Don't Stay (Rusen/Ruhanaru)
A/N: Songfic based on and inspired by Linkin Park's "Don't Stay".
Standard disclaimers apply.
*words in [ ] are the song lyrics.
[sometimes I
need to remember just to breathe
sometimes I
need you to stay away from me]
I stared at the kissing couple in disbelief. My voice was lost. After what seemed like eternity, I finally found it.
"A..kira?" It sounded pathetic. But it was enough for his head to snap up. He quickly pulled away from Koshino - but it was too late. I had seen it. The damage had been done.
[sometimes I'm
in disbelief I didn't know
somehow I need you to go]
I locked gazes with him unflinchingly. I pierced his azure blue gaze with my own icy stare. He began nervously, "Kaede, I can explain... please listen to me!" His words were already drowned out by the rushing wind in my ears as I ran.
[sometimes I
feel like I trusted you too well
sometimes I
just feel like screaming at myself]
I stopped running and glanced around. I was in the park. Still in shock, I walked to a park bench and sat down.
[sometimes I'm
in disbelief I didn't know
somehow I
need to be alone]
There was a wet substance on my cheek. I touched it, surprised. Tears? I was crying? Something I hadn't done in many, many years. I was fumbling for tissue when I realized I didn't really care. Leaning back, I began to sort out my thoughts - and feelings.
I didn't understand why. Why Akira would cheat on me. Weren't we perfectly happy together? A pang of pain shot through me as I remembered his smile - comforting and brilliant. For some reason I remembered when he first took me fishing - our first date - how he guided my hand, and showed me how to toss the line...
[don't stay
forget our memories
forget our possibilities
take all your faithlessness with you
just give me myself back and
don't stay]
I shook my head vehemently to clear these sentimental thoughts from my head. What was the use of remembering? He was gone to me. Gone. I shouldn't be dwelling on him. He didn't deserve forgiveness.
[sometimes I
feel like I trusted you too well
sometimes I
just feel like screaming at myself]
Maybe we weren't the perfect couple I had imagined us to be. I wondered just how long had he been cheating on me. I felt as if daggers were being driven into my heart, ripping it apart. I couldn't take this. I couldn't survive without him.
[Sometimes I'm
in disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I
need to be alone]
I steeled myself. I would forget him, no matter what. Put aside any feelings for him and start anew. Lifting my jaw determinedly, I walked home.
[Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
I entered the apartment where I lived alone, stalked to my room, and began throwing out anything that would remind me of him. Everything. Gifts. Cards. Photos. They had to go.
[Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
My room looked so bare. I knew, even though I refused to admit it, I was nothing without him. He was the pillar of my life. I crumpled to the floor and began to cry.
Strangely enough, when I had run out of tears to cry, I found myself stronger. More determined. As if my feelings had been washed away with the tears. No, my feelings for him weren't gone... just laid to rest. Tucked away, where I couldn't see them.
[I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored
I don't need one more day of you wasting me away
I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored
I don't need one more day of you wasting me away
With no apologies]
I will forget you, Sendoh Akira. I will. I don't need you. I can survive by myself.
[Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
But I wondered. If I could really ever be myself again. Because "myself" involved a part of Sendoh Akira as well. What he did hurt me so much, I didn't think I could ever love again.
[Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
But I did. As I snuggle up to my koi, and whisper with true feeling, "I love you", Sendoh Akira is a thing of the past.
Hanamichi glances down at me and smiles.
" I love you too."
~owari~
A/N: I know rukawa's thoughts were somewhat contradictory. They were meant to be - I was trying to show how he was battling with himself. Contradicting feelings. Internal struggle. Ah.. just review, onegai!
A/N: Songfic based on and inspired by Linkin Park's "Don't Stay".
Standard disclaimers apply.
*words in [ ] are the song lyrics.
[sometimes I
need to remember just to breathe
sometimes I
need you to stay away from me]
I stared at the kissing couple in disbelief. My voice was lost. After what seemed like eternity, I finally found it.
"A..kira?" It sounded pathetic. But it was enough for his head to snap up. He quickly pulled away from Koshino - but it was too late. I had seen it. The damage had been done.
[sometimes I'm
in disbelief I didn't know
somehow I need you to go]
I locked gazes with him unflinchingly. I pierced his azure blue gaze with my own icy stare. He began nervously, "Kaede, I can explain... please listen to me!" His words were already drowned out by the rushing wind in my ears as I ran.
[sometimes I
feel like I trusted you too well
sometimes I
just feel like screaming at myself]
I stopped running and glanced around. I was in the park. Still in shock, I walked to a park bench and sat down.
[sometimes I'm
in disbelief I didn't know
somehow I
need to be alone]
There was a wet substance on my cheek. I touched it, surprised. Tears? I was crying? Something I hadn't done in many, many years. I was fumbling for tissue when I realized I didn't really care. Leaning back, I began to sort out my thoughts - and feelings.
I didn't understand why. Why Akira would cheat on me. Weren't we perfectly happy together? A pang of pain shot through me as I remembered his smile - comforting and brilliant. For some reason I remembered when he first took me fishing - our first date - how he guided my hand, and showed me how to toss the line...
[don't stay
forget our memories
forget our possibilities
take all your faithlessness with you
just give me myself back and
don't stay]
I shook my head vehemently to clear these sentimental thoughts from my head. What was the use of remembering? He was gone to me. Gone. I shouldn't be dwelling on him. He didn't deserve forgiveness.
[sometimes I
feel like I trusted you too well
sometimes I
just feel like screaming at myself]
Maybe we weren't the perfect couple I had imagined us to be. I wondered just how long had he been cheating on me. I felt as if daggers were being driven into my heart, ripping it apart. I couldn't take this. I couldn't survive without him.
[Sometimes I'm
in disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I
need to be alone]
I steeled myself. I would forget him, no matter what. Put aside any feelings for him and start anew. Lifting my jaw determinedly, I walked home.
[Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
I entered the apartment where I lived alone, stalked to my room, and began throwing out anything that would remind me of him. Everything. Gifts. Cards. Photos. They had to go.
[Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
My room looked so bare. I knew, even though I refused to admit it, I was nothing without him. He was the pillar of my life. I crumpled to the floor and began to cry.
Strangely enough, when I had run out of tears to cry, I found myself stronger. More determined. As if my feelings had been washed away with the tears. No, my feelings for him weren't gone... just laid to rest. Tucked away, where I couldn't see them.
[I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored
I don't need one more day of you wasting me away
I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored
I don't need one more day of you wasting me away
With no apologies]
I will forget you, Sendoh Akira. I will. I don't need you. I can survive by myself.
[Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
But I wondered. If I could really ever be myself again. Because "myself" involved a part of Sendoh Akira as well. What he did hurt me so much, I didn't think I could ever love again.
[Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
But I did. As I snuggle up to my koi, and whisper with true feeling, "I love you", Sendoh Akira is a thing of the past.
Hanamichi glances down at me and smiles.
" I love you too."
~owari~
A/N: I know rukawa's thoughts were somewhat contradictory. They were meant to be - I was trying to show how he was battling with himself. Contradicting feelings. Internal struggle. Ah.. just review, onegai!