Author's Notes: Thanks, as ever, to my delectable beta readers, Ria and Big Momma, who have been put to more work than usual on this one. As I'm sure you can imagine, much work was needed on one of the flashbacks. This chapter is dedicated to my Aunt, who passed away in January. She was a very special woman who taught me a lot and who always supported my writing. I can only hope she would be proud of the chapter which is dedicated to her.
Chapter Nine – I Will Fear No Evil; For You Are With Me
The small cracks on the ceiling had started to engrain themselves in Severus Snape's mind, like a complicated but quite pointless map. He had been studying them, on and off, since he had been placed in the holding cell and was now growing quite bored with them. However, it was raining outside and the normally dingy view from his small, grimy window was even more bleak than usual.
All around him he could hear shouts, and idle chatter that brought him back to his times at Hogwarts. He jumped as another prisoner started banging erratically on his door. Sighing heavily, he closed his eyes against the disturbance, trying to phase it out of his mind. But as the white noise of his surroundings faded, other sounds, from within his mind welled up. Softly spoken words, and battle cries; caustic jibes, and words of affection. The variety that he had lived through suddenly became very apparent to him.
His mind drifted to another who had lived a long and varied life, and to the day he died.
*****
Sea gulls cried as they weaved and bobbed in the wind high above them, and the sea roared. The day was gloomy, and both sea and sky seemed a wash of grey. The four of them had come to this ancient place, filled with conflicting dark and light magic. The dark from the ancient ruins of the castle above them, the light from the place they now entered.
The cave was filled with dark stone, made blacker by the water that dripped from it. Harry made a puzzled face, and turned to his headmaster. "I thought we were meant to be in a crystal cave," he said.
The older man gave a brief smile that looked strange on his grave, worried features. He had been unusually solemn all day, but had told no one why. "The cave we are presently in is Merlin's cave. His crystal cave is further in the depths."
"That is what makes this so very dangerous, Potter," Snape added. "Once we are in the depths of the cave, there is only one way out again.
Harry nodded silently. Professor McGonagall was walking ahead of them, with her wand tip lit. It cast very little light, and being at the back, most of what Harry saw was shadows. As such, he was careful to watch where Professor Snape trod, and walk in his footsteps. From what he could see, though, they were surrounded by a winding tunnel of pitch black rock. It was almost perfectly round, and the stone had been smoothed by the sea.
They carried on in perfect silence for about ten minutes, until all the natural light was far behind them. The deeper they went, the more cramped the cave became, until Professor Snape was hunched almost double. Harry was grateful to his parents for his small seeker's build.
Without a word, Professor Snape halted, and Harry walked into his back. Snape scowled over his shoulder, but said nothing, and gestured for Harry to do the same. He heard Professor MacGonagall's voice softly ahead, "There it is, Albus."
"Yes, I see it. Very well. Severus, if you would do the honours?"
Harry saw the potions master stiffen slightly in mild surprise. Then he walked forwards, drawing his wand. With Snape, his main obstruction out of the way, Harry could see ahead, and gasped. He saw a vast cavern full of what looked like shards of broken mirror, each reflective but tinted a different colour, in a huge broken rainbow. There was a small stone arch-way that lead into the cavern. Harry stood in awe of the sight, and even Snape paused and drew a deep breath, gazing at the cave's splendour. The vision of the cave itself was spectacular, but the sight of Snape taking a moment to be human and appreciate something beyond his own reasoning was truly breath taking.
"I am sorry, Severus, but there will be time in the future to look at this place of beauty. For the moment, we must make haste." Dumbledore was glancing quickly about the shadows, and for the first time ever Harry thought he saw fear in the old man's eyes.
Snape nodded once, pulling himself back together. He ducked under the archway of the cave's entrance, then looked around him, searching for a crystal of the right size and properties. When he found one that was near enough to perfect, he laid the tip of his wand against it and mumbled a lot of Latin words that Harry could not understand. He knew the essence of what was being said, however. He was asking Merlin's permission to remove a crystal from his cave, in order that it may be used for a greater good. The essence of Merlin would then ask for the nature of this 'greater good'. That was where he would come in.
"Potter," Snape growled at length. "The first stage is complete. I need you to take over."
Harry nodded and ducked into the cave. It should have been darker inside the cavern, with most of the wand light blocked out. But it was almost as if the crystals around him emitted their own glow. He looked up, wondering if there was a ceiling, but it seemed as though it just went up and up without ending. Harry knew that this was a point exactly below what had been the Lady Igraine's room in Tintagel Castle, where Kind Arthur had been born. As Harry walked towards Snape, he felt and heard a crunching under his feet. He looked down and saw that he was walking across shards of crystal so tiny they were almost like dust.
Snape was standing against one wall, staring resolutely at a large purple crystal – probably amethyst, Harry thought. He walked up to the man and stood next to him. "What do you need me to do?"
Snape's eyes flicked briefly to him, then back to his wand. "Place your hands over mine. Take some of the strain." Harry ducked under his Professor's right arm, so he was encircled by the arms of the other man. He laid his hands a top the other's, and had a momentary feeling of skin sliding over skin, before he felt a sealing or a dragging like his hands were attracted to a very strong magnet. A warm feeling spread from his hands, up his arms and took hold of him. It was a bizarre mixture of being under imperius, having a ghost walk through you and what Harry thought heaven must feel like.
"What you are feeling is known as Merlin's possession," Snape said softly in his ear. His voice sounded far away but still impeccably clear, like Snape wasn't really speaking to him but was communicating via a more direct link. "The essence of Merlin the Wild, which was left in this cavern, protects the crystals of his cave. Only those with what he deems a worthy cause may request and be granted his help. I have made the request. You must make him grant it."
Harry frowned, breathing heavily now. Keeping a focused mind in this strange form of consciousness was hard work. "But…but what can I do?"
"You can remember."
A stabbing light shot through Harry's body. He couldn't see it, but he could feel it. It stopped right between his eyes. Memories were being dragged to the forefront. His parents' death, Voldemort's first downfall, the feeling of searing pain as he held onto Quirrell's skin, seeing his parents at Voldemort's resurrection, Cedric Diggory dying. All seemed like they were playing in slow motion, but the ordeal must have been over in just a few seconds.
As he came back to himself, he felt Snape slacken behind him. He wondered if he had been through the same thing. He turned, his hands now released from the magnet force, and took in Snape's reaction. He looked exhausted, afraid and disgusted all at once. Whatever Merlin has made him remember, Harry was sure it hadn't been pleasant. His eyes were shut, and as he removed his wand he smiled weakly. "We have been deemed worthy."
He turned and ducked out of the cave. Harry nodded, silently thanking the presence that had briefly inhabited him for its help, and followed.
Snape was standing behind Dumbledore. He laid a hand gently on the old man's shoulder, and he turned his head almost nervously. Snape gave a rare smile, and showed Dumbledore the crystal. Dumbledore reached a hand to it and touched it with his fingertips, sensing the power that it emitted. "It is exactly what we needed, Severus." Snape kept his hand extended, waiting for the headmaster to take it from him. The warlock simply shook his head, looking into Snape's eyes with sadness. "Give it to Harry. He will look after it."
Snape frowned, but handed it carefully to Harry as Dumbledore had requested. Albus looked at the three gathered near him in a small circle. He rested one hand on Snape's shoulder, the other on Harry's and smiled sadly. "You have each of you done your duty today. I must do the same. No matter what happens in the future, near or far, I want you to remember this: there will never be enough darkness, in all the world, to snuff out the flame of one tiny candle. Whatever happens, however bleak it might seem, you must never give up."
Professor MacGonagall smiled and said, "I think we should stop our chatter and get back to Hogwarts. The first stage of the plan is completed. I am sure the others will want to know as soon as possible."
Dumbledore nodded gravely. "Yes, it is time to go now." MacGonagall moved to lead the way again, but Dumbledore held her back. "I would prefer to lead the way back. If you don't mind, Minerva?"
The Professor smiled. "Of course not, Albus."
Dumbledore nodded and lit his wand, striding ahead of the group. He kept at least three paces in front of the group throughout the short journey. Eventually, bright white daylight began to permeate the confined space, and the group tasted fresh air.
Snape smiled up at the sky and allowed himself a moment of appreciation. He had survived the last Death Eater meeting, the new first years were not as moronic as he had feared and the first stage of the plan that would cause Voldemort's final defeat had been completed. For once everything was not going abysmally.
"Albus? Are you alright?"
Snape frowned, and looked at the two older members of the party. Dumbledore was leaning heavily against the smaller woman's shoulder. His other arm was raised to his chest.
"Albus?" Snape started forward as the older man collapsed to his knees. From the corner of his eye he saw Harry do the same. He fell to his knees beside the old man holding his shoulders and lowering him back, until his head rested on Snape's knees. He spoke calmly and quickly. "What happened?"
The old man's breathing was heavy and laboured. Professor MacGonagall stood over them. "I-I don't know. He just…It just came on suddenly."
"Albus? Tell me what is wrong. Tell me what to do."
The old man opened his eyes and smiled weakly. He still breathed erratically. "There is nothing to be done, Severus," he turned his gaze on Harry. "Harry, dear boy. If you would be so good as to look in my pocket, there is something important there."
Harry leant forward and reached into Dumbledore's pocket, pulling out a small roll of parchment.
Snape shook his head firmly. "I cannot let this happen. Albus, please tell me how I can stop this."
"Let go, Severus." His voice was growing weaker and his skin had become unhealthily pale. "I have…always tried…to be what each of you never had…and I am happy …that each of you …are here together," he licked his dry lips. His voice was cracking with each phrase. He blinked once, and barely reopened his eyes. "Goodbye, my friends."
As the great man's eyes went dark and glassy, a single tear fell on his face.
Sea gulls cried as they weaved and bobbed in the wind high above them, and the sea roared. The day was gloomy, and both sea and sky seemed a wash of grey. And from what seemed a very long way away – almost from a different time – someone pained howled to the sky.
***
"Visitor, Snape," came the now familiar gravely voice of the warden.
Snape started slightly and sat up on his bunk. His cheeks were wet and he brushed the tear tracks away quickly, angry with himself. He turned his head to the door, fully expecting Harry to stride through it. But it was not Harry, or Minerva MacGonagall, or even Hermione Granger.
Snape scowled at his former student. "Come to gloat, Weasley?"
Ron nodded once, briefly. "Snape."
"I would have thought you would not be allowed to visit me, given the circumstances." Snape attempted to pull himself up into something resembling his teaching posture. The one designed to terrify first years and make Gryffindors uncomfortable. From Ron Weasley's smirk, it didn't seem to be working very well.
"Oh no. As a prisoner you have little to no rites. We could run crowds of ex-students through here if we wanted. Three sickles a go."
Snape's jaw tightened, but he kept direct eye contact with his former pupil. "I am presuming, however, that your visit does have a purpose. I would request that you spit it out. This cell is not pretty, but it is made all the uglier by your presence."
"I actually came to pass on a message to you." Ron's eyes were serious, but there was a nasty curling at his lips that Snape didn't like the look of.
"From whom?" he asked.
"Lucius Malfoy."
The potions master scowled and lay back down on his bunk, closing his eyes. "Lucius Malfoy was a hippogriff short of a wizard zoo before he went into Azkaban. By now he must be a raving lunatic. I am sure, if he could string a comprehensible sentence together, that it would be nothing I wish to here."
Ron smirked. "It was quite a short sentence, and although it made no sense to me I'm sure it would mean something to you."
Snape sighed. "Go away Weasley."
Ron Weasley walked over to the man and crouched down next to him, until his lips were barely inches from his greasy ear. Very softly, he whispered, "Lucius sends his love."
Snape ground his teeth together and breathed deeply. "If that is all, Weasley, I would request that you cut this visit short. My defence council will be here shortly and we have a lot to discuss."
Ron snorted, returning to an upright stance. "I'm sure you do. You know, looking back and knowing what I know now, you and Harry were always very…close, weren't you? Always had him wrapped round your little finger. But if I find out that you did to Harry what you did to Draco, I will personally see to it that you never see the light of day again."
He nodded to the warden, who unlocked the door, and left without a further word.
Snape sighed heavily, and opened his eyes again. He knew he had always had a reason for hating that particular Weasley. It was not common for someone to be able to get to Snape, but he had just come close. A little too close for comfort.
He tried to relax by letting his thoughts drift again, but they just kept coming back to those words.
'Lucius sends his love'.
'You and Harry were always very close…'
***
1st January, 2003 - Hogwarts
Snape had sensed his presence from the moment he'd entered the dungeons. It was like a prickling on the back of his neck. He had always had a certain sensitivity for detecting the presence of certain people. It would seem that this was one of them. He sighed heavily. It had been a long week and this really was the last thing he needed.
He placed the last crystal phial on the top shelf and closed the suitcase. Having reduced it and put it away on the bottom shelf, he walked into the main classroom.
"Hello, Professor."
***
"Another visitor, Snape," the voice cut into his reverie again.
This time he didn't move. He knew it was Harry.
"Hello, Professor," he said cheerily. "How are you today?"
Snape scowled. "All the worse for hearing your happy voice." He crossed his arms across his chest and glared at the ceiling. The visit from Ron had unsettled him, and he was perfectly ready to take it out on Harry.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked.
Snape considered a snide remark, or an insult – anything to push the boy away. Instead he sighed heavily. "I had a visit from your old chum Ron that unsettled me slightly. That is all. Nothing important."
Harry frowned. "I'll have words with someone. I'm sure it must be a law or something for the prosecution to harass the defendant."
Snape nodded but made no comment.
Harry was grinning. "Would you like the good news or the bad news?"
"The bad news."
"Sirius won't be able to speak as a character witness."
Snape smirked. "That's supposed be bad news?"
Harry raised an eyebrow. "You need as many character witnesses as possible, and with a character like yours there aren't many people willing to say nice things. You're just lucky Hermione and Lupin still think you're worth it."
"I shall make a note, in future, to be pleasant to people, just in case I should ever be imprisoned again. I shall be charming and simpering, regardless of whether they are imbeciles or not, and everyone shall like me. I shall allow my classes to run wild, and endanger their own lives with fatal potions…"
"I get the picture!" Harry interrupted, but he was trying to hide a grin.
"And the good news?" Snape asked, flicking his eyes to Harry for the first time.
"The good news is, Hermione's found what we think you were looking for in that book of yours – which, by the way, I think you'll be lucky if you ever see again. She's fallen in love with it."
"Good," he said. "She is a reasonably tolerable woman, and deserves to find happiness."
"Something called the Aspicio Draft. Literally translated as the Seeing Potion. A potion to reavel the past, present and future, depending on the mix of ingredients, and I really don't know why I'm telling you this because it came from your book anyway."
"A marvellous observation Potter. More pertinent to our current dilemma, is she able to brew a suitable potion in time?"
Harry nodded. "Not only that, but I have filed my request that it be used in tandem with the Veritaserum. Hermione thinks that they'll say yes, but ask that we only use it when we cross-examine. Sounds fair to me."
"More than fair if it will give that dunderheaded Weasley boy a kick in the balls." Snape's face was blank, but his eyes sparkled.
"Now, now. No need to get competitive. With any luck, it should go without a hitch." Harry knocked his former Professor's feet off of the bunk to sit down. "Budge up, Snape."
The potions Professor did so, and sat upright. "Potter, why do you persist in calling me 'Snape'?"
Harry made a considering face. "I think I follow your lead. You've always called me Potter. You occasionally revert to 'brat' or 'idiot'. I think you once even called me the Gryffindor bike. Nope, I can't remember you ever calling me Harry."
Snape frowned thoughtfully. "I must have, at some point."
"When?"
Snape sighed. "I am becoming decrepit. It would be pointless to ask me."
Harry rolled his eyes. "What would you rather I call you? Severus? Sevvie?"
Snape blanched. "Good God, no. When I was seventeen there was a girl in my Herbology class who insisted on calling me that."
Harry chuckled. "Did she flutter her eyelashes at you, and offer to braid your hair?"
Snape said nothing distinct, but muttered coldly under his breath, making Harry smirk. "For the sake of this trial, I think it would be prudent for us to be on first name terms."
Harry nodded. "Right you are, Severus."
"Now, was there anything else, or may I continue my nap in peace?"
"You were napping? You really are getting on, aren't you?" Snape just glared, and Harry grinned back at him. It faded quickly, however, and he chose a crack in the wall behind Snape's head to stare at as he spoke. "Actually, there was just one thing. With this potion whatsit tomorrow. I just wanted to warn you that I won't be able to control what comes out of Draco's mouth. That is, if there was something that you shared with Draco or something that…Lucius shared with Draco…Well, I just wanted to warn you. It might not, but if it does…"
Harry felt warmth against his chin. Skin. He dragged his eyes back to Snape's big black pools. "How do you know about that?" he said softly.
Harry blinked, and tried to think of a convincing lie.
"Did Ron tell you about it?"
Harry frowned. "Y-yes. Ron told me. Trying to put me off, I think."
Snape nodded, as though it was as he had expected all along. His hand had fallen slightly from Harry's chin, and curved perfectly naturally along the side of Harry's neck. "There was something between us for a long time. I am not ashamed of it, but would prefer that it be kept from prying eyes, if that is within your capabilities."
Harry felt a flush rising up under Snape's hand as his thumb began to brush across the smooth skin of his throat. He smiled nervously. "I'll-I'll do what I can, of course."
"Thank you." Snape's voice was deep and soft, and it reminded Harry of dark chocolate. Sweet with a slight edge of bitterness that was really quite appealing.
They remained silent for a short while, simply looking at each other, while invisible electric tension sparked between them.
"I thought you were going to…"
"Go. I was…" Harry noticed how close they had become. Snape's hand had found it's way behind Harry's neck, and Harry himself was leant forwards, his hands playing nervously with Snape's robes. His eyes widened as Snape's closed, and he pulled away abruptly, remembering Lupin's advice. "I, um…I need to-to go. Now. I'll see you tomorrow. In the trial. Because I'm your lawyer, and that's what I do. So…yeah. Bye."
Snape frowned heavily at him, and cleared his throat. "Yes. Tomorrow. Good bye."
Harry had already given the nod to the warden, and was out of the door in a flash. He walked briskly down the corridor, muttering a mantra under his breath: Cold shower, cold shower, cold shower…
*****
"Hello Professor."
Snape didn't lose stride or look up. He just kept walking towards his desk. "Go away, Potter."
Again, Snape didn't need to look. He knew the exact disappointed expression that the boy would be wearing. 'Good,' he thought.
"I just wanted to say welcome back."
"Thank you. Now go away." Snape opened the drawer in his desk. "Wait!" He did look up now, and saw a faint glimmer of hope in the boy's eyes. "You can take this with you."
Harry automatically caught the small book that was thrown at him. He frowned. "I don't want it. It's a Christmas present, for you. With you being away I thought you might not have any presents, and I didn't want it. I thought you'd make some use of it."
Snape rolled his eyes and glared at his student. "That 'present', as you so quaintly put it, has quite possibly landed me in a mess that will be very difficult to clean up. I would be delighted if you burned it!"
Harry was wearing the wounded look again. "What kind of mess?"
Snape sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't matter."
"But-"
There was a sharp knock on the door before Harry could continue. Both looked up, then towards the door.
"Yes, what is it?"
The door opened and a tall, aristocratic looking young man walked into the room. His blonde hair fell to his sharp jaw line, and he was dressed almost totally in black. "Sorry to interrupt, Professor," he glanced briefly at Harry, "Potter. I need to speak with you privately."
Harry glared at his nemesis. "I thought you'd gone home for the holidays, Malfoy."
"Not that it's any of your business, Potter, but I came back early."
Snape nodded to Draco, but he was frowning hard. "Potter was just leaving." He gave Harry a look that said 'piss off, before you cause any more trouble'. Harry left the classroom, closing the door quietly behind him.
As he walked back towards the Gryffindor common room, he opened the book for a tertiary glance at the inscription he had written. He frowned, then smiled. Below it, written in a familiar, spidery scrawl were the words:
'Thank you. This is appreciated, but cannot be accepted. S."
***
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