I am really sorry I didn't update for so long. I had exams. I really did! Anyway they're finally over. So I finally updated!!
For those who didn't give up hope, thanks a lot!
Thanks to the reviewers. You guys are the reason I go on.
Disclaimer: blah blah…don't own any of these characters.
ROSS AND RACHEL* The present *
Rachel looked across the table at Ross. He was scowling at his breakfast. She sighed. He hadn't said two words to her since the party last night. He had even gone to the extent of sleeping in the spare room. In a way, she was relieved. She didn't feel like going through the act of talking to him. She was still trying to come to terms with seeing Joey. She was so glad to see him. She wanted to run to him and cry out her problems to him. He would comfort her, wouldn't he? She wasn't so sure anymore. He had seemed so different.
"Mom, can you do my hair?"
Rachel smiled. However screwed her life may be, she still had her baby girl.
****
Monica dialed Rachel's number. She thought back to the party. Rach had seemed so upset. Maybe it was the shock of seeing Joey. But still she had to be sure.
"Hello?"
"Hi Rach. Listen, would you like to have lunch with me? I found this really great Italian restaurant."
Rachel thought it over. It would be nice to have a chat with Monica. She needed some answers.
****
"Sorry I'm late, Rach."
Rachel nodded. She hadn't even noticed that Monica was late. She was too preoccupied with her thoughts.
"So how are you Rachel? You seemed kinda upset yesterday."
She hadn't expected Monica to dive straight in. "Can we order first? I'm starving." She needed time to sort her thoughts out.
Fifteen minutes later, with the food all laid out in front of them, Monica asked again.
Rachel heaved a sigh. "I know. I guess I was a bit surprised to see Joey. He… well, it was a jolt, you know."
Monica narrowed her eyes. "And that's all?"
Rachel grimaced. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Monica continued to stare at her. "No… I … he… when did he get married?"
Monica raised her eyebrows. "A year ago."
"Oh yeah. He told me that," she mumbled.
"Rachel, what's really bothering you?"
"Why didn't he invite me? I thought I meant more to him."
"You do, Rach. But you haven't exactly gone out of your way to keep in touch with him."
Rachel opened her mouth to protest. But Monica continued. "I know. I know. Ross was mad at him. I'm not blaming you. But Joey obviously didn't want to rock the boat again."
"It's rocked enough as it is. It wouldn't have made a difference," Rachel said bitterly.
This was more than a tirade against Joey, Monica realized. For the last 6 years Monica had watched Rachel grow more somber. The fun loving Rachel seemed to have gone forever. At first, Monica had put it down to maturity. After all, Rachel was a married woman now. A little maturity was to be expected. Yesterday, with a blinding clarity, she understood. Rachel was unhappy. Seeing Joey had finally broken down those barriers she had built. Her eyes finally showed the misery she was in.
Monica took a deep breath. This needed delicacy and tact. "Rachel, is your marriage in trouble?" Well, so much for delicacy. She didn't have much of it anyway.
Rachel choked on her food. After getting her breath back, she looked Monica straight in the eyes. This was Ross' sister but … she was also her oldest friend.
"Yes."
Monica looked down at her plate. Somehow, she had always known. But it needed the total desolation in Rachel's eyes to finally bring it to the surface. She held her friend's hand. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I wish you had told me sooner."
Rachel hadn't known what to expect. Monica was fiercely loyal to her brother. But, she didn't look angry. She was sad, but not angry. A feeling of relief washed over Rachel.
****
Ross paced the floor. Where was she? He had reached home at 8 p.m. and was surprised to see Emma's babysitter there. He had paid her and then ordered a pizza. He didn't really feel like cooking tonight even though it was his turn.
It was already 11p.m. Rachel had never stayed out this late. She was always there for Emma's bedtime story. After a lot of effort, he had finally put their little girl to bed at 9.
He walked out to the balcony, deep in thought. When had their marriage ceased to be a marriage? It was all an act and been so for so long now. When Joey had tried to stop the marriage, he was so livid. He realized now that Joey shouldn't have walked away. Joey was the only one who knew about him and Jill. Yet he had still walked away.
Ross didn't know exactly when but, in the early days of their marriage, itself, he was consumed with feelings of guilt. He tried to make up for every way he had hurt her. Maybe in the beginning, she had enjoyed it. But she started to get annoyed. They started having fights over silly reasons. It didn't take much to get them arguing. He started staying away from home. At first, she had tried talking to him; tried to convince him to come back earlier. Pretty soon, it didn't matter either way.
He'd always be back around Emma's bedtime. He would stand at Emma's doorway and watch Rachel tell her a story. That was always the highlight of his day. Rachel would finish the story and they'd both tuck little Emma in. He looked forward to it everyday. The only time when they behaved like a normal couple. As soon as they got to their room, it was over. They hardly ever talked.
He wiped a tear. He wished it hadn't turned out this way. He wasn't sure if he loved her anymore. Or even if he did on the day they got married. What if Emma was the only reason they had gotten married? Rachel had meant the world to him since they were teenagers. She was this unattainable dream. When they finally did get together, it was the happiest time of his life. He had been devastated when they had broken up. What if that was it? Was that how it was supposed to end? Did they drag it to this point for no reason?
He had seen the love in Rachel's eyes before, but he seemed to have killed it.
****
Monica handed Rachel a tissue. Rachel had already gone through 3 boxes of tissues. Monica was glad Rachel had finally told her. She couldn't believe Rachel had kept it in for so long. As had her brother.
"Rach, do you want me to call Ross and tell him you'll be staying over?"
Rachel pondered it over. As tempting as it was, she couldn't do that to Emma. She had already missed the bedtime ritual. She couldn't not be there in the morning too.
Chandler spoke up. "I'll drop you as soon as it turns light."
That cinched it. She nodded gratefully. Monica went to the guestroom to get it set up.
Chandler stood awkwardly around Rachel. He couldn't believe the couple he had thought was perfect was over. He had always imagined them so happy. He was so caught up in his own happiness with Monica, he hadn't even realized. He hadn't known Ross was so unhappy. He started guiltily. His best friend had another failed marriage. Then he shook his head. What was he thinking! Ross didn't have to go through another divorce. Not while he could still help.
He walked over to Rachel. "Rach, I'm really sorry you had to go through all this. But…"
Rachel frowned. "But…what?"
"But you guys were so perfect together. Are you willing to throw it all away because you aren't getting along? Every marriage has its rough spots."
Monica walked in. What was her idiot husband on about? Didn't he hear a word of what Rachel had said?
Rachel was shaking her head. "I'm not throwing it away. I'm not leaving him."
Chandler grinned. Wow, he was better at this marriage counseling than he had thought.
Monica was unsure. She didn't want their marriage to end. But they were so unhappy. It really wasn't right.
"I'm staying with him because of Emma. She needs to have her parents together."
And that's when it hit Chandler. She didn't love Ross anymore. She was staying with Ross solely for her daughter's sake. He gave it one last shot. "This doesn't have anything to do with Joey, does it?"
Monica whacked him.
Rachel considered it. It didn't really. Joey's appearance had made her face up to reality. Her marriage was over. Had been for a long time. Joey made her remember the past. When life was so much better. When she was in love. The past was long gone. Her marriage was sham. And the thing was… it wasn't anyone's fault. Sure, it was easy to blame Ross. But it wasn't his fault, not really.
"No. It doesn't have a thing to with Joey. We just weren't meant to be."
****
Ross jumped at the sound of the phone.
"Hello?"
"Ross?"
"Rachel." He closed his eyes. "Where the hell are you? Do you have any clue how worried I was?"
"Sorry. I'm with Monica. I'm going to be staying here tonight. I'll be there tomorrow morning before Emma wakes up."
Ross was silent for some moments. "Alright. Goodnight."
"You too."
A click sounded in his ears. She had hung up. God, what was that? It sounded like a conversation between 2 strangers. They were never like this even when they had broken up. Sure, there was an initial awkwardness. But they'd gotten over it and become good friends again. He sighed. He seemed to have lost her friendship too.
****
Joey scowled. Who the hell would ring the bell at 1 a.m.? He stomped over to the door. He was going to give whoever it was a piece of his mind. He swung the door open.
His anger evaporated. "Rachel?"
Well, that's it for the fourth chapter. I'll get the next one up in a few hours or at the most, by tomorrow. So R & R, pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee!