Disclaimer: Don't own them, never will. Enjoy
Thank you to all the kind and constructive reviewers. You are an encouragement, and I keep trying to improve the writing. I still plan to write a chapter or two a week and post on weekends as my schedule allows. It will take a while to get to the end, but I will be faithful to post often.
Too Young
Chapter 3
Serious Discussions
Captain Bridger's hand squeezed his shoulder, but then slipped off, so Lucas stood to follow Dr. Westphalen to Med Bay. He realized that his hands still shook slightly and tried to slip them surreptitiously into his pockets. He hated that dream. That particular time in the well was not the worst trip behind the garage, but it was the first and so it seemed to hold special sway over his dreams. He hardly ever dreamed about the other times his father used that special punishment. He had fought in panic on the second trip to the carriage house. That earned him a broken arm and cracked ribs. In spite of his resistance, he still ended up at the bottom of the well. He had nearly drowned that night. He had to float and claw his way upward using only his good arm and his legs. He barely made it out. He woke up three days later in the hospital. He had pneumonia and a killer sinus infection. After that, he always went quietly with his father. He learned, over the years, the quickest climb out, and he escaped the well once his father left the old building. His father never caught on. He even achieved a victory, of sorts, by hiding changes of clothes and blankets in the dark corners of the old carriage house. He would sit inside one of the horse stalls, warm and dry, and wait a few hours for his father to sober up. Then, he'd sneak quietly back in and up the stairs to his bedroom. There, he'd lie on his bed and wonder what he'd done wrong, and what he could do to avoid his father's wrath in the future.
Lucas mentally shook himself and focused on the present. Here, on seaQuest, he had escaped his father, the uncertainty of his moods, and his drunken rages. Here, he felt safe. He lagged behind the doctor, and he shivered in reaction to the cooler air circulating between decks. As they entered the Maglev, Lucas glanced back toward the wardroom. He wasn't sorry to miss this meeting; generally, he found them boring, but he did wonder about the crew's reactions to his nightmare. He knew he'd have to face their questions later, and resolved, again, that they could never know the content of this dream, the fabric of lies his father had woven together about the past. Those lies landed him on seaQuest in the first place. If they found out about his life before seaQuest, he'd have to leave. And he needed, wanted to stay—at least for a while longer.
Ahead, Kristen motioned Lucas to follow her into Med Bay.
"On the table" Kristen's no nonsense voice broke into his thoughts. He shrugged and sat down.
"Is this necessary?"
She glared at him. He tried not to wilt visibly, but inside he was quaking. Sometimes, he felt as if she could read his thoughts. Right this minute, that would be disastrous. She busied herself laying out bandages. "Roll up your sleeve, young man." She sounded more exasperated than mad. "Honestly, you must learn to take better care of yourself!"
Lucas sighed. She rechecked and wrapped his stitched arm, then adjusted a sling for him to use. "Open up." She placed a thermometer in his mouth and, while she was waiting, took his pulse. After jotting down the results on a chart nearby, she turned to prepare an injection. She gave Lucas a small smile now and said, "Lie down and roll over. This shot cannot go in your arm."
Lucas complied, grimacing as she inserted the needle below his left hip. He refastened his pants.
"Just an antibiotic to take care of the infection. You need sleep now, if you can. Your temperature is 103; I'm not surprised that you are seeing disturbing images in your dreams. With this high a temperature, I wouldn't be surprised if you were seeing things while awake. Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." Lucas answered shortly. He just wanted to be alone now. He did not mean to be rude, but he just couldn't face her questions, and he had no confidence in his ability to answer to her satisfaction anyway. He didn't think her questions would stop. Once he let her in, she'd keep pressing until she had the entire story. That was unacceptable. So he rolled onto his back, closed his eyes, and waited, hoping she'd give up, go away, and leave him in peace.
Kristen started to say something, then stopped. Instead, she took a small towel, wet it with cool water, and gently placed it on his forehead. He flinched, but did not open his eyes. She sat next to him until he relaxed into sleep, and turned onto his side. She lowered the lights and gave direction to the nurse to call her when he awakened. She could make the end of the briefing if she hurried.
"..And you all have your assignments." Captain Bridger was closing the mission briefing when Kristen walked into the wardroom.
Immediately, all eyes turned her way. She answered their unspoken question.
"Lucas will be fine. He is asleep now. His fever was quite high, but once the antibiotics have had a chance to work, that will go down. Physically, he should be fully recovered in a few days." She met Nathan's gaze as she uttered the last sentence, and could see her worry mirrored in his eyes. She could almost read his thoughts. 'Physically fine.' But what about his emotional health? That seemed to be far from fine.
Surprisingly, Tim spoke up first. His voice was hesitant and soft. "Captain, Doctor…I don't mean to pry or speak out of turn, but I've never seen Lucas that upset. He was trying to hide it, but he was shaking when he left. If I can ask, did he tell you what frightened him, what upset him? Was it the dream—or is it just that he's ill? Or is it something else?"
"These are excellent questions, Lieutenant. I don't have the answers for you, but Kristen and I wanted to talk with you all about something Lucas said just before the meeting, and, perhaps Lucas did give Kristen some sort of explanation while in Med bay." Nathan looked inquiringly at her.
As Kristen shook her head to the negative, Ben cut in. "…Sir, we all are concerned about the kid. He hasn't been himself for a couple of weeks now, and he won't tell me about whatever is bothering him. As far as I know, he's even stopped talking with Darwin. Fish-face was complaining the other day that Lucas hadn't come to play with him in a while."
Kristen's look silenced him and she explained further, "I tried to talk with Lucas when I treated him. He shut me out. I know that he's hurting—something is bothering him. Somehow we need to get through to him that it's safe to talk with us about whatever it is."
"Kristen and I didn't know how isolated Lucas was feeling until a few hours ago. I may be violating his confidence a little, but I believe it is necessary for us to talk about this. Maybe we can help him, and you all need to know how he feels. He believes that he is only wanted here for what he can do with the computers…that he is a 'freak' and resented by some of the crew."
"Is this serious? Should we contact his parents?" Katie looked around at everyone as she spoke.
Tim was shaking his head. "I'm not sure his parents even care…I mean, there are no calls from either one of them on the ship's communication logs, and I've never heard him talk about either one of them…"
Nathan's eyebrows rose. "We really don't know what brought Lucas to the seaQuest. Admiral Noyce mentioned that there were 'discipline problems at home', but in the few months I've known him, that explanation does not fit. I don't see Lucas as a problem child or a troublemaker."
Kristen interjected, "Has anyone heard Lucas' explanation as to how he ended up here? It may be important" Her gaze met blank looks and negative head shakes.
"Well.." Chief Crocker began, "I brought Lucas over to the seaQuest that first day. I was piloting the MR-7 that morning. His father dropped him off at the New Cape Quest pier. I just had a list of names, seamen, scientists and 'academy pups'.."
"Hey!" Miguel interrupted, "..I was on that launch."
Crocker rolled his eyes. "As I was saying, I just had this list, and he sure didn't fit what I was expecting to see as a 'chief computer analyst'. I almost didn't let him on, but his paperwork was in order, so…"
"Your point, Chief." Commander Ford said impatiently.
"Yes, sorry, Sir. It wasn't so much what Lucas said, it was how his father behaved. He couldn't hand the boy over to me fast enough..and he didn't even say good-bye—didn't even look at him. He just threw the kid's duffel bag at his feet and left."
"I remember that…" Miguel said slowly, "..I helped him stow his gear. He acted like he'd never been in a shuttle before. I didn't know that was his father though. I just thought that the guy was a cabdriver with an attitude, or that Lucas stiffed him on the tip. Anyway, Lucas sat next to me on the ride over to seaQuest. He didn't say a word the whole way—well, he did introduce himself."
Jonathan shot Miguel a warning look, and sounding slightly exasperated, said, "Chief, did something happen that you feel we need to know?"
"As I say, it may be unimportant, but when I offloaded the launch, he stayed aboard. When I noticed him back there, I went to see if something was wrong. He was struggling to lift his duffel. He'd had it over his shoulder, but he'd dropped it. When I got closer, I noticed that he had blood spotting through his shirt where the strap had been."
"WHAT!!" Kristen practically screamed and, next to her, Tim jumped. "What did you do? Why didn't you bring him to Med Bay?"
Crocker raised both hands as if to hold back her questions. "I tried. I got his bag for him and took him to his quarters. I asked him along the way what happened and told him that he needed to get his shoulder checked out. I even offered to walk with him to Med Bay. He said he'd take care of it; not to worry, that he knew I was busy and he could find his own way. It was a horrendous day, and, frankly, I had forgotten all about him in an hour's time. He also had a plausible explanation for the blood, so I let it go."
"What did he say?" Ben jumped in with his question. At least three others around the table had their mouths open to ask precisely that. In other circumstances, Nathan would have found it amusing. He just nodded at the Chief to continue.
"Well, he said he had a cyst on that shoulder that had just been removed. He said he'd forgotten all about it until he tried to lift the bag."
"…So, what does that tell us?" Miguel asked.
"It's all conjecture without Lucas to confirm it, but I…I..think his dad hurt him. I have never seen a man as angry as his father was when he left him. I don't think Lucas had a cyst, and I don't think he came to seaQuest willingly."
Katie looked aghast. "You believe that his father abused him? Hurt him to force him to come on board? That's quite a jump, isn't it?"
The Chief looked at her. She could see the conviction of his belief in his eyes. "I said I don't know for sure—All I know is I get this feeling, four months after that day, that I missed something important. It's hindsight, but knowing what I know now, knowing Lucas a little better…when we all walked in here…walked in on that nightmare, the first thing that came to mind was his bloody shirt on the launch that day. I can't say why that popped into my mind. I don't think I've thought about it once between then and now. I sure would like to know what he was dreaming is all."
Nathan sat back and nodded thoughtfully. "Kristen, does Lucas' medical file give any indication that the Chief's suspicions could be true? I have wondered about this very thing myself, but hearing it aloud…" His voice trailed off.
"I don't have much, as far as medical records go. He came with an incomplete file, but he was, is so young that I didn't worry about it overmuch. He's obviously a healthy young man. I've had no luck contacting either parent to sign a release to request his complete file from his primary physician in Buffalo."
She looked slightly shaken. "Nathan, it just occurred to me that I've never done a complete physical on him. He came on board at the tail end of all the science personnel. Some of them still have not had their first physicals. Lucas is in that group. If he has been abused in the past, I've let it slip by unnoticed."
Nathan looked around, disturbed by Kristen's comments. Everyone seemed upset by what they'd just heard. He noted, however, that Katie and Jonathan looked slightly green. Quite a feat for his second, especially. He met their eyes. "What is it?"
Katie motioned for Jonathan to begin. "I..I don't…I didn't…God, I don't think either one of us considered that the scars could be abuse. He seemed so matter of fact about them."
"What are you talking about? What scars?" Nathan sat forward, staring intently at Jonathan.
"We walked in the gym about a month ago, and Lucas was finishing up his required exercise time on the treadmill. He had just pulled off his shirt to change into a dry one right before we came in. His was turned away from us, and he had—has scars all over his back. When he heard us, he turned around quickly. We asked him about his back. He gave us a crooked grin and he said he'd gotten tangled in a shark net once several years ago while helping his dad do research at an aquarium. I think we said something like 'that must have hurt'. He gathered up his stuff and left pretty quickly."
Ben looked shell shocked. "If that SOB hurt him like that… I'll kill him. Who could do anything to deliberately hurt him? They'd have to be a monster."
Nathan nodded in agreement, but cautioned, "We still don't know anything with any certainty. In the absence of proof, we would need Lucas to admit this abuse happened. I don't see him doing that willingly, so perhaps the best option is for you, Kristen, to rotate him up to the head of the list for physicals and see what you can find out."
"But what can we do in the meantime, Captain?" It was Tim who spoke, but they all looked at him expectantly.
"Originally, this discussion began because Lucas does not recognize how much we value him for who he is as our friend. When he lets you, just be there for him. Some of you," He looked at Tim, Miguel, and Ben, "already include him in off-duty activities. Just let him know that you care about him, beyond his skills as a programmer or hacker. Let him know that he's worth something to you in addition to what he can do on with the computers."
"How can he think so little of himself? I mean, he's brilliant and funny and incredibly inventive…" Katie impatiently asked.
"Have you ever told him that?"
"…No….he really doesn't realize these things about himself? How could he not?"
Kristen answered, "I believe we all begin to understand what our gifts and abilities are by what our parents praise and encourage. If, and God I hope we are all wrong, if he has been abused, then he has probably missed this sort of vital parental interaction. For my part, I will try to speak what I've always thought and just assumed that he knew. Really, do any of us get enough positive affirmation that we are important to each other? Perhaps he just needs it more than most. I am also going to keep a closer eye on the rest of the scientists in the labs Lucas uses. He mentioned to us that he'd been the topic of less than friendly gossip…and I am not surprised. After all, we are here speculating about the circumstances that brought him to seaQuest—others will also, and perhaps, with a destructive intent.
Nathan placed his hands on top of the table and stood. "You are dismissed. Please keep this conversation confidential. I have a promise to keep to a certain young man in Med Bay. I told him that 'I'd talk to him later'; I think 'later' has arrived."
To be continued