A/N: Sorry for the lack of note-age in the last chapter; I decided to shout
out all together in here because I posted two chapters in the same day. I
amaze myself, I really do lol. So much excess inspiration... I almost don't
want to end it! But I know how I'm writing everything from here to the end
*sob* so it is promised I WILL FINISH. And then I have no idea what I'm
going to do. Probably not write fan fics mainly, but start writing more
original fiction. I still have to think of something.any particular
characters you want me to write about, tell me! I'll try to work it in.
Anyway, let us continue to my FAVORITE CHAPTER!! EEK!!
Baby-Angel aka Lala: Ah, yes, my question lovie. This should answer most of your questions, and no, Lizzie does not love Larry, as the rest of us do ::looks at Amy:: hem. Thank you MUCHO for your reviews, let me count them..::excitement:: FIVE. YOU GET A NAME. okay, okay, think-age..YOU ARE NOW..GROOVY TEAL PUMPS. Ooh, I like! Well, question lovie, thank you again!
Keeponwritin: Ooh, look, my groovy aquamarine sandal friend! Thank you for SIX FABULOUS REVIEWS...you rock the monkey house! I hope you like this chapter, I do!!!
Love-fool: I like green too! I'm glad you like your special name. Remember: we are all shoes at heart. I heart you MUCHO. Kisses! Thank you! I know you are writing one about Parker, because you're a hipperdoodle. And hipperdoodles have responsibilities to write groovy fan fics. Look! ANOTHER CHAPTER. READ IT.
Keeponwritin: Heh, Heh. You get TWO notes. Look! It's because I love you bunches. And stuff. And more stuff. And...yes. I love you. Um. I ran out of things to say ::gasp:: CALL THE NEWSPAPERS!!!
Caley: Did you hear that guys??? SHE LOVES IT! I HAVE A FAN. OOH I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU ALL. I WANT TO MARRY YOU ALL..and Gordo. I want to marry him more, I'm sorry. It's the eyes and the..well, you get the picture. Anyway, thank you much, my newbie friend! I love the name too; amazing I finally decided on one.
Alastar: Intense is good..right?? I hope. But, anyway, thanks bunches for reviewing, and I'm sorry to hear that about your friend. Are they okay???
Nahima Tala: ::balloons fall from the ceilings and confetti waves:: This. Is. Your. Fifth. Review. I know, because I've been keeping track of you, Hun. You're one of my favorites. You were my FIRST review. You rock some bad ass monkeys, dear, and that's why you DESERVE this award! You are now.::thinks of special name:: GROOVY PURPLE BOOT. Ooh, I like THAT one. Kisses and thank you!! And you are truly a mind reader. You'll know why soon.
PinkPrincess: Sorry, fabulous. You only have FOUR reviews ::sobs:: It's okay. I'll live. THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING, and I hope this satisfies your daily drug-factor. Kisses and thank you!!!
March 20
I was five years old when I was first told I screwed up. My grandmother gave me this beautiful porcelain doll with lace, rosy cheeks, long eyelashes; the whole deal. When my grandmother died, my mother took the doll away from me and stored it in the china cabinet. I got SO furious at her, I smashed the glass of the china cabinet. Tea cups shattered, plates toppled, and my dolls face was smashed to pieces. Her entire face came off, only leaving a huge black hole. From the ground, her bright blue eyes stared at me, rolling around. It was a morbid sight, and even worse when my mother saw it. I made a mistake. I made a HUGE mistake.
"Hi," Gordo smiled at me as I practically jumped into his car.
Gordo's car was an interesting car. A clinker, you could say. It was old and rusty, with the paint coming off and oddly shaped stains from previous owners. Gordo loved that car to death, despite its horrible appearance.
He kept it as clean as possible. He didn't throw things around it or leave wrappers on the seats. He even had a little pine tree hanging off the rear view mirror, causing the car to smell something like pine trees and jasmine.
The road dashed beneath us as we flew to the mini golf place. It was this tiny, junky place which was completely unappealing to those who didn't know its magical ways. We used to go there with Lizzie, to escape the popular choices to send a Saturday night (or so Gordo said). I hadn't given the place a thought in such a long time. I loved it to death, with its tiny castles and windmills that echoed laughter..it was the best.
"This is the best," I grinned, grabbing a golf club. "Why don't we do this anymore?"
"Because we're high schoolers who believe ourselves to be too mature for this stuff.. And we suck at it," He said reasonably.
"Ooh.. THAT makes sense," I beckoned him. "Come on. We better head out, before those hellish little kids come and steal the pink ball."
We approached the first hole; one both Gordo and I hated with a little leprechaun guy who laughs at you until you get into the hole. Did I mention that since the place is SO old, the little guy can't really laugh, but give a rusty cackle? And swing his broken wooden arms..very nightmare- worthy.
"I hate this one," Gordo shuddered, placing his golf ball on the tee. "It reminds me of a dream I once had.."
"The clown one?," I asked in mock-concern.
"Enough with the clowns!," He said exasperated, hiding a smile. He tapped the dark green ball and it flew into the hole.
"Wow," I golf-clapped. Too bad I sucked at this. I placed my hot pink ball (A/N: My personal favorite color for mini golf) on the tee and swung..and missed.
"You're doing it wrong," He laughed. "Like this." He wrapped his arms around me, holding my club. He gently tapped the ball, and it went straight into the cup. I felt his breath on my neck, and golf was the last thing on my mind.
"Thanks," I breathed. I shook my head quickly. "But... I much prefer cheating." I smiled and moved onto the next hole. I could still feel his warm breath on the back of my neck and his heart beating on my back. Oh, how pain and pleasure mix!
"It's that creepy windmill one," I shuddered. "The hole of death." I smiled at him. "Remember? It was filled with mud and I dropped a charm from my bracelet in by accident, and you reached in to get it?"
"How could I forget?," He eyed the Astroturf with pain. "It's more like the hole of death with giant spindles turning and chopping off limbs multiple times while sinking into quick sand!"
"I never got the chance to thank you," I said quietly. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it," He looked at me seriously. "EVER." I laughed as he swung the club. Why did it have to be like this? Why did Gordo have to CARE? I sighed and hit my own ball into a bush. He laughed and watched me shake my head.
"You seem distracted," He commented, grabbing the pink spot in the bush and handing it to me. "Something on your mind?" You mean besides you? Yeah, I just left my gay dad at home thinking I hate him, when I really don't... I REALLY don't. I had a dramatic realization. I DON'T hate my father. I just resent him. I resent the world. I resent whoever did this to us. I resent, not hate.
"It's nothing," I waved my hand. "Just thinking."
"About what?," He questioned as we moved on.
"Life in general," I replied. I looked to the sky. "Looks like rain."
"What about it?," Gordo asked, ignoring my weather comment. "You haven't been...hurting yourself anymore, have you?"
"Of course not," I said quickly, almost shocked he thought so. He told me not to. If I listened to anyone now, it was Gordo.
"Good. I don't want you to," He hit the ball in the cup yet again.
"God, when did you get this good?," I laughed.
"I learned to," He said mysteriously, watching me attempt to hit the ball.
"Wish I could." We moved on to a little castle, with a princess in the tower. It was a little blonde, perfect one, the ones I resented. There I go again. Resenting things. "When I'm older, I'm going to live in a palace like this."
"What, on a mini golf course?," He teased.
"No, stupid! With towers and marble floors servants...," I placed the hot pink ball on the tee.
"And I'll live there with you," He responded, causing me to hit the little princess with the ball. I covered my mouth as my ball continued to bounce from side to side, knocking several things over before hitting a bald man on the head.
"Oh. My. God," I hit my head. "Sorry, sir!" Gordo doubled over in laughter as I ran to see where it landed. In the castle moat next to the little princess. Great. I attempted to roll up my heavily bleached jeans, stepping into the chlorine-filled pool. "Where the hell did it go now?"
"Here, let me help," Gordo offered, stepping right in. "There!" He found it under the draw bridge. He observed the castle as I cleaned off the ball with my fuzzy sweater. "You know, I can kind of see your point. This place is NICE." He leaned on the roof, causing the entire thing to tumble over and the roof to fall off. "SHIT."
"Between the two of us, it's a miracle they get any business around here!," I gasped for breath from laughter. This was the kind of life I wanted to lead. Gordo pushed the castle back up, leaving it unsteadily tilting.
"So, in between living in an unsteady miniature palace and hitting middle aged men in the head with bright pink spheres, what are you going to do with your life?," he asked, leading me quickly to the next hole so people wouldn't notice our defacement of public property.
"No idea," I responded, watching him look over his shoulder nervously.
"Well, you have a lot of options," He said reasonably, sounding like a father. Fathers. Argh. "What interests you?" You.
"I don't know...colors?," I suggested, rambling things off the top of my head. "Animals... food... breathing.. paper clips.."
"You could paper clip purple dogs to peanut butter sandwiches while breathing," He laughed. "Maybe I shouldn't ask... I just don't know how you're going to feed your kids without a paying job...sounds like a good hobby.."
"I'm not having kids," I said shortly.
"Why not?," He questioned curiously.
"I don't want to get married."
"Why not?"
"Because it's stupid," I said lamely.
"Good answer," He teased. "No, seriously...why not?"
"Because love is a mirage brought on to people from romantic comedies and fifty cent novels, and today marriage isn't even about that," I said, sounding much like Gordo.
"Oh, I get it," He smiled. "You're SCARED."
"Don't use your reverse physiology on me, Gordo," I said witheringly.
"I'm not. I just realized you fear commitment because you're worried about sacrificing your freedom," He replied lightly.
"That's not true!," I protested.
"Yes it is..," He said in a sing-song voice.
"I'm not arguing with you about this," I surrendered. But it wasn't enough.
"Or! Or it's possible you've been hurt," He stroked his chin, observing me. "Who hurt you, Miranda? I'll kick his ass!" He pounded his fist in his hand, trying to get me to laugh. I wanted to, I really did. But he was RIGHT. I was hurt. By him.
"You really want to know?," I said slowly. I looked up as a sudden light flashed on. They lit strings of light around the golf course now that the clouds were darkening the sky. A cool breeze tousled my hair slightly.
"I asked, didn't I?," He turned to face me. I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was how the little star lights looked like fairies or how deep his eyes looked then or maybe that little bit of living hope that rested in my stomach, but I did. His lips called me, and I felt them. Soft, embracing.. It was like a dream. And then I snapped, realizing what was happening. I pulled away, viewing his confused look. Oh. My. GOD. I kissed him. I kissed Gordo. I backed away quickly, dropping the little golf club. And then I ran. I ran like hell, just as tiny droplets of water started kissing my cheek, as if reminding me. NO NO NO.. no. It DIDN'T happen. I ran to the road, walking along side of it as the rain became heavier and colder.
It wasn't real, I decided. I hadn't just screwed up. I HADN'T. My breath was short and quick. I was hyperventilating, wasn't I? I was going to at least. My tears started to mix with the sky's at thunder started to strike. Was it just me, or was my name being called? No. I was imagining. I broke into a run as Gordo's car started to near me. I screwed up, and I wasn't letting him suffer for it. I love him...but it was a mistake. It was all one big mistake.
Baby-Angel aka Lala: Ah, yes, my question lovie. This should answer most of your questions, and no, Lizzie does not love Larry, as the rest of us do ::looks at Amy:: hem. Thank you MUCHO for your reviews, let me count them..::excitement:: FIVE. YOU GET A NAME. okay, okay, think-age..YOU ARE NOW..GROOVY TEAL PUMPS. Ooh, I like! Well, question lovie, thank you again!
Keeponwritin: Ooh, look, my groovy aquamarine sandal friend! Thank you for SIX FABULOUS REVIEWS...you rock the monkey house! I hope you like this chapter, I do!!!
Love-fool: I like green too! I'm glad you like your special name. Remember: we are all shoes at heart. I heart you MUCHO. Kisses! Thank you! I know you are writing one about Parker, because you're a hipperdoodle. And hipperdoodles have responsibilities to write groovy fan fics. Look! ANOTHER CHAPTER. READ IT.
Keeponwritin: Heh, Heh. You get TWO notes. Look! It's because I love you bunches. And stuff. And more stuff. And...yes. I love you. Um. I ran out of things to say ::gasp:: CALL THE NEWSPAPERS!!!
Caley: Did you hear that guys??? SHE LOVES IT! I HAVE A FAN. OOH I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU ALL. I WANT TO MARRY YOU ALL..and Gordo. I want to marry him more, I'm sorry. It's the eyes and the..well, you get the picture. Anyway, thank you much, my newbie friend! I love the name too; amazing I finally decided on one.
Alastar: Intense is good..right?? I hope. But, anyway, thanks bunches for reviewing, and I'm sorry to hear that about your friend. Are they okay???
Nahima Tala: ::balloons fall from the ceilings and confetti waves:: This. Is. Your. Fifth. Review. I know, because I've been keeping track of you, Hun. You're one of my favorites. You were my FIRST review. You rock some bad ass monkeys, dear, and that's why you DESERVE this award! You are now.::thinks of special name:: GROOVY PURPLE BOOT. Ooh, I like THAT one. Kisses and thank you!! And you are truly a mind reader. You'll know why soon.
PinkPrincess: Sorry, fabulous. You only have FOUR reviews ::sobs:: It's okay. I'll live. THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING, and I hope this satisfies your daily drug-factor. Kisses and thank you!!!
March 20
I was five years old when I was first told I screwed up. My grandmother gave me this beautiful porcelain doll with lace, rosy cheeks, long eyelashes; the whole deal. When my grandmother died, my mother took the doll away from me and stored it in the china cabinet. I got SO furious at her, I smashed the glass of the china cabinet. Tea cups shattered, plates toppled, and my dolls face was smashed to pieces. Her entire face came off, only leaving a huge black hole. From the ground, her bright blue eyes stared at me, rolling around. It was a morbid sight, and even worse when my mother saw it. I made a mistake. I made a HUGE mistake.
"Hi," Gordo smiled at me as I practically jumped into his car.
Gordo's car was an interesting car. A clinker, you could say. It was old and rusty, with the paint coming off and oddly shaped stains from previous owners. Gordo loved that car to death, despite its horrible appearance.
He kept it as clean as possible. He didn't throw things around it or leave wrappers on the seats. He even had a little pine tree hanging off the rear view mirror, causing the car to smell something like pine trees and jasmine.
The road dashed beneath us as we flew to the mini golf place. It was this tiny, junky place which was completely unappealing to those who didn't know its magical ways. We used to go there with Lizzie, to escape the popular choices to send a Saturday night (or so Gordo said). I hadn't given the place a thought in such a long time. I loved it to death, with its tiny castles and windmills that echoed laughter..it was the best.
"This is the best," I grinned, grabbing a golf club. "Why don't we do this anymore?"
"Because we're high schoolers who believe ourselves to be too mature for this stuff.. And we suck at it," He said reasonably.
"Ooh.. THAT makes sense," I beckoned him. "Come on. We better head out, before those hellish little kids come and steal the pink ball."
We approached the first hole; one both Gordo and I hated with a little leprechaun guy who laughs at you until you get into the hole. Did I mention that since the place is SO old, the little guy can't really laugh, but give a rusty cackle? And swing his broken wooden arms..very nightmare- worthy.
"I hate this one," Gordo shuddered, placing his golf ball on the tee. "It reminds me of a dream I once had.."
"The clown one?," I asked in mock-concern.
"Enough with the clowns!," He said exasperated, hiding a smile. He tapped the dark green ball and it flew into the hole.
"Wow," I golf-clapped. Too bad I sucked at this. I placed my hot pink ball (A/N: My personal favorite color for mini golf) on the tee and swung..and missed.
"You're doing it wrong," He laughed. "Like this." He wrapped his arms around me, holding my club. He gently tapped the ball, and it went straight into the cup. I felt his breath on my neck, and golf was the last thing on my mind.
"Thanks," I breathed. I shook my head quickly. "But... I much prefer cheating." I smiled and moved onto the next hole. I could still feel his warm breath on the back of my neck and his heart beating on my back. Oh, how pain and pleasure mix!
"It's that creepy windmill one," I shuddered. "The hole of death." I smiled at him. "Remember? It was filled with mud and I dropped a charm from my bracelet in by accident, and you reached in to get it?"
"How could I forget?," He eyed the Astroturf with pain. "It's more like the hole of death with giant spindles turning and chopping off limbs multiple times while sinking into quick sand!"
"I never got the chance to thank you," I said quietly. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it," He looked at me seriously. "EVER." I laughed as he swung the club. Why did it have to be like this? Why did Gordo have to CARE? I sighed and hit my own ball into a bush. He laughed and watched me shake my head.
"You seem distracted," He commented, grabbing the pink spot in the bush and handing it to me. "Something on your mind?" You mean besides you? Yeah, I just left my gay dad at home thinking I hate him, when I really don't... I REALLY don't. I had a dramatic realization. I DON'T hate my father. I just resent him. I resent the world. I resent whoever did this to us. I resent, not hate.
"It's nothing," I waved my hand. "Just thinking."
"About what?," He questioned as we moved on.
"Life in general," I replied. I looked to the sky. "Looks like rain."
"What about it?," Gordo asked, ignoring my weather comment. "You haven't been...hurting yourself anymore, have you?"
"Of course not," I said quickly, almost shocked he thought so. He told me not to. If I listened to anyone now, it was Gordo.
"Good. I don't want you to," He hit the ball in the cup yet again.
"God, when did you get this good?," I laughed.
"I learned to," He said mysteriously, watching me attempt to hit the ball.
"Wish I could." We moved on to a little castle, with a princess in the tower. It was a little blonde, perfect one, the ones I resented. There I go again. Resenting things. "When I'm older, I'm going to live in a palace like this."
"What, on a mini golf course?," He teased.
"No, stupid! With towers and marble floors servants...," I placed the hot pink ball on the tee.
"And I'll live there with you," He responded, causing me to hit the little princess with the ball. I covered my mouth as my ball continued to bounce from side to side, knocking several things over before hitting a bald man on the head.
"Oh. My. God," I hit my head. "Sorry, sir!" Gordo doubled over in laughter as I ran to see where it landed. In the castle moat next to the little princess. Great. I attempted to roll up my heavily bleached jeans, stepping into the chlorine-filled pool. "Where the hell did it go now?"
"Here, let me help," Gordo offered, stepping right in. "There!" He found it under the draw bridge. He observed the castle as I cleaned off the ball with my fuzzy sweater. "You know, I can kind of see your point. This place is NICE." He leaned on the roof, causing the entire thing to tumble over and the roof to fall off. "SHIT."
"Between the two of us, it's a miracle they get any business around here!," I gasped for breath from laughter. This was the kind of life I wanted to lead. Gordo pushed the castle back up, leaving it unsteadily tilting.
"So, in between living in an unsteady miniature palace and hitting middle aged men in the head with bright pink spheres, what are you going to do with your life?," he asked, leading me quickly to the next hole so people wouldn't notice our defacement of public property.
"No idea," I responded, watching him look over his shoulder nervously.
"Well, you have a lot of options," He said reasonably, sounding like a father. Fathers. Argh. "What interests you?" You.
"I don't know...colors?," I suggested, rambling things off the top of my head. "Animals... food... breathing.. paper clips.."
"You could paper clip purple dogs to peanut butter sandwiches while breathing," He laughed. "Maybe I shouldn't ask... I just don't know how you're going to feed your kids without a paying job...sounds like a good hobby.."
"I'm not having kids," I said shortly.
"Why not?," He questioned curiously.
"I don't want to get married."
"Why not?"
"Because it's stupid," I said lamely.
"Good answer," He teased. "No, seriously...why not?"
"Because love is a mirage brought on to people from romantic comedies and fifty cent novels, and today marriage isn't even about that," I said, sounding much like Gordo.
"Oh, I get it," He smiled. "You're SCARED."
"Don't use your reverse physiology on me, Gordo," I said witheringly.
"I'm not. I just realized you fear commitment because you're worried about sacrificing your freedom," He replied lightly.
"That's not true!," I protested.
"Yes it is..," He said in a sing-song voice.
"I'm not arguing with you about this," I surrendered. But it wasn't enough.
"Or! Or it's possible you've been hurt," He stroked his chin, observing me. "Who hurt you, Miranda? I'll kick his ass!" He pounded his fist in his hand, trying to get me to laugh. I wanted to, I really did. But he was RIGHT. I was hurt. By him.
"You really want to know?," I said slowly. I looked up as a sudden light flashed on. They lit strings of light around the golf course now that the clouds were darkening the sky. A cool breeze tousled my hair slightly.
"I asked, didn't I?," He turned to face me. I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was how the little star lights looked like fairies or how deep his eyes looked then or maybe that little bit of living hope that rested in my stomach, but I did. His lips called me, and I felt them. Soft, embracing.. It was like a dream. And then I snapped, realizing what was happening. I pulled away, viewing his confused look. Oh. My. GOD. I kissed him. I kissed Gordo. I backed away quickly, dropping the little golf club. And then I ran. I ran like hell, just as tiny droplets of water started kissing my cheek, as if reminding me. NO NO NO.. no. It DIDN'T happen. I ran to the road, walking along side of it as the rain became heavier and colder.
It wasn't real, I decided. I hadn't just screwed up. I HADN'T. My breath was short and quick. I was hyperventilating, wasn't I? I was going to at least. My tears started to mix with the sky's at thunder started to strike. Was it just me, or was my name being called? No. I was imagining. I broke into a run as Gordo's car started to near me. I screwed up, and I wasn't letting him suffer for it. I love him...but it was a mistake. It was all one big mistake.