Gordo sat in the passenger's seat of Miranda's car, staring at the sunlit trees as they rushed past through the window. The two of them sat in an uncomfortable silence.

Miranda sighed. "I still can't believe I agreed to give you a ride," she said irritably. "I thought you were going to break up with Parker days ago?"

"I was," said Gordo. His stomach churned in that familiar way, the way it felt when he was trapped between feeling happy and feeling sad. "There was just a change in plans." Miranda gave him a disapproving glare. "Look, don't worry, I'm breaking it off with her after this weekend. Really, I am."

"Somehow I find it hard to trust you."

Gordo sighed. "Why do you even care so much?"

"I care because you're giving Lizzie, my best friend by the way, the total shaft." She turned the car and started to head up the long dirt road to the McKenzie's cabin.

Gordo glanced at Miranda, and then turned to look out the window. The sun was low in the sky, not far away from sunset, pouring gold through the trees. He ran his hands through his mess of curls. "I know. Lizzie doesn't deserve what I'm doing to her. I love her. But sometimes... it just seems like its too perfect. It's too sugarcoated and plastic. When I think of love and passion, I just don't think of Lizzie."

"Oh, boo-hoo," said Miranda harshly. "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Too perfect? Get over yourself, Gordo! Don't feed yourself all this philosophical bull shit just to make sense of your selfishness. You just want to keep Lizzie and get some action at the same time, and you know it."

He drew his eyes away from the window and looked at her, slightly angry. "Well, aren't those lovely sentiments? What do you want from me, Miranda? I'm human. I can't have the answers all the time. I can't always be perfect, okay? I can't always be perfect, and that's why this is killing me inside!" Miranda said nothing. Gordo reached over and placed his hand on her shoulder, softening his gaze and tone. "Look, when you came out this year, I wasn't exactly happy. I was a little freaked out, and I didn't really agree with what you were doing. But I was there for you. I supported you the whole way through, because I care about you. Is it too much for me to ask the same when I'm having my own little identity crisis?"

"That was different. I wasn't hurting anybody." Her voice was soft and defeated. There seemed to be nothing more either of them could say.

The McKenzies' cabin was extremely nice. Gordo stared up at it, impressed. He sometimes forgot how well off Parker's parents were whenever he was around her. She never acted like the rich spoiled type. Miranda pulled into the gravel driveway.

"Thanks again for the ride," said Gordo as he climbed out of the car.

Miranda nodded vaguely in response. As soon as he was out of the car, she tore out of the driveway. Gordo watched her go, feeling bad about the argument they'd had. He knew he wasn't doing the right thing, but at the same time he really didn't want to hurt anybody. Relax, he told himself. Just clear your mind and have a good weekend. Then you can work on making everything right again.

He walked up to the porch and knocked on the door. Wind chimes clanged as he waited. Parker came to the door, smiling when she saw Gordo. "Come on in," she said. "Get this... I've gone temporarily crazy and actually attempted to cook something."

Gordo laughed softly, and entered the lakeside cabin just as the sun began to sink into the water.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Parker giggled softly to herself as she lay sprawled across a quilt on her stomach. She held a stick with a marshmallow at the end of it and held it into the fireplace. She and Gordo had finished their meal and watched some independent film that Parker had picked out. It was nearing midnight, but neither of them were tired.

"What's so funny?" asked Gordo.

"I know this sounds weird, but... I've never made s'mores before," said Parker. She pulled her marshmallow out of the fire and blew out the flame.

Gordo laughed. "Are you serious?" Parker nodded. "How is that even possible? What childhood is complete without s'mores? Besides, don't you hippie types go camping all the time? How can you go camping and not make s'mores?"

She kicked him playfully as she sat up. She reached over and collected two graham crackers from the plate that sat between them. "I don't know, I've just never done it before. I guess s'mores were too normal for my parents. We'd always have things like sushi and fondue on our family camping trips." Gordo laughed again. Parker shook her head at him as she tried to pull the hot marshmallow from her stick and transfer it to the crackers. "Oh, sure, laugh all you want. But it's true." She grunted in dissatisfaction as she failed in removing the marshmallow. Instead, she had a sticky white mess all over her fingers. "Maybe my parents made the right decision after all. This s'mores thing is fucking crazy."

Gordo set down his own stick and slid over to assist Parker, laughing as he did so. "Don't be so quick to judge," he said, taking her graham crackers and grabbing a piece of chocolate. "You just need some practice." The two of them laughed as Gordo helped to scrape the marshmallow from her fingers and spread it on the crackers. He squished together the messy sandwich and fed it to Parker. "There. How's that?"

"It'sghhd," she said with her mouth full. She swallowed and looked at her fingers. "I'm still a little sticky though."

Gordo grinned and leaned forward, kissing her fingers and softly licking up the marshmallow.

"Oh. Well, there's a creative solution." Gordo stopped and looked at her. They watched each other for a moment, examining each of their faces as the fire lit them up. Gordo smiled to himself at how cute Parker looked with marshmallow smeared under her lip. He leaned forward and kissed her slowly.

Parker tossed the rest of her s'more onto the plate on the floor and slowly leaned backwards, until Gordo was on top of her as he kissed her. She ran her fingers through his hair, loving the comforting feeling of twisting her fingers through his familiar curls. Gordo's hands rested on her shoulders, his arms relaxed across her chest. The fire crackled and popped a few feet away, and the wind chimes could be heard clanging gently outside.

Gordo pulled away slowly, and looked at Parker as she rested beneath him and looked up into his eyes. Out of nowhere, Lizzie appeared in his head. He imagined that it was Lizzie he was holding in his arms, that it was Lizzie's kisses he needed so badly. He tried to think of what a weekend alone with Lizzie would be like. He looked down at Parker again, who was giving him a curious glance.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

"I'm thinking..." he began, his voice sounding slightly far away.

"Gordo? Gordo, what's wrong? Are you crying?" Parker was puzzled.

Indeed, Gordo's eyes were watering up. "I'm thinking that I love you."

Parker let out an annoyed sigh as she sat up, gently pushing Gordo off of her. "Gordo, we've been through this before..."

"No. No, okay? Why do you do that, Parker?" He wiped his eyes, choking back tears that desperately wanted to fall. "Why do you always throw it back in my face like that? You make it sound like those words don't mean anything. I mean them, Parker. This has been killing me for months now. Why won't you just let me say it? I love you." Parker cringed as he said the words again. Tears streamed quietly down Gordo's cheeks and his voice grew angry. "Why do you do this, Parker?! Don't you get it? There's no one else I would want to share this moment with but you! I fell in love with you, and all I've wanted for so long now was to tell you that, and all you ever do is shove it right back like it's nothing. Is that what I am to you, Parker? Nothing? Am I just a good screw? I bet you'd share this moment with anyone, wouldn't you? It doesn't matter, as long as Parker gets some, right?"

"Oh, how would you know?" she snapped. Unlike Gordo, her demeanor was much more composed and without emotion. "Listen to me when I tell you that YOU DON'T LOVE ME. I like you, Gordo. I like you alot. You're my best friend."

"Friend?" Gordo asked in disgust, his voice cracking.

"Yes, friend! Is that such a bad thing? Romance is a load of shit, Gordo. You should know that better than anyone, with your little fluffy-cake fairy tale girlfriend. You're smart, Gordo, so I thought you'd know that 'love' is just an over-budget movie with a crappy ending. Sure, the sex is great, but it's purely physical. Only fools attach emotion to it. I totally dig what I have with you, and I'm not going to blow it by playing along with your glossed-over delusion that you're in love with me. There's no such thing as love, all right? So don't waste your tears on me." Her last words had a biting harshness to them, but even as she spoke them, she could feel tears forming behind her own eyes. She swallowed hard.

Gordo stared into the fire, not daring to look Parker in the eye. Tears still poured, and he ached. "I love you"-- Those were supposed to be the magic words. He loved Parker, needed her, wanted her, was too scared to let go of her. It wasn't easy loving her. It wasn't easy to be around her and feel the way he felt, because he knew that somewhere else, Lizzie was loving and trusting him. "Just for fun"-- He wanted so badly to believe that what he had with Parker was just for fun, and that Lizzie was the real deal. Lizzie made sense. Loving Lizzie was always easy. Life with Lizzie was a perfect world, without the pain and confusion and torment that Parker brought.

He pulled his eyes away from the fire, and looked at Parker. She was staring at the floor. He reached out and took her hand. She still did not look up; she only gazed at their intertwined fingers. With Parker, things were anything but perfect. With Parker, there would always be hurting.

And he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he loved Parker more than he had ever loved anyone before.