Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any recognizable characters
and/or places thereof
*****
"Legolas? Legolas, come, I know you are awake," said a voice the prince knew well. Legolas ignored this, staying still, staring at the wall in front of his eyes. "You are wide awake and can hear me speaking, Legolas Greenleaf," in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Go away," Legolas mouthed, hoping his companion would get the message and leave him be. She did no such thing. Legolas was lying in bed, motionless, feeling nothing and staring straight ahead without seeing anything. He was unsure of what was going on around him, and frankly he did not care. He only cared that Nal go away and let him rest.
"Very well," replied the girl. "I shall sit here and speak to you, for I know you can hear me." She drew up a stool beside his bed, and sat upon it. Legolas did not need to look to see her face: her mouth was set in a thin line, her eyes serious. It would look as though she was staring off to the right, but that was just how Nal was. "You cannot blame yourself for everything, Legolas."
"And what if I want to?" he asked angrily, sitting up and turning towards her in one motion. "Huh? What then, Nal? Do you not have all the answers? What if I want to blame myself for everything?"
Her eyes frosted over in pain, and Legolas felt bad about hurting her. A part of him wanted to apologize, but that good part of him was suffering now. Nal's eyes flashed back to normal as she clapped her hands like a child. "I knew it! I knew you were awake, Legolas!"
*****
Legolas sighed as he copied the document his father had asked for. Every word of it seemed to be more and more boring. Never mind that he needed to practice Westron, this document would have been boring in Sindarin, boring in Quenya, and it was boring and gibberish in Westron. The library was noiseless, so quiet Legolas fancied he heard the flaps of the wings of a moth that flew in the half-light coming in from one of the windows. He wished that something, anything, would happen.
"Legolas! Legolas," it was a page, Legolas saw, and he gratefully looked up, hoping the young Elf--who had tried to stop at too fast of a pace and fallen painfully--brought some other duty that needed to be carried out. "Your highness," said the Elfling breathlessly, bowing then quickly adding, "you are needed. I'm to lead you. Come."
*****
"So what if I am awake?" Legolas asked tiredly.
"Oh, no, you will not do that," Nal chided.
"Do what?" Legolas returned, knowing full well what she meant.
"Request the meaning of each statement I make," Nal replied, raising one eyebrow slightly. "I know you, Legolas, as I have since we were small children, and I--" she was cut off by Legolas, who moaned. "What is it?"
"Don't. . .mention children," he said, his voice faltering. Nal gave him a compassionate look. Legolas felt very raw all at once, and he drew his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them. "Nal. . .what have I done?"
*****
"Nal," Legolas said, his voice drowned out among other shouts surrounding him. He nocked an arrow to his bow, standing beside her. "What is happening?" Nal let her own arrow fly before answering.
"There's been a small rebellion," Nal replied. In the time she took to say this, she sent two arrows flying and readied another. "They have driven us back to the stronghold." Whoosh, the air sang as it was cut by her arrows. "Orders are to shoot, but not to kill. Subdue but not kill."
Legolas saw that the Elves who had risen up against his father were not many in number, especially now that so many had been grievously wounded or killed. Many bodies were piling up. . ."So many have died already," he observed.
"The orders are wishful, my Prince," Nal replied, her attention not wavering as she let fly yet more arrows. "They fight to the death, and likely will go on to the last Elf is taken down." In a confidential tone she added, "Just try not to shoot the littler ones."
*****
"You have done your duty, sire," Nal replied in the voice of a soldier.
Legolas looked at her, his eyes speaking things that words cannot describe. There was a dead look to them. "What have I done as a person, Nal?" he asked, swallowing a great lump in his throat as tears clouded his vision.
"You are a prince, Legolas, and that comes first. You know this. What you did was right," she said as if with firmly placed faith. Yet Legolas knew that Nal did not believe this. She doubted him as a person, as a warrior, and as a leader. "They had no reason to rebel, Legolas. They only sought for someone to blame for the darkening of the forests, and your father, well. . .rulers are sometimes just in easy position for such things. The elders among them remembered the forest as it was, and would die before seeing it as the place it may yet become."
"And the youths?"
Nal shook her head sadly. "Caught in the crossfire."
*****
Legolas nocked another arrow. The number of enemies was visibly thinning. He took careful aim of an Elf carrying what seemed to be a slingshot of some sort, and not doing a bad job with it either. This Elf knew what he was doing, as he shouted and cried Legolas was sure he was either a leader or a devoted follower.
Only seconds before he let his arrow fly, Nal turned to get another missile. Bringing the arrow to her bow she hit Legolas on the elbow accidentally. He recoiled, turning slightly as his arrow slipped from his bow. The twist had seemed so subtle that he thought this would be a kill shot for the Elf he aimed for.
Legolas could not have been more wrong. He only saw her a moment before the arrow hit, plunging through her chest. She was small, at most eight years old, with strawberry-blonde hair pulled back from her face. She looked confused, as if she did not know what was happening or understand why. In her hand was a short knife, but she wielded it as though she had no intention of harming anyone. The arrow was almost as big as she was, and as soon as it went through she fell to her knees.
The world around Legolas blurred. He could not catch his breath, as though he had been punched in the stomach. Did I really do that? He asked himself over and over again. Each time, the answer was that he had. Has bow slipped from his hands and he hardly noticed it. I killed a child, he said to himself. I slaughtered a little girl.
*****
Legolas could not stop the tears from flowing, but they did not obscure his vision. They slipped from the corners of his eyes and slithered down his cheeks, dropping onto the coverlet. "I killed her," he whispered.
"I caused you to move," Nal said. "I also killed her. Legolas, do you recall when I first said I wished to be a warrior? People said that women are too soft for the position. I shot three children through with arrows today, and I caused you to shoot a fourth. If I give up my status, I let down every female in Mirkwood. Right now, I bet you are ready to give up your life."
"Yes," Legolas replied. "Why should I not? A life for a life."
"But my friend, that would be taking two lives and returning none. You have extreme power within your hands. Your bow holds the power to destroy, and also to protect. Any force of ill can be used as a force of goodness."
"You are a comfort to me, Nal," Legolas said, and he meant it.
"Then you will return to your daily life again?" she asked, partially beseeching him.
"I will but for one thing: never again shall I wield my bow."
*****
"Legolas? Legolas, come, I know you are awake," said a voice the prince knew well. Legolas ignored this, staying still, staring at the wall in front of his eyes. "You are wide awake and can hear me speaking, Legolas Greenleaf," in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Go away," Legolas mouthed, hoping his companion would get the message and leave him be. She did no such thing. Legolas was lying in bed, motionless, feeling nothing and staring straight ahead without seeing anything. He was unsure of what was going on around him, and frankly he did not care. He only cared that Nal go away and let him rest.
"Very well," replied the girl. "I shall sit here and speak to you, for I know you can hear me." She drew up a stool beside his bed, and sat upon it. Legolas did not need to look to see her face: her mouth was set in a thin line, her eyes serious. It would look as though she was staring off to the right, but that was just how Nal was. "You cannot blame yourself for everything, Legolas."
"And what if I want to?" he asked angrily, sitting up and turning towards her in one motion. "Huh? What then, Nal? Do you not have all the answers? What if I want to blame myself for everything?"
Her eyes frosted over in pain, and Legolas felt bad about hurting her. A part of him wanted to apologize, but that good part of him was suffering now. Nal's eyes flashed back to normal as she clapped her hands like a child. "I knew it! I knew you were awake, Legolas!"
*****
Legolas sighed as he copied the document his father had asked for. Every word of it seemed to be more and more boring. Never mind that he needed to practice Westron, this document would have been boring in Sindarin, boring in Quenya, and it was boring and gibberish in Westron. The library was noiseless, so quiet Legolas fancied he heard the flaps of the wings of a moth that flew in the half-light coming in from one of the windows. He wished that something, anything, would happen.
"Legolas! Legolas," it was a page, Legolas saw, and he gratefully looked up, hoping the young Elf--who had tried to stop at too fast of a pace and fallen painfully--brought some other duty that needed to be carried out. "Your highness," said the Elfling breathlessly, bowing then quickly adding, "you are needed. I'm to lead you. Come."
*****
"So what if I am awake?" Legolas asked tiredly.
"Oh, no, you will not do that," Nal chided.
"Do what?" Legolas returned, knowing full well what she meant.
"Request the meaning of each statement I make," Nal replied, raising one eyebrow slightly. "I know you, Legolas, as I have since we were small children, and I--" she was cut off by Legolas, who moaned. "What is it?"
"Don't. . .mention children," he said, his voice faltering. Nal gave him a compassionate look. Legolas felt very raw all at once, and he drew his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them. "Nal. . .what have I done?"
*****
"Nal," Legolas said, his voice drowned out among other shouts surrounding him. He nocked an arrow to his bow, standing beside her. "What is happening?" Nal let her own arrow fly before answering.
"There's been a small rebellion," Nal replied. In the time she took to say this, she sent two arrows flying and readied another. "They have driven us back to the stronghold." Whoosh, the air sang as it was cut by her arrows. "Orders are to shoot, but not to kill. Subdue but not kill."
Legolas saw that the Elves who had risen up against his father were not many in number, especially now that so many had been grievously wounded or killed. Many bodies were piling up. . ."So many have died already," he observed.
"The orders are wishful, my Prince," Nal replied, her attention not wavering as she let fly yet more arrows. "They fight to the death, and likely will go on to the last Elf is taken down." In a confidential tone she added, "Just try not to shoot the littler ones."
*****
"You have done your duty, sire," Nal replied in the voice of a soldier.
Legolas looked at her, his eyes speaking things that words cannot describe. There was a dead look to them. "What have I done as a person, Nal?" he asked, swallowing a great lump in his throat as tears clouded his vision.
"You are a prince, Legolas, and that comes first. You know this. What you did was right," she said as if with firmly placed faith. Yet Legolas knew that Nal did not believe this. She doubted him as a person, as a warrior, and as a leader. "They had no reason to rebel, Legolas. They only sought for someone to blame for the darkening of the forests, and your father, well. . .rulers are sometimes just in easy position for such things. The elders among them remembered the forest as it was, and would die before seeing it as the place it may yet become."
"And the youths?"
Nal shook her head sadly. "Caught in the crossfire."
*****
Legolas nocked another arrow. The number of enemies was visibly thinning. He took careful aim of an Elf carrying what seemed to be a slingshot of some sort, and not doing a bad job with it either. This Elf knew what he was doing, as he shouted and cried Legolas was sure he was either a leader or a devoted follower.
Only seconds before he let his arrow fly, Nal turned to get another missile. Bringing the arrow to her bow she hit Legolas on the elbow accidentally. He recoiled, turning slightly as his arrow slipped from his bow. The twist had seemed so subtle that he thought this would be a kill shot for the Elf he aimed for.
Legolas could not have been more wrong. He only saw her a moment before the arrow hit, plunging through her chest. She was small, at most eight years old, with strawberry-blonde hair pulled back from her face. She looked confused, as if she did not know what was happening or understand why. In her hand was a short knife, but she wielded it as though she had no intention of harming anyone. The arrow was almost as big as she was, and as soon as it went through she fell to her knees.
The world around Legolas blurred. He could not catch his breath, as though he had been punched in the stomach. Did I really do that? He asked himself over and over again. Each time, the answer was that he had. Has bow slipped from his hands and he hardly noticed it. I killed a child, he said to himself. I slaughtered a little girl.
*****
Legolas could not stop the tears from flowing, but they did not obscure his vision. They slipped from the corners of his eyes and slithered down his cheeks, dropping onto the coverlet. "I killed her," he whispered.
"I caused you to move," Nal said. "I also killed her. Legolas, do you recall when I first said I wished to be a warrior? People said that women are too soft for the position. I shot three children through with arrows today, and I caused you to shoot a fourth. If I give up my status, I let down every female in Mirkwood. Right now, I bet you are ready to give up your life."
"Yes," Legolas replied. "Why should I not? A life for a life."
"But my friend, that would be taking two lives and returning none. You have extreme power within your hands. Your bow holds the power to destroy, and also to protect. Any force of ill can be used as a force of goodness."
"You are a comfort to me, Nal," Legolas said, and he meant it.
"Then you will return to your daily life again?" she asked, partially beseeching him.
"I will but for one thing: never again shall I wield my bow."