Falling into Darkness
By: Lily
Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King or Hao. Though…I'd like to own Hao or be owned by Hao. ;_;
A/N: Warnings: Too much confusion, a Hao that isn't in character really, bad grammar, insanity and depression.
A/N 2: Thanks to Wusai for beta-ing and putting up with my non-comma-ness. To everyone else who will read this and like it. And…people who like Hao and understand his eventual madness.
A/N 3: This is a Hao-centered fic and the setting would be 1000 years ago before the series. Hao's past has always been a mystery and there's not a lot that's known about him, past or present. This gives me the perfect opportunity to indulge in creating a past for him. There are some spoilers about Hao in here so watch out for those. Otherwise, enjoy~!
Chapter 1 – Fear and No Control
It comes again, and he shudders convulsively. The pain and the hatred wraps around him, lovingly and seductively. He can't hear his own thoughts as the many emotions and thoughts flow into his mind. Drowning him in despair and fear, he's driven down to his knees, and he clutches helplessly at his head.
"Stop it…STOP IT!"
His words are meaningless and, Asakura Hao knows this.
He's known it ever since the first wave had swept over him. The waves of emotions and thoughts that he can sense with his empathy are uncontrollable at this moment. He knows this and he hates it.
::Demon! He's a demon! We'll all die from him! He'll cause our deaths! KILL HIM!::
::…Oh god. Help me. He's going to beat me. Someone help me…Please!::
::Tomorrow I shall kill my brother. Tomorrow. I will have all of his lands! All of them.::
::Why?! Why do you hate me, Ritsuko? I love you! I love you! Come back to me!::
Hao shudders again and collapses onto the tatami mats, feeling his hands scrape against the rough surface as he falls. He shakes his head and trembles helplessly. He can stop it. He can stop it if he just wills it all away.
He forces his lungs to take a breath, and he hears an intake of shaky breath. The air is welcome, but it does nothing to ease the pain. It's not working, even as he demands that his empathy obey. So all he does is lie upon the cold, matted floor, and hope that it ends soon.
He hears millions of thoughts, and he feels thousands of emotions. They blend in his own mind, and he can no longer tell which thoughts or emotions are his own. Everything blurs before his eyes, and then he slips gladly into the relief of unconsciousness.
When Hao awoke later, the wave has subsided to a bearable amount again. Gingerly, he sat up, and grimaced when stiff muscles protested his movements. Cold sweat beaded his forehead, and he could feel that, beneath his white robes, his back was also damp with sweat.
He took several shuddering breaths, and was glad that he had managed to order away all the servants before he had lost his control over his powers. For once, it was blessing that they were terrified of him. He ignored that thought as soon as it had come to mind.
There was something more important that lurked on his mind. The fits were becoming more and more frequent; he knew that soon he wouldn't be able to control them any further.
Whoever had said that being powerful and feared was a good thing had to be insane.
Hao sighed softly and forced his legs to move so that he could stand up. He wavered dangerously on his feet, his vision graying, and he took a sharp breath. Stumbling blindly across his chambers, he leant against the closest wall until his stomach didn't threaten to splatter what little he had for supper upon the floor.
"Well…isn't this pathetic?"
Hao muttered to himself, and the large, empty room merely echoes his words back to him. There's no one here; he's here, alone. His fingernails dug into his palm, hard enough to draw blood. He lifted his hand up and stares as beads of red slowly slid down his hand.
He felt like laughing, and the hysterical laughter that always threatened to bubble from his throat felt almost unbearable. Somehow, he managed to restrain the bitter laughter, and only what sounded like a choked whimper slipped from his mouth.
"Damn it…damn it all…"
Viciously, he punched the wall, ignoring the pain that went as far as to numb his knuckles. However, this is as far as emotions carried him, and soon, he stumbled towards the futon laid out upon the floor. His feet fell out from under him just as he reached the futon.
Blessed sleep comes, but his dreams are hardly sweet. Filled with the calls of restless souls, images and voices screamed endlessly at him. He heard all of their calls, he felt all of their pain, and he cannot do anything. Then, when it felt as if Hao can take no more, silence and darkness take over, and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
To be continued….
Review and comment please~? ;_; I love comments!