Disclaimer: Don't own them, never will. Just borrowing them for my own entertainment, and making absolutely no profit doing it. Enjoy!
Too Young
Chapter Seven
Harsh Truths
Nathan felt Lucas stiffen and pull away at Kristen's words.
"Wh..What? I..told you the truth. I've never lied to you…any of you." His voice cracked at the end, but he was succeeding now in his effort to control his emotions.
Nathan let his arms slip away from the boy. Lucas' eyes darted from Kristen's face to his. "Wh..what do you mean, what brought me to SeaQuest? My father brought me here." His voice held little bitterness, and he glanced quickly over to Miguel and Ben. "I'm not sorry he did. I…I..it was just …frightening at first."
"Lucas, you did not come here of your own free will? It was not your choice?" Kristen pulled a rolling stool over and sat in front of the boy.
He glanced sideways at her, unwilling to meet her steady gaze. "I….yes,..my dad insisted that I come here. Of the choices he gave me, this was the best. But I wanted to remain at Stanford until I completed my PhD, and…"
Nathan put his index finger to the boy's lips. He did not want this conversation to get side tracked. Lucas was a master at that, evading subjects that he didn't want to discuss. "Lucas, tell us, tell me about your dreams of the past two weeks—please."
"You and Kristen know about the sunken room at the resort…you were there. That…that's in the past…I…don't want to talk about that."
"Lucas, please—talk to me, to us. We want to understand why you've been so afraid." He waited a moment, then prompted, "This last dream—you were in the conference room with the delegates?"
"Y..Yes. The water…so..c..c..cold, Captain….I ..I trust you, I hope you know that. But my past isn't just about me. I…can't tell you, not now."
"Lucas, you can tell us, trust us. We will help you get free of your father."
Lucas shivered. His father….he loathed and loved his father. He never wanted to see his father again, and he wanted to rest in his father's arms. How could they help him fix things with his father when he didn't know what he wanted? He stuck his shaking hands under his legs. "I…I.. want to tell you, I do, but—it doesn't matter, do you see? It wouldn't matter. You cannot change any of it. And it would be dangerous for me to tell you….all."
Ben knelt next to him. "Lucas, I am your friend."
Lucas smiled softly at him. "Yes, Ben, you are."
Ben continued. "Lucas, I, or any of us, would do whatever it takes to keep you safe from now on…God…you've suffered enough. Let us help you."
Lucas stared at Ben. He knew he meant it—they all did. He could see the conviction on Ben's face, on Miguel's too—but they didn't know what they were getting into, and he didn't have the right to drag them in, did he? No. He did not. He would handle his father himself. He had been doing that for years. He could do it awhile longer.
Nathan's words drew his attention. "Lucas, tell me—tell us…what you have been dreaming."
Nathan was determined to dig this infected splinter of a dream out of the boy's mind. Whatever was in his past was coming out in his dreams. Somehow, the events of the kidnapping had brought these terrifying memories to the surface, and Nathan did not want Lucas to suffer through them alone one more day.
Lucas smiled tremulously at him, but shook his head. "No. I can handle this, my father…don't you see? You can not be involved. You don't know what he's…"
"Capable of?" Nathan finished, and then decided to risk pushing the boy a little. They were running out of time. He swallowed and began, "Lucas, there is no easy way to say this, but both Commander Ford and Lt. Commander Hitchcock have seen the scars on your back."
Lucas' eyes widened, and he opened his mouth, but Nathan continued before he could speak. "Dr. Westphalen and I examined you last night, and…"
He flinched. "You…you what? When….last night? Last night I..I was asleep. You did an exam without my permission? You just…just.. did it?
Lucas' wondering eyes met his, then snapped over to catch Kristen's faltering gaze. "How…how could you do that? What gives you the right to invade…"
His voice was rising.
"Lucas." Nathan's tone stopped the teen cold. The betrayal in Lucas' eyes was devastating, but Nathan had to continue. "Before.." He cleared his throat. "Before we go any further with this conversation—do you want Ben and Miguel to stay? I am sure that they both.."
"Why?!…were they here last night too? Did..did you invite the crew in…to watch?…While you …did…whatever you did? Just how complete an exam was this?" Lucas was red-faced now, and his mouth was trembling with fury. Nathan could see the rage in his narrowed eyes, eyes that a few minutes ago had been wide with fear. This was not going well.
"Lucas," Kristen began. "Do you want them to sta…"
"NO!! No I don't want them to stay! I don't want to stay! How dare you do this…any of this…without my permission? What was the reason for this? You just couldn't wait to talk to me? Sedate me and then…do this? Why didn't you just WAKE ME UP??" Lucas shouted at them, now absolutely furious.
Involuntarily, Miguel stepped forward, remembering having to hold the screaming boy down just a little while ago. Lucas saw the movement.
"LEAVE!!" He shouted. "Just..just…leave…please.." His voice broke at the end.
Ben leaned forward as if to hug Lucas, but the boy, shamed beyond words, twisted away from him.
Miguel took Ben's arm and half led, half dragged him out of the room. "Just give him some space, Ben…let them talk to him." Miguel's voice trailed off as they left, closing the door behind them.
Lucas stared at the floor. Oh, God…did they know everything? Yet..what could they know? The physical damage to his back, yes. But that was such a small part of what happened…
Kristen startled him when she took his clenched fist in her hands. "Lucas, please look at me. As your physician, I made the decision that I could not wait for you to awaken. And I believed that we needed an immediate confirmation of what we suspected to be true."
"What…what you suspected?" Lucas' hand shook in hers. His voice was low now, raw from shouting.
"We had come to believe that your father…abused you.. that, indeed, your back was beaten raw when you came aboard four months ago."
Lucas closed his eyes. He wanted to remove his hand from hers, but he needed the contact, too. He would miss this…miss her. And the Captain….He feared this day above even the beatings inflicted by his drunken father. Now, they would tell him that they couldn't handle this sort of problem here. They would refer him to a counselor…the counselor would call social services, and he would find himself in a different place, with strangers paid by the state to take him in. Eventually, usually in just a few weeks, his father would bribe someone, and the child abuse report would…go away. Back to his father's house he would go. How many times had he lived this? Four? Five? No. This would be number five. He couldn't do this again. And now that he was almost old enough, he had made his own arrangements to prevent it. But his timing was off; his plan had begun, but he was not yet ready to put the final part in action. Bad luck, Lucas. Big surprise…Lucas has bad luck.
Nathan had been studying the boy's face. He said hestitantly, "Lucas, you asked about the exam. I gave Dr. Westphalen permission to proceed. Kristen just looked at your back and took x-rays. It was not a complete physical….but it was enough. I'm sure you know very well what we found."
Lucas just waited. He wanted them to get it over with already. Why didn't they just tell him who would be picking him up and when? He felt like he was caught in a time loop, replaying the same disgustingly familiar series of events. He hoped…oh he hoped that this time would be different---this time he and those he loved would be free.
For a while, all three sat in silence. Kristen wanted to draw the teen close, but she was afraid that he would push her away. She had betrayed him. So she settled for holding his hand.
Nathan looked at their joined hands. He put his own over both, and the tenderness of it surprised Kristen. Lucas looked over at him, and Nathan saw the hopelessness in the boy's eyes. They were dark with fear and pain. He didn't know what to say, but he knew he must do his best for this child they both loved. "Lucas..when we…when I saw all of your x-rays, I wanted to …hurt your father…I still want to. But as much as I want that, I want to help you more. Please tell us what you want….you need from us. Secretary-General Noyce…Bill..also said that he would help you however he can…."
Lucas eyes widened. "Secretary-General Noyce? How does he know….any…of this?
Nathan squeezed the hands under his. "I didn't …intend to tell him, but when he called with our new orders.."
"It just slipped out?" Lucas smiled coldly. Nathan's stomach clenched when he saw how much, with this expression, the boy resembled Lawrence.
"No. NO! Lucas, Bill's orders involved picking him up at Pearl to transport him to World Power."
Lucas jerked his hand free from theirs. He hugged himself. Oh, man. Were they just taking him to his father, then? Maybe, maybe…his timing didn't stink after all. If he could just get a hold of Mike…
Nathan had gently covered his hand again. Lucas looked up at him and wondered at the pain he saw in his Captain's eyes. "Lucas….your…your..father is with Bill. We are supposed to pick them both up by tomorrow morning."
Lucas smiled grimly. "Good…that should make it easier on you to transfer me to him. That's why he's coming, right? He wants me to do something for him? He's taking me away with him…"
"Lucas…we don't want you to go, but your father has custody of you, and we need you.."
"..To go with him?"
"No! No…we need you to help us…help you..help you get away from him…you need to tell us what he's done to you—and you telling us about these dreams will be a good starting point. Lucas…please. The physical evidence is here, on this table, but we need your corroboration to build a case against your father. "
Lucas just glared at the two of them. His entire body was shaking now. He did not want this, any of this…he sighed heavily, then sat, silent.
Kristen glanced at Nathan. Then she spoke the words that she hoped would push him to reveal his secrets. "Lucas, tell us about your father…and the well..and the rats."
Lucas paled as she spoke, his breathing became jerky, and for a few minutes, Kristen thought that she had pushed too hard, that he would faint. Nathan put his hand around Lucas' waist to support him, but the teen scooted away. He was shaking harder now, tremors in his hands and twitches around his eyes revealed how much adrenaline was pumping through his bloodstream.
"I…I..told you, I've already done this. I don't want to go through it again." He briefly met Nathan's eyes, then looked at the floor again. He realized that they were not…would not give up—maybe, maybe they would….understand? He didn't know what to do anymore. He sighed, running his hands through his hair.
Nathan had been studying the boy. Lucas' eyes were downcast, but his face wore a familiar look of concentration, like he was wrestling with a problem, unable to decide on a solution.
Lucas' eyes skated back up to the Captain's face. He was so afraid. What options did he have now? He could stay quiet and let his dad take him—his father would be here in a few hours. Lucas shivered and pushed that thought aside. He concentrated instead on the last four months…the people here he'd come to know. He trusted them…The captain, Dr. Westphalen, Ben, Tim, Miguel, Jonathan, Katie, Chief Crocker. He remembered the last time he'd been forced to talk—forced to confront his past. He took a chance then…what..what should he do? He was tired of fighting them, fighting to keep them out. He decided to ….give…up. Give in to them, tell them everything…eventually. But he…he would choose how he told it, when he told it…like before. He straightened, resolute in his decision, and turned to Kristen.
"I..I talked to a counselor.."
"When?" Kristen looked curious. She wondered at his words, and wanted so much to ease his pain, the anguish that these dreams brought.
"At Stanford. My..my dorm supervisor made an appointment for me with his minister…I was waking my room mate up most nights with my screaming. He got sick of it and complained to Mike.."
"Mike was your dorm supervisor?"
"Yes"
"Did the counselor..the minister..help you?"
Did counseling help him…the simple answer was 'yes'. Counseling had helped him immensely. He'd made Mike promise first that the counselor would keep it all in confidence—social services had failed Lucas too many times, and he didn't trust the uncertainty of the state foster homes; he'd rather take his chances with his dad…or his mother's boyfriend. He shuddered. So, he had trusted Mike, and Mike's minister…and that had led to the best things in his life. He'd gotten to know Mike and his family…that had changed his life. In the minister's office, he'd let go of all of it—every event that he could remember from his childhood. After weeks of counseling, he had felt…better…whole. He still didn't know how much of that to attribute to the sessions or to Mike's family. They had taken him in during the summer break at Stanford. He had learned for the first time what a 'normal' family was like. He smiled at the memory.
Lucas had calmed considerably, almost recovered from his first reaction when Kristen had used the words from his dream. He had a slight tremor in his voice, but the trust shone from his eyes as he gazed from one to the other. Nathan did not know what his next words cost him, but he did know that he would personally severely discipline any crewmember who betrayed this boy.
"I..I..only can do this once, and I'd like, if it is all right with you," He looked at them. "I'd like to have the senior crew hear about all of…this..from me. My…my.. father will be on board soon, and I want…I need to tell you about him…and about me."
Nathan nodded. "I think that is an excellent idea."
"This…this will be…hard."
"I know, but we will help you all that we can—I need to schedule this, and arrange for the third shift to cover for them. How about we meet in the wardroom in one hour?"
"O.K." Lucas looked very afraid, but more settled. Nathan patted the boy's knee and left to arrange everything.
Lucas sat on the bed. Kristen placed her hand on the back of his head and stroked his fair hair. It felt soft as it ran through and under her fingers. He leaned toward her, and now, she felt the freedom to gather him into her arms. He cried quietly; she could feel his shoulders shaking. She cried too, thankful that he had forgiven her, wishing that she could spare him the pain she knew he would experience in the telling, but hoping…hoping that by talking about it all he could move past it…eventually banish it all from his dreams. To heal. Please, God…to heal.
The senior staff was present when Dr. Westphalen and Lucas walked into the wardroom. Lucas had been terrified of this moment short hours ago. But now…while no means relaxed…he was..calm. They would hear it all and accept him, or…reject him. He didn't know what would happen once his father came aboard, but Lucas knew that these people, especially, deserved to know about his relationship with his father. They would hear it from Lucas directly. He set his file on the table.
"Lucas, Dr. Westphalen, please sit down. The agenda is yours, Lucas, and there is no schedule, so take all the time that you need—if you need a break, let me know. We are present at your request to hear your account of your dreams, and what led you to be placed on seaQuest. While we were waiting for the two of you to arrive, I took the liberty of letting everyone know that you had had another dream in Med Bay. Miguel and Ben helped me to relay what happened accurately…"
Lucas looked at each of them for a long moment. As he met their eyes, he wondered, when this was over, would he see pity, or disgust, or rejection in their eyes? Or would he still see what he sees now—understanding, and friendship, and…love.
Ben smiled encouragingly at him. Lucas gave him a small smile in return. He loved Ben—if he'd had a choice in all of the world for a brother, he would have chosen Ben. Ben loved him unconditionally…and Ben was…fun.
Tim met his eyes and nodded. Lucas knew that Tim would pray for him, that God would help him through this. Tim had a kind heart, and Lucas loved him for it.
Miguel grinned at him when Lucas met his eyes. Lucas remembered how Miguel had taught him to play poker, and he laughed at every game when Lucas cleaned them all out. 'He is still trying to get me to teach him how to count cards.' Lucas thought. He loved Miguel.
Chief Crocker sent him strength in his steady gaze. Lucas remembered his kindness to him from the first day. When he arrived on the MR-7, the Chief had made sure that he knew his way around, taking the time to give him a tour and even to carry his bag to his cabin— although he was swamped that day with work. He loved the Chief. Commander Ford sat next to the Chief. The Commander looked at Lucas and then lifted his chin. Lucas almost laughed out loud. It was their secret signal. 'The captain's right behind you' it said, 'watch it!' It had taken awhile for him to get to know Jonathan, but his life was richer for it. He loved him.
Lt. Commander Hitchcock smiled softly. Oh, she was beautiful. He admired her fierce dedication to perfection. She was the best engineer he had ever worked with, and she had always treated him as an equal. He loved Katie.
At the head of the table, Dr. Westphalen winked at him. He had had wonderful dreams, so many times, that she was his mother. Although she sometimes smothered him with advice and scolding, he secretly relished it, knowing that she only did so because she loved him. How he loved Kristen.
He looked next to him, where Captain Bridger sat. The Captain had his hand palm up on the table. Lucas looked at him, puzzled….then understood. If he needed it, the Captain would 'hold his hand' through this. He'd give him the courage to see it through to the end. Oh, he admired this man. Respected him above all others, and deeply envied his dead son, Robert, for having Nathan Hale Bridger for a father. He loved Nathan.
He looked down at the file that he had brought with him. Inside was his medical life story. He had hacked most of it from St. Mary's in Buffalo, but some parts had been given to him by Dr. Emil Harris. During those three years when Dr. Harris visited the Wolenczak home often—the drunk years—Lawrence called them, Emil Harris had documented every injury he'd treated. He had charged Lawrence exorbitant prices each time, and had lived well on the proceeds.
Lucas had received the Doctor's file at his death, with a long, rambling letter of apology. Emil Harris had hung himself in his basement when Lucas was eleven. Lucas knew that Dr. Harris had suffered from depression. He had tried to kill himself years before Lawrence even met him. But Lucas still wished that he had told the man that he had ceased to hold him responsible for his part in hiding the abuse. He had forgiven him years ago for his part in it. Lucas took one last look around the table, at these people who had come to mean so much to him in the last four months.
He took a deep breath, and began. "My… father will be coming on board tomorrow morning with Secy. General Noyce." He paused. "I know my…behavior of the last few days has caused you to believe that I am…abused by my father. You need to know from me what really happened, and how and why I ended up on seaQuest….." His hands were shaking. He poured himself a glass of water, drank some, and then set it down. "I..I have been having nightmares about something my father did to me when…I was much younger." He swallowed. "I was…seven the first time he took me to the carriage house. He wanted to 'teach me a lesson'. My dad is what is known as a 'mean drunk'. Most of the time, he did not remember what he did while he was drunk. The years between my sixth and ninth birthdays were filled with uncertainty…I..I..tried so hard to please him, and sometimes, there were good times. But for those three years, Dad drank heavily. When he was drunk, his…disappointment..in..me came out."
"Lucas," Kristen started.
He said softly. "No…please…let me finish this—I've been dreaming about the well in the carriage house. Dad…would…put me in there, and then put a garden hose over the rim..and…and turn it on. The well took about nine hours to fill up to the top."
"Oh, Lucas." Ben's eyes were horrified. Katie put her arm around him—she was crying.
"I…I…had to learn to survive…to climb out---he would turn on the water and leave…it was so..c..c..cold."
Nathan took the boy's hand. Lucas jerked slightly, startled. Then he gave Nathan a crooked smile and continued, now with a stronger voice. "One particular time, it was the second time my…dad..used this punishment, my dad had come home early. He had just lost funding for his latest energy project, but I didn't know that until much later. My mom was at a conference with a…colleague.. and when I came home from school. Dad was already very drunk. He met me at the door. He…he..yelled..a lot; I didn't understand most of what he said, but as soon as I realized where he was taking me, I panicked. He…he was infuriated at my resistance…and it got…ugly quick. When he threw me in the well, my arm.." He gestured to the bandage on his right arm. "..was badly broken." He closed his eyes for a moment, reliving it. "I…I almost died that afternoon, and by the time I crawled over the rim of the well, it was pretty late at night. I couldn't feel much of anything…I…was..so..so..c..cold. I..lay beside the opening to the well.. and I guess I passed out. When..when I woke up…there were rats c..chewing on my arm, around the..the protruding bone of my right arm---they were eating me." He stopped again, trembling. Nathan stood up and handed him the glass of water.
"Do you want to take a break?"
"No..no, you need to understand..how it was." He couldn't meet anyone's eyes. He was afraid that if he saw any disgust or rejection there, he wouldn't be able to finish this. "My…father heard me screaming—he had sobered up a bit by then, and he came running. When he came in the door, most of the r..r.ats scattered. I..I..needed his help badly, but…I..t..t..tried to push him away—he stomped on the rats still around me. Then…he..picked me up. I was still fighting him…but then I s..s..saw that he was crying, crying about what he had seen, and how he had found me. Later, after Dr. Harris had set my arm and cleaned up the b..bites, my..father…held me..on his lap. He held me all night. Whenever I woke up in pain or screaming, he was there..he..he didn't remember putting me in the well…he hasn't remembered any of the times…he didn't remember it. Don't you see? He didn't…remember."
Lucas stared at the file folder. He didn't look at any of them, even when they began speaking.
"Doctor..how ..is that possible?" Jonathan questioned, his impassive expression belied by his tear filled eyes. "Kristen..can it be that he really does..not..remember?"
Kristen cleared her throat, blinking back her own tears. "It's…possible. It depends on how much he drank. His mind could black out, not record the memory, while he still remained conscious and functioning."
Lucas took another sip of water. His hand shook so that he slopped it on the table when he tried to set it down. "You…understand? He still doesn't remember any of it. Oh he would get heavy handed when he drank, slap me sometimes, and once he pushed me up against the kitchen cabinets, but as soon as his temper would flare, it would extinguish, and then…he…he would cry…say he was sorry…that it would never happen again. He'd promise me…never again."
"Lucas," Katie said softly, tentatively. "What about your..your back? That's not 'heavy handed' that's torture."
Lucas met her eyes, shock stiffening him. "My father would never…dad didn't do that. My mother's…boyfriend did that." He shuddered at the memory. "When I was eight, Carl…beat me for the first time. My dad was at rehab…a private clinic in Virginia. Mom brought Carl to the house the second week dad was away. My mom and dad were divorced last year, but previous to that—they just lived separate lives in the same house."
"Why not go ahead and divorce?" This from Ben.
"Scandal, bad press—they both needed to be a part of a perfect family unit sometimes for social functions and fundraisers. They were…discreet…about their other involvements. I had never met Carl before that day, but my…mom had apparently been bragging about my computer skills, specifically my talent as a programmer and hacker. Carl decided that I could set up an on-line casino for him…program the games to his advantage—to his heavy advantage. Mom had introduced us and then been called in to work. I thought Carl had left with her..until..he came into my room. He was nice at first, explaining his plan several times. He even offered to 'cut me in on a piece of his action'. Those were the words he used. I refused, and when he understood that I was serious, he …he took off his belt to punish me. When I woke up he had tied my hands to my bedpost. He did his best…to convince me. He had cut off my shirt, and…when I still said no…he tore the cable off t..the printer..fr..from my desk…he..hit m..me…I..I.."
Nathan put his hand on Lucas' back and rubbed gently. "You don't have to tell us all the details of this if it is too much for you."
"Th..thanks." Lucas fought to get his voice under control. He did not want to talk about Carl…
"Where..where was your mother?" Kristen's ragged voice questioned.
"She ignored me mostly. By the time she got home from work, it was late. Carl had…finished his lesson, untied me, and put me under the covers. He said he'd…k..kill me if I told anyone. I believed him. When mom came in to say good night, I pretended to be sleeping. I spent the next week in bed; I didn't have to act much to convince her that I was ill. And Carl was very solicitous. He volunteered to take care of me during the day while my mom was at work. That was extra incentive to get better, I guess. By the time my dad came home, Carl was gone, and I was up walking around."
"Lucas…your father did not notice? How..how could he not?" Miguel looked sick and sad.
"Dad…couldn't be bothered to notice me, most of the time. I've…been a disappointment…to him. Over the years, I've come to realize that what he really wanted…was just an ordinary…intellectually average kid. Not the genius freak doing calculus at three years old."
"LUCAS!! You are not a freak." Kristen scolded him. "You are a wonderful, incredible person who…"
"..Who is not an ordinary boy. I can never be what my dad really wants, a son he can mold and shape to follow in his footsteps, to continue his work…he wanted that, wants that more than anything."
Lucas' voice held steady, but he had tears tracing silver lines down his face. "I can't be what he wants…and it hurts…him and me. I love him…and I know that he loves me, but we just…hurt each other. He only calls…contacts me…when he needs something. I wish…I want it to be different, but I don't know how to make it better."
He rubbed the tears away with the heels of his hands. "This file…it's my complete medical record, doctor…I…acquired most of it legally. I know that you were trying to help me…and I appreciate it. I have carefully considered taking my father to court, but I rejected that option years ago, shortly after I went through counseling at Stanford. He didn't know…then..what Carl did, and he didn't remember my most…painful..moments with him. So…I did what I could for me, for my own survival…I forgave him. He is who he is. He doesn't drink any more, and he hasn't for years. He hasn't hit me since I was ten years old. Most of the…damage you saw on the x-rays took place before my 9th birthday."
"Lucas, what about your back—you were bleeding when you came aboard—I saw it." Crocker's thoughtful voice clashed with his strained expression, and Lucas wondered---was this harder for him to hear, or harder for me to say?
"My father had been away, out of the country. He'd missed my graduation ceremony, but my mom came. Unfortunately, Carl came with her—they paid me a visit at the..apartment I had at the time. I hadn't realized that they were even at the ceremony, so when I answered the door, I was shocked. I..hadn't seen my mom in fourteen months. She and Carl came in and looked around. I…I was polite, at first, but when they invited…me to dinner to celebrate, I refused. I was rude at that point. I had been on my way out the door to a party, and here they were…after all this time…I didn't want to spend any time with either one of them."
"Don't blame you there." Ben muttered. Katie shushed him.
"My…mom called me a few names and left for the car. But Carl…stayed. He started screaming, swearing…at me. When he began smashing things, I picked up the phone to call the police, but he ripped the cord out of the wall. He..tore.. the phone cord out of the vidlink and…started hitting me. He was shouting…raging..hitting and kicking me. I…don't remember what he…did to my back, I wasn't awake for it. I don't remember much about that next few days. But Mike told me later that my…dad found me. He came to see the graduation, but got the times wrong. He arrived at my apartment shortly after Carl left. After I was discharged from the hospital, he…wanted me to file charges against mom and Carl—I refused. He wanted me to start to work for him at World Power, but I refused that as well. I wanted to stay at Stanford…to stay with Mike and his…family. To finish my PhD and take care of….things.
Nathan wondered at Lucas' repeated hesitations. It was like he was editing his account as he was saying it. What was he leaving out of this story?
"Dad tried reasonable arguments: he needed me at World Power, and it wouldn't hurt to delay my PhD. I would also be able to continue my research in an underwater environment. When those inducements didn't work, he threatened to pull my school funds, but I had other income. And when he found out about that, he used his 'custody card'. By this time, dad knew about…all the things…with Carl, and he'd had mom's custody rights revoked—she surrendered them without a fight. I was a minor, in his care, and he couldn't care for me properly unless I went to World Power or he found someone else to care for me. So, he gave me a choice—go to World Power, go to seaQuest, or go to a foster home. He knew that I would choose to go with him to World Power. He was furious with me when I chose seaQuest. That was when he finally approached the UEO with the vocorder prototype. Admiral Noyce agreed to accept me on the seaQuest as a member of the science team. I was still…recovering...from Carl's attentions when dad dropped me off. Dad was still so angry…he..he didn't even say goodbye." Lucas glanced at Chief Crocker and Miguel as he remembered that first day.
"And that was four months ago." He finished.
He stole a glance at Tim first. Tim had his head down, but he looked up when the room fell silent. Lucas saw grief, anger, sadness…and love? Tim still cared for him? One by one, Lucas met their eyes. None refused to meet his. Katie and Kristen were crying, but they both tried to smile at him.
He said softly, "Don't cry…please…I..it's over, don't cry. I..I'm glad I'm here, and …I don't want to leave…I want to stay…if you…still want me?"
His voice wavered brokenly as he said the last few words. Nathan turned to him and gathered the boy into his arms. "Yes..yes we want you here. We…love you, Lucas. Don't you know that?"
Lucas' head rested briefly against Nathan's chest, and he fiercely returned the hug. "I…love you too, Captain. I love you all."
"So," Ben said weakly. "Now that we're not going to kill your…father, what are we going to do about keeping you on the seaQuest?"
Everyone gaped at Ben for a moment. Miguel began laughing first, then it spread to Tim, Crocker…and even Jonathan smiled a little.
"What??" Ben said. And at that, Katie and Kristen joined in. As the laughter trailed off, Ben gave Lucas a small smile. He had released a lot of the tension in the room. Lucas smiled back. Ben was a lot more sensitive than most people gave him credit for being.
"We…are not going to do anything. I have a plan. Well, Mike and I have a plan." Lucas said firmly. "I..I need you to trust me. I wanted to meet with my dad anyway. He has been refusing my mail and my calls, so this face-to-face meeting has become necessary. Right now, I need to call Mike and see if I can arrange things by tomorrow morning."
"Who, exactly, is Mike?" Kristen asked. "I know you have mentioned him several times, and he is the one who—thank God—got you into counseling. But what does he have to do with this? With keeping you here rather than going to World Power?"
He hesitated. "I want to save most of this until Secretary General Noyce and my father are on board. But..Mike was a third year law student when he and his family supervised my dorm. Currently…Mike is my…lawyer."
The room fell silent. Ben finally stammered. "Your…lawyer? You're too young to have a lawyer…"
Lucas laughed. He couldn't help it. Leave to Ben to say the perfect thing. They all looked stunned, and he supposed he couldn't blame them for that. Ben had used the perfect phrase. 'Too young.' He'd been 'too young' his whole short life. 'Too young' to do the things he could do…'Too young' for high school…'too young' for college…way 'too young' for submarine duty---'too young' for the life he had waiting for him at Stanford if he ever got free of his father's control. He needed to talk to Mike.
"Captain…may I go? I have some calls to make."
He slid his file to Dr. Westphalen. She just stared at him.
"Please…trust..me. I…I want to stay on seaQuest, but I need to deal with my father in my own way. He will be here in less than fourteen hours, and I have .."
"To what?" Nathan spoke sharply. "What is your plan? I don't want to see you hurt ever again, and I know that you have said that your father is…rehabilitated…and you've forgiven him—but I don't trust him, and you will not be alone with him anywhere on seaQuest."
Lucas' eyes met Nathan's. "It…it has helped me, probably more than I realize now, to have you all know my past…I trust you, and if you feel that strongly, I owe it to you to respect that. I'll talk to my dad here, O.K.? You can be here if you wish…" He looked at everyone in the room, an open invitation. "I..I just thought that I would have a better chance convincing him to let me stay if I spoke to him alone."
"Absolutely not." Nathan's voice stopped the discussion.
"I… O.K., Captain. I'll do as you wish." Lucas capitulated gracefully. "Thank..thank you for arranging this meeting today, and thank you all for coming…for..for listening." His blue eyes met each person's around the table once more. He was crying, now, but he smiled slightly. Then, with the Captain's nod of dismissal, he turned and left the wardroom.
Ben looked around wonderingly. "He…he has a lawyer?"
Katie punched him on the arm. "Come on Ben, guys..I'll buy you dinner."
To be continued
Next…Lawrence on Board