Shadowed Souls
Chapter Twelve
Thank you every one who reviewed for being so kind.
Mystandmemory: Can I have Hugo Weaving now? *smirks*
Farewell: Finally this chapter popped into my head while Elrond and Celebrian were off some where else…
Star: *hands box with Sevvie in it over*
Pie: thanks for letting me off the hook.
I'm really sorry for updating less frequently. Real life is getting in the way … ick … and my muse is fixated on elves. There's only one more chapter to go now *weeps*
A/N: thoughts are like *this*.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Stumbling along the corridor, a sudden flash of uneasiness swept through Sirius, as if someone had crept up behind him. He peered into the shadows.
"Who's there? If that's you, Snape, you can go away. I don't have time for any fun chitchat with you."
There was a barely perceptible movement, a rustling of cloth, and then Harry, Ron and Hermione stood before him, their robes askew, regarding him with worried faces. Indeed, he looked awful; dark circles spreading under his wearied eyes like ink on damp paper. The traces of tears stilled shimmered on his drawn cheeks.
"Is he dead?" Ron asked bluntly, and Hermione elbowed him hard for his lack of tact. "Uh … I'm sorry."
"No. He is alive … but … but…" he broke off.
"What is it?" Harry took a step forward.
"He will not believe me, he will not believe that I love him." Sirius' eyes widened, aghast at what he admitted to these children.
*What will they think?*
He waited for the blow to fall, for loathing to dawn in his godson's eyes, but Harry smiled softly, while Hermione could not restrain a cheshire-cat grin and Ron looked dumbfounded, but not displeased.
"So you do love him," the girl breathed.
Of course … but … but … What?" he stuttered in confusion.
"We did guess," Hermione said acerbically.
"We saw the picture," Harry interjected.
"What picture?" he asked nervously.
"There was a picture of all the Marauders at Hogwarts. My mum and dad were at the front, but you and Remus were in it and you had your arm round him. But Hermione knew before we saw that."
"But I haven't seen you that much. How could you've known?" His bafflement was not eased.
Hermione ignored a warning glance from Harry and replied, "We had tea with Professor Lupin. He loves you too."
Sirius stared at her intently beneath furrowed brows.
"Did he tell you that?" he asked sharply.
"N … no," she quailed a little.
The façade of ice returned to the Animagus' face.
"Of course he didn't. He doesn't love me," he remarked, and his tone made the students shiver a little.
"But…?"
"No, Hermione … and this goes for you too Harry: please don't try to meddle in my affairs," he paused, and great pain shone in his eyes. "It is too late for us, and it is all my fault. Remus does not love me."
With that, he transformed into a great shaggy dog, whose shoulders seemed to slump, and bounded off down the corridor.
The trio looked at each other helplessly. Hermione was mute, but Ron exclaimed, "Ok, now this is just getting weird. What the bloody hell is going on?"
"I don't know, but we're going to find out," Harry said grimly.
Slipping the cloak over their heads as a precaution, they sidled through the door, and made their way along the darkened ward.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Remus awoke slowly, blinking into the dimness. Although he could clearly feel his living heart beating in his chest, there was a remarkable lack of the searing agony which he expected. In its place there was only the mildest ache, almost comforting in its reality.
Gradually, he became more aware of his surroundings, and his eyes locked with a solemn green pair nearby.
*Perhaps I have died after all…*
"Lily?" he almost called, but something restrained him, and he was glad that he had not spoken when he recognised the unruly mop of black curls which fell into those eyes.
"Harry?" he croaked.
"Hello, Remus," the boy replied, overly cheerfully.
"Do you know what happened to me?"
The children exchanged wary glances.
"There are some rumours in the school, but Professor McGonagall yelled at us for talking about it, and we only know that there was a Death Eater attack."
Remus nodded, surprised to find that his head spun very little as he did so.
"Yes … but why am I not dead?" he asked. "I remember, I was dying."
Hermione choked back a sob.
"I'm not sure," she whispered, "but Professor Snape was gone for a couple of days. Perhaps he made a potion to cure you."
"Or perhaps he was just thinking up a new way to torture us," Ron snorted.
Despite the seeming strangeness of a benign intervention by Severus Snape, it made sense, and certainly explained the foul herbal taste which clung to his tongue. As Remus considered the matter, he was suddenly afraid.
'Where is Sirius? I remember him being here."
Harry's eyes blazed.
"We met him in the corridor as he was leaving," he said almost fiercely.
Remus inhaled sharply, feeling bitter pain tear at his heart despite his best efforts to shut it off.
"Good," he forced out. "It is better that he is not here."
"Good?" Harry exploded, the fury and terror of the last few months channeled into this one outlet. "What do you mean it's bloody 'good'? He loves you, and you love him. What's so good about the fact that you're just sitting here like nothing's happening?"
Remus stiffened.
"You are mistaken," he said dispassionately. "Black does not love me."
Ron gaped like a fish, and scrubbed at his fiery hair in exasperation.
"That does it!" he snapped. "First I thought that this pair were loonies when they first told me about you two, but you and Sirius are worse. It's just as bad as spending a summer around Percy when he was mooning over Penelope Clearwater because she'd dumped him, but refusing to owl her because he was too busy with his stupid international cauldron bottoms. He said just the same thing."
"Who?" inquired Remus, mildly amused despite everything. "Percy?"
"No. Sirius: he said that you don't love him."
The others seemed more than a little surprised by their friend's outburst.
"He said that?" The werewolf twisted the edge of the sheet between his hands, feeling dizzy, as if a great, choking weight had settled on his chest.
"Yes," Harry's voice was sombre.
Remus shook his head, shutting himself off from the wonderful possibility, fearing the terrible pain when it was proved to be a mirage.
"No. He doesn't love me. I can't let myself believe that, because it isn't true." He paused, and confusion flickered across his tired features. "I thought that you would be more bothered about this, Harry. I mean, about the way I feel about Sirius…"
Harry let out a great shout of laughter which rattled the glass in the windows, and Ron joined him. The crackling tension in the room seemed to ease a little.
"Be quiet!" Hermione hissed. "You'll wake Madam Pomfrey, and then we'll be in trouble."
It was only with great difficulty that the boys stifled their giggles with the sleeves of their robes pressed to their mouths.
"Because you're both men?" Harry snorted, wiping tears from his eyes. "Look around."
He gestured wildly with one arm, narrowly missing a fatal collision with a vase of flowers, but his tone grew solemn. "Death Eaters are everywhere. I could die tomorrow; my parents are already dead. Why should I care if you're in love with Sirius instead of some girl? At least you're in love with someone."
"Love isn't everything," the man whispered, more to convince himself than to explain anything to Harry.
"Is that what you told my parents?" the boy rasped.
"Of course not," Remus sighed, struggling for words. "Lily and James were … were in love."
"Yes, they were." Harry's face grew determined. "But so are you and Sirius."
His gaze was so fierce that Remus ducked his head to avoid it.
"He really does love you," Hermione asserted. "You should have seen his face. He was so sad."
Faint hope began to thaw in Remus' frozen heart and light his features.
"He looked unhappy … He was not simply grateful that I am alive, and nothing more?" His words were almost inaudible.
"How many times do I have to tell you?" Harry asked rhetorically. "He was so sodding miserable because he loves you and he thinks you don't love him."
"Really?"
"Really!" the trio affirmed in unison.
A great smile split Remus' face.
"I … I thought he did not love me. He said he did not," he stammered.
"Men!" Hermione huffed. "Do you always believe what people sat instead if trying to understand what they mean?"
Ron and Harry looked at her quizically, but the werewolf merely chuckled.
"Almost always, Hermione, almost always."
*Perhaps he really does love me. Oh my Siri, my darling…*
He noticed the first hints of pink stain the sky outside the window.
"You'd better go now, or you'll miss breakfast," he reminded them. The students made to leave, but Harry turned back.
"You'll say something to him?"
"If I dare, I shall." But he would venture no more than that.
Once the children had departed, he struggled from the bed, cursing the lingering weakness as his legs became entangled in the sheets. He searched around for his clothes, clad only in loose pyjama bottoms, but found that the ruined robes had been destroyed. Wrapping himself in the sheet he stumbled towards the door of Madam Pomfrey's quarters and hammered on the solid wood. She appeared with her wand in her hand.
"What is it?" What's happened now?'
"Please can I have some clothes?" he begged.
"Silly boy, you should be in bed. You're in no state to wander round." She noticed that he was still unsteady on his feet and needed to prop himself against the wall.
"Please give me some clothes."
"Don't be ridiculous. You have been seriously ill and need to rest."
"Please."
Madam Pomfrey was busy, and she knew that once this particularly troublesome patient was gone she would be inundated with children with all manner of colds and sniffles and magical injuries. Besides, as he stood before her, the light sheet wrapped round his shivering body, she could not help but see a twelve year-old with claw marks on his back and fear in his eyes.
"Oh, all right."
TBC
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Do I really need to remind you how much I love feedback? So much that I'll send you good vibes and virtual chocolate *smiles*