A/N: Thanks a million bunch for the reviews, especially to the ones I got via e-mail (because the sight wasn't working). I can't express enough how my heart warms when I read them. Thank you. To Laura and Kat, thanks for
the beta. : ) P. S. Warning: Major sappiness ahead.
**Part 16**
Max still had the side of her head pressed against Logan's chest when the telephone rang. Both were startled as they withdrew from the sensations that were still so new to them. Max gave Logan a quick shy smile as she turned around to take the phone resting on her kitchen wall.
"Hey." Max said distractedly as she, one-by-one, tried to get a hold of all the emotions that were fluttering around her heart. Anticipation. Doubts. Expectations. Confusion. Relief. And joy. Joy.
"Hi Max. I'm trying to get a hold of Logan, is he there?" Sebastian asked in a worrisome tone.
Max caught the apprehension in his voice so she immediately handed the phone to Logan, whispering Sebastian's name as she did so. "Hey Seb, what have you got for me?"
"I don't know yet Logan, but you better come here. Somebody has been hacking in our files. Probably trying to sabotage our search."
There was no longer a need for Logan to let Sebastian continue, he said "I'll be right there." before the other man could finish his explanation. However, turning to Max dissipated the urgency in which Logan needed to get back to Biotech. Her closeness and the sight of her made everything else shut down. Leaving only her to think about. Leaving his feelings for her the only emotions to feel. The whole world closed in on the woman who stood before him and nothing else mattered but her.
As if the magical illusion was shattered, Logan suddenly became aware of reality when Max asked him, "Logan, what's wrong?"
After regaining his thoughts from the disorientation that Max's presence caused, Logan slumped back on a chair and rubbed his thumb and index finger on his temples. Sighing he responded, "Somebody doesn't want me to find Manticore's address."
Max nodded in understanding as she touched his arm. A touch that sent a warm feeling all over her. She smiled. It was ironic that even if everything else seemed to be going wrong, what she felt for Logan was finally right. Her current state of being was what she had been searching for all her life, only she hadn't known that she was searching for it at all. The realization that it was Logan who made her feel absolutely complete with herself made her chaotic world irrelevant. She felt content and peaceful inside. "You have to go?"
Logan looked at Max as she looked at him. Both were staring in each other's eyes, communicating in a way not even words could do. Questioning gazes and reassuring responses. Words and reality tended to complicate things, but the eyes knew what the heart desired. Honesty was its way, and acceptance was its name. A complete understanding of being one's self without the vulnerability of being judged.
Where did the two of them stand? Together. For how long? For as long as the other would want it. If that so, then forever. Because neither would ever let go of what they had just so recently found. However complicated it was, the journey of discovering what the two of them could truly be given the chance, was worth whatever pain would come their way. One was never happy without the other. So despite the hardships of fighting to stay together, it would surely pale in comparison to the loneliness of an easy life.
Logan responded without taking his eyes off Max. "Not for a few more minutes." He smiled, grateful for the understanding written on her face. "I got you a little present." Logan said as he reached in his pocket for a neatly wrapped package.
With a teasing grin, Max inquired as she took the gift from Logan's hands. "What is this for?"
So Max didn't remember after all. Logan wondered if she would, but wasn't surprised of Max's unawareness of the special occasion. It was one year ago that day when they saw each other again after years of separation. One year ago when Max walked back into Logan's life and took his breath away. One year ago since he started living for not a moment before then did he know what that had truly meant. One year ago when he found meaning in his life; when he gave a damn not only because of himself but because he loved someone else and she was not a million miles away.
"It's an anniversary gift of some sort." With Max's blank expression, he explained. "You've been here in Seattle for a year now." He smiled sheepishly, as if embarrassed that the fact was important enough to be remembered.
Max's heart gave a painful tug. She wasn't surprised of Logan's thoughtfulness. No, not at all. But she couldn't believe that she was special enough in his life that he would remember a little thing like that. Then again, it always was the little things that ever counted.
"Thank you." Max whispered sincerely as she tried to steal her gaze away from Logan's face. Concentrating on the gift she held, she carefully tugged on the ribbon and peeled the wrapper to reveal a most breathtaking sight. It was a candid photo of her and Logan at a company Summer picnic. Max was wearing a casual white tank top with her hair tied in a pony tail and Logan had a stripped polo shirt on. She was smiling at someone and Logan was turned towards her as he wiped a smudge off her cheek. The picture was laminated in a simple handcrafted wooden frame.
Max had a million pictures of herself and Logan together, both from childhood and from press conferences they held. There was nothing special about the piece of photo that was making her misty eyed. It was one like any other. Yet it was the most precious thing she owned. Because it came from Logan. Because it represented a moment that all others should be. The two of them happy. And carefree. And playful. And together. Yeah, together.
Max looked up at Logan and as if under some gravitational spell, their lips were drawn together to share a sweet soft kiss. A kiss that could have turned passionate if Max hadn't broken free. Directing her eyes on the telephone indicating Sebastian's call, then returning her gaze back at Logan, Max said. "This will wait, right?"
Logan, being a gentleman, took one of Max's hand in his. As he brushed his thumb to trace her elegant fingers, he replied, "We have all the time in the world."
**6 days later**
Max shuffled papers and reports on her desk as she tried to run Biotech single handedly. Logan had been so busy with EO and looking for Manticore's address that all the responsibilities of publishing their journals were laid in Max's hands. The world, after all, did not stop revolving so it could wait for Logan and her to sort out their problems.
Max's door opened and she looked up, expecting to see Logan with the Chinese food they ordered for lunch. It had become a ritual between the two of them to eat together. No matter how limited time was, they always found a way to be together. To remind themselves of what they were fighting for. A chance to be together and discover what the two of them could be as one fulfilled a role in the other's life that no other could. Not that either needed a reminder for they both just needed to close their eyes, and all the reasons in the world came freely flooding in. Picture after picture of how the past was, and how the future could be, and what was between the two of them came to their minds. A picture of the two of them in each other's arms instinctively knowing that the reason for being put on this earth was for that absolute moment and other moments such at that.
To Max's surprise, it was Sebastian who walked in. "Hey Max, sorry to interrupt."
Max dismissed Sebastian's apology as nonsense and indicated for him to sit down. Speaking to her secretary over the intercom, she said "Can you please hold my calls." Max didn't wait for a reply before she disengaged; she knew she still had some 10 other calls waiting for her.
"So what's up?" Max tried to smile but it couldn't quite reach her eyes for Sebastian's face spelled bad news. Poor guy, he seemed to always find himself as the bearer of such news lately.
"Max, I know it's not my place to say anything that Logan might want to keep silent for now. So I just came here to state an obvious fact." When Max didn't reply, Sebastian continued. "We both know that something bad is going to happen if you're not back in Greece by tomorrow in the event that we don't find Manticore's address." Hesitantly, Sebastian added, "Max, we're no closer in finding the address as we were a week ago. Logan and everyone at EO have been working hard on this and we won't give up, but... but... Logan will never say this, and I hate saying it myself, but we might not get the address by tomorrow, Max. I'm sorry, but I think you should know."
Sebastian's statement felt like a piercing arrow that splattered her heart. Max had been so preoccupied with Logan and with work that she had escaped thinking about the consequences of battling against her uncle. The truth was, she was so happy being happy that she was unconsciously pretending that everything would work out. She didn't want to deal with those consequences so she managed to steer them away from her thoughts. She felt like she had been slapped on the face because she was so self-indulgent to notice the blow coming. Her uncharacteristic optimism had gotten the better of her. What happened to that cautious, objective, rational woman that was her? She fell in love.
Max stared helplessly at a blank spot in space. Sebastian, sensing the despair that came over Max, stood up and silently walked out, giving Max the time and solitude she needed to sort out how she was going to deal with the future.
***
Max's hand hovered over the phone, debating with herself whether she should make the call or not. Was it fair to involve more people in her uncle's conniving scheme? No it wasn't. But she was desperate. She didn't want to go back to Greece. She never wanted to leave Logan's side again, they had already wasted so much time apart and fighting off each other. It had taken them their whole lifetimes to be at the stage where they were now and she didn't want to delay it any further.
Reluctantly dialing the number, Max waited anxiously for a response. After 3 rings, a familiar male voice answered "Hello?"
Giving a sigh of relief that it was who she expected it to be, Max said "Zack. Hey. It's me."
Zack forgot all else that was preoccupying him a few moments before and focused all his attention to Max. It was such a pleasant treat to hear her voice that he missed the anxiety that accompanied the greeting. "Hey Max! How are you?! I'm so glad you called."
"Ummm...not so good Zack. That's why I'm calling...things...things aren't going too well and...and I need your help." Max started, unsure if it was wise to take advantage of her friendship with Zack. He had always been there for her. Supporting her without asking anything in return except for her friendship and a promise that she would let him love her even if she didn't love him back. She granted him the friendship, but she discouraged the love. Yes, she did love Zack, but not in the romantic way he wanted. She knew she never could; heart's home was with someone else. She saw that now. Zack deserved better than an unrequited love.
"What's the matter Maxie?" Zack asked, his genuine concern evident. Murderous thoughts about Logan came forming in his mind as he jumped into conclusions that Logan was the cause of Max's distress.
Max explained her uncle's attempt to get her back to Greece by blackmailing Logan about his knowledge of a secret government facility called Macticore. She told him that the only way she could stay in Seattle was to find Manticore's address.
A red alert flashed and warning bells rang off in Zack's ears. Choosing his words carefully, "How do you think I can help you Max?"
Max sighed. There was no point in denying what she knew. "You were my uncle's research assistant Zack. You knew things no one else in the lab did so he will never let you out of his crutches. Even if under pretense you're working some place else, I know you're still working for my uncle. Now my uncle knows the inside dealings of this Manticore facility and I'm sure you do too." Hurriedly, Max added "I know you'll be breaking confidence Zack. I hate myself for putting you in this position, but all my life, I've never been happy. But now it looks like that I might be. With Logan. I love him Zack. I wanna give us a chance. Please, will you help me?"
So Max knew after all. She might not had known all the details, but she got the gist right. Zack was indeed working for Lydecker as an undercover geneticist for the said government facility. Zack had to give Max credit for her perceptiveness, but would he throw away everything he worked hard for so that she could be happy? Yes he would. He would do that and so much more. But never if that meant losing her to someone else. Right? Max was his, whether she knew it or not. Zack had love Max since the first time he saw her on the beach with that defiant condescending mocking grin on her face. The questions was, did he love her enough to give her up and let her be happy with someone else?
Zack was doomed. He would lose Max either way. If not to Logan, then to herself. If he supplied the address she needed, Max would go back to Logan and love him as she claimed she wanted to do. If he didn't then Max would never forgive him for failing her.
At least, if Zack chose the latter, Max would not be with Logan. She may hate him, but time heals everything. And one day, she might realize that Zack was the man for her. So it looked like his decision was made. He wanted Max too much to let her go. Right? Right.
Then why did he feel ashamed for saying this? "I'm sorry Max, I can't help you." Why was his heart breaking as he denied happiness to the woman he loved? Why did he get the feeling that he would regret ever saying those seven simple words? Because he knew that he would never have Max now because she deserved a better man than he ever could be.
Before Zack could take his decision back, Max had already hung up after saying a quick "I understand. Good bye Zack."
***
For a man whose death sentence was written for the next day, Logan was relatively calm. Max wanted to stay with him, and for Logan, that was the only thing that mattered. She wanted him. She wanted him. She wanted him. No matter how many times he said it, it never failed to elicit that wonderful warming effect it had on his heart.
Logan knew he had friends who could protect him, at least for a little while longer than Lydecker's given time frame. Hopefully, that time would be enough to ensure that Lydecker could never take Max away from him. Logan couldn't lose her again, not now after knowing what she felt for him. Though she hasn't professed eternal love, Logan knew that is where they were heading if given the chance to let what they had blossom.
"Logan?" Max called out as she entered Logan's penthouse. She asked him to meet her there for dinner; although the meal wasn't the only thing Max had in mind. She needed some privacy to tell Logan what she had finally decided to do about her uncle.
"In here Max." Logan yelled out from the kitchen as he stirred the sauce for his pasta tricolore. In stressful times such as these, cooking was one of the ways that Logan was able to keep his sanity.
Max smiled as she walked in the eating area, captivated by Logan's sight. He wasn't doing anything that he'd never done before, but now, everything was taking on a new and different meaning in light of the fact that he wanted her. That she made him happy. That maybe, just maybe, he loved her too.
"Smells good." She teased, a smile forming on her lips. He was cooking for her, and not just because it was convenient to cook for two. He was doing it because he wanted to. Because it was her.
Max grabbed a seat as the two of them tried to eat normally, as if everything was perfect in the world. You look beautiful Max. Thank you. There's a play a want to take you to. I'd love to go. Come try this. Hmmm...yummy. Can you pass me that please? Here you go. We'll clean up tomorrow. I don't mind. Let's go dance. I'll go put the music on.
"Logan, I need to discuss something with you." Max said as she disentangled herself from Logan's embrace after the music ended. She immediately felt a sense of loss as she stepped away from him, so she wrapped her arms around herself to keep from shivering.
"Alright." Logan took a seat and Max took the opposite chair, just a few inches away from him. The closeness they now shared was starting to be needed as much as breathing was.
Max sighed as she tried to tell Logan of her decision to leave the next day to confront her uncle. It was such a hard task; she didn't want to go at all. But it seemed that for far too long, escaping had been her chosen way of dealing with her problems. First, she left Greece to get away from her uncle. Then, a year had now passed yet she had always managed to stall in asking Logan why he never came back for her. Now, she was escaping again. She couldn't keep on running from her past because it would eventually catch up with her and hurt her even more.
Max needed to confront it, starting with her uncle. She needed to make him understand that he couldn't control her life anymore. Then, Max would confront Logan about their past. She wanted him to be her future, but the past would surely be something that would eventually come up and tear them apart if she let it lay dormant despite the fact that she was burning with curiosity to find out what his reasons were.
Yes, Max needed to go back to Greece. But there was no easy way to tell Logan without making him doubt of her sincerity when she proclaimed that she wanted to stay with him. Whatever they had was so precious and special to them both but it was still so new and volatile; even if the feelings run as deep as the blood that gave them life.
Max stood up and faced out the window, it was easier to say it without seeing the hurt that would surely cross Logan's attractive features. "I..." She started saying the words but they wouldn't come to her. She just couldn't do it. As if by some unconscious will, she couldn't let herself.
"Max, what is it?" Logan asked expectantly as he came up and stood behind her, willing her to turn around to face him.
Logan's presence invaded Max's space, she was not aware of anything else except for him. Yet she didn't mind at all. Only now there was no way for her to tell him as he gazed at her so lovingly. Yes, she would admit that now. He looked at her with so much love that it was impossible to even try denying that. She felt his gaze sweep her off her feet and transport her in a world of sensations so delightful she never wanted to leave. How could she ever tell him she was leaving? No, not now.
Max couldn't bear the sight of Logan hurting. But what she couldn't bear more was to refuse him if he ever asked her to stay. But what scared her terribly was the fact that he needed not ask at all. All he needed to do was say 'No' and she wouldn't ever go.
Max smiled. "Nothing Logan. I just miss this. We've been having take-out for the past week and we've been so busy that I guess I just wanted some alone time with you." Yes, that was it. Logan would find out soon enough why she asked for this special night. He'd find out in the morning when he found the letter she would leave him. It wouldn't hurt any less, but at least she wouldn't be there to witness him in pain; pain that she caused him.
A/N: The next chapter is 80% done, so you won't have to wait 2 months for it ; )
the beta. : ) P. S. Warning: Major sappiness ahead.
**Part 16**
Max still had the side of her head pressed against Logan's chest when the telephone rang. Both were startled as they withdrew from the sensations that were still so new to them. Max gave Logan a quick shy smile as she turned around to take the phone resting on her kitchen wall.
"Hey." Max said distractedly as she, one-by-one, tried to get a hold of all the emotions that were fluttering around her heart. Anticipation. Doubts. Expectations. Confusion. Relief. And joy. Joy.
"Hi Max. I'm trying to get a hold of Logan, is he there?" Sebastian asked in a worrisome tone.
Max caught the apprehension in his voice so she immediately handed the phone to Logan, whispering Sebastian's name as she did so. "Hey Seb, what have you got for me?"
"I don't know yet Logan, but you better come here. Somebody has been hacking in our files. Probably trying to sabotage our search."
There was no longer a need for Logan to let Sebastian continue, he said "I'll be right there." before the other man could finish his explanation. However, turning to Max dissipated the urgency in which Logan needed to get back to Biotech. Her closeness and the sight of her made everything else shut down. Leaving only her to think about. Leaving his feelings for her the only emotions to feel. The whole world closed in on the woman who stood before him and nothing else mattered but her.
As if the magical illusion was shattered, Logan suddenly became aware of reality when Max asked him, "Logan, what's wrong?"
After regaining his thoughts from the disorientation that Max's presence caused, Logan slumped back on a chair and rubbed his thumb and index finger on his temples. Sighing he responded, "Somebody doesn't want me to find Manticore's address."
Max nodded in understanding as she touched his arm. A touch that sent a warm feeling all over her. She smiled. It was ironic that even if everything else seemed to be going wrong, what she felt for Logan was finally right. Her current state of being was what she had been searching for all her life, only she hadn't known that she was searching for it at all. The realization that it was Logan who made her feel absolutely complete with herself made her chaotic world irrelevant. She felt content and peaceful inside. "You have to go?"
Logan looked at Max as she looked at him. Both were staring in each other's eyes, communicating in a way not even words could do. Questioning gazes and reassuring responses. Words and reality tended to complicate things, but the eyes knew what the heart desired. Honesty was its way, and acceptance was its name. A complete understanding of being one's self without the vulnerability of being judged.
Where did the two of them stand? Together. For how long? For as long as the other would want it. If that so, then forever. Because neither would ever let go of what they had just so recently found. However complicated it was, the journey of discovering what the two of them could truly be given the chance, was worth whatever pain would come their way. One was never happy without the other. So despite the hardships of fighting to stay together, it would surely pale in comparison to the loneliness of an easy life.
Logan responded without taking his eyes off Max. "Not for a few more minutes." He smiled, grateful for the understanding written on her face. "I got you a little present." Logan said as he reached in his pocket for a neatly wrapped package.
With a teasing grin, Max inquired as she took the gift from Logan's hands. "What is this for?"
So Max didn't remember after all. Logan wondered if she would, but wasn't surprised of Max's unawareness of the special occasion. It was one year ago that day when they saw each other again after years of separation. One year ago when Max walked back into Logan's life and took his breath away. One year ago since he started living for not a moment before then did he know what that had truly meant. One year ago when he found meaning in his life; when he gave a damn not only because of himself but because he loved someone else and she was not a million miles away.
"It's an anniversary gift of some sort." With Max's blank expression, he explained. "You've been here in Seattle for a year now." He smiled sheepishly, as if embarrassed that the fact was important enough to be remembered.
Max's heart gave a painful tug. She wasn't surprised of Logan's thoughtfulness. No, not at all. But she couldn't believe that she was special enough in his life that he would remember a little thing like that. Then again, it always was the little things that ever counted.
"Thank you." Max whispered sincerely as she tried to steal her gaze away from Logan's face. Concentrating on the gift she held, she carefully tugged on the ribbon and peeled the wrapper to reveal a most breathtaking sight. It was a candid photo of her and Logan at a company Summer picnic. Max was wearing a casual white tank top with her hair tied in a pony tail and Logan had a stripped polo shirt on. She was smiling at someone and Logan was turned towards her as he wiped a smudge off her cheek. The picture was laminated in a simple handcrafted wooden frame.
Max had a million pictures of herself and Logan together, both from childhood and from press conferences they held. There was nothing special about the piece of photo that was making her misty eyed. It was one like any other. Yet it was the most precious thing she owned. Because it came from Logan. Because it represented a moment that all others should be. The two of them happy. And carefree. And playful. And together. Yeah, together.
Max looked up at Logan and as if under some gravitational spell, their lips were drawn together to share a sweet soft kiss. A kiss that could have turned passionate if Max hadn't broken free. Directing her eyes on the telephone indicating Sebastian's call, then returning her gaze back at Logan, Max said. "This will wait, right?"
Logan, being a gentleman, took one of Max's hand in his. As he brushed his thumb to trace her elegant fingers, he replied, "We have all the time in the world."
**6 days later**
Max shuffled papers and reports on her desk as she tried to run Biotech single handedly. Logan had been so busy with EO and looking for Manticore's address that all the responsibilities of publishing their journals were laid in Max's hands. The world, after all, did not stop revolving so it could wait for Logan and her to sort out their problems.
Max's door opened and she looked up, expecting to see Logan with the Chinese food they ordered for lunch. It had become a ritual between the two of them to eat together. No matter how limited time was, they always found a way to be together. To remind themselves of what they were fighting for. A chance to be together and discover what the two of them could be as one fulfilled a role in the other's life that no other could. Not that either needed a reminder for they both just needed to close their eyes, and all the reasons in the world came freely flooding in. Picture after picture of how the past was, and how the future could be, and what was between the two of them came to their minds. A picture of the two of them in each other's arms instinctively knowing that the reason for being put on this earth was for that absolute moment and other moments such at that.
To Max's surprise, it was Sebastian who walked in. "Hey Max, sorry to interrupt."
Max dismissed Sebastian's apology as nonsense and indicated for him to sit down. Speaking to her secretary over the intercom, she said "Can you please hold my calls." Max didn't wait for a reply before she disengaged; she knew she still had some 10 other calls waiting for her.
"So what's up?" Max tried to smile but it couldn't quite reach her eyes for Sebastian's face spelled bad news. Poor guy, he seemed to always find himself as the bearer of such news lately.
"Max, I know it's not my place to say anything that Logan might want to keep silent for now. So I just came here to state an obvious fact." When Max didn't reply, Sebastian continued. "We both know that something bad is going to happen if you're not back in Greece by tomorrow in the event that we don't find Manticore's address." Hesitantly, Sebastian added, "Max, we're no closer in finding the address as we were a week ago. Logan and everyone at EO have been working hard on this and we won't give up, but... but... Logan will never say this, and I hate saying it myself, but we might not get the address by tomorrow, Max. I'm sorry, but I think you should know."
Sebastian's statement felt like a piercing arrow that splattered her heart. Max had been so preoccupied with Logan and with work that she had escaped thinking about the consequences of battling against her uncle. The truth was, she was so happy being happy that she was unconsciously pretending that everything would work out. She didn't want to deal with those consequences so she managed to steer them away from her thoughts. She felt like she had been slapped on the face because she was so self-indulgent to notice the blow coming. Her uncharacteristic optimism had gotten the better of her. What happened to that cautious, objective, rational woman that was her? She fell in love.
Max stared helplessly at a blank spot in space. Sebastian, sensing the despair that came over Max, stood up and silently walked out, giving Max the time and solitude she needed to sort out how she was going to deal with the future.
***
Max's hand hovered over the phone, debating with herself whether she should make the call or not. Was it fair to involve more people in her uncle's conniving scheme? No it wasn't. But she was desperate. She didn't want to go back to Greece. She never wanted to leave Logan's side again, they had already wasted so much time apart and fighting off each other. It had taken them their whole lifetimes to be at the stage where they were now and she didn't want to delay it any further.
Reluctantly dialing the number, Max waited anxiously for a response. After 3 rings, a familiar male voice answered "Hello?"
Giving a sigh of relief that it was who she expected it to be, Max said "Zack. Hey. It's me."
Zack forgot all else that was preoccupying him a few moments before and focused all his attention to Max. It was such a pleasant treat to hear her voice that he missed the anxiety that accompanied the greeting. "Hey Max! How are you?! I'm so glad you called."
"Ummm...not so good Zack. That's why I'm calling...things...things aren't going too well and...and I need your help." Max started, unsure if it was wise to take advantage of her friendship with Zack. He had always been there for her. Supporting her without asking anything in return except for her friendship and a promise that she would let him love her even if she didn't love him back. She granted him the friendship, but she discouraged the love. Yes, she did love Zack, but not in the romantic way he wanted. She knew she never could; heart's home was with someone else. She saw that now. Zack deserved better than an unrequited love.
"What's the matter Maxie?" Zack asked, his genuine concern evident. Murderous thoughts about Logan came forming in his mind as he jumped into conclusions that Logan was the cause of Max's distress.
Max explained her uncle's attempt to get her back to Greece by blackmailing Logan about his knowledge of a secret government facility called Macticore. She told him that the only way she could stay in Seattle was to find Manticore's address.
A red alert flashed and warning bells rang off in Zack's ears. Choosing his words carefully, "How do you think I can help you Max?"
Max sighed. There was no point in denying what she knew. "You were my uncle's research assistant Zack. You knew things no one else in the lab did so he will never let you out of his crutches. Even if under pretense you're working some place else, I know you're still working for my uncle. Now my uncle knows the inside dealings of this Manticore facility and I'm sure you do too." Hurriedly, Max added "I know you'll be breaking confidence Zack. I hate myself for putting you in this position, but all my life, I've never been happy. But now it looks like that I might be. With Logan. I love him Zack. I wanna give us a chance. Please, will you help me?"
So Max knew after all. She might not had known all the details, but she got the gist right. Zack was indeed working for Lydecker as an undercover geneticist for the said government facility. Zack had to give Max credit for her perceptiveness, but would he throw away everything he worked hard for so that she could be happy? Yes he would. He would do that and so much more. But never if that meant losing her to someone else. Right? Max was his, whether she knew it or not. Zack had love Max since the first time he saw her on the beach with that defiant condescending mocking grin on her face. The questions was, did he love her enough to give her up and let her be happy with someone else?
Zack was doomed. He would lose Max either way. If not to Logan, then to herself. If he supplied the address she needed, Max would go back to Logan and love him as she claimed she wanted to do. If he didn't then Max would never forgive him for failing her.
At least, if Zack chose the latter, Max would not be with Logan. She may hate him, but time heals everything. And one day, she might realize that Zack was the man for her. So it looked like his decision was made. He wanted Max too much to let her go. Right? Right.
Then why did he feel ashamed for saying this? "I'm sorry Max, I can't help you." Why was his heart breaking as he denied happiness to the woman he loved? Why did he get the feeling that he would regret ever saying those seven simple words? Because he knew that he would never have Max now because she deserved a better man than he ever could be.
Before Zack could take his decision back, Max had already hung up after saying a quick "I understand. Good bye Zack."
***
For a man whose death sentence was written for the next day, Logan was relatively calm. Max wanted to stay with him, and for Logan, that was the only thing that mattered. She wanted him. She wanted him. She wanted him. No matter how many times he said it, it never failed to elicit that wonderful warming effect it had on his heart.
Logan knew he had friends who could protect him, at least for a little while longer than Lydecker's given time frame. Hopefully, that time would be enough to ensure that Lydecker could never take Max away from him. Logan couldn't lose her again, not now after knowing what she felt for him. Though she hasn't professed eternal love, Logan knew that is where they were heading if given the chance to let what they had blossom.
"Logan?" Max called out as she entered Logan's penthouse. She asked him to meet her there for dinner; although the meal wasn't the only thing Max had in mind. She needed some privacy to tell Logan what she had finally decided to do about her uncle.
"In here Max." Logan yelled out from the kitchen as he stirred the sauce for his pasta tricolore. In stressful times such as these, cooking was one of the ways that Logan was able to keep his sanity.
Max smiled as she walked in the eating area, captivated by Logan's sight. He wasn't doing anything that he'd never done before, but now, everything was taking on a new and different meaning in light of the fact that he wanted her. That she made him happy. That maybe, just maybe, he loved her too.
"Smells good." She teased, a smile forming on her lips. He was cooking for her, and not just because it was convenient to cook for two. He was doing it because he wanted to. Because it was her.
Max grabbed a seat as the two of them tried to eat normally, as if everything was perfect in the world. You look beautiful Max. Thank you. There's a play a want to take you to. I'd love to go. Come try this. Hmmm...yummy. Can you pass me that please? Here you go. We'll clean up tomorrow. I don't mind. Let's go dance. I'll go put the music on.
"Logan, I need to discuss something with you." Max said as she disentangled herself from Logan's embrace after the music ended. She immediately felt a sense of loss as she stepped away from him, so she wrapped her arms around herself to keep from shivering.
"Alright." Logan took a seat and Max took the opposite chair, just a few inches away from him. The closeness they now shared was starting to be needed as much as breathing was.
Max sighed as she tried to tell Logan of her decision to leave the next day to confront her uncle. It was such a hard task; she didn't want to go at all. But it seemed that for far too long, escaping had been her chosen way of dealing with her problems. First, she left Greece to get away from her uncle. Then, a year had now passed yet she had always managed to stall in asking Logan why he never came back for her. Now, she was escaping again. She couldn't keep on running from her past because it would eventually catch up with her and hurt her even more.
Max needed to confront it, starting with her uncle. She needed to make him understand that he couldn't control her life anymore. Then, Max would confront Logan about their past. She wanted him to be her future, but the past would surely be something that would eventually come up and tear them apart if she let it lay dormant despite the fact that she was burning with curiosity to find out what his reasons were.
Yes, Max needed to go back to Greece. But there was no easy way to tell Logan without making him doubt of her sincerity when she proclaimed that she wanted to stay with him. Whatever they had was so precious and special to them both but it was still so new and volatile; even if the feelings run as deep as the blood that gave them life.
Max stood up and faced out the window, it was easier to say it without seeing the hurt that would surely cross Logan's attractive features. "I..." She started saying the words but they wouldn't come to her. She just couldn't do it. As if by some unconscious will, she couldn't let herself.
"Max, what is it?" Logan asked expectantly as he came up and stood behind her, willing her to turn around to face him.
Logan's presence invaded Max's space, she was not aware of anything else except for him. Yet she didn't mind at all. Only now there was no way for her to tell him as he gazed at her so lovingly. Yes, she would admit that now. He looked at her with so much love that it was impossible to even try denying that. She felt his gaze sweep her off her feet and transport her in a world of sensations so delightful she never wanted to leave. How could she ever tell him she was leaving? No, not now.
Max couldn't bear the sight of Logan hurting. But what she couldn't bear more was to refuse him if he ever asked her to stay. But what scared her terribly was the fact that he needed not ask at all. All he needed to do was say 'No' and she wouldn't ever go.
Max smiled. "Nothing Logan. I just miss this. We've been having take-out for the past week and we've been so busy that I guess I just wanted some alone time with you." Yes, that was it. Logan would find out soon enough why she asked for this special night. He'd find out in the morning when he found the letter she would leave him. It wouldn't hurt any less, but at least she wouldn't be there to witness him in pain; pain that she caused him.
A/N: The next chapter is 80% done, so you won't have to wait 2 months for it ; )