Clone High Episode 0.5- Shadowy and Secret- Can We Start Over?
Characters created by Phil Lord, Chris Miller and Bill Lawrence
Written by Andrew Kaiko
Here's my fan fiction of the prologue of the most entertaining, and most elusive, animated primetime television show today- Clone High. This fan fic centers fully on the life of Scudworth just when he is assigned the historical figure cloning project, and may answer several questions that fans of the show may have. None of the clones have speaking parts- just so those people who are expecting them to have prominent roles know about this. I am but a small, meek, toiling fan of the show and am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. All Clone High characters are copyright 2002-03 Nelvana International Limited and MTV Networks, a division of Viacom International, Inc.
(Beginning title cards appear with the Narrator whispering over them.)
Narrator: Tonight, on a very, very, VEEEEEEEERY special prologue. of Cl-
(The theme song does NOT play. It just fades out into a black screen, and pauses. We then hear a soft anticipating orchestra pitch that builds and builds over black-and-white screen shots of Scudworth's life. We see a photo of his graduating class from ASU. We see him in his first apartment room. We see his girlfriend. We see them together on a date. We see her slap him across the face. We see her go away. The photos fade into one another like a slide show, only by the end of the montage, they go quicker and quicker and quicker, until.
(A cemetery. Creepy, eerie music. A shadowy figure [no, not a government employee- just a figure that is shadowy] is digging a hole near a gravestone, struggling a bit and grunting. Scudworth's voice narrates over the actions.)
Scudworth: No one knows what friends and relations I had to sacrifice to envelope myself in complete isolation! Why did I choose this project? Was I lonely? Was I just looking for a place to feel comfortable with myself in this sad, cruel world?! Or was it.POWER?!?!??! We shall find out by starting from ..THE BEGINNING! A-HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
(As the figure is digging, a camera flash suddenly reveals the identity of the digger: Scudworth himself! In his black-hair days! And the flash reveals the grave he is digging to be Abraham Lincoln's! Fans of the show will recognize this black-and-white photo as the one shown in the standard Clone High Theme Song!
(Fades back in on the Pentagon. A subtitle appears that indicates it's the year 1986, which is further displayed by the employee's somewhat disgusting taste for Hi-Top sneakers, and David Bowie. Cut to a mail room, where a mail carrier pushes some boxes of mail. The boxes are all labeled 'Top Top TOP Secret Mail' in precariously child-like crayon lettering. He pushes them toward the check-in window. but doesn't stop.)
Clerk: Hey! Don't those boxes need to be handed through this window?
Mail Carrier: (nerdy kid, a bit nervous) Um, well, uh, these are, uh, SPECIAL boxes!
Clerk: All mail needs to be processed in the Mail Processing Room behind me!
MC: Um. not these boxes!
Clerk: Oh, yes they do!
MC: Why do you yell at me like that?! You're not my mommy!
Clerk: Where are you taking the boxes?
MC: Nowhere special! Nope! Just pushin' the boxes back to the Storage Area! Definitely NOWHERE near the Secret Board Room!
Clerk: The what? What room?
MC: I mean the Secret BORING Room! I'm mean the Non-Secret SHADOWY ROOM! I MEAN, I MEAN. STOP YELLING AT ME! THIS DISCUSSION NEVER HAPPENED! WAAAAAAH! (Dashes off with the boxes out of sight.)
Clerk: O-kay.
(The mail carrier nervously rushes to a dark hall, then to a metal safe, panicking. He disposes of the boxes through the safe, which are then carried through a series of metal portals, with many twists and turns- think a Haunted Ride at a carnival. The boxes go through metal detectors, weight scales, X-Rays and an unnecessarily huge number of security devices, including a machine programmed to shake the boxes against a mechanical ear [like a child trying to determine his Christmas present].
(And all through this, the credits for Clone High appear among the boxes' journey through the high-tech portal in this order.)
Nelvana International, Ltd. Presents
A Phil Lord and Chris Miller Production
In Association with MTV Networks
CLONE HIGH
Prologue Written by Andrew Kaiko
Art Direction by Dexter Smith, Carey Yost and Mike Moon
Music by Liam Lynch and Tom Walters
Produced by Jennifer Dewey and Bill Lawrence
Also Directed and Produced by Phil Lord and Chris Miller too
(Finally, the boxes drop into a room with only a spotlight above them. It is a large room, indicated by the echo of their fall. The impact of the fall force one of the boxes to form a hole, letting five vials break out and roll away.)
(Cut to Scudworth's apartment room.)
Subtitles: Somewhere far away from Washington, 1985
(It is a shabby place where a proper English bachelor would live, not entirely neat but livable. A 30-year-old Scudworth is at his desk writing notes, and simultaneously, rushing back and forth, building a mock-up model of a robot he's working on. The robot is very short and stubby, about 3 feet high, supported by three spokes with wheels. It doesn't even have the covering skin on yet- think C3-PO from Phantom Menace. Scudworth looks perplexed at a math equation, when the rings.)
Scudworth: Hello?
Shadowy Figure Voice: Scudworth, erase this call immediately after you hang up. This is top-secret information!
Scudworth: Um. who is this?
SFV: We cannot stay on the line for long, so I'll be short and too the point. Go to Room 51 at the Student Lab Center at Chicago U at 12 noon tomorrow! Good-bye!
Scudworth: YOU'RE THE IRS, AREN'T YOU?! (the voice hangs up)
(A confused Scudworth walks back to his robot model and continues to work on it.)
Scudworth: I have no idea what that was about, do you? Hmf! (screws in a smaller computer chip) Now to test your voice box! (screws it in completely and we hear a snap)
(The robot jerks quickly and his mouth starts to glow 'n sync with his speech. It talks in two distinct intonations.)
Robot: Oh! Oh! M! Mh! H! He! Hel! Hel-lo!
Scudworth: (like a proud mother) AAAAAAH! It's alive! It's alive! My 10- year-long experiment is a success! And it's his first word! YEEEEEEEE! I have to get my camera! (prances off to the closet!)
Robot: Hello! My cognitive system detects a very welcoming environment!
Scudworth: Say 'cheese'!
Robot: 'Cheese'!
(snap!)
Robot: Ow! My vision sensors are soooooooo blinded, due to the glare of the digital camera!
Scudworth: Robot! I am your master! But do not CALL me 'Master'! You shall call me. 'Scudworth'!
Robot: Okay, Scudworth! Whatever your demands are, I am programmed to obey and fulfill them to perfection!
Scudworth: Robot! I shall first give you a name! Now you remind me of a particular television sitcom character, so. I shall call YOU. Mr. BELVETRON! No no! Too obvious! Wouldn't gel well with the executives. How about. Mr. BUTLERTRON!
Robot: Is that official?
Scudworth: Yes, it's official! Oh, that and Lynn, and Mr. B, for short!
Robot: Approved. From now on, I only respond to the names 'Mr. Butlertron', 'Lynn' and/or 'Mr. B-For-Short'.
Scudworth: Oh, this is so exciting! Ha! Wait 'til Professor Utonium from Biology class hears about this! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mr. B: (repeats his diabolical laughter almost perfectly) AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Scudworth: At long last, a robot to love, and call my very own! Oh, Mr. B! We shall venture into the rest of the science world together with our best feet forward! Now, tomorrow, I have an..errand to run in Chicago U, and you can tag along!
Mr. B: "I'm. walking on sunshine! Whoa whoa!"
Scudworth and Mr. B: Mad Scientist Academy, here we come! Yippity-da-da! Yippity-da-da! Yippity-da-da!
(Cut to the place where the anonymous voice told him to go. Scudworth, careful not to give away his existence, creeps in through the door. but it's locked! Suddenly, the door opens from the other side and he and Mr. B cautiously go inside.
(The room is set up like an interrogation, with the table and overhead lamp. Scudworth hesitantly sits on one side with Mr. B to his left, and on the other side, are Shadowy Figures!)
Shadowy Figure: Cinnamon, we're here to talk pure business relations. Now may be the only chance to try something that may change the world of science forever! Read this manual about the task at hand, and ask any questions you may have.
(He hands him the manual, and Scudworth reads through it.)
Scudworth: .hmm. Mm-him!. Oh my! . Oh, goodness gracious me!
Mr. B: Are my parts showing!
Scudworth: Not you! I'll put a cover on your naked body when we get home!
Mr. B: What do you mean 'naked'?
Scudworth: (reading further, then laughing) A Clone High School?! Hahaha! Why, what I cute idea!
Shadowy Figure: Actually, Cinnamon, this project will require you to travel around the world in search of the bodies. You won't be living in your apartment for over a year.
Scudworth: (baffled and perplexed) T-Th-th-this is an extremely dangerous task, Shadowy Figure!
Shadowy Figure: Yes, but in return, you will have the overwhelming fulfillment of uncovering the physical presence of long-past leaders!
Scudworth: But.why me?!
Shadowy Figures: While searching our database, your name has been the most perfect match to this particular project, Cinnamon! We've been secretly following your every move ever since you graduated from high school and went into ASU! So don't play dumb with us, Mister! We KNOW your deepest secrets!
Scudworth: Well you'll never discover my AM and BM!
(Shadowy Figure smiles)
Scudworth: DAMMIT!
Shadowy Figure: If you'll be so kind as to follow us, we'll lead you to the Project: Mass Cloning Secret Appointing Room.
(He leads him to the dark red room, where another shadowy figure hands the Head a stamp-like device labeled 'Secret Shadowy Stamp-Like Appointing Thingy'. The Shadowy Figure takes Scudworth's right wrist and positions it underneath the stamp thingy. We are reminded of the scene in A Beautiful Mind, where Ed Harris places Russell Crowe's wrist so he can have identification to send secret decoded messages to the fictitious CIA mailbox.)
Shadowy Figure: You may feel as slight sting.
(SNAP!)
Scudworth: (in his hilarious falsetto voice) YOW! OHMYGOD! That Secret Stamp-Like Thingy REALLY SMARTS!
Shadowy Figure: We have installed a 'Super-Secret Identification Tag Number' in your wrist so only you are able to access us when you have secret information, bodies, plans and/or the DNA samples you are supposed to find!
Mr. B: Oh come on! How could a stapler hurt your wrist?! You've stapled my wrists many times and I felt fine!
Scudworth: Can it, you can! Can't you see that I am wallowing in excruciating pain at this moment?!
Shadowy Figure: Get used to it, because you'll undergo much more pain as the year goes on. Now go home and pack up quickly, because we've already secretly booked a set of Secret VIP Tickets to our Secret Shadowy Airline Departure-ment Station under your now-secret name. Bon-secret-voyage, and the best of secret luck too you.
(The Shadowy Figures secretly drags him out of the room and out through a back door. They leave and shut the door behind them. Secretly.)
Scudworth: Well, Mr. Butlertron, my robot butler. We have a long day ahead of us.
Mr. B: Wesleeeeeey.
(commercial break)
(A montage sequence of Scudworth traveling all around the world lasts about one and a half minutes. Using high-tech devices that he was given exclusively from the Board of Shadowy Figures, he goes to the tombs of Egypt to find the body of Cleopatra, to India to find the body of Gandhi, to France to find the. erm. ashes of Joan of Arc, etc. Apparently, all the DNA strands are sampled by picking tissue pieces out of the bodies' noses. At each location, a Shadowy Figure member is there to assist him with each mission.
(While on the Board's jet plane back to the United States, with Mr. B packed in the upper compartment, he gets paged by a familiar voice.)
Sheepman: (on the other line) Where are you, Scudworth?!
Scudworth: AAAAH! Sh-Sheepman! Oh, it's, uh, great to hear from you! How's the hoof condition?
Sheepman: Scudworth, I just wanted to call to ask about the promotion
Scudworth: Oh! Uh, the forms are being. processing.
Sheepman: Scudworth, you know I'm your first experiment in cloning humans, and as such, I expect to see some type of respect. I haven't been in any type of mass media and no one will even recognize me for my expansive knowledge of history!
Scudworth: I don't hate you because you're half human, Sheepman. It's just, I'm busy!
Sheepman: You've been busy ever since I moved out of your apartment! What the flippin' horn-toads are you doin'? Bringing back the dead?
Scudworth: (to the audience) OH, YOU SAW THAT COMING, DIDN'T YOU?!
(Cut to the Secret Shadowy Board Conference Room, which is directly below Washington, DC. It is a dark blue room with a dome roof decorated with United States flags and latitude and longitude lines, resembling a planetarium. In the center is a conference meeting in session. The one which appears to be the Head speaks.)
Subtitle appearing in typewriter style: Secret Board of Shadowy Figure Conference Room. Underground Washington DC, 1987
Shadowy Figure: Fellow employees of the Underground Board, it is now time to commence. Phase ONE!
(The boxes are slowly brought down to the center of the table by claw-like machines.)
Shadowy Figure: Today is the dawn of a new era, gentlemen. Within 20 years, using our own secretly planned technology resulted from knowledge unbeknownst to today's public, the first fully-successful clones of human beings will be made alive again. And not just any human beings, gentlemen, but clones of HISTORICAL FIGURES! The greatest minds of history will once again rule the world!
(All the employees applaud, when the Shadowy Figure frantically tells them to stop the noise!)
Shadowy Figure (whispering): We're supposed to be Secret, you clods! We're only 100 feet below the lowest floor of the Capitol Building, ya' know!
(All the employees shuffle in their seats and mumble to themselves, as if scolded by their mothers.)
Shadowy Figure: (to himself) Damn amateur architect. (to the employees) And now, you may open the boxes! (they all dive into their unwrapping, like eager children on Christmas Day!) Now now! No hogging! Share them with your Conference Buddy! That's good! Tommy, give Bobby back his scissors so he can stop whaling his fists on the floor! And hold them DOWNWARD, for Pete's sake!
(Inside half of the boxes are the chemical and mathematical plans on how to clone the people. They cover everything from how to go about getting a DNA sample to the actual process of growing the cells into embryos. The other half of the boxes contain vials of DNA and cells that were already collected. There are many DNA strands collected. but five strands of five particular people still need to be found!
(The Shadowy Figure grins an evil grin to himself, until he notices the hole in one of the boxes!)
Shadowy Figure: Dammit! Five of the approximately 547 DNA strands are missing!
(He activates the Gigantic Monitor, which scrolls down from the ceiling, and calls angrily.)
Scudworth: Give me Cinnamon J. Scudworth!
(Cut to Scudworth's new home, complete with an underground laboratory. Scudworth is in his office room filing some papers when his big screen TV comes down from the wall and turns itself on.)
Shadowy Figure: Scudworth!
Scudworth: Oh, it's you! Long time. No see! How are the little tykes doing?
Shadowy Figure: (exhausted tone) They're still one-celled organisms, Scudworth.
Scudworth: Well, you'd better get crackin'! I'm may not be saying this from personal experience, but you sure won't have them born by the end of the year by this rate!
Shadowy Figure: I'm here to tell you this is all YOUR fault!
Scudworth: What?! Mwa? Mr. B! My medication!
(Mr. B, now fully covered in metal skin and his red cardigan, fetches his pills.)
Shadowy Figure: It appears as though five of the approximately 547 DNA samples are missing! Being the kind gentlemen we are, we've compiled a list of the clone's fathers and mothers for you to keep as reference!
Scudworth: (enraged!) Are you saying I have to globetrot my 'hottie- trottie' all over again just for FIVE people?! (he wiggles his tushie when he emphasizes 'hottie-trottie'.)
Shadowy Figure: Think for a minute, about all you've been through! It should've been an incredible experience for you! You've seen faces no one has seen before-
Scudworth: And for a damn good reason! (shoving his pills down now)
Shadowy Figure: --but you never stopped to visit and smell the lucky roses once in a while?
Scudworth: Ha! They're just the reproductive organs of plants! They can't tell when you visit them!
Shadowy Figure: (holds his breath, and exhales, exasperated) It will be too soon before I hear that gag again. Okay! Just do this once again for us! And after that, it's all downhill from there! We promise!
Scudworth: Yeah, well, Happy Labor Day to you too!
(Figure cuts off.)
Scudworth: (to Mr. B) Ugh! I think I'm going to have an ulcer!
Mr. B: I'll turn on the Kenny G!
(Cut back to the graveyard scene we got a hint of in the opening scene.)
Subtitles: Abraham Lincoln's grave, Illinois, 1987
(It is nightfall. Scudworth is digging in front of the grave with Mr. B at his side, keeping watch.)
Scudworth: (whispering) Pitiful Mr. Lincoln! Too bad the world of science had to use you as one of the greatest leaders of mankind-
(Suddenly, he senses another presence, but sees nothing. He hesitantly continues digging. He hits something.)
Scudworth: (uncovering the American flagged wrapping and revealing the corpse underneath) You shouldn't be given a second chance! You don't deserve too! We ALL don't! Man has destroyed himself to the extent that they ALL want to play God! How pitiful-
(He stops and freezes vertically, like a prairie dog on the watch! There IS another presence here! Before he has time to react--)
FLASH!
(Gobbling up a bush nearby reveals none other than Mr. Sheepman with a Polaroid camera! His fleece is grayer than he is in the show, and he has a receding fleece-line on his head, and he doesn't need a cane to walk with.)
Scudworth: YOOOOOU!
Sheepman: This is for both our own good, Scudworth! I now have proof that you are working undercover, so now I don't have to worry about lack of recognition, and YOU can finally express YOURS!
Scudworth: YOU WOULDN'T DARE!
Sheepman: (suddenly maniacal) I would, unless I get what I deserve! I am a scientific break-through! I am NOT genetically flawed! I am a new species!
Scudworth: Stoppit with the mad scientist lingo!
Sheepman: (suddenly calm again, satisfied relieved look, stretching) Okay, it's just that I always wanted to do that.
Scudworth: Look! If it's recognition you want, you'll get it! My word is my bond this time! I'm serious! But not now! Because I have an urgent bag to drag to--, um, 'Sssssss-s-s-somewhere'! So good-bye! (the camera zooms out while Scudworth says this line to show the emptied grave and the corpse, which clearly shows that Scudworth's attempt not to give away what he is doing is useless.)
(He drags the body, accidentally hits the corpse's head against a rock, and awkwardly drags it off-screen. Pause. And then, he dashes back on-screen saying.)
Scudworth: And don't tell anyone about this! Right! Good! See you! (dashes back off, leaving Sheepman standing in the middle of the cemetery, wondering what to do.)
Sheepman: (to himself, evil grin) That man has touched so many bodies, I wouldn't be surprised if those ugly yellow rubber gloves wouldn't be able to come off! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Oh, YEAH, DOLLY! AHAHAHHAHAAA- oh, grass. Munch munch munch.
(commercial break)
Subtitles: Summer 1988, Board of Shadowy Figures Hospital. Location withheld.
(Waiting room. Scudworth is pacing back and forth, with tons of cigars in his pockets, like an antsy soon-to-be father. Mr. B is reading Rolling Stones magazine on the chair. A Shadowy Nurse [basically, a female shadowy figure with lipstick and the same stern expression] comes up to the window.)
Scudworth: (ultra-quick and flustered) THEY'RE READY?! HORRAH! CEASE THE DAY!
Shadowy Nurse: (deadpan demeanor) Don't get your lab coat all tied up in a knot, Doctor. It's only the 542nd one. (camera pans left to reveal a whole line of baby clones behind him.)
Scudworth: Oh right! It's just that I always get so nervous every time this happens! It's so RAD! It's like being a father, but, without the sex!
Shadowy Lady: Okay, THAT little remark tells me you need to lie down, Hon.
(Scudworth goes back to the ol' waiting chair, admiring the hundreds of clone babies piled upon one another, wailing, crying, squealing, and sucking their thumbs! They're all being aided by Shadowy Nurses who all resemble the Shadowy one in the window. Sure, it may look like a crazy zoo, but to everyone they're witnessing these beautiful budding souls, it's really just a zoo!)
Nurse: NEXT FETUS!
(In the operating room, the embryos are not in sacs, but in glass cases. So the cases need to be opened on the top and the machine umbilical cords cut off! The other Shadowy Nurses do just that for every one. At the time when the nurse shouts the about line, the fifth to last one pops out!)
2nd Nurse: It's a boy!
(The baby is unusually light, tanned, with glasses.)
Scudworth: I never knew babies could be born with glasses.
Nurse: Gandhi always wore glasses. You got a problem with that, Handsome?
(The next clone is freed. This one is particularly pale and skinny.)
Scudworth: Oh, and that must be our little Abraham! Oh, look! He's got my face! Same shape too!
(The Lincoln baby is placed next to the Gandhi baby. The Gandhi baby stares at the Abe baby and touches him to see if he's real. He ends up tickling him instead and they both exchange smiles and giggles. The Gandhi baby takes off his glasses and shoves them up his nose! Abe is delighted!)
(The head Shadowy Figure enters with a mouth mask and gloves, ready to extract the third to last clone, John F. Kennedy! This one is a healthy baby with no flaws!)
Shadowy Figure: He's a feisty one, all right! (places JFK next to the other two, at a distance.)
Nurse: Okay, last one! Hiya! (punches the glass open and out slips Cleopatra.)
Scudworth: Hey there, new baby! That's a cute headband! She looks just like the real Cleopatra! (She is placed next to JFK. She looks at the JFK baby and starts licking her lips)
Shadowy Figure: That's all of them! Good work, me-
Nurse: HOLD IT!
(everyone freezes and stares at her, including the babies)
Nurse: I was mistaken- there's one more!
(She carries the glass case up on the table, and has a particularly hard time opening it up. Out comes a baby that is even paler than Abe Lincoln- wide-pretty eyes, but with an expression like makes a stomach turn over.)
Scudworth: Oh great! It's crying! (this line is supposed to be a parallel to Cleo's line in Episode 12: The Makeover Episode, where she also called Joan 'it'.)
Mr. B: Who is that supposed to be a clone of?
Nurse: I'm not sure. Oh, now I remember! It's Joan of Arc!
Mr. B: Joan of What?
Nurse: Arc!
Shadowy Figure: Um. What of Arc?
Nurse: JOAN! JOAN OF ARC! Ya' know, the, uh, the uh. I can't remember what she did.
(No one else in the room seems to know what she did either. Even the babies shrug.)
Scudworth: Oh, well! Just toss it over your shoulder on the counter with the other babies. WE'RE DONE!
(Everyone gets ready to cheer when the Shadowy Figure interrupts.)
Shadowy Figure: No, we are far from done! In fact, we've only begun. These babies all need to grow in real time, and we must make sure they grow up to be the leaders and warriors ready for combat! There's only one way we can make sure of it.
Scudworth: What's that?
Shadowy Figure: (turns head at the camera, for dramatic effect) Send them away to FOSTER PARENTS!
Scudworth: Um, we're over here.
Shadowy Figure: (turning head back in their direction) Send them away to FOSTER PARENTS! We shall be like the stork delivering the basket to people's doorsteps! We shall put all these babies in baskets and send them off, through mechanical stork transportation, to a little town the Board has build specifically for this project: EXCLAMATION!, USA! We have built identical suburban houses, a Clone Elementary School, a Clone High School, and Clone State! (suddenly in an undermining tone) Paramount Pictures and Scott Rudin Productions were kind enough to donate the set of The Truman Show into our use.
(Pause.)
Shadowy Figure: LET'S MOVE!
(MONTAGE SEQUENCE, WITH THE INSTRUMENTAL VERSION OF THE CLONE HIGH THEME SONG BY ABANDONED POOLS RUNNING OVER THESE SCENES!)
(One last montage sequence of all the babies being carried by basket onto the doorsteps of various adults' homes in EXCLAMATION, USA! These adults all volunteered to play Mom and Dad in the fake town to whichever baby they received. Gandhi and Cleo are both in the same basket, so they both drop off to the steps of a drunken lady with her beau [they divorce later]. Abe is sent to a nice homely couple. Joan of Arc is sent to the home of Toots, a blind black man and retired jazz musician. JFK is sent to a gay couple named Wally and Carl. All these foster parents read the notice attached to the baskets, saying who the babies are clones of, and how to raise each one! They all simultaneously take them inside and close the front door, ready to perform their lifelong roles.)
(Scudworth stands on the edge of a cliff with Mr. Bultertron and Mr. Sheepman, overlooking the houses below.)
Scudworth: (his voice a bit softer) Sheepman, they hired me to be to be the principal of the Clone High School, you know.
Sheepman: You'd make a fine principal, pal!
Scudworth: Um. Look, I've thought about it, and I was wondering if you'd like to be one of the history teachers at Clone High, when the time comes, that is.
Sheepman: Oh, now don't go bothering your head over our little dispute that night at the cemetery. I'm all right, trust me!
Scudworth: (honored and relieved) Thank you for not calling my bluff.
(Sheepman just nods to himself. He fiddles with the photo he took of a digging Scudworth, that he keeps inside his fleece pocket.)
Scudworth: So, I guess you'll take my offer?
Sheepman: How is it an offer?
Scudworth: Well, I said that night that I'd give you the recognition you deserve. I mean, you're a scholar of History! Your role as a kindly History teacher to clones of enormously famous and wonderful people would be good enough!
Sheepman: (smiles and knows that he means it) Yes it would. Back when we were roommates, you were always complaining about how much of an introvert and recluse you were. (Scudworth smiles.) And you still are. (He pouts comically.) But in this opportunity of a lifetime, you'll live where you'll never be alone.
(Sheepman suddenly looses his balance and groans, supporting himself from hitting the ground with a shaky right arm! Scudworth responds quickly and supports him.)
Scudworth: My God, Sheepman! You're back gave in!
Sheepman: (not entirely disappointed) Oh, I new it would happen sooner or later. I'm getting old, Scudworth.
Scudworth: My first living experiment! Oh, I'll make sure you get that position as a History teacher! One way or another!
Sheepman: Here. Take the photo I took of you and put it somewhere safe. It should be yours anyway. Just take this chance and use your power over the clones wisely.
Scudworth: Thank you Sheepman. You've had a good run. (to the band set-up down in the Town Founding Fair Celebration) ABANDONED POOLS, HIT IT!
Tom Walter: You got it, High School Principal!
(Abandoned Pools start to play 'Start Over'. As they're playing it, we view clips of the clones' experiences as toddlers, children and preteens. Some are bad memories. Near the bridge in the middle of the song, the photos stop showing and we are treated with the very first scene of the first real episode, of Abe and Gandhi walking toward their first day of a new school year.)
Abe: Gandhi, this year's going to be different.
THE END
Characters created by Phil Lord, Chris Miller and Bill Lawrence
Written by Andrew Kaiko
Here's my fan fiction of the prologue of the most entertaining, and most elusive, animated primetime television show today- Clone High. This fan fic centers fully on the life of Scudworth just when he is assigned the historical figure cloning project, and may answer several questions that fans of the show may have. None of the clones have speaking parts- just so those people who are expecting them to have prominent roles know about this. I am but a small, meek, toiling fan of the show and am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. All Clone High characters are copyright 2002-03 Nelvana International Limited and MTV Networks, a division of Viacom International, Inc.
(Beginning title cards appear with the Narrator whispering over them.)
Narrator: Tonight, on a very, very, VEEEEEEEERY special prologue. of Cl-
(The theme song does NOT play. It just fades out into a black screen, and pauses. We then hear a soft anticipating orchestra pitch that builds and builds over black-and-white screen shots of Scudworth's life. We see a photo of his graduating class from ASU. We see him in his first apartment room. We see his girlfriend. We see them together on a date. We see her slap him across the face. We see her go away. The photos fade into one another like a slide show, only by the end of the montage, they go quicker and quicker and quicker, until.
(A cemetery. Creepy, eerie music. A shadowy figure [no, not a government employee- just a figure that is shadowy] is digging a hole near a gravestone, struggling a bit and grunting. Scudworth's voice narrates over the actions.)
Scudworth: No one knows what friends and relations I had to sacrifice to envelope myself in complete isolation! Why did I choose this project? Was I lonely? Was I just looking for a place to feel comfortable with myself in this sad, cruel world?! Or was it.POWER?!?!??! We shall find out by starting from ..THE BEGINNING! A-HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
(As the figure is digging, a camera flash suddenly reveals the identity of the digger: Scudworth himself! In his black-hair days! And the flash reveals the grave he is digging to be Abraham Lincoln's! Fans of the show will recognize this black-and-white photo as the one shown in the standard Clone High Theme Song!
(Fades back in on the Pentagon. A subtitle appears that indicates it's the year 1986, which is further displayed by the employee's somewhat disgusting taste for Hi-Top sneakers, and David Bowie. Cut to a mail room, where a mail carrier pushes some boxes of mail. The boxes are all labeled 'Top Top TOP Secret Mail' in precariously child-like crayon lettering. He pushes them toward the check-in window. but doesn't stop.)
Clerk: Hey! Don't those boxes need to be handed through this window?
Mail Carrier: (nerdy kid, a bit nervous) Um, well, uh, these are, uh, SPECIAL boxes!
Clerk: All mail needs to be processed in the Mail Processing Room behind me!
MC: Um. not these boxes!
Clerk: Oh, yes they do!
MC: Why do you yell at me like that?! You're not my mommy!
Clerk: Where are you taking the boxes?
MC: Nowhere special! Nope! Just pushin' the boxes back to the Storage Area! Definitely NOWHERE near the Secret Board Room!
Clerk: The what? What room?
MC: I mean the Secret BORING Room! I'm mean the Non-Secret SHADOWY ROOM! I MEAN, I MEAN. STOP YELLING AT ME! THIS DISCUSSION NEVER HAPPENED! WAAAAAAH! (Dashes off with the boxes out of sight.)
Clerk: O-kay.
(The mail carrier nervously rushes to a dark hall, then to a metal safe, panicking. He disposes of the boxes through the safe, which are then carried through a series of metal portals, with many twists and turns- think a Haunted Ride at a carnival. The boxes go through metal detectors, weight scales, X-Rays and an unnecessarily huge number of security devices, including a machine programmed to shake the boxes against a mechanical ear [like a child trying to determine his Christmas present].
(And all through this, the credits for Clone High appear among the boxes' journey through the high-tech portal in this order.)
Nelvana International, Ltd. Presents
A Phil Lord and Chris Miller Production
In Association with MTV Networks
CLONE HIGH
Prologue Written by Andrew Kaiko
Art Direction by Dexter Smith, Carey Yost and Mike Moon
Music by Liam Lynch and Tom Walters
Produced by Jennifer Dewey and Bill Lawrence
Also Directed and Produced by Phil Lord and Chris Miller too
(Finally, the boxes drop into a room with only a spotlight above them. It is a large room, indicated by the echo of their fall. The impact of the fall force one of the boxes to form a hole, letting five vials break out and roll away.)
(Cut to Scudworth's apartment room.)
Subtitles: Somewhere far away from Washington, 1985
(It is a shabby place where a proper English bachelor would live, not entirely neat but livable. A 30-year-old Scudworth is at his desk writing notes, and simultaneously, rushing back and forth, building a mock-up model of a robot he's working on. The robot is very short and stubby, about 3 feet high, supported by three spokes with wheels. It doesn't even have the covering skin on yet- think C3-PO from Phantom Menace. Scudworth looks perplexed at a math equation, when the rings.)
Scudworth: Hello?
Shadowy Figure Voice: Scudworth, erase this call immediately after you hang up. This is top-secret information!
Scudworth: Um. who is this?
SFV: We cannot stay on the line for long, so I'll be short and too the point. Go to Room 51 at the Student Lab Center at Chicago U at 12 noon tomorrow! Good-bye!
Scudworth: YOU'RE THE IRS, AREN'T YOU?! (the voice hangs up)
(A confused Scudworth walks back to his robot model and continues to work on it.)
Scudworth: I have no idea what that was about, do you? Hmf! (screws in a smaller computer chip) Now to test your voice box! (screws it in completely and we hear a snap)
(The robot jerks quickly and his mouth starts to glow 'n sync with his speech. It talks in two distinct intonations.)
Robot: Oh! Oh! M! Mh! H! He! Hel! Hel-lo!
Scudworth: (like a proud mother) AAAAAAH! It's alive! It's alive! My 10- year-long experiment is a success! And it's his first word! YEEEEEEEE! I have to get my camera! (prances off to the closet!)
Robot: Hello! My cognitive system detects a very welcoming environment!
Scudworth: Say 'cheese'!
Robot: 'Cheese'!
(snap!)
Robot: Ow! My vision sensors are soooooooo blinded, due to the glare of the digital camera!
Scudworth: Robot! I am your master! But do not CALL me 'Master'! You shall call me. 'Scudworth'!
Robot: Okay, Scudworth! Whatever your demands are, I am programmed to obey and fulfill them to perfection!
Scudworth: Robot! I shall first give you a name! Now you remind me of a particular television sitcom character, so. I shall call YOU. Mr. BELVETRON! No no! Too obvious! Wouldn't gel well with the executives. How about. Mr. BUTLERTRON!
Robot: Is that official?
Scudworth: Yes, it's official! Oh, that and Lynn, and Mr. B, for short!
Robot: Approved. From now on, I only respond to the names 'Mr. Butlertron', 'Lynn' and/or 'Mr. B-For-Short'.
Scudworth: Oh, this is so exciting! Ha! Wait 'til Professor Utonium from Biology class hears about this! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mr. B: (repeats his diabolical laughter almost perfectly) AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Scudworth: At long last, a robot to love, and call my very own! Oh, Mr. B! We shall venture into the rest of the science world together with our best feet forward! Now, tomorrow, I have an..errand to run in Chicago U, and you can tag along!
Mr. B: "I'm. walking on sunshine! Whoa whoa!"
Scudworth and Mr. B: Mad Scientist Academy, here we come! Yippity-da-da! Yippity-da-da! Yippity-da-da!
(Cut to the place where the anonymous voice told him to go. Scudworth, careful not to give away his existence, creeps in through the door. but it's locked! Suddenly, the door opens from the other side and he and Mr. B cautiously go inside.
(The room is set up like an interrogation, with the table and overhead lamp. Scudworth hesitantly sits on one side with Mr. B to his left, and on the other side, are Shadowy Figures!)
Shadowy Figure: Cinnamon, we're here to talk pure business relations. Now may be the only chance to try something that may change the world of science forever! Read this manual about the task at hand, and ask any questions you may have.
(He hands him the manual, and Scudworth reads through it.)
Scudworth: .hmm. Mm-him!. Oh my! . Oh, goodness gracious me!
Mr. B: Are my parts showing!
Scudworth: Not you! I'll put a cover on your naked body when we get home!
Mr. B: What do you mean 'naked'?
Scudworth: (reading further, then laughing) A Clone High School?! Hahaha! Why, what I cute idea!
Shadowy Figure: Actually, Cinnamon, this project will require you to travel around the world in search of the bodies. You won't be living in your apartment for over a year.
Scudworth: (baffled and perplexed) T-Th-th-this is an extremely dangerous task, Shadowy Figure!
Shadowy Figure: Yes, but in return, you will have the overwhelming fulfillment of uncovering the physical presence of long-past leaders!
Scudworth: But.why me?!
Shadowy Figures: While searching our database, your name has been the most perfect match to this particular project, Cinnamon! We've been secretly following your every move ever since you graduated from high school and went into ASU! So don't play dumb with us, Mister! We KNOW your deepest secrets!
Scudworth: Well you'll never discover my AM and BM!
(Shadowy Figure smiles)
Scudworth: DAMMIT!
Shadowy Figure: If you'll be so kind as to follow us, we'll lead you to the Project: Mass Cloning Secret Appointing Room.
(He leads him to the dark red room, where another shadowy figure hands the Head a stamp-like device labeled 'Secret Shadowy Stamp-Like Appointing Thingy'. The Shadowy Figure takes Scudworth's right wrist and positions it underneath the stamp thingy. We are reminded of the scene in A Beautiful Mind, where Ed Harris places Russell Crowe's wrist so he can have identification to send secret decoded messages to the fictitious CIA mailbox.)
Shadowy Figure: You may feel as slight sting.
(SNAP!)
Scudworth: (in his hilarious falsetto voice) YOW! OHMYGOD! That Secret Stamp-Like Thingy REALLY SMARTS!
Shadowy Figure: We have installed a 'Super-Secret Identification Tag Number' in your wrist so only you are able to access us when you have secret information, bodies, plans and/or the DNA samples you are supposed to find!
Mr. B: Oh come on! How could a stapler hurt your wrist?! You've stapled my wrists many times and I felt fine!
Scudworth: Can it, you can! Can't you see that I am wallowing in excruciating pain at this moment?!
Shadowy Figure: Get used to it, because you'll undergo much more pain as the year goes on. Now go home and pack up quickly, because we've already secretly booked a set of Secret VIP Tickets to our Secret Shadowy Airline Departure-ment Station under your now-secret name. Bon-secret-voyage, and the best of secret luck too you.
(The Shadowy Figures secretly drags him out of the room and out through a back door. They leave and shut the door behind them. Secretly.)
Scudworth: Well, Mr. Butlertron, my robot butler. We have a long day ahead of us.
Mr. B: Wesleeeeeey.
(commercial break)
(A montage sequence of Scudworth traveling all around the world lasts about one and a half minutes. Using high-tech devices that he was given exclusively from the Board of Shadowy Figures, he goes to the tombs of Egypt to find the body of Cleopatra, to India to find the body of Gandhi, to France to find the. erm. ashes of Joan of Arc, etc. Apparently, all the DNA strands are sampled by picking tissue pieces out of the bodies' noses. At each location, a Shadowy Figure member is there to assist him with each mission.
(While on the Board's jet plane back to the United States, with Mr. B packed in the upper compartment, he gets paged by a familiar voice.)
Sheepman: (on the other line) Where are you, Scudworth?!
Scudworth: AAAAH! Sh-Sheepman! Oh, it's, uh, great to hear from you! How's the hoof condition?
Sheepman: Scudworth, I just wanted to call to ask about the promotion
Scudworth: Oh! Uh, the forms are being. processing.
Sheepman: Scudworth, you know I'm your first experiment in cloning humans, and as such, I expect to see some type of respect. I haven't been in any type of mass media and no one will even recognize me for my expansive knowledge of history!
Scudworth: I don't hate you because you're half human, Sheepman. It's just, I'm busy!
Sheepman: You've been busy ever since I moved out of your apartment! What the flippin' horn-toads are you doin'? Bringing back the dead?
Scudworth: (to the audience) OH, YOU SAW THAT COMING, DIDN'T YOU?!
(Cut to the Secret Shadowy Board Conference Room, which is directly below Washington, DC. It is a dark blue room with a dome roof decorated with United States flags and latitude and longitude lines, resembling a planetarium. In the center is a conference meeting in session. The one which appears to be the Head speaks.)
Subtitle appearing in typewriter style: Secret Board of Shadowy Figure Conference Room. Underground Washington DC, 1987
Shadowy Figure: Fellow employees of the Underground Board, it is now time to commence. Phase ONE!
(The boxes are slowly brought down to the center of the table by claw-like machines.)
Shadowy Figure: Today is the dawn of a new era, gentlemen. Within 20 years, using our own secretly planned technology resulted from knowledge unbeknownst to today's public, the first fully-successful clones of human beings will be made alive again. And not just any human beings, gentlemen, but clones of HISTORICAL FIGURES! The greatest minds of history will once again rule the world!
(All the employees applaud, when the Shadowy Figure frantically tells them to stop the noise!)
Shadowy Figure (whispering): We're supposed to be Secret, you clods! We're only 100 feet below the lowest floor of the Capitol Building, ya' know!
(All the employees shuffle in their seats and mumble to themselves, as if scolded by their mothers.)
Shadowy Figure: (to himself) Damn amateur architect. (to the employees) And now, you may open the boxes! (they all dive into their unwrapping, like eager children on Christmas Day!) Now now! No hogging! Share them with your Conference Buddy! That's good! Tommy, give Bobby back his scissors so he can stop whaling his fists on the floor! And hold them DOWNWARD, for Pete's sake!
(Inside half of the boxes are the chemical and mathematical plans on how to clone the people. They cover everything from how to go about getting a DNA sample to the actual process of growing the cells into embryos. The other half of the boxes contain vials of DNA and cells that were already collected. There are many DNA strands collected. but five strands of five particular people still need to be found!
(The Shadowy Figure grins an evil grin to himself, until he notices the hole in one of the boxes!)
Shadowy Figure: Dammit! Five of the approximately 547 DNA strands are missing!
(He activates the Gigantic Monitor, which scrolls down from the ceiling, and calls angrily.)
Scudworth: Give me Cinnamon J. Scudworth!
(Cut to Scudworth's new home, complete with an underground laboratory. Scudworth is in his office room filing some papers when his big screen TV comes down from the wall and turns itself on.)
Shadowy Figure: Scudworth!
Scudworth: Oh, it's you! Long time. No see! How are the little tykes doing?
Shadowy Figure: (exhausted tone) They're still one-celled organisms, Scudworth.
Scudworth: Well, you'd better get crackin'! I'm may not be saying this from personal experience, but you sure won't have them born by the end of the year by this rate!
Shadowy Figure: I'm here to tell you this is all YOUR fault!
Scudworth: What?! Mwa? Mr. B! My medication!
(Mr. B, now fully covered in metal skin and his red cardigan, fetches his pills.)
Shadowy Figure: It appears as though five of the approximately 547 DNA samples are missing! Being the kind gentlemen we are, we've compiled a list of the clone's fathers and mothers for you to keep as reference!
Scudworth: (enraged!) Are you saying I have to globetrot my 'hottie- trottie' all over again just for FIVE people?! (he wiggles his tushie when he emphasizes 'hottie-trottie'.)
Shadowy Figure: Think for a minute, about all you've been through! It should've been an incredible experience for you! You've seen faces no one has seen before-
Scudworth: And for a damn good reason! (shoving his pills down now)
Shadowy Figure: --but you never stopped to visit and smell the lucky roses once in a while?
Scudworth: Ha! They're just the reproductive organs of plants! They can't tell when you visit them!
Shadowy Figure: (holds his breath, and exhales, exasperated) It will be too soon before I hear that gag again. Okay! Just do this once again for us! And after that, it's all downhill from there! We promise!
Scudworth: Yeah, well, Happy Labor Day to you too!
(Figure cuts off.)
Scudworth: (to Mr. B) Ugh! I think I'm going to have an ulcer!
Mr. B: I'll turn on the Kenny G!
(Cut back to the graveyard scene we got a hint of in the opening scene.)
Subtitles: Abraham Lincoln's grave, Illinois, 1987
(It is nightfall. Scudworth is digging in front of the grave with Mr. B at his side, keeping watch.)
Scudworth: (whispering) Pitiful Mr. Lincoln! Too bad the world of science had to use you as one of the greatest leaders of mankind-
(Suddenly, he senses another presence, but sees nothing. He hesitantly continues digging. He hits something.)
Scudworth: (uncovering the American flagged wrapping and revealing the corpse underneath) You shouldn't be given a second chance! You don't deserve too! We ALL don't! Man has destroyed himself to the extent that they ALL want to play God! How pitiful-
(He stops and freezes vertically, like a prairie dog on the watch! There IS another presence here! Before he has time to react--)
FLASH!
(Gobbling up a bush nearby reveals none other than Mr. Sheepman with a Polaroid camera! His fleece is grayer than he is in the show, and he has a receding fleece-line on his head, and he doesn't need a cane to walk with.)
Scudworth: YOOOOOU!
Sheepman: This is for both our own good, Scudworth! I now have proof that you are working undercover, so now I don't have to worry about lack of recognition, and YOU can finally express YOURS!
Scudworth: YOU WOULDN'T DARE!
Sheepman: (suddenly maniacal) I would, unless I get what I deserve! I am a scientific break-through! I am NOT genetically flawed! I am a new species!
Scudworth: Stoppit with the mad scientist lingo!
Sheepman: (suddenly calm again, satisfied relieved look, stretching) Okay, it's just that I always wanted to do that.
Scudworth: Look! If it's recognition you want, you'll get it! My word is my bond this time! I'm serious! But not now! Because I have an urgent bag to drag to--, um, 'Sssssss-s-s-somewhere'! So good-bye! (the camera zooms out while Scudworth says this line to show the emptied grave and the corpse, which clearly shows that Scudworth's attempt not to give away what he is doing is useless.)
(He drags the body, accidentally hits the corpse's head against a rock, and awkwardly drags it off-screen. Pause. And then, he dashes back on-screen saying.)
Scudworth: And don't tell anyone about this! Right! Good! See you! (dashes back off, leaving Sheepman standing in the middle of the cemetery, wondering what to do.)
Sheepman: (to himself, evil grin) That man has touched so many bodies, I wouldn't be surprised if those ugly yellow rubber gloves wouldn't be able to come off! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Oh, YEAH, DOLLY! AHAHAHHAHAAA- oh, grass. Munch munch munch.
(commercial break)
Subtitles: Summer 1988, Board of Shadowy Figures Hospital. Location withheld.
(Waiting room. Scudworth is pacing back and forth, with tons of cigars in his pockets, like an antsy soon-to-be father. Mr. B is reading Rolling Stones magazine on the chair. A Shadowy Nurse [basically, a female shadowy figure with lipstick and the same stern expression] comes up to the window.)
Scudworth: (ultra-quick and flustered) THEY'RE READY?! HORRAH! CEASE THE DAY!
Shadowy Nurse: (deadpan demeanor) Don't get your lab coat all tied up in a knot, Doctor. It's only the 542nd one. (camera pans left to reveal a whole line of baby clones behind him.)
Scudworth: Oh right! It's just that I always get so nervous every time this happens! It's so RAD! It's like being a father, but, without the sex!
Shadowy Lady: Okay, THAT little remark tells me you need to lie down, Hon.
(Scudworth goes back to the ol' waiting chair, admiring the hundreds of clone babies piled upon one another, wailing, crying, squealing, and sucking their thumbs! They're all being aided by Shadowy Nurses who all resemble the Shadowy one in the window. Sure, it may look like a crazy zoo, but to everyone they're witnessing these beautiful budding souls, it's really just a zoo!)
Nurse: NEXT FETUS!
(In the operating room, the embryos are not in sacs, but in glass cases. So the cases need to be opened on the top and the machine umbilical cords cut off! The other Shadowy Nurses do just that for every one. At the time when the nurse shouts the about line, the fifth to last one pops out!)
2nd Nurse: It's a boy!
(The baby is unusually light, tanned, with glasses.)
Scudworth: I never knew babies could be born with glasses.
Nurse: Gandhi always wore glasses. You got a problem with that, Handsome?
(The next clone is freed. This one is particularly pale and skinny.)
Scudworth: Oh, and that must be our little Abraham! Oh, look! He's got my face! Same shape too!
(The Lincoln baby is placed next to the Gandhi baby. The Gandhi baby stares at the Abe baby and touches him to see if he's real. He ends up tickling him instead and they both exchange smiles and giggles. The Gandhi baby takes off his glasses and shoves them up his nose! Abe is delighted!)
(The head Shadowy Figure enters with a mouth mask and gloves, ready to extract the third to last clone, John F. Kennedy! This one is a healthy baby with no flaws!)
Shadowy Figure: He's a feisty one, all right! (places JFK next to the other two, at a distance.)
Nurse: Okay, last one! Hiya! (punches the glass open and out slips Cleopatra.)
Scudworth: Hey there, new baby! That's a cute headband! She looks just like the real Cleopatra! (She is placed next to JFK. She looks at the JFK baby and starts licking her lips)
Shadowy Figure: That's all of them! Good work, me-
Nurse: HOLD IT!
(everyone freezes and stares at her, including the babies)
Nurse: I was mistaken- there's one more!
(She carries the glass case up on the table, and has a particularly hard time opening it up. Out comes a baby that is even paler than Abe Lincoln- wide-pretty eyes, but with an expression like makes a stomach turn over.)
Scudworth: Oh great! It's crying! (this line is supposed to be a parallel to Cleo's line in Episode 12: The Makeover Episode, where she also called Joan 'it'.)
Mr. B: Who is that supposed to be a clone of?
Nurse: I'm not sure. Oh, now I remember! It's Joan of Arc!
Mr. B: Joan of What?
Nurse: Arc!
Shadowy Figure: Um. What of Arc?
Nurse: JOAN! JOAN OF ARC! Ya' know, the, uh, the uh. I can't remember what she did.
(No one else in the room seems to know what she did either. Even the babies shrug.)
Scudworth: Oh, well! Just toss it over your shoulder on the counter with the other babies. WE'RE DONE!
(Everyone gets ready to cheer when the Shadowy Figure interrupts.)
Shadowy Figure: No, we are far from done! In fact, we've only begun. These babies all need to grow in real time, and we must make sure they grow up to be the leaders and warriors ready for combat! There's only one way we can make sure of it.
Scudworth: What's that?
Shadowy Figure: (turns head at the camera, for dramatic effect) Send them away to FOSTER PARENTS!
Scudworth: Um, we're over here.
Shadowy Figure: (turning head back in their direction) Send them away to FOSTER PARENTS! We shall be like the stork delivering the basket to people's doorsteps! We shall put all these babies in baskets and send them off, through mechanical stork transportation, to a little town the Board has build specifically for this project: EXCLAMATION!, USA! We have built identical suburban houses, a Clone Elementary School, a Clone High School, and Clone State! (suddenly in an undermining tone) Paramount Pictures and Scott Rudin Productions were kind enough to donate the set of The Truman Show into our use.
(Pause.)
Shadowy Figure: LET'S MOVE!
(MONTAGE SEQUENCE, WITH THE INSTRUMENTAL VERSION OF THE CLONE HIGH THEME SONG BY ABANDONED POOLS RUNNING OVER THESE SCENES!)
(One last montage sequence of all the babies being carried by basket onto the doorsteps of various adults' homes in EXCLAMATION, USA! These adults all volunteered to play Mom and Dad in the fake town to whichever baby they received. Gandhi and Cleo are both in the same basket, so they both drop off to the steps of a drunken lady with her beau [they divorce later]. Abe is sent to a nice homely couple. Joan of Arc is sent to the home of Toots, a blind black man and retired jazz musician. JFK is sent to a gay couple named Wally and Carl. All these foster parents read the notice attached to the baskets, saying who the babies are clones of, and how to raise each one! They all simultaneously take them inside and close the front door, ready to perform their lifelong roles.)
(Scudworth stands on the edge of a cliff with Mr. Bultertron and Mr. Sheepman, overlooking the houses below.)
Scudworth: (his voice a bit softer) Sheepman, they hired me to be to be the principal of the Clone High School, you know.
Sheepman: You'd make a fine principal, pal!
Scudworth: Um. Look, I've thought about it, and I was wondering if you'd like to be one of the history teachers at Clone High, when the time comes, that is.
Sheepman: Oh, now don't go bothering your head over our little dispute that night at the cemetery. I'm all right, trust me!
Scudworth: (honored and relieved) Thank you for not calling my bluff.
(Sheepman just nods to himself. He fiddles with the photo he took of a digging Scudworth, that he keeps inside his fleece pocket.)
Scudworth: So, I guess you'll take my offer?
Sheepman: How is it an offer?
Scudworth: Well, I said that night that I'd give you the recognition you deserve. I mean, you're a scholar of History! Your role as a kindly History teacher to clones of enormously famous and wonderful people would be good enough!
Sheepman: (smiles and knows that he means it) Yes it would. Back when we were roommates, you were always complaining about how much of an introvert and recluse you were. (Scudworth smiles.) And you still are. (He pouts comically.) But in this opportunity of a lifetime, you'll live where you'll never be alone.
(Sheepman suddenly looses his balance and groans, supporting himself from hitting the ground with a shaky right arm! Scudworth responds quickly and supports him.)
Scudworth: My God, Sheepman! You're back gave in!
Sheepman: (not entirely disappointed) Oh, I new it would happen sooner or later. I'm getting old, Scudworth.
Scudworth: My first living experiment! Oh, I'll make sure you get that position as a History teacher! One way or another!
Sheepman: Here. Take the photo I took of you and put it somewhere safe. It should be yours anyway. Just take this chance and use your power over the clones wisely.
Scudworth: Thank you Sheepman. You've had a good run. (to the band set-up down in the Town Founding Fair Celebration) ABANDONED POOLS, HIT IT!
Tom Walter: You got it, High School Principal!
(Abandoned Pools start to play 'Start Over'. As they're playing it, we view clips of the clones' experiences as toddlers, children and preteens. Some are bad memories. Near the bridge in the middle of the song, the photos stop showing and we are treated with the very first scene of the first real episode, of Abe and Gandhi walking toward their first day of a new school year.)
Abe: Gandhi, this year's going to be different.
THE END