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I knew…knew that someday it would come to this. I knew, and yet I did nothing about it whatsoever. I allowed my own mother to be severely injured, because I was lazy and did nothing. Now more than ever I know that there is no one to blame but myself for what's happened, my mother and father were wrong, so wrong to blame themselves. I sat around scratching my ass while my mother slaved away in her lab, barely sleeping and letting her relationship with my father rot. For his part, my father just added it to his list of unknown guilts and horrors that already weighed down his conscience, a heavy load that I never wished to be placed upon his shoulders.
And now Bra, and Goten, have almost no future to look forward to, only darkness. In that moment when I lunged for my mother without any control, in that moment I knew what it was to be truly terrified. And to have such a horrible fear of one's own self is even more awful. I don't think I will ever forget that feeling, but I suppose it doesn't matter now, not anymore. I won't have to live with that memory for much longer.
But there are things to be done in what time I have left. Things most important to the survival of my family, and the survival of hope. Hope seems to be a sought after but never fully obtained object for both me and my future self, destiny perhaps? I've never given true thought to destiny, but I still cannot see good stemming from this event. Of course my views are hardly objective, but could you really expect me to search for the silver lining in such a thing? It would only benefit others, but then, isn't that what I'm seeking to do now?
For the past months I've kept one capsule on me at all, and I mean all times. It contains two things…one that I added only recently. Firstly, my mother's dragon radar, which I will be putting to use immediately. And secondly, something my mom likes to call a ki catcher, an invention of hers with its own unique story.
She started out making a 'dream catcher' for my father, like those little spider-web ornaments you can get at novelty shops. Well, at least something along the same lines. She started the project in response to his recurring nightmares, which left him more than shaken up, even into the following day. Anyhow, she attatched the thing to his temple come night fall, and he slept peacefully, or so she thought. Come morning, he was comatose, and the thing was glowing with his ki. Three days later he woke up, and to this day the thing still would have been infused with his ki had my mother not destroyed it. She tried a few more times, thinking that perhaps the first one had just been miswired. Not so. Turns out the thing was actually drawing his energy in, leaving him so weak that he fell into a deep sleep to make up for the lack of energy. She shelfed the project, and eventually he must have quieted his inner demons a bit, because my mother never spoke of it again. It would serve a much different purpose now.
I let all troubling thoughts drift away, focusing my mind on the feeling of flight, to this day I am still absolutely enthralled by the experience. I close my eyes and let the cool air caress my moving body, occasionally the air turned warm as I passed through a thermal. Opening my eyes again, I lethargically looked for a nice spot in which to reside for the next few days, and settle on a small clearing on a hillside with a small stream running around one side. Perfect. Setting down softly, I took in my surroundings from this new angle. Varous pine and oak trees surround the area in a seclusive curtain, and pine needles form a soft groundcover that is quiet to walk upon. I taste the stream, finding it refreshingly crisp and clean, and also very cold.
Seating myself on a nearby rock, I force myself to contemplate what to do next. I suppose gathering the dragonballs is in order, before I can get onto other matters.
Attaching the ki catcher to my wrist, I turn it on for a few short moments, and feel my energy immediately begin to drain. My vision blurs, and I quickly disengage the tiny machine before I pass out. Leaving it in my clearing, I take off, grateful that I can still sense the tiny beacon of energy as I gain altitude. Pulling the dragon radar back out, I let it take its census of the surrounding area, directing me south-west towards the ocean. Freaking outstanding, figures the first one would be there. Gathering air into my lungs, I dive in, glad for the new edition of the dragon radar, the one that's waterproof to two miles down. Holding my breath proves to be no problem, though finidng the ball is. With a start I realize that the ball is--moving. Gods, please don't let this thing be in--the radar leads me to a large fish, obviously not feeling well.
Damn.This is really, really not my day.
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It's been nearly a week since Trunks left, and the mood has been melancholy to say the least. My dad has been informed of the situation more or less, and the Briefs have invited me to stay with them until things have reached some form of a conclusion. Vegeta has gone to see Trunks on a few occasions, and reports that while he's still depressed, he's alive and well. The dragon (which Bulma told me about) was summoned at one point, and Mrs. Briefs looks ten years younger. Well, she appears to be the same age as her husband, who still appears to be not a day over thirty.
In short, neither one looks old enough to be Trunks' parent.
I know…know that I need to tell them about my pregnancy, and very soon. I've put it off so long, too long. Gods, has it only been a week? It feels like years. Sometimes, I dream about him returning home, claiming that he's fully cured, and we live our lives together, raising the baby and living happily. Other times he comes back with the same claim, only to go insane and slaughter all of us. Those are the dreams that make me afraid to sleep, that leave me in a cold sweat and wishing mightily that I was in his arms.
His words come back to me, like sweet honey, a devoted promise. "I won't leave you alone." I shuddered involuntarily, finally understanding the full meaning of those words. Oh Trunks, I had so hoped you meant that you would stay with me always, but now I see your promise is fulfilled in our child, for surely she'll be with me. Tears rise unbidden in my throat, and I squeeze my eyes shut to hold them off.
Sometimes, I dream that he comes back to say goodbye, and somehow it's the worst dream of them all.
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