As Long As He Draws Breath part 4
That night, Sam was trying to get some work done in his study, but he couldn't
seem to concentrate. His mind was filled up with the image of the small, sad
boy he'd met that day. The shaggy dark blond hair that fell in the child's
face couldn't hide those eyes that seemed way too world weary for someone who
couldn't be more than eleven or so. Sam wondered what put that look in his
eyes and made him flinch away in fear at Sam's slightest touch.
Maybe his parents had warned him against strangers, but Sam had tried not to
alarm him. He'd been coaching little league football for a little over a year
as a favor to a colleague who's son was on the team, and he'd grown to quite
enjoy it. He liked the children and he thought he had a good rapport with
them. So what was it? What had he done?
He shook his head briskly, as if snapping himself awake. *Back to work, Sam,*
he chided himself. *That boy is not your problem. You already have enough on
your plate.* He did. With a toddler son, and a newborn daughter of his own, a
wife that he was starting to feel distant from, a large caseload, plus his
little league duties, which he took very seriously, he had a lot to fill up
his thoughts. Why then did his mind keep jumping to that little boy? Something
about his sadness touched Sam in a way he never expected. No child that young
should look that sad. It just didn't seem right.
And not only that. There was the fact that he ran away when Sam asked him if
he wanted to join the team. That was odd since the longing was so clear in his
eyes. What stopped him?
Sam sighed and gathered his work together. It was clear that he wasn't going
to get a thing done. He might as well go to bed. He heard Lindsay calling him
from upstairs and he told her he was on his way up. He turned off the light
and started to close the door.
*Todd Manning,* he thought, *what is going on with you, pal?* As the door
clicked shut he found himself determined to find out.
The next day at practice, Sam kept one eye on his team and the other eye
toward the bleachers, hoping that Todd had changed his mind. A half hour later
there was still no sign of Todd and he had given up. With a whistle of
disappointment he shrugged.
*Well, that's that.* he thought. Or was it? He got an idea.
As the boys were about to leave the field to clean up and then get picked up
by their parents, or walk home in their own little groups, Sam stopped them
and asked them if anyone knew a kid named Todd Manning.
A few of them remembered him as the shy kid in their english and math classes.
A small, strawhaired boy named Jason had him in his last period social studies
class. He pointed Sam in the right direction and ran off to join his
teammates.
Sam arrived at the school the next day, about 10 minutes before the last bell.
He waited outside Todd's classroom. When the bell rang, the door opened and a
swarm of laughing children came bounding out the door. Sam didn't see Todd
among them and thought he must have gotten the wrong classroom. He started to
leave when a lone child shuffled out of the classroom. He didn't see Sam
standing beside the door as his eyes were pasted to the ground.
"Hi there!" Sam said brightly.
Todd started, as if suddenly forced awake from a drugged slumber. He backed
into the wall and uttered an "oof" as his small back connected with it. Then
he tried to run past Sam. Sam, quick as a flash grabbed his arm.
"Let go! Let go!" Todd cried, struggling against the bewildered coach.
"Whoa! Whoa! Slow down a minute! Hey! Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you.
Remember me? We met the other day. I'm Sam Rappapport. I coach here."
Todd stopped his struggles and stood still, widened eyes regarding Sam warily.
"Yeah...I remember."
"Good. I'm sorry I frightened you. I really didn't mean to. I just wanted to
talk to you for a minute, can I?"
"I can't. I have to go. My dad'll be mad if I'm late."
"Well, no problems there. How about I drive you home?"
The look of horror on Todd's face nearly knocked Sam off his feet. He was
truly taken aback. He never imagined a child could be so afraid of him. He
didn't know what he was doing wrong, or how to stop it. He began to think he'd
made a terrible mistake pursuing this. Maybe he should've just left it alone.
"I'm sorry, Todd," he said, "Your parents probably warned you a hundred times
about taking rides from strangers and we really don't know each other yet. I
probably scared you to death. That was pretty dumb, huh?"
Todd was still there, still looking at him, the nervous creases left his face
and the boyish smoothness was back. He smiled a little.
"That's okay. I know you didn't mean to. I'm sorry I--freaked out. It's just,
last time I was late getting home my dad...well, he got real mad."
"Well, I certainly don't want that. He might not let you join my team."
Todd started shaking his head. "I told you, Mr.--"
"Sam, just call me Sam. All the boys do. Well, that or Coach." Sam smiled
encouragingly and Todd had to fight to keep his own slight smile from widening
in response. That was the first adult who willingly offered his first name to
him. It made him feel good, sort of grown up, and he wanted very much to be
able to trust this man who had shown him so much kidness when he hardly knew
him.
Still, he had to make this man--Sam--understand that he couldn't join the
football team eventhough he wanted to more than anything in the world. His
father had been especially cranky the past week as an important business deal
fell through and Todd didn't want to get on his bad side if he could help it.
But Sam seemed pretty persistent and in spite of it all, Todd wanted to be
convinced, wanted to hope that maybe he could get his father to change his
mind. Maybe they both could.
"Sam," he began carefully, "I told you, my father won't let me join the team.
I already asked him and he'll be mad if I try to ask him again. He told me not
to."
"Well, you won't. I'll ask him for you. Let me come to your house and talk to
your dad. I'm told I can be very persuasive. I'm a lawyer after all, you know.
We argue for a living."
He smiled broadly, letting Todd know he was joking, but Todd didn't laugh or
even crack a smile. He was shaking his head again.
"Oh Todd, let me try. Normally, I would take you at your word, but I could see
how much you want to join the team, and I think you should get that chance.
Let me talk to your dad. If he says no, you're no worse off then you were
before.. Nothing to lose, pal."
*That's what you think,* Todd thought.
"No, you can't! My dad can't know I've been staying after school. I'm supposed
to be home right after every day. Please Sam, don't tell him!"
The panic in Todd's eyes alarmed Sam even futher and he set to calm him down.
"Don't worry. He won't know, at least not from me. I'll be real subtle, I
promise. I won't get you in trouble. What do you say?"
He smiled again and, after the stormy glares he'd been getting from his father
all week, it was like a soothing balm on Todd's soul. Todd thought for a
second. He might get in trouble, almost surely would, but then maybe, just
maybe, it would work. Sam seemed so sure and his surety was infectious. Still,
he was nervous about the whole thing. All he could give in the way of assent
was a quick shrug of his shoulders. That was all Sam needed.
"Great! You won't regret it, pal, I promise. I'm sure I'll be ordering a new
uniform soon. How about I come by around 8:00 tonight?"
"Okay." He wrote his address on a piece of notebook paper.
"Good. Now, I've kept you too long. You better scoot. I'll see you tonight,
okay?"
Todd nodded, grateful for Sam's understanding and headed home. He just hoped
that, for once, his father would be understanding too.
That night, Sam was trying to get some work done in his study, but he couldn't
seem to concentrate. His mind was filled up with the image of the small, sad
boy he'd met that day. The shaggy dark blond hair that fell in the child's
face couldn't hide those eyes that seemed way too world weary for someone who
couldn't be more than eleven or so. Sam wondered what put that look in his
eyes and made him flinch away in fear at Sam's slightest touch.
Maybe his parents had warned him against strangers, but Sam had tried not to
alarm him. He'd been coaching little league football for a little over a year
as a favor to a colleague who's son was on the team, and he'd grown to quite
enjoy it. He liked the children and he thought he had a good rapport with
them. So what was it? What had he done?
He shook his head briskly, as if snapping himself awake. *Back to work, Sam,*
he chided himself. *That boy is not your problem. You already have enough on
your plate.* He did. With a toddler son, and a newborn daughter of his own, a
wife that he was starting to feel distant from, a large caseload, plus his
little league duties, which he took very seriously, he had a lot to fill up
his thoughts. Why then did his mind keep jumping to that little boy? Something
about his sadness touched Sam in a way he never expected. No child that young
should look that sad. It just didn't seem right.
And not only that. There was the fact that he ran away when Sam asked him if
he wanted to join the team. That was odd since the longing was so clear in his
eyes. What stopped him?
Sam sighed and gathered his work together. It was clear that he wasn't going
to get a thing done. He might as well go to bed. He heard Lindsay calling him
from upstairs and he told her he was on his way up. He turned off the light
and started to close the door.
*Todd Manning,* he thought, *what is going on with you, pal?* As the door
clicked shut he found himself determined to find out.
The next day at practice, Sam kept one eye on his team and the other eye
toward the bleachers, hoping that Todd had changed his mind. A half hour later
there was still no sign of Todd and he had given up. With a whistle of
disappointment he shrugged.
*Well, that's that.* he thought. Or was it? He got an idea.
As the boys were about to leave the field to clean up and then get picked up
by their parents, or walk home in their own little groups, Sam stopped them
and asked them if anyone knew a kid named Todd Manning.
A few of them remembered him as the shy kid in their english and math classes.
A small, strawhaired boy named Jason had him in his last period social studies
class. He pointed Sam in the right direction and ran off to join his
teammates.
Sam arrived at the school the next day, about 10 minutes before the last bell.
He waited outside Todd's classroom. When the bell rang, the door opened and a
swarm of laughing children came bounding out the door. Sam didn't see Todd
among them and thought he must have gotten the wrong classroom. He started to
leave when a lone child shuffled out of the classroom. He didn't see Sam
standing beside the door as his eyes were pasted to the ground.
"Hi there!" Sam said brightly.
Todd started, as if suddenly forced awake from a drugged slumber. He backed
into the wall and uttered an "oof" as his small back connected with it. Then
he tried to run past Sam. Sam, quick as a flash grabbed his arm.
"Let go! Let go!" Todd cried, struggling against the bewildered coach.
"Whoa! Whoa! Slow down a minute! Hey! Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you.
Remember me? We met the other day. I'm Sam Rappapport. I coach here."
Todd stopped his struggles and stood still, widened eyes regarding Sam warily.
"Yeah...I remember."
"Good. I'm sorry I frightened you. I really didn't mean to. I just wanted to
talk to you for a minute, can I?"
"I can't. I have to go. My dad'll be mad if I'm late."
"Well, no problems there. How about I drive you home?"
The look of horror on Todd's face nearly knocked Sam off his feet. He was
truly taken aback. He never imagined a child could be so afraid of him. He
didn't know what he was doing wrong, or how to stop it. He began to think he'd
made a terrible mistake pursuing this. Maybe he should've just left it alone.
"I'm sorry, Todd," he said, "Your parents probably warned you a hundred times
about taking rides from strangers and we really don't know each other yet. I
probably scared you to death. That was pretty dumb, huh?"
Todd was still there, still looking at him, the nervous creases left his face
and the boyish smoothness was back. He smiled a little.
"That's okay. I know you didn't mean to. I'm sorry I--freaked out. It's just,
last time I was late getting home my dad...well, he got real mad."
"Well, I certainly don't want that. He might not let you join my team."
Todd started shaking his head. "I told you, Mr.--"
"Sam, just call me Sam. All the boys do. Well, that or Coach." Sam smiled
encouragingly and Todd had to fight to keep his own slight smile from widening
in response. That was the first adult who willingly offered his first name to
him. It made him feel good, sort of grown up, and he wanted very much to be
able to trust this man who had shown him so much kidness when he hardly knew
him.
Still, he had to make this man--Sam--understand that he couldn't join the
football team eventhough he wanted to more than anything in the world. His
father had been especially cranky the past week as an important business deal
fell through and Todd didn't want to get on his bad side if he could help it.
But Sam seemed pretty persistent and in spite of it all, Todd wanted to be
convinced, wanted to hope that maybe he could get his father to change his
mind. Maybe they both could.
"Sam," he began carefully, "I told you, my father won't let me join the team.
I already asked him and he'll be mad if I try to ask him again. He told me not
to."
"Well, you won't. I'll ask him for you. Let me come to your house and talk to
your dad. I'm told I can be very persuasive. I'm a lawyer after all, you know.
We argue for a living."
He smiled broadly, letting Todd know he was joking, but Todd didn't laugh or
even crack a smile. He was shaking his head again.
"Oh Todd, let me try. Normally, I would take you at your word, but I could see
how much you want to join the team, and I think you should get that chance.
Let me talk to your dad. If he says no, you're no worse off then you were
before.. Nothing to lose, pal."
*That's what you think,* Todd thought.
"No, you can't! My dad can't know I've been staying after school. I'm supposed
to be home right after every day. Please Sam, don't tell him!"
The panic in Todd's eyes alarmed Sam even futher and he set to calm him down.
"Don't worry. He won't know, at least not from me. I'll be real subtle, I
promise. I won't get you in trouble. What do you say?"
He smiled again and, after the stormy glares he'd been getting from his father
all week, it was like a soothing balm on Todd's soul. Todd thought for a
second. He might get in trouble, almost surely would, but then maybe, just
maybe, it would work. Sam seemed so sure and his surety was infectious. Still,
he was nervous about the whole thing. All he could give in the way of assent
was a quick shrug of his shoulders. That was all Sam needed.
"Great! You won't regret it, pal, I promise. I'm sure I'll be ordering a new
uniform soon. How about I come by around 8:00 tonight?"
"Okay." He wrote his address on a piece of notebook paper.
"Good. Now, I've kept you too long. You better scoot. I'll see you tonight,
okay?"
Todd nodded, grateful for Sam's understanding and headed home. He just hoped
that, for once, his father would be understanding too.