Forgotten Pain
by: schu-chan
disclaimer: WeiB isn't mine... if they were, i wouldn't be broke now, would i?
Dedicated to SAILOR FORTUNE-SAN for the title!
NOTE: i refer to Aya-kun by his real name in this fic (as i always do), so if you don't know it and don't want to know, don't read it...
NOTE2: i don't know much about ken's past, only about the whole j-league thing... do we even ever really find out? i dunno, but if he DOES have a past that i should know about, someone tell me... i just wanna kno - im not going to change this fic or anything... ^__^
NOTE3: this might be a little depressing... and i noticed from previous reviews that this brought up some bad memories, kinda, i guess, ne? gomen-nasai!
REVIEW onegai... i felt sad at last chapter.... T.T
i hope you like this chapter! i think it's gonna be full of crappy sap... enjoy! ^__^
*thoughts*
//flashback//
~Chapter 3~
~*~*~*~*~*
Ken sat in the den, fidgeting under the scrutiny of his teammates. "Ken-kun, you have to tell us. Otherwise, we can't help you. You might get hysterical again."
Ken nodded and took a deep breath. Ran gave Ken a reassuring smile, earning him shocked looks from both Yohji and Omi.
*Time for you to tell them, Ken...* He took a deep breath. "When.... when I turned thirteen..." He paused. Yohji, Omi and Ran looked at him expectantly.
"On my thirteenth birthday, my dad picked me up from school... he had work usually, so I was always happy when he did so... I forgot totally that it was my birthday. He made me a nice dinner... let me taste wine... gave me a nice birthday gift...but... he also..."
Ken bit his lower lip, staring at the floor. "Ken?"
Ken took in a deep breath and pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He closed his eyes, putting his head in his arms.
Omi sat next to him, putting his arms around him. "Ken-kun... you don't have to tell us right now... you don't even need to tell us all at once... why don't you start by just telling Ran-kun?"
Ken gave Omi an appreciative smile but shook his head. "Iie... I trust all of you... I can do this..."
Omi nodded and Ken took in a deep breath. "My... father... he..."
Ken sighed, and he said softly, "He raped me..."
Ran and Yohji tilted their heads. They hadn't heard it because Ken had spoken too softly. Omi's eyes widened in shock and he threw his arms around Ken tightly. Omi looked up at Ran and Yohji, who looked at him quizzically. He indicated that he would tell them later.
"I... I never told anyone... It took me years to try to forget but... but... I hadn't forgotten; It'd just stayed buried in my memories... And it resurfaced when Ran and I were kissing... I... I don't know if I'll ever lose the fear of having sex with a guy..."
"Ken-kun, don't worry about that. Just focus on yourself... Ran-kun'll understand... Come on, let's get you to bed... I'll talk to Yohji-kun and Ran-kun."
Ken nodded.
~*~*~*~*~*
Yohji and Ran stared at Omi in shock. "Are... are you joking, Omi? This isn't something to joke about, you know!"
Omi glared at Yohji. "Yohji-kun! Do you REALLY think that I'd JOKE about something like THIS?! I'm serious! How could you think that I'd..."
Omi started crying. "Poor Ken-kun..."
"It's... because of me. I kissed him... that's what made him remember..."
Omi nodded. Ran sat down on the sofa, sighing. *You idiot! Why'd you have to take things so fast?!*
"Ran, it's not your fault." Ran looked up at Yohji with eyes full of pain. Yohji sighed and he sat down next to Ran. "Come on, Ran. You're smarter than that - if it's anyone's fault, it's Ken's dad's fault..."
"But... he wouldn't have resurfaced those memories if it wasn't for me..."
Yohji sighed again. "Oi, you're making me feel old, Ran. Just shut up and go up there to be supportive - don't let him know that you think it's your fault, Ran, he'll just feel bad about it."
~*~*~*~*~*
Ran silently stared at the sleeping figure. He gently touched Ken's cheek, frowning when Ken whimpered in his sleep. Ken's eyes suddenly opened and he turned to face the person touching him. Ken reached out, crying silently.
"Ran..."
"Yea, Ken?"
"Will... can you wait? I love you... And I'm thinking that you don't hate me, since you're here... But... it'll be a while before I can be physical with you, Ran..."
Ran gave him a soft smile. "I don't care if you ever have sex with me, Ken.... I just want you to love me the way I love you..."
"Thanks, Ran..." Ran grinned and gave him a smile. Ken stared at Ran... He'd never seen Ran... well.... he'd never seen Ran grin. "Is there something on my face?"
Ken blushed. "I-ie... I... I just... I've never seen you smile like that before..."
Ran gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Only you'll ever see me smile like that, Ken..."
Ken smiled. Ran leaned over to give him a hug but stopped when he saw Ken stiffen. Ran sighed and stood up.
"I'll go get some tea for you, Ken."
Ken nodded silently. *Baka... you know he wasn't going to do anything...*
*But I'm scared!*
*What're you so scared of?!*
*But, but...*
Ran was at the door when he saw Ken break down and cry. He turned and walked away, his heart telling him to go over there and comfort Ken while his head muttered that Ken'd only push him away...
TBC...
eh. R&R, onegai! and go read my other fics and review those, too! ^__^
AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE HAVING BAD MEMORIES AND STUFFS B/C OF THIS.... T.T