Lauren: Hey everybody! I know…I know…you're probably thinking, what the heck is this? A bonus? What's that? Well, let me explain! I was listening to the Trigun guitar song, "Suna no Hoshi", it's the song that's played while Wolfwood is thinking about his life. A very good song, but that's beside the point. It put me in this odd…mello mood…a strange enough mood to make me soul search. I started thinking of these questions and was going to make this an original, personal piece but then I realized how similar Inuyasha's thoughts probably were to mine. And so, I made this a bonus to the song "With Every Light" by Smashing Pumpkins. It's from Inuyasha's point of view and he's just reflecting on his past life before Kagome arrived in his clinic and what's changed since she's arrived. I've started writing the next chapter; sorry about the cliffhanger, but as soon as I get it finished I'll post it ASAP! So until then, I hope you enjoy this…I really put my heart into this piece.

-::Bonus::-

~*With Every Light*~

~By: Lauren~

Do you ever get that feeling?

It's where you wake up and yet…you don't feel rested. You feel weary and tired. You think to yourself, why? Why is life like this?

I got that a lot. Every day…it was as if I were a zombie. All my life I'd get up, go to school or work then go back home. Sometimes there was the occasional date or party with friends but it was nothing special to me. I really don't know why…but…it all seemed so…so over played. Over done.

~*~

Taking over we're taking over
Throw the weight up off your shoulders now
That we can show our love
It's almost over it's almost over
No more war and no more soldiers
To stand against this love

~*~

The same thing, again and again and again.

And what for? What is it all really for? To live an 'accomplished' life? To wake up each and every day to tell yourself, 'Hey, at least I'm not living in the gutter or worse'? To drive up and down the street with every other human being on the planet? Like carbon copies of one another? There are a thousand other people out there, doing the same thing as me. Do they really need one more? I think, after I found her, I found my answer to at least one of my questions.

What is it for?

It's to live each and every day to its fullest, spending every second with the person or people you love.

It's to wake up each and every day and remember how lucky you are to have that special someone. That special person that cares about you just as much as you do for them. Even if it takes a lifetime to find them…even if it takes a million heartbreaks to reach them…in the end, it's worth it. It's worth it to gain that feeling every morning, every minute, and every second of the day. Knowing…they'll be there for you.

I used to wake up with this weird feeling. I felt…felt like I really didn't belong here. It was as if I had this greater purpose waiting for me and I had to only find it and yet…it was always hidden. I felt so…lost. You feel like you don't belong at all. You're not meant to be in this place…you just aren't meant to be there.

Why? Sometimes, you just don't know.

I felt so empty…I was like a shell, ever moving and being pushed along throughout my life. When my mother was alive, I was too. When she died…I felt part of me slip away. There was nothing inside me except for a yearning to escape…a yearning to get away from it all. I wanted to be in the place where I belonged- the place that was meant for me. The place I can be happy and live freely without these odd, aching feelings. I felt like there was something more out there for me and I was just wasting away, losing time and sitting on my rear. There was something more for me, something I had to do, some place I had to be, something that needed me and I knew I couldn't find it in this place I called home.

~*~

Away with all the troubles that you've made
Away with waiting for another day
Away
Look ma the sun is shining on me
Impatient in love and aching to be
Could you believe in heaven
If heaven was all you had?

~*~

What really is a 'home' any ways?

A house you return to every day? Or a place where you feel you belong?

A place where you feel wanted…needed…safe…loved…

And you give those feelings back in return to this place called 'home'.

I just didn't belong here…I was so empty inside…I was a blank slate…a puppet, the strings being pulled by those around me.

What was I waiting for?

Was I waiting to die?

If I sat around much longer, I knew I'd really end up waiting to die.

I had to get away from this place. This loneliness…this yearning was ripping me apart into pieces.

The first step away was a hard, forced one and the road was long and tiring…yet…in the end, it was worth it.

~*~

We're taking over, we're taking over
Throw away your four-leafed clovers
And stand beside this love
Away with everything you've grown to hate
Away with everything that holds you safe
Away

~*~

She was what I yearned for. Her and the stories she weaved from within her heart. I belong with her and she belongs with me, that I know. It's with a group of strange, rag-tag people that I find myself filling up my empty spaces.

I find my yearnings being fulfilled and my heart being satisfied.

I find that…with them…and with her…is where I belong.

I'm not a zombie anymore and I'm nobody's puppet. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner.

I control the strings and I control my life. All I had to do was grip my tangled strings and pull, setting it into motion and then I mastered it. I became my own puppeteer, making my own decisions, choices and actions.

I chose to head down a new, dangerous pathway. With her…of course. With them all, with my true home. The home I've dreamt of, the home my heart has always been calling for.

~*~

And every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
Every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
Every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
I'm never alone

~*~

What was I waiting for? For her to strut right in to me and wave her hands in front of my face? No, life's not that easy. You can't just sit around, expecting things to happen for you. You have to jump out there and make them happen for you. You have to keep your eyes peeled and at the same time…relax and things might just work out. She might just jump in your way while you jump into hers.

I know I'll never forget how lucky I am to have her. Each and every day I wake up joyfully, turning over to watch the golden sunlight rise on her beautiful face.

And I'm thankful for having her, I'm thankful for finding her. I'm thankful to her for all she's done to and for me. She's filled up my emptiness and more importantly…she's given me a place where I belong.

She's given me her heart and I've happily given her mine. I gave it of my own choice, although it really wasn't my choice to fall in love with her. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'd never change that in a million years. I just mean…I never expected to love her this much. Sure, I thought I'd be friendly to my new patient and yet…in the process…I fell for her.

Things…they aren't as over done or repeated as before. Plus, even if they are repeated a bit…I don't mind…as long as she's beside me.

Because that's what life is about, right?

Finding the place your happiest in…

Finding the place you can call home…

And most importantly…finding the one to call your true love…

…Finding the one whom you believe is your soul mate…

~*~

Look ma, the sun is shining on me
Taking my time to do as I please
Could you believe in heaven
If heaven was all you had?
The sun is beaming, radiating
All the love we are creating
We are creating

~*~

Yeah, sure, it's not an easy pathway. It's full of heartaches, sorrow, fits of anger but it's got its perks. Not to mention it's full of bliss and happy moments…moments where you want time to just stop for you and often…it seems it does.

In the end, it's worth it.

It's defiantly worth it.

Hell, but then again, I'm only a hanyou…

A hanyou in love with a human…

(Well, technically, a reincarnation of a hanyou but I've got back my fair share of demon blood…plus, that's beside the point…)

~*~

And every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
Every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
Every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
Every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
I'm never alone