Author: silrayn 'the silly' silverwolf
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiß Kreuz, just the kitsune culture and the kitsune (though the research for the groundwork credits to Foxtrot). The crazy assassins are mine.
Teaser: Aya decides to attend an assassin's convention with Crawford. They have just one problem...he's in his kitsune form! What would be worse: an assassin totting a stuff toy or one with a toy fox?
Arc: Ayan-kitsune Universe, Random Incidents
Ayan-kitsune and the Assassin's Convention
WEIß KREUZ FANFICTION
"Crawford, I never figured you for going senile in your old age." Sneered a blond Eurasian man with a heavy British accent. His handsome aristocratic features were ruined with a sneer. He was looking down meaningfully on the armful of red fur that Crawford was carrying.
The fur bundle in question was currently immobile, pretending to be a stuffed toy.
The things I have to do for love...
Crawford sighed inwardly as he prepared a snappy comeback. It would do no good to act weak in front of these people.
"Why thank you, Woodward, but I'm as sharp as I ever was...as I recall you finding out in the Sampson case." Crawford retorted back, snidely.
"A hit, there. You have to admit that no matter how weird Schwartz are, they always get results." Another man said. This one was a brunet with a Spanish accent, an accent that didn't disguise the innuendo in the tone.
"Ramirez, you're the one to talk. Aren't you with the one with the collection of old rocks and junk in your apartment?" A blonde female in a slinky green outfit said.
"They're antiques and fossils, Adelaide!" 'Ramirez' protested, glaring at the female.
"They're still just overpriced rocks and junk, I'd say." 'Adelaide' said frostily.
The 'stuff toy' in Crawford's arms twitched at this impassioned defense.
: Now, Ayan be still. We don't want them to know you're alive. :
The answer was a mental snort.
"You women always defend Crawford. What does he have that we don't have anyway?" Woodward asked, annoyed.
It was one of the reasons why Ayan had insisted on coming along. Schuldig specifically had mentioned this. Crawford remembered...
***
"Looks like I'll be keeping you company tonight, Ayan-chan." Schuldig said as he sat on the couch.
: What do you mean, Schuldig? :
"He means that I'm going to an Assassin's Convention. It's going to take most of the night." Crawford said as he came in the living room. His suit was as impeccable as ever, if not more so.
"Especially since Crawford needs to give his 'fan club' their due." Schuldig's voice fairly dripped of mischief.
: Fan club? : The force of the shi-ne glare was much dispersed coming from a tiny foxy on the couch but it still had some heat.
"Yeah, didn't Crawford tell you? He's got half the female assassin population swooning at his feet. And ole Oracle here's bi, don't you know?" Schuldig asked, seemingly oblivious to the rising temperature in the room.
The heat in the glare rose in intensity as Ayan directed it at Crawford.
"Besides his old flame is at the convention, name's Sylvia of Porblos. See this pic of her, isn't she hot?" Schuldig turned out a photograph of a Chinese beauty of a woman and shoved it under Aya's nose.
Aya gave a disdainful snort and turned up his snout at the picture but...
: I'm going with you to this convention. It sounds interesting. Besides, I'm an assassin, too. :
: But Ayan-love, you can't transform to your human form remember? We just had sex last night... :
: No, buts. : Ayan's kit voice took on the steel of 'Abyssinian' tone.
: Schuldig, I'm going to get you for this! : Crawford said as they went on to discuss what ribbons or adornments the little fox was going to wear.
: My pleasure. Take it as repayment for your debt. You still owe me for letting me think you were going to kill me for fraternizing with the enemy. : Schuldig snickered.
: Schuldig! :
***
That wasn't the worse of it. His father-in-law had gone ballistic upon hearing of it…
***
: What is this I hear of Ayan going with you to an assassin's convention? : Luren demanded, looking absurdly cute as he stalked into the living room in his five-tailed kitsune form.
The red fox had known a long time ago that he could never match Crawford in the fighting department and had decided to fight unfairly using his kitsune form. Crawford did have a soft spot for Fire Clan foxes even when he belonged to the Thunder Clan.
I can't help it, they all remind me of my Ayan…all so cute…
Luren picked up on his weakness and used it unmercifully.
: It was not my idea. I assure you. : Crawford said as he brushed Ayan's fur, gently easing out the tangles. Underneath his worry of the consequences, he was glad that he'd be showing off his mate to his associates.
Though they'll never know it's him…
The important thing was that he would know.
: Hn, it was mine. : Ayan replied.
: I absolutely forbid it! It's no place for a kit. Unless Ayan can transform into his human form? :
Crawford barely prevented himself from blushing at the innuendo.
: Luren-tousan! : Ayan's indignant wail said it all.
: I thought so. Have you two even thought of the consequences if those associates of Crawford's find out about his cute pet fox? I don't think so. : Luren ranted on.
: But 'tousan! :
: Don't 'tousan me! You should just stay here. :
Before the volley of heated words could turn into an argument and considering that these two were both fire kitsune the words were raising the room temperature considerably. A vision of foxy loveliness walked into the room.
: Now, now, Luren. You've been young yourself. You should understand Ayan's need for mischief. : Kizie said as she walked glossy black tails wagging sinuously behind her.
: But--but-- : Luren stuttered.
He's lost the argument…
Crawford noted that Luren had a weakness, in turn, for big black females.
For someone so small, he sure has strange tastes, but then everyone would probably say the same of me regarding Ayan…
It wasn't as if he'd been attracted to Ayan because of the little fox's size though he rather liked having a nice portable mate.
I can always get him away from people I don't like…and other things…
It wasn't as if he'd intentionally chosen Ayan for the fox's size. It was a feature that came with the package…a rather small package…
: Besides, I think we can disguise
him as a stuffed toy with minimal illusion and disguise his tails. :
Why do I suddenly feel that this might not be such a good idea?
***
That was why Crawford was now for all intents and purposes walking around with a fox stuff toy on his arm.
I'm never going to hear the end of this…
Suddenly, Ayan shifted restlessly on his forearm.
What the…
"Let us see, maybe it's his leadership ability? Maybe it's his accomplishments? Or maybe it's--?" A sultry brunette said, appearing beside him in a strapless number that looked like it was only being held on her form by the sheer size of her breasts. Her almond eyes proclaimed her Asian descent.
Sylvia. The reason for all this...
Crawford shifted his arm preventing what he knew what was going to happen. It was in vain.
Yawn.
Ayan-kitsune stood up on Crawford's arm and made a foxy stretch. It broke the fragile illusion that made Ayan look like a stuff toy.
: Ayan! :
: Don't worry, Brad, it's too late anyway. :
Ayan had cocked his head to stare at Crawford with big purple eyes.
Crawford sighed quietly. He never could resist Ayan's version of puppy eyes.
: We'll just have to alter their memories later…if it becomes a problem. :
: Wakatta. :
"--Or his animal magnetism, perhaps, Sylvia." Woodward finished for her to the amusement of the group of assassins around them.
"He's so cute! Crawford, where did you get such a tiny fox kit?" Adelaide said, reaching over to scratch Ayan's ears. She earned a nip for her pains.
Crawford decided to ignore the question.
Not that she'd believe me anyway…
"What ees this fuss about?" A big bear of a Russian came up in a gray suit, a bald head and a bushy beard. Crawford recognized him as Romanoff in an instant. His team had never worked against Schwartz and was a rather jovial sort.
"Crazy Crawford's bloody done it again." Woodward said.
"Well, it shows that Crawford is a man of profound sensitivity." Sylvia said.
"An assassin haveeng 'sensiteevity'. What ees this sensiteevity you are talking about?"
Sometimes, Crawford suspected Romanoff of exaggerating his accent a bit.
"Hidden sensitivity. We all know that it's just a job." It was Adelaide who had come back to the group carrying a small bowl full of cut up steak and was trying to feed Ayan with a small piece.
After a moment's thought, Crawford decided to allow the familiarity. It wasn't as if a female was much of a threat to him. Besides, he'd read Adelaide's mind and had seen that the intention behind it was harmless. The woman had the idea that she could use the old 'get the owner through the pet' ploy. Crawford was highly amused.
You have no idea at all, do you?
Ayan looked at the piece of meat and sniffed at it cautiously.
: Ayan, it's not poisoned. :
:I know, but I think I should play their game and act like a normal fox, ne? :
The amusement in Ayan's voice threatened to make Crawford chuckle.
Sylvia and Adelaide exchanged glares over Ayan as Ayan accepted a tidbit. Crawford could almost see them hissing and spitting like a couple of cats over a choice bit of fish.
"And that is an advantage for an assassin?" Ramirez asked.
"Business is business. I trust Crawford to separate business from…other things." Sylvia said.
"You can, can you? I remember he bloody well shafted you and Porblos the other time and you were lovers then." Woodward said, snidely.
Sylvia hissed, then, and Woodward was forced to dodge a fork aimed at his jugular vein. Ramirez was forced to duck out from between the two assassins.
"Eet's not gentlemanlee to talk about a lady that way, nor is it ladeelike to attack a creetic in a partee." Romanoff said, mildly. His bushy beard twitched in amusement.
"But then Sylvia's not a lady." Adelaide said, spitefully. She was still feeding Ayan with tidbits.
"I heard that!" Sylvia said, redirecting her ire to her rival.
"Oh, you should, dear. You're hardly deaf." Adelaide retorted as she gathered herself for the attack that was to come.
"Why you!" Sylvia came on with her Fork of Doom.
Ramirez showed his more gallant side and restrained Sylvia.
"Now, now, Sylvia. That's quite enough." Ramirez said, wheezing a bit when he got elbowed in the kidney.
"Yes, you are making quite a spectacle of yourself." Woodward said.
"Eet must be quite amuseeng to have two beauutiful geerls fighting over you, yes?" Romanoff said, sidling to Crawford to scratch Ayan ears.
"It's not what it's cracked up to be." Crawford said. He was fast getting tired of this party and longed to be home but it was too early and he couldn't just leave without appearing weak.
At least, Ayan's revelation isn't causing that much of a fuss…and no one's showing any dangerous interest in him… 'Course that doesn't mean he isn't in danger but it lessens the probability considerably…
"Well, you do keep the Latino lover busy. Why don't you date him instead? I'm sure you'd make quite couple. He could spend his time restraining a psychotic bitch like you and he'll not have time to wander away to other girls." A caustic voice came in from Crawford's left to reveal a sloe-eyed brunette in a red Chinese outfit.
"Mei Lin, it's not what you think!" Ramirez sputtered, letting go of Sylvia abruptly as he tried to explain to the second Oriental beauty. She ignored him.
"Ohh, how cute!" Mei Lin fairly squealed at Ayan, making Ayan hide his head in the crook of Crawford's arm.
"Now see what you did! Little--what's his name?" Adelaide asked.
"Fluffy-chan." Crawford said without batting an eyelash.
: Fluffy? Fluffy? : Ayan sounded quite offended.
: I can hardly use your real name, can I? They're not dumb, they might be able to connect your human identity with your kitsune one. :
Ayan snorted.
"You've scared little Fluffy-chan."
"Oh no, you minx! You're not snatching away Crawford from me by cottoning up to his pet!"
"Why don't you just go along with Ramirez as she said. You match." Adelaide said smugly.
"Oh my, it seems that Fluffy-chan's owner is as cute as his pet." Mei Lin said, cutting through the hissy-fight.
Both Adelaide and Sylvia glared at her while Ramirez looked like he wasn't above attacking Crawford with a fork.
"Stuff it, Andres. I am still allowed to look. I think you've learned your lesson, have you, darling?"
"Yes." Ramirez said, meekly, allowing himself to be led off.
Crawford's group burst out in laughter.
"Who would've thought that the bloke was tied to his chick's apron strings?" Woodward said, chuckling.
"Anyway, Crawford, could I hold Ayan for a minute?" Sylvia asked.
"No! Let me hold him, please?" Adelaide asked.
"I'll let Ayan decide who he wants to hold him. Is it fine with you?" Crawford was certain Ayan would remain firmly in his arm.
"Yes." Adelaide said eagerly, certain from the gleam in her eyes that she would be the lucky one.
Sylvia didn't look as happy but she nodded.
Crawford extended Ayan towards both women. Ayan jumped over to Sylvia.
: Ayan what are you…? :
"See, he likes me better despite your pitiful attempts at bribery. I…" Sylvia shrieked in mid-gloat. A dark wet stain began to form on her gown's front and she threw Ayan in surprise.
Crawford caught the little fox carefully, grabbing a paper napkin to wipe Ayan before settling the kit on his arm. In his mind, he could feel light bubbles of laughter tickling him.
: Ayan, did you have to do that? Sylvia's not going to forget this. :
Only a mental snicker answered him. Crawford nearly sighed.
Sometimes I think I've left you in Schuldig's company for too long…you weren't as perverse when you were Abyssinian…
Ayan didn't deign answer the thought.
"You didn't have to do that to my Fluffy-chan." Crawford lectured. His heart, however, was pounding in reaction.
I nearly wasn't in time… Ayan nearly got injured…
He was more than ready to leave this annoying party.
"Yes, it's a tiny fox keet after all. You can't blame heem for followeeng hees nature."
"Ees cutesy Floofy-chan hurt?" Romanoff said, though he looked like he wanted to laugh as well. He ruffled the tiny red ears.
Adelaide wore a very smug smile while Woodward looked quite satisfied. Sylvia stomped off to change her clothing.
"What's the commotion around here? Was that the psychotic bitch, Sylvia we just saw, Woodward?" An unfamiliar red haired pixy in a blue gown asked. Her short bob bounced merrily.
"And your arrre?" Romanoff asked.
"Reina Wyngard."
"And I'm Aimee de la Croix. We can't help but notice your cute companion." A longhaired beauty in midnight blue said. She had followed the red haired girl.
"I knew that you had good taste. I don't believe me and your lovely companion have met, Reina?" Woodward said.
"I was referring to the fox kit." The ice in her voice was enough to freeze the sun.
That put Woodward in his place.
"May I hold him?" Reina asked, putting her green eyes to good effect and arms reaching out to grab Ayan.
: Crawford, save me! :
"No, I believe Fluffy-chan has had enough excitement for the night."
"Spoilsport." Reina continued to try to grab Ayan and Crawford was hard put to keep the fox kit away from her.
"Crawford, mon ami, don't you think that you can trust me with the little one?" Aimee asked, slinking close to Crawford.
"I think you're better off with me, milady." Woodward said. He was ignored.
***
After awhile Aimee and Reina left, sulking that they didn't get to do more than scratch Ayan's ears. Several other women came to replace them. Both Romanoff and Woodward now had a pretty girl or two on their arms. To all honesty, Crawford could have had the pick of any of the girls but he all he wanted to do was to be alone with Ayan. He stood in the ever-changing crowd, somewhat annoyed.
Sometimes I wonder if Ayan exudes some kind of pheromone or something to make him utterly cute to everyone…
Crawford's thought was interrupted by the sound of a clearing throat.
"So this is the infamous cutie that has stolen all of the pretty girls. Crawford, it's so like you to have such a useless pet." A masculine voice sneered. An olive skinned man of multiracial features came from the crowd.
"And it's nice to see you too, Lasifar." Crawford said with a smirk. He and the mongrel mercenary were bitter rivals over some contracts in Europe before Schwartz had been transferred to Japan.
"I bet he wouldn't last a minute against my Farsee." Lasifar challenged.[1]
Suddenly, Crawford was hit by a vision of a large German Shepherd sniffing Ayan with lolling jaws and tried to dodge. Too late. The weight of big paws was on his arm and the German Shepherd was already on him, sniffing Ayan. He was going to put his arm to protect his mate when…
"Farsee! What are you doing?" Lasifar said, his jaw hanging open with surprise.
The German Shepherd started licking Ayan's small head and started to groom whatever of Ayan's fur, she could reach.
"Haha, I think your bitch likes Fluffy-chan too. You're having really bad luck with the ladies." Woodward said. He seems to have mellowed down after having gotten his share of the ladies. He got a glare for his pains.
It didn't help matters that all the ladies glared back at Lasifar. Clearly, he wasn't going to get any sympathy for his troubles.
"Farsee, let's go." Lasifar said, finally.
"Ohh, was Fluffy-chan fwightened by the big doggie?" A lady in green cooed.
"Yes, did the big doggie worry Fluffy-chan?" Another said.
It seemed that they were going to converge in droves to assure themselves that their cutie was going to be all right.
: Crawford-chan, help! :
It took Crawford some time to extricate Ayan from the throng and when he did so he decided that enough was enough.
"Look at the time. I think I'd better leave, nice socializing with you." Crawford said. He quickly gathered Ayan and made his excuses to the disappointment of the ladies.
No telling what else could happen…and I've had enough excitement for one day…
"Leetle Floofy-chan, sure made thees dull partee fun." Romanoff said.
"Leaving so soon? But--but--"
"Chow, Crawford. I hate to admit it but Romanoff was right… Fluffy-chan did make this party fun."
: Ready to go, Ayan? :
: Aa. Though the strange lady didn't need to throw me that hard… :
Hah! "Strange lady" indeed, you know who she was all the time…
: Let's talk about it later, ne? :
: Aa. :
Finally…
It's good to be finally going home. The tension he didn't admit to ran out of Crawford's body.
It's good to go home…
It was another nerve-racking day with Ayan-chan.
~Owari~
Author's Notes:
[1] I'm not kidding. I know someone who has a German Shepherd named "Farsee".
Sorry if I've offended anyone about
the stereotypical characters.