Title: I'm Not Leaving, You Are- chapter 1
Disclaimer: Don't own anyone from Third Watch.
Summary: What if things had gone differently at the hospital?
Author's note: I needed a break from my other story, and this is a lot
lighter. Kinda corny, but all good romances are. Right? ;) Enjoy!
"I'm sorry, but we're really only supposed to allow one visitor back at a time," the nurse came into Jimmy's room and announced.
"Sure, of course," answered Kim blankly. The nurse's words rang hollow in her ears and it registered in her mind that Brooke was looking at her to leave. Leaving was the last thing on earth that she wanted to do, but what right did she have to stay?
Kim shook herself out of her momentary stupor and plastered a smile on her face. "I'll bring Joey by tomorrow," she told Jimmy. She noticed his head shake and he mouthed the word 'no', begging her not to go. Kim tore her gaze away from Jimmy before she did something stupid. "Call, if you need anything," Kim smiled at Brooke. She took one last glance at the couple and walked out of the room.
Jimmy was vaguely aware that Brooke was talking to him, but was to focused on what had just happened. He had spent the better part of the day trying to convince Kim that he was still in love with her. Up until she fled the room, he thought he might have finally gotten through to her. He had silently begged for her not to go, but she had ignored his plead. Now, he laid there, listening to Brooke fuss over him, wishing it was someone else.
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Kim sat in the waiting room with the dwindling group of people here for Jimmy and the others. She reported to everyone that Jimmy was awake, and in pain, but would be all right. There was a sigh of relief for a moment, but everyone soon resumed their worried stance for the others.
Kim absentmindedly played with Joey's hair as he continued to sleep. Her mind flashed back to Jimmy's eyes, pleading with her not to go. Well what did he expect her to do? Look at Brooke and tell her she refused to leave? I don't think so!
"So, how did it really go?" asked Bobby, handing Kim her millionth cup of coffee that night.
Kim chuckled nervously and averted her eyes, taking a big gulp of scalding hot coffee that caused her to wince and concentrate on not spewing it all over Joey. "I told you, he's in a lot of pain, but he should be ok," she lisped, her tongue numb from being burnt.
Bobby gave her that look. The one that told her he knew she was hiding something, and he was determined to get the truth out of her. That look. Kim glanced at him from the corner of her eye, sighed, and looked at him. "What?" she whined, silently begging him to leave it alone.
"I saw Brooke go in there," he shrugged, "how was that."
Kim said nothing, but the frown that tempted to cave her face in, spoke for her. Bobby bit his bottom lip and tried not to smirk. The minute she had walked out of Jimmy's room, he could tell she was unbelievably jealous.
"Kim-"
"Well what the hell did he expect me to do?! What?! Was I supposed to just look at Brooke and say 'I'm sorry. I'm not leaving, you are'? I mean, it's not like he couldn't say anything. In fact he should have! If he really wanted me to stay, he could have told her to take a flyin' leap and get lost! But no! All he did was lay there and look at me with those big brown eyes like I'm the one who's supposed to do something. Real nice way of letting me know he really wants to get back together. And you know, in a few days, he won't even remember that he cheated on his girlfriend with his ex-wife that he supposedly wants back. He'll just go back to screwing her and leave me looking like an idiot!"
Bobby just stared at her, not sure what to say. He had to say something though. It looked like her head was gonna explode. At least they were at the hospital. "Kim-"
"And you know what, it wouldn't have been worth the humiliation. I would have put myself on the line like I always do with him and he would find some way to screw me over again. Oh sure, it would have lasted a while, but then the novelty would have worn off and he would see that he's not interested in being a family guy, and I would be crazy in love with him again, and he would leave to sleep with some 18 year old virgin, leaving me to pick up the pieces of my heart, and Joey's, let's not forget that!" Kim rambled on.
"And for what? All because we miss shaking up with each other and-"
"KIM!!" Bobby yelled, finally stopping her endless diatribe. "I was just gonna say you spilt your coffee and instead I got the saga of Jimmy and Kim, part one million!" Bobby shook his head and stalked away.
Kim looked down at her jacket and saw the puddle of cold coffee sitting there, her hand clenching the empty cup in a death grip. God, what a spaz. Can't even feel when you've got coffee all over your hand. Kim quickly glanced at Joey, hoping her rant hadn't woken up her son. Joey continued to sleep peacefully, blissfully unaware that his mother was losing her mind.
"Here," Bobby offered Kim some paper towels.
Kim sopped up the mess and threw it in the trash. She resumed her seat next to Bobby and looked at him sheepishly. "I didn't mean to lose it on you."
Bobby chuckled and put his arm around her, pulling her close. "So, I'm guessing you have some pent up frustrations about Jimmy. That's new," Bobby smirked.
"Is it that obvious?" Kim asked and chuckled, feeling like a complete loser. She sighed and looked at Bobby. "It would be a really bad idea to go back in there, but for some reason, that's all I wanna do. Pretty stupid, huh?"
Bobby cocked his head to the side, "What do you think Jimmy really wants?"
"Part of me thinks this is just his knee-jerk reaction to getting engaged. He did say he was afraid. Maybe I'm just some sort of safety net for him," Kim said softly, feeling the tears gather in her eyes.
"Or maybe, you two bone heads might actually love each other and you need to meet him halfway. He put himself out there Kim, maybe you should give it a chance," Bobby said.
Kim smiled softly, " I never thought I would hear the day where you'd tell me to give Jimmy Doherty another chance."
Bobby sighed and rubbed his face, "That makes two of us." They stayed in silence for a while until he broke it. "So. What are you gonna do?"
Kim bit her nails nervously, knowing the lining in her stomach was disappearing as she sat there. Why did Jimmy always have this effect on her?
"I can take Joey to your place and stay with him tonight and drop him off at Katherine's in the morning," Bobby offered, looking amused at the panicked look on her face.
"What if it doesn't work out again? What if he ends up hurting me again?," Kim asked softly.
"What if he really is serious and does still love you?" Bobby posed the question. "You'll never know if you don't go back in there.
Kim wiped the tears off her face, stood and adjusted her clothes. She ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. This was not gonna be pretty.
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Kim peeked through the glass in the door to see Brooke and Jimmy. Brooke sat next to his bed in a chair and held his hand while she talked to him. Jimmy's eyes were closed, but he had a smile on his face. 'Oh god. This is a really bad idea,' thought Kim. They looked so happy in there, basking in each others presence. Ok, maybe not that happy, considering he just got shot, but as much as the situation would allow, they looked happy.
Kim thought a minute. She had been so focused on why Jimmy was supposedly in love with her again, she hadn't stopped to think what she was really feeling. Was he a safety net for her too? Was this her reaction to finding out he was engaged? Kim turned and started to walk away, but she stopped. So what if she was his safety net and he was hers? Everyone needs a place where they feel safe, and despite all the crap that had happened between them, she did feel safe with him. Maybe not completely with her heart, but he was home to her.
Kim turned back around and prepared herself for world war three. She raked her hand through her hair again and put her hand on the knob.
"Miss?"
Kim nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the voice. She quickly turned around and saw the nurse standing there. "Hey. How's it goin'?" Kim smiled nervously.
The nurse raised an eyebrow, "Miss, you know there's only supposed to be one visitor at a time," she stated.
"Nurse, can I see you for a minute?" Nurse Proctor called after her. The nurse looked momentarily confused, but left Kim standing there. She mouthed 'thank you' to a smiling Proctor, who gave her a thumbs up. How she had known, Kim had no idea.
Kim took a breath and gently turned the knob on the door quietly. She slipped inside and silently closed the door. "Kim?" she heard Jimmy ask. So much for the element of surprise.
Kim nervously played with her hands and gave a little wave to a shocked Jimmy and Brooke. She cleared her throat and inched forward a little. " I just wanted to see if you were still ok," Kim smiled nervously, blocking out Brooke's burning gaze. This wasn't about her, this was about Jimmy.
Jimmy looked sufficiently surprised, " I thought you would have taken Joey home by now," he forced out, at a loss for words. What was she doing here?
"Oh, well, Bobby took him for the night," Kim tried to keep the shaking out of her voice. There was a deafening silence that made Kim want to scream. Or run. Or both.
"Don't you think you should be at home with him," Brooke suggested, trying to get her out of the room.
Kim pulled her eyes away from Jimmy to look at her and took a deep breath. "Probably, but I'm here," Kim breathed out.
Just as she was going to launch into her speech, the evil nurse came in. "Folks, I'm sorry, but the hospital has rules about too many people being in a room at once. One of you will have to go," she stated.
"Right away, nurse. She was just leaving," Brooke spoke up.
Kim shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat nervously, "I don't know you very well, but I like you, so I don't want you to think this is about you, but I'm not leaving, you are," she choked out in a shaky voice.
The nurse's eyes widened. Was she going to have to call security? Brooke looked stunned at Kim's statement and looked to Jimmy for help. "Jimmy, I think you should tell her to go," she said, trying to stay calm.
Jimmy just stared at Kim. She had actually come back to fight for him. A small smile graced his lips. He could see that Kim was scared out of her mind, but she had come back, and that was all the green light he needed. His smile started to become slightly goofy, and Kim quirked and eyebrow and returned his smile. He almost laughed when he saw her fold her arms across her chest, a sign she wasn't budging.
"Why are you looking at her like that?" Brooke whispered loudly, her calm rapidly deteriorating.
Jimmy tore his gaze away from Kim to look at her. His smile faded and he took her hand. He really didn't want to hurt her, but he had to take this opportunity. "Brooke, I'm so sorry to do this to you, but I don't have a choice. I love her."
Kim's arms dropped and she lost her cocky attitude. Was he really serious? Was he really going to break up with his fiancé for her? Kim watched as Brooke started to cry while Jimmy quietly whispered to her. Yes. Yes he was. Kim's eyes filled.
Kim stepped aside as Brooke rushed past her and watched as the nurse, who had tears in her eyes also, gave her a small smile and said, "Stay as long as you want."
Kim smiled and slowly walked over to Jimmy. Jimmy had tears in his eyes too; the whole thing had turned into a sob-fest. Kim nervously wrung her hands together and looked at his chest, not able to meet his tear-filled eyes. "Jimmy, I'm really sorry if I screwed everything up for you, but I was sitting out there, trying to leave and all I could think about was how I'm the one that should be sitting next to your bed. I'm the one who should be holding your hand. How I'm the one who should help you get through all this, but if you want me to leave, I'll understand. I could probably catch up with her," she choked out. Jimmy just looked at her and she misread his silence and turned to leave.
"I love you, Kimmy. I love you so much," he rasped out, his voice hoarse with emotion.
Of course those words were her downfall, and she began to cry in earnest. She sat in the chair Brooke had been sitting in and laid her head next to his on his pillow. Jimmy nuzzled her head and squeezed her hand, whispering comforting words in her ear. Damn his lack of strength. He wanted so much to hold her.
After she calmed she raised her tear-stained face to look at him. She gently ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him softly on the mouth. "I love you too," she whispered and laid her head gently on his chest, careful not to hurt him.
They laid there in blissful silence, Jimmy stroking her hair, Kim listening to the steady beat of his heart. "What made you come back?" Jimmy asked softly.
"Bobby," Kim smiled at the thought.
"Bobby?" Jimmy asked surprised. "Bobby Caffey?"
Kim lifted her head to look at him and smiled. "The one and only."
"I thought he hated me," Jimmy stated.
"He does. But he cares about me," Kim smiled.
Jimmy chuckled and winced in pain. Kim sat up and held his hand until it passed. "Do you want me to get the doctor?" she asked, worried.
The pain subsided but Jimmy kept his eyes closed, suddenly feeling very tired. "No.. just need you," he smiled, falling asleep.
Kim kissed his forehead, "Sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake up."
"I'm sorry, but we're really only supposed to allow one visitor back at a time," the nurse came into Jimmy's room and announced.
"Sure, of course," answered Kim blankly. The nurse's words rang hollow in her ears and it registered in her mind that Brooke was looking at her to leave. Leaving was the last thing on earth that she wanted to do, but what right did she have to stay?
Kim shook herself out of her momentary stupor and plastered a smile on her face. "I'll bring Joey by tomorrow," she told Jimmy. She noticed his head shake and he mouthed the word 'no', begging her not to go. Kim tore her gaze away from Jimmy before she did something stupid. "Call, if you need anything," Kim smiled at Brooke. She took one last glance at the couple and walked out of the room.
Jimmy was vaguely aware that Brooke was talking to him, but was to focused on what had just happened. He had spent the better part of the day trying to convince Kim that he was still in love with her. Up until she fled the room, he thought he might have finally gotten through to her. He had silently begged for her not to go, but she had ignored his plead. Now, he laid there, listening to Brooke fuss over him, wishing it was someone else.
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Kim sat in the waiting room with the dwindling group of people here for Jimmy and the others. She reported to everyone that Jimmy was awake, and in pain, but would be all right. There was a sigh of relief for a moment, but everyone soon resumed their worried stance for the others.
Kim absentmindedly played with Joey's hair as he continued to sleep. Her mind flashed back to Jimmy's eyes, pleading with her not to go. Well what did he expect her to do? Look at Brooke and tell her she refused to leave? I don't think so!
"So, how did it really go?" asked Bobby, handing Kim her millionth cup of coffee that night.
Kim chuckled nervously and averted her eyes, taking a big gulp of scalding hot coffee that caused her to wince and concentrate on not spewing it all over Joey. "I told you, he's in a lot of pain, but he should be ok," she lisped, her tongue numb from being burnt.
Bobby gave her that look. The one that told her he knew she was hiding something, and he was determined to get the truth out of her. That look. Kim glanced at him from the corner of her eye, sighed, and looked at him. "What?" she whined, silently begging him to leave it alone.
"I saw Brooke go in there," he shrugged, "how was that."
Kim said nothing, but the frown that tempted to cave her face in, spoke for her. Bobby bit his bottom lip and tried not to smirk. The minute she had walked out of Jimmy's room, he could tell she was unbelievably jealous.
"Kim-"
"Well what the hell did he expect me to do?! What?! Was I supposed to just look at Brooke and say 'I'm sorry. I'm not leaving, you are'? I mean, it's not like he couldn't say anything. In fact he should have! If he really wanted me to stay, he could have told her to take a flyin' leap and get lost! But no! All he did was lay there and look at me with those big brown eyes like I'm the one who's supposed to do something. Real nice way of letting me know he really wants to get back together. And you know, in a few days, he won't even remember that he cheated on his girlfriend with his ex-wife that he supposedly wants back. He'll just go back to screwing her and leave me looking like an idiot!"
Bobby just stared at her, not sure what to say. He had to say something though. It looked like her head was gonna explode. At least they were at the hospital. "Kim-"
"And you know what, it wouldn't have been worth the humiliation. I would have put myself on the line like I always do with him and he would find some way to screw me over again. Oh sure, it would have lasted a while, but then the novelty would have worn off and he would see that he's not interested in being a family guy, and I would be crazy in love with him again, and he would leave to sleep with some 18 year old virgin, leaving me to pick up the pieces of my heart, and Joey's, let's not forget that!" Kim rambled on.
"And for what? All because we miss shaking up with each other and-"
"KIM!!" Bobby yelled, finally stopping her endless diatribe. "I was just gonna say you spilt your coffee and instead I got the saga of Jimmy and Kim, part one million!" Bobby shook his head and stalked away.
Kim looked down at her jacket and saw the puddle of cold coffee sitting there, her hand clenching the empty cup in a death grip. God, what a spaz. Can't even feel when you've got coffee all over your hand. Kim quickly glanced at Joey, hoping her rant hadn't woken up her son. Joey continued to sleep peacefully, blissfully unaware that his mother was losing her mind.
"Here," Bobby offered Kim some paper towels.
Kim sopped up the mess and threw it in the trash. She resumed her seat next to Bobby and looked at him sheepishly. "I didn't mean to lose it on you."
Bobby chuckled and put his arm around her, pulling her close. "So, I'm guessing you have some pent up frustrations about Jimmy. That's new," Bobby smirked.
"Is it that obvious?" Kim asked and chuckled, feeling like a complete loser. She sighed and looked at Bobby. "It would be a really bad idea to go back in there, but for some reason, that's all I wanna do. Pretty stupid, huh?"
Bobby cocked his head to the side, "What do you think Jimmy really wants?"
"Part of me thinks this is just his knee-jerk reaction to getting engaged. He did say he was afraid. Maybe I'm just some sort of safety net for him," Kim said softly, feeling the tears gather in her eyes.
"Or maybe, you two bone heads might actually love each other and you need to meet him halfway. He put himself out there Kim, maybe you should give it a chance," Bobby said.
Kim smiled softly, " I never thought I would hear the day where you'd tell me to give Jimmy Doherty another chance."
Bobby sighed and rubbed his face, "That makes two of us." They stayed in silence for a while until he broke it. "So. What are you gonna do?"
Kim bit her nails nervously, knowing the lining in her stomach was disappearing as she sat there. Why did Jimmy always have this effect on her?
"I can take Joey to your place and stay with him tonight and drop him off at Katherine's in the morning," Bobby offered, looking amused at the panicked look on her face.
"What if it doesn't work out again? What if he ends up hurting me again?," Kim asked softly.
"What if he really is serious and does still love you?" Bobby posed the question. "You'll never know if you don't go back in there.
Kim wiped the tears off her face, stood and adjusted her clothes. She ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. This was not gonna be pretty.
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Kim peeked through the glass in the door to see Brooke and Jimmy. Brooke sat next to his bed in a chair and held his hand while she talked to him. Jimmy's eyes were closed, but he had a smile on his face. 'Oh god. This is a really bad idea,' thought Kim. They looked so happy in there, basking in each others presence. Ok, maybe not that happy, considering he just got shot, but as much as the situation would allow, they looked happy.
Kim thought a minute. She had been so focused on why Jimmy was supposedly in love with her again, she hadn't stopped to think what she was really feeling. Was he a safety net for her too? Was this her reaction to finding out he was engaged? Kim turned and started to walk away, but she stopped. So what if she was his safety net and he was hers? Everyone needs a place where they feel safe, and despite all the crap that had happened between them, she did feel safe with him. Maybe not completely with her heart, but he was home to her.
Kim turned back around and prepared herself for world war three. She raked her hand through her hair again and put her hand on the knob.
"Miss?"
Kim nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the voice. She quickly turned around and saw the nurse standing there. "Hey. How's it goin'?" Kim smiled nervously.
The nurse raised an eyebrow, "Miss, you know there's only supposed to be one visitor at a time," she stated.
"Nurse, can I see you for a minute?" Nurse Proctor called after her. The nurse looked momentarily confused, but left Kim standing there. She mouthed 'thank you' to a smiling Proctor, who gave her a thumbs up. How she had known, Kim had no idea.
Kim took a breath and gently turned the knob on the door quietly. She slipped inside and silently closed the door. "Kim?" she heard Jimmy ask. So much for the element of surprise.
Kim nervously played with her hands and gave a little wave to a shocked Jimmy and Brooke. She cleared her throat and inched forward a little. " I just wanted to see if you were still ok," Kim smiled nervously, blocking out Brooke's burning gaze. This wasn't about her, this was about Jimmy.
Jimmy looked sufficiently surprised, " I thought you would have taken Joey home by now," he forced out, at a loss for words. What was she doing here?
"Oh, well, Bobby took him for the night," Kim tried to keep the shaking out of her voice. There was a deafening silence that made Kim want to scream. Or run. Or both.
"Don't you think you should be at home with him," Brooke suggested, trying to get her out of the room.
Kim pulled her eyes away from Jimmy to look at her and took a deep breath. "Probably, but I'm here," Kim breathed out.
Just as she was going to launch into her speech, the evil nurse came in. "Folks, I'm sorry, but the hospital has rules about too many people being in a room at once. One of you will have to go," she stated.
"Right away, nurse. She was just leaving," Brooke spoke up.
Kim shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat nervously, "I don't know you very well, but I like you, so I don't want you to think this is about you, but I'm not leaving, you are," she choked out in a shaky voice.
The nurse's eyes widened. Was she going to have to call security? Brooke looked stunned at Kim's statement and looked to Jimmy for help. "Jimmy, I think you should tell her to go," she said, trying to stay calm.
Jimmy just stared at Kim. She had actually come back to fight for him. A small smile graced his lips. He could see that Kim was scared out of her mind, but she had come back, and that was all the green light he needed. His smile started to become slightly goofy, and Kim quirked and eyebrow and returned his smile. He almost laughed when he saw her fold her arms across her chest, a sign she wasn't budging.
"Why are you looking at her like that?" Brooke whispered loudly, her calm rapidly deteriorating.
Jimmy tore his gaze away from Kim to look at her. His smile faded and he took her hand. He really didn't want to hurt her, but he had to take this opportunity. "Brooke, I'm so sorry to do this to you, but I don't have a choice. I love her."
Kim's arms dropped and she lost her cocky attitude. Was he really serious? Was he really going to break up with his fiancé for her? Kim watched as Brooke started to cry while Jimmy quietly whispered to her. Yes. Yes he was. Kim's eyes filled.
Kim stepped aside as Brooke rushed past her and watched as the nurse, who had tears in her eyes also, gave her a small smile and said, "Stay as long as you want."
Kim smiled and slowly walked over to Jimmy. Jimmy had tears in his eyes too; the whole thing had turned into a sob-fest. Kim nervously wrung her hands together and looked at his chest, not able to meet his tear-filled eyes. "Jimmy, I'm really sorry if I screwed everything up for you, but I was sitting out there, trying to leave and all I could think about was how I'm the one that should be sitting next to your bed. I'm the one who should be holding your hand. How I'm the one who should help you get through all this, but if you want me to leave, I'll understand. I could probably catch up with her," she choked out. Jimmy just looked at her and she misread his silence and turned to leave.
"I love you, Kimmy. I love you so much," he rasped out, his voice hoarse with emotion.
Of course those words were her downfall, and she began to cry in earnest. She sat in the chair Brooke had been sitting in and laid her head next to his on his pillow. Jimmy nuzzled her head and squeezed her hand, whispering comforting words in her ear. Damn his lack of strength. He wanted so much to hold her.
After she calmed she raised her tear-stained face to look at him. She gently ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him softly on the mouth. "I love you too," she whispered and laid her head gently on his chest, careful not to hurt him.
They laid there in blissful silence, Jimmy stroking her hair, Kim listening to the steady beat of his heart. "What made you come back?" Jimmy asked softly.
"Bobby," Kim smiled at the thought.
"Bobby?" Jimmy asked surprised. "Bobby Caffey?"
Kim lifted her head to look at him and smiled. "The one and only."
"I thought he hated me," Jimmy stated.
"He does. But he cares about me," Kim smiled.
Jimmy chuckled and winced in pain. Kim sat up and held his hand until it passed. "Do you want me to get the doctor?" she asked, worried.
The pain subsided but Jimmy kept his eyes closed, suddenly feeling very tired. "No.. just need you," he smiled, falling asleep.
Kim kissed his forehead, "Sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake up."