A/N: You're welcome for the Christmas present and thank you for the reviews : ) Please read the recap so you'd be able to enjoy this next post more : ) My beta could not be found, she's having technical difficulties : ( As always, constructive criticisms are welcomed.
Recap:
Part 4
She would dream herself locked up in a dark corner of a room. Abandoned, unworthy and unloved. Logan was there like a shadow but he didn't move, she would beg and scream for him but nothing would happen. Then she would wake up, more lonely and aware that she was alone.
Part 7
Max found herself yearning for the days when Logan would cradle her as he lulled her to sleep after waking up from a bad dream. 'Hush Maxie, I'm right here', he would say and those very words kept her hope as she waited for him to say them to her again.
**Part 10**
Max heard the knock on the door and swore under her breath. She had fallen asleep again while taking her bath, leaving her no time to get ready before her food arrived. She slowly raised both knees and carefully held on the edge of the tub as she got up, her muscles stiff from her unexpected slumber. Dripping with a melange of water, bubbles and scented oil, Max landed both feet on the dry marble floor as she slipped in a white robe.
"I'm coming!" She yelled as she hurriedly grabbed the wallet sitting on her night stand. She heard the knock again, this time recognizing the distinct pattern that left her certain that it wasn't the pizza boy delivering her food. It appeared that for the third time that week, her friendly neighbour had again *mistakenly* received the pizza she ordered. Being the rich kind doctor that he was, he had taken it upon himself to pay for the food and personally deliver it to her.
"Rafer, Hi. Looks like they brought you my pizza again, huh?" Max said with an exaggerated smile as she opened her door.
"Hi Max!" Rafer shrugged innocently enough but the glitter of deceit that glazed his almond shaped eyes could not be concealed. "Yeah, it looks like."
Max nodded, willing to bet her entire trust fund that Rafer had bribed the delivery boy to alert him of any orders coming from Max's apartment. "So how much do I owe you?" Max took the box that was resting on Rafer's open palm.
"Nothing if you share it with me." Rafer said suggestively, his spirit not tarnished by her two previous rejections.
Graciously, Max appeased "I could hardly serve you pizza after showing me such generosity. How about I make us some home cooked meal one of these days?" Yeah right! Hello?! There was a reason she had a frequent pizza card! She couldn't even cook pasta right. Rafer, however, did not need to know that.
Rafer was encouraged, an eventual dinner invitation was better than a blatant NO. He was progressing. "That'd be nice, I'll look forward to that."
Max smiled as she waved him good bye, feeling a tad bit guilty for leading him on to look forward to nothing. It would have been so much easier to downright refuse him since she certainly had no problems being brutally honest and mean. But no. She liked to reserve her nastiness to a few special people. Logan being one of them, her uncle and smart-ass lawyer being the other two. The three men in her life; one she hated, one she needed and one..., one she couldn't live without. Though she hadn't decided yet which one was which.
Closing the door behind her with one leg, Max looked forward to an evening of curling up on her bed with a book and some jazz music. Unfortunately, fate had other plans for Max. Her calm existence was shattered yet again by another round of knocks on the door.
Depositing the pizza on the coffee table, Max decided that Rafer was definitely writing his name fast on her Hate List. But ripples of shock overcame Max when she realized that it wasn't Rafer standing at the opposite end of the opened door. In flesh and as real as her nightmares, the man she thought she had finally escaped had captured her once again, "Uncle Donald."
***
Max stood with her arms crossed across her chest, observing the man whose back was turned to her. He stood by her windows, surveying the night sky of Seattle, a habit she herself had fallen into. Donald Lydecker. His presence so commanding that if Max hadn't toughened herself up to resist his strong will, he would have had her regressing back to a scared little child the second she saw him again. Luckily, the defense system she had built and strengthened in the years she spent with him was intact. He didn't intimidate her at all. Her cool demeanor suggested that his unexpected arrival didn't bother her in the least.
"I thought you'd be back home by now." He said without any indication that he knew she was there until he spoke.
"I told you I'd never go back." Max responded in fact.
Lydecker turned to look at his niece who had changed into a dark sweater and a pair of jeans. Two defiant brown eyes glared at him. "You're not abandoning The Chamber, Max. You've had four months of your little rebellion, but now it's time to finish what we're working on."
He just didn't understand. "I am not rebelling."
"Then what do you think you're doing?" Lydecker had only himself to blame for tolerating the independent mind his niece had. He'd always thought it a great character to possess, he fostered it thinking that it was what was needed to succeed in the work he had in mind for her. Ironic that the same trait he molded to his advantage was the very same that was working against him.
"I'm living my life, that's what I'm doing." Max neglected to add that she was living a life not shadowed by somebody's promise or ruled by someone else's desires. A life that she was making her own as she faced and got over the past that consumed her. A life that she was starting afresh; following her own rules and no longer vulnerable to the whims of those around her.
"This is ridiculous Max. Your life is with The Chamber." Lydecker's authoritative tone was unyielding. "You will get packed, hand over Biotech to Logan Cale and you will go back to Greece. Do you understand?"
Max smirked, not quite believing that her uncle still had the nerve to speak to her like the helpless child that she was. "You don't order me around anymore."
"You will do as I tell you." Max would and Lydecker would use any means to ensure that she did. He had done so and succeeded before and he could surely do so again.
"You're pretty sure of yourself." And that unnerved Max, though showing it she would not. All of a sudden, the tension in the room got too much, she felt herself gasping for breath.
"Listen to me Max, before somebody, including yourself, gets hurt." Lydecker warned, his stance the picture of serene calm.
Too late, she already was. "You're wasting your time, leave now."
Lydecker realized that Max would no longer submit to verbal commands. Regretting that he would have to implement a plan that would potentially hurt her, he walked out the door that Max had opened for him. Glancing at her once last time and meeting her cold stare, Lydecker nodded. A nod Max knew too well for it indicated an acknowledgement that they both knew the consequences of disobeying him.
Max heard the elevator door shutting close and let out a breath she didn't know she held. She felt her energy drain away, her knees so wobbly that they could no longer support her. She leaned with her back on the wall, and slowly, she let gravity take her body down. The warmth and the tension in the room were all gone and replaced by chilling fear. Max hugged both her knees, trying desperately to stop the shudders rippling her body. A single tear fell on her cheek and with a shaky hand she wiped it away. But soon another fell. Then another. And another. Until Max tightly closed her eyes, but only to have more unwanted stream of tears fall down.
Since Max had moved to Greece, her uncle was the only family she had. He was a constant presence that she had learned to count on. Unlike some people, he was always there. As a weak and helpless child, she was under his care. He gave her all material wealth. The cultured world was hers to learn. An abandoned child couldn't ask for anything more. An unwanted child didn't deserve to ask for more. But Max did.
~~Flashback~~
Max laid quietly on her bed, the comforter swallowing her tiny body in a cocoon of warmth. Then, for the hundredth time that night, she looked at the clock that rested on her head board. The small hand was pointing to 11 and the big one to 6, indicating that it was already 11:30 P.M. Her uncle was usually home a lot earlier and would normally be asleep at that time. And so would she. But he was not so Max just hoped that her uncle would come soon because she didn't know how much longer she could stay awake. She had tossed and turned a million times and had recited all the stories she knew by heart just to distract herself from impending sleep.
Then the familiar click of the front door lock was heard and Max was immediately put at ease. Her uncle was home. She willed herself to stay still as she heard his footsteps approaching her room. He never usually stopped by to say good night or to check if she was already sleeping, but Max never lost hope that maybe one night he would and that night was then. But no such luck; the footsteps were gone before she got her hopes up too high. Oh well, it wasn't a big deal.
Just as Max had done every night since she came to live with her uncle 5 months earlier, she waited for fifteen minutes before she lifted her covers up to sneak out of her room. That night, Gemma had put her slippers and robe by her desk so she didn't have a hard time finding them in the dark. Without a sound, she stepped out of her room and walked into the hallway, avoiding the spots that she knew would make a creaking noise. Reaching for her uncle's door, she carefully opened it and made her way to his bed.
As always, Max was like an angel in the night. Floating through the room, lingering there for a while and drifting off in space, her presence neither noticed nor heard. Unbeknownst to anyone, it had become a part of her nightly routine to wait for her uncle and see him off to bed. Max just wanted to be sure that he was home and safe. She just needed to be reassured that she wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night and have a policeman take her away and tell her that something bad had happened to him. She didn't want a repeat of what had taken place a little less than a year earlier. A man in heavy winter clothes barged in their cabin and took her to the police station. There, a nice old woman came and explained to her that there had been an avalanche and that her parents might be under the snow. She didn't know what that had meant but she later found out that her mommy and daddy were gone and would never come back.
So Max was in her uncle's room. She usually stood far from the bed, but close enough to see his tummy rising up and down. She wanted to see that he was breathing and alive, that he hadn't died in his sleep and that he would be at the dining table when she woke up the next day. Only after such reassurance would she let herself go back to her room to sleep in peace, not bothered by thoughts of what might happen if something bad befell her uncle.
But that night was different. He wasn't on his bed. Max's heart started to beat faster as she quickly checked to see if he was in the bathroom. No, he was not. Panic struck her. No, it couldn't be! He had to be fine! Max went into a frantic search for her uncle. She stammered her way through the stairs, making a lot of noise on her way that halfway through the living room, a worried Gemma greeted her.
"Miss Maxine, what's wrong?" She asked as she kneeled beside the little girl, genuinely concerned.
"Gemma! My uncle, he's not here. I'm afraid something bad has happened! Please, we need to find him!" She begged clasping her robe tightly around her, almost in tears.
"What is this all about!?" Max shuddered as she heard her uncle's voice behind her, he sounded upset.
Slowly, Max turned around to meet her uncle's inquisitive stare. Relief was overshadowed by intense fear as she saw the state he was in. Good Lord, he was drinking again. Searching desperately for words that would appease him, she replied. "Nothing, uncle. I just wanted to see if you've come home. I'm sorry to upset you, I'll go to my room now."
But before Max could escape her uncle's wrath, he seized her shoulders and forced her to face him. He was so close to her now that her stomach turned upon inhaling the smell of alcohol in his breath. Then he stared at her, the time suspended as he looked into her eyes. Max saw a lost and angry expression on her uncle's face. He was there in front of her but he was really somewhere else. He was looking at her but not quite seeing her at all. Then in an instant his gaze softened. Max blinked in surprise, her big brown eyes still fixed at her uncle's face.
Just as easily as Lydecker grabbed Max, she was let go. Addressing the nanny, he ordered, "Take Max up to her room, I'll be in my study. Don't make too much noise."
Hurriedly, Gemma picked Max up in her arms and the little girl came without protest. For a moment, the elderly lady was afraid that Mr. Lydecker would hit Max but soon she realized that he never would do such a thing. Max had her aunt's eyes, and with that virtue the little girl was safe.
~~End of Flashback~~
To be loved. That was all Max asked for. That was all she wanted. Alone in the world and having the only person she cared for so far away, Max asked to be loved. It wasn't too much she needed. Just a kiss on the forehead as she got tucked in to bed. Just a hug here or there as she was told a word or two of praise. Max kept herself an obedient little girl, the perfect little niece in her uncle's eyes, hoping that he would eventually show that he cared. But nothing she did was ever enough for she never felt that she was loved.
Then one day the young child gave up. She didn't need to be loved. Who gave a damn?
She did, she gave a damn. The need for affection then turned to fear. The vulnerable child that Max was no longer was the perfect child seeking love but had become a child avoiding reprimand. For a long time she was afraid. Afraid that she would be abandoned yet again. Afraid that she wasn't worthy enough to be loved.
Along the way, coinciding with the realization that Logan too did not care for her, the fear turned to hatred. How dare her uncle make her feel afraid?! How dare anyone hurt her?! She then decided that neither Logan nor her uncle, would make her feel that way ever again! The construction of the protective walls around her began and before long her defense system was built; she no longer cared, she no longer felt.
But Max was only human, subject to the same primitive needs everyone shared. Slowly she learned to let the brick walls fall for no one could live in isolation for long; not even Max could live her life as a stoic form. At that very moment, sitting with her back on the wall and tears still freely flowing, Max needed the most basic comfort of all. Safety.
Slowly and with much effort, Max dried her tears with the sleeves of her sweater and took the motorcycle keys that hanged by her kitchen wall. Riding the motorcycle, she let the vehicle take her to the one person who, unknown to her, had etched his way again in her life. As Max found herself in front of the Foggle Towers, it became apparent that it was already too late to deny that the man residing in the place was someone more than just a man from her past.
***
"Max." Logan blinked in surprise as he saw Max standing in front of him. Or more precisely, her back walking away from him.
Max stopped on her track and reluctantly turned to face Logan. She decided to leave after knocking twice and receiving no answer. She should have known Logan would be sleeping, as his appearance confirmed. His blond hair was disheveled and his shirt crumpled from sleep. "Hey." She said, unsure of what to say. What did one say when one showed up at midnight in someone else's house? 'Hi I know you're sleeping and all, but I'm having a crappy day, can you give me a hug?'. No, not exactly. So there, she just said 'hey'.
Was it really her? Logan blinked again to make certain that his eyes were not deceiving him, that he wasn't just dreaming, yet again, of her. "Max, come in."
"Umm...Thanks." What was Max thinking coming here? What did she wish to accomplish? Why was she even at Logan's to begin with? All thoughts and feelings escaped her. "Umm...my building was running a fire alarm test, I couldn't sleep." She explained.
"Ok." Logan nodded, quite sure that the fire alarm was not the cause of the shadows under her puffy eyes. "Do you want something to drink?"
"Some wine would be nice." Max replied as she settled on one of Logan's couches, facing the sky scrappers of Seattle. Tiny raindrops were now hitting the glass windows, providing a backdrop sound to an otherwise quiet room.
"Here you go." Logan handed Max a glass of wine and sat opposite her with his own glass.
Max took the glass offered to her and waited in silence for Logan to start questioning her. He did not. So for a long time both sipped their wine and stared out the window, mesmerized by the droplets of rain descending down the window pane. Then Max looked at Logan and willed him to look at her. He did, so she caught his eyes and smiled, a smile that said thank you for not prying and accepting her as she was. He grinned and shrugged, then looked back out again into the dark night sky. Four months ago, the silence between the two would have meant discomfort, but this was no longer the case. Neither needed to say a word anymore. Logan was there and he wasn't going anywhere. She too was there and she didn't want to leave. They both knew that, it was just a matter of letting go of whatever gripe they had so they could both deal with that fact.
Max didn't know when, but sometime that night, she fell asleep on the couch. Then, a recurring dream she had as a child came back. Alone again in a dark corner of a room she screamed. She could hear footsteps coming, shaking with fear, she screamed for Logan to help her. As each frightening step got louder, her heart started beating frantically, she was gasping for breath. She screamed again and the shadow in the room did something it never did before. It moved. It came to her and lifted her up. Then it whispered, "Hush Maxie, it's ok. I'm right here."
Max's eyes flew wide open in shock. She found herself nestled in Logan's arms, her head on his shoulder, her cheek on his chest. She could hear him whispering the very words she had longed to hear so many years before, the words she didn't know she still wanted to hear again. She felt her whole body being gently rocked, shower of kisses landing on her forehead and a protective hand stroking her back. And for a long time she let Logan hold her, cradled in the warmth and safety he built around her. Then in his caring arms, she drifted off to sleep once again.
Recap:
Part 4
She would dream herself locked up in a dark corner of a room. Abandoned, unworthy and unloved. Logan was there like a shadow but he didn't move, she would beg and scream for him but nothing would happen. Then she would wake up, more lonely and aware that she was alone.
Part 7
Max found herself yearning for the days when Logan would cradle her as he lulled her to sleep after waking up from a bad dream. 'Hush Maxie, I'm right here', he would say and those very words kept her hope as she waited for him to say them to her again.
**Part 10**
Max heard the knock on the door and swore under her breath. She had fallen asleep again while taking her bath, leaving her no time to get ready before her food arrived. She slowly raised both knees and carefully held on the edge of the tub as she got up, her muscles stiff from her unexpected slumber. Dripping with a melange of water, bubbles and scented oil, Max landed both feet on the dry marble floor as she slipped in a white robe.
"I'm coming!" She yelled as she hurriedly grabbed the wallet sitting on her night stand. She heard the knock again, this time recognizing the distinct pattern that left her certain that it wasn't the pizza boy delivering her food. It appeared that for the third time that week, her friendly neighbour had again *mistakenly* received the pizza she ordered. Being the rich kind doctor that he was, he had taken it upon himself to pay for the food and personally deliver it to her.
"Rafer, Hi. Looks like they brought you my pizza again, huh?" Max said with an exaggerated smile as she opened her door.
"Hi Max!" Rafer shrugged innocently enough but the glitter of deceit that glazed his almond shaped eyes could not be concealed. "Yeah, it looks like."
Max nodded, willing to bet her entire trust fund that Rafer had bribed the delivery boy to alert him of any orders coming from Max's apartment. "So how much do I owe you?" Max took the box that was resting on Rafer's open palm.
"Nothing if you share it with me." Rafer said suggestively, his spirit not tarnished by her two previous rejections.
Graciously, Max appeased "I could hardly serve you pizza after showing me such generosity. How about I make us some home cooked meal one of these days?" Yeah right! Hello?! There was a reason she had a frequent pizza card! She couldn't even cook pasta right. Rafer, however, did not need to know that.
Rafer was encouraged, an eventual dinner invitation was better than a blatant NO. He was progressing. "That'd be nice, I'll look forward to that."
Max smiled as she waved him good bye, feeling a tad bit guilty for leading him on to look forward to nothing. It would have been so much easier to downright refuse him since she certainly had no problems being brutally honest and mean. But no. She liked to reserve her nastiness to a few special people. Logan being one of them, her uncle and smart-ass lawyer being the other two. The three men in her life; one she hated, one she needed and one..., one she couldn't live without. Though she hadn't decided yet which one was which.
Closing the door behind her with one leg, Max looked forward to an evening of curling up on her bed with a book and some jazz music. Unfortunately, fate had other plans for Max. Her calm existence was shattered yet again by another round of knocks on the door.
Depositing the pizza on the coffee table, Max decided that Rafer was definitely writing his name fast on her Hate List. But ripples of shock overcame Max when she realized that it wasn't Rafer standing at the opposite end of the opened door. In flesh and as real as her nightmares, the man she thought she had finally escaped had captured her once again, "Uncle Donald."
***
Max stood with her arms crossed across her chest, observing the man whose back was turned to her. He stood by her windows, surveying the night sky of Seattle, a habit she herself had fallen into. Donald Lydecker. His presence so commanding that if Max hadn't toughened herself up to resist his strong will, he would have had her regressing back to a scared little child the second she saw him again. Luckily, the defense system she had built and strengthened in the years she spent with him was intact. He didn't intimidate her at all. Her cool demeanor suggested that his unexpected arrival didn't bother her in the least.
"I thought you'd be back home by now." He said without any indication that he knew she was there until he spoke.
"I told you I'd never go back." Max responded in fact.
Lydecker turned to look at his niece who had changed into a dark sweater and a pair of jeans. Two defiant brown eyes glared at him. "You're not abandoning The Chamber, Max. You've had four months of your little rebellion, but now it's time to finish what we're working on."
He just didn't understand. "I am not rebelling."
"Then what do you think you're doing?" Lydecker had only himself to blame for tolerating the independent mind his niece had. He'd always thought it a great character to possess, he fostered it thinking that it was what was needed to succeed in the work he had in mind for her. Ironic that the same trait he molded to his advantage was the very same that was working against him.
"I'm living my life, that's what I'm doing." Max neglected to add that she was living a life not shadowed by somebody's promise or ruled by someone else's desires. A life that she was making her own as she faced and got over the past that consumed her. A life that she was starting afresh; following her own rules and no longer vulnerable to the whims of those around her.
"This is ridiculous Max. Your life is with The Chamber." Lydecker's authoritative tone was unyielding. "You will get packed, hand over Biotech to Logan Cale and you will go back to Greece. Do you understand?"
Max smirked, not quite believing that her uncle still had the nerve to speak to her like the helpless child that she was. "You don't order me around anymore."
"You will do as I tell you." Max would and Lydecker would use any means to ensure that she did. He had done so and succeeded before and he could surely do so again.
"You're pretty sure of yourself." And that unnerved Max, though showing it she would not. All of a sudden, the tension in the room got too much, she felt herself gasping for breath.
"Listen to me Max, before somebody, including yourself, gets hurt." Lydecker warned, his stance the picture of serene calm.
Too late, she already was. "You're wasting your time, leave now."
Lydecker realized that Max would no longer submit to verbal commands. Regretting that he would have to implement a plan that would potentially hurt her, he walked out the door that Max had opened for him. Glancing at her once last time and meeting her cold stare, Lydecker nodded. A nod Max knew too well for it indicated an acknowledgement that they both knew the consequences of disobeying him.
Max heard the elevator door shutting close and let out a breath she didn't know she held. She felt her energy drain away, her knees so wobbly that they could no longer support her. She leaned with her back on the wall, and slowly, she let gravity take her body down. The warmth and the tension in the room were all gone and replaced by chilling fear. Max hugged both her knees, trying desperately to stop the shudders rippling her body. A single tear fell on her cheek and with a shaky hand she wiped it away. But soon another fell. Then another. And another. Until Max tightly closed her eyes, but only to have more unwanted stream of tears fall down.
Since Max had moved to Greece, her uncle was the only family she had. He was a constant presence that she had learned to count on. Unlike some people, he was always there. As a weak and helpless child, she was under his care. He gave her all material wealth. The cultured world was hers to learn. An abandoned child couldn't ask for anything more. An unwanted child didn't deserve to ask for more. But Max did.
~~Flashback~~
Max laid quietly on her bed, the comforter swallowing her tiny body in a cocoon of warmth. Then, for the hundredth time that night, she looked at the clock that rested on her head board. The small hand was pointing to 11 and the big one to 6, indicating that it was already 11:30 P.M. Her uncle was usually home a lot earlier and would normally be asleep at that time. And so would she. But he was not so Max just hoped that her uncle would come soon because she didn't know how much longer she could stay awake. She had tossed and turned a million times and had recited all the stories she knew by heart just to distract herself from impending sleep.
Then the familiar click of the front door lock was heard and Max was immediately put at ease. Her uncle was home. She willed herself to stay still as she heard his footsteps approaching her room. He never usually stopped by to say good night or to check if she was already sleeping, but Max never lost hope that maybe one night he would and that night was then. But no such luck; the footsteps were gone before she got her hopes up too high. Oh well, it wasn't a big deal.
Just as Max had done every night since she came to live with her uncle 5 months earlier, she waited for fifteen minutes before she lifted her covers up to sneak out of her room. That night, Gemma had put her slippers and robe by her desk so she didn't have a hard time finding them in the dark. Without a sound, she stepped out of her room and walked into the hallway, avoiding the spots that she knew would make a creaking noise. Reaching for her uncle's door, she carefully opened it and made her way to his bed.
As always, Max was like an angel in the night. Floating through the room, lingering there for a while and drifting off in space, her presence neither noticed nor heard. Unbeknownst to anyone, it had become a part of her nightly routine to wait for her uncle and see him off to bed. Max just wanted to be sure that he was home and safe. She just needed to be reassured that she wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night and have a policeman take her away and tell her that something bad had happened to him. She didn't want a repeat of what had taken place a little less than a year earlier. A man in heavy winter clothes barged in their cabin and took her to the police station. There, a nice old woman came and explained to her that there had been an avalanche and that her parents might be under the snow. She didn't know what that had meant but she later found out that her mommy and daddy were gone and would never come back.
So Max was in her uncle's room. She usually stood far from the bed, but close enough to see his tummy rising up and down. She wanted to see that he was breathing and alive, that he hadn't died in his sleep and that he would be at the dining table when she woke up the next day. Only after such reassurance would she let herself go back to her room to sleep in peace, not bothered by thoughts of what might happen if something bad befell her uncle.
But that night was different. He wasn't on his bed. Max's heart started to beat faster as she quickly checked to see if he was in the bathroom. No, he was not. Panic struck her. No, it couldn't be! He had to be fine! Max went into a frantic search for her uncle. She stammered her way through the stairs, making a lot of noise on her way that halfway through the living room, a worried Gemma greeted her.
"Miss Maxine, what's wrong?" She asked as she kneeled beside the little girl, genuinely concerned.
"Gemma! My uncle, he's not here. I'm afraid something bad has happened! Please, we need to find him!" She begged clasping her robe tightly around her, almost in tears.
"What is this all about!?" Max shuddered as she heard her uncle's voice behind her, he sounded upset.
Slowly, Max turned around to meet her uncle's inquisitive stare. Relief was overshadowed by intense fear as she saw the state he was in. Good Lord, he was drinking again. Searching desperately for words that would appease him, she replied. "Nothing, uncle. I just wanted to see if you've come home. I'm sorry to upset you, I'll go to my room now."
But before Max could escape her uncle's wrath, he seized her shoulders and forced her to face him. He was so close to her now that her stomach turned upon inhaling the smell of alcohol in his breath. Then he stared at her, the time suspended as he looked into her eyes. Max saw a lost and angry expression on her uncle's face. He was there in front of her but he was really somewhere else. He was looking at her but not quite seeing her at all. Then in an instant his gaze softened. Max blinked in surprise, her big brown eyes still fixed at her uncle's face.
Just as easily as Lydecker grabbed Max, she was let go. Addressing the nanny, he ordered, "Take Max up to her room, I'll be in my study. Don't make too much noise."
Hurriedly, Gemma picked Max up in her arms and the little girl came without protest. For a moment, the elderly lady was afraid that Mr. Lydecker would hit Max but soon she realized that he never would do such a thing. Max had her aunt's eyes, and with that virtue the little girl was safe.
~~End of Flashback~~
To be loved. That was all Max asked for. That was all she wanted. Alone in the world and having the only person she cared for so far away, Max asked to be loved. It wasn't too much she needed. Just a kiss on the forehead as she got tucked in to bed. Just a hug here or there as she was told a word or two of praise. Max kept herself an obedient little girl, the perfect little niece in her uncle's eyes, hoping that he would eventually show that he cared. But nothing she did was ever enough for she never felt that she was loved.
Then one day the young child gave up. She didn't need to be loved. Who gave a damn?
She did, she gave a damn. The need for affection then turned to fear. The vulnerable child that Max was no longer was the perfect child seeking love but had become a child avoiding reprimand. For a long time she was afraid. Afraid that she would be abandoned yet again. Afraid that she wasn't worthy enough to be loved.
Along the way, coinciding with the realization that Logan too did not care for her, the fear turned to hatred. How dare her uncle make her feel afraid?! How dare anyone hurt her?! She then decided that neither Logan nor her uncle, would make her feel that way ever again! The construction of the protective walls around her began and before long her defense system was built; she no longer cared, she no longer felt.
But Max was only human, subject to the same primitive needs everyone shared. Slowly she learned to let the brick walls fall for no one could live in isolation for long; not even Max could live her life as a stoic form. At that very moment, sitting with her back on the wall and tears still freely flowing, Max needed the most basic comfort of all. Safety.
Slowly and with much effort, Max dried her tears with the sleeves of her sweater and took the motorcycle keys that hanged by her kitchen wall. Riding the motorcycle, she let the vehicle take her to the one person who, unknown to her, had etched his way again in her life. As Max found herself in front of the Foggle Towers, it became apparent that it was already too late to deny that the man residing in the place was someone more than just a man from her past.
***
"Max." Logan blinked in surprise as he saw Max standing in front of him. Or more precisely, her back walking away from him.
Max stopped on her track and reluctantly turned to face Logan. She decided to leave after knocking twice and receiving no answer. She should have known Logan would be sleeping, as his appearance confirmed. His blond hair was disheveled and his shirt crumpled from sleep. "Hey." She said, unsure of what to say. What did one say when one showed up at midnight in someone else's house? 'Hi I know you're sleeping and all, but I'm having a crappy day, can you give me a hug?'. No, not exactly. So there, she just said 'hey'.
Was it really her? Logan blinked again to make certain that his eyes were not deceiving him, that he wasn't just dreaming, yet again, of her. "Max, come in."
"Umm...Thanks." What was Max thinking coming here? What did she wish to accomplish? Why was she even at Logan's to begin with? All thoughts and feelings escaped her. "Umm...my building was running a fire alarm test, I couldn't sleep." She explained.
"Ok." Logan nodded, quite sure that the fire alarm was not the cause of the shadows under her puffy eyes. "Do you want something to drink?"
"Some wine would be nice." Max replied as she settled on one of Logan's couches, facing the sky scrappers of Seattle. Tiny raindrops were now hitting the glass windows, providing a backdrop sound to an otherwise quiet room.
"Here you go." Logan handed Max a glass of wine and sat opposite her with his own glass.
Max took the glass offered to her and waited in silence for Logan to start questioning her. He did not. So for a long time both sipped their wine and stared out the window, mesmerized by the droplets of rain descending down the window pane. Then Max looked at Logan and willed him to look at her. He did, so she caught his eyes and smiled, a smile that said thank you for not prying and accepting her as she was. He grinned and shrugged, then looked back out again into the dark night sky. Four months ago, the silence between the two would have meant discomfort, but this was no longer the case. Neither needed to say a word anymore. Logan was there and he wasn't going anywhere. She too was there and she didn't want to leave. They both knew that, it was just a matter of letting go of whatever gripe they had so they could both deal with that fact.
Max didn't know when, but sometime that night, she fell asleep on the couch. Then, a recurring dream she had as a child came back. Alone again in a dark corner of a room she screamed. She could hear footsteps coming, shaking with fear, she screamed for Logan to help her. As each frightening step got louder, her heart started beating frantically, she was gasping for breath. She screamed again and the shadow in the room did something it never did before. It moved. It came to her and lifted her up. Then it whispered, "Hush Maxie, it's ok. I'm right here."
Max's eyes flew wide open in shock. She found herself nestled in Logan's arms, her head on his shoulder, her cheek on his chest. She could hear him whispering the very words she had longed to hear so many years before, the words she didn't know she still wanted to hear again. She felt her whole body being gently rocked, shower of kisses landing on her forehead and a protective hand stroking her back. And for a long time she let Logan hold her, cradled in the warmth and safety he built around her. Then in his caring arms, she drifted off to sleep once again.