Note From Author: Thanks to all those that reviewed. And to Ele Keats: I am
very sorry about this and know that you are not a nympho in real life, it's
just my revenge for you playing Sarah--
ELE KEATS: THE NYMPHOMANIAC
::Location: 1991 in an airy room on the bottom level of a building in the Universal Studios lot. Behind a fold out table sits Kenny Ortega and random others. Miscellaneous sheets of paper and 8 x 10 headshots adorn the tabletop::
Ortega (to random others at table): Okay, I know that these are OPEN auditions, but why the hell does someone like, what's her name?
Woman: Ann-Margret?
Ortega: Right, Ann-Margret have to come and completely deconstruct my whole beautiful vision. It sends absolute shudders down my spine to think-
::Ortega is interrupted as door opens. Ele Keats shuffles in wearing a very placid look and with her arms wrapped around her. She halts in front of Ortega. Ortega regards her incredulously as he stares at Ann-Margret's headshot::
Ortega (bewildered): Ann-Margret?
::Ele shakes her head::
Ele (cool, collected): No, my name is Ele Keats.
Ortega (ruffling through papers, trying to find headshot): Ele Keats? Ele Keats?
Ele: Yes, sir.
Ortega: Ele Keats? Ele Keats? (looks her over carefully, sneer adorning face) No, no, you are not part of my vision of else He would have informed me. No, I'm very sorry but you'll just have to go.
Ele: Please, sir-
Woman (to Ortega): Kenny, you DID say yourself that these were OPEN auditions.
::Ortgea leans back in chair listlessly::
Ortega (sighing loudly): Oh, fine, go ahead. Although I don't see what use it is since it's not part of my wonderful vision-But, go ahead, what the hell have you been in?
Ele: Well, I've been in The Rocketeer-
Ortega (loudly): Oh, The Rocketeer! Didn't that little ditty sweep the Oscars last year?
Ele: And I was born in France-
Ortega: Well doesn't that just make you the little wonder! Born in France and in The Rocketeer! Well, oy oy to you!
Ele: Pardon?
Ortega: Oy oy! You know, Frenchy, over there it means yes!
Ele: I think you mean oui-
Ortega: Wee?
Ele: Oui-
Ortega (curtly): Don't correct me, I'm the DIRECTOR! The VISIONARY! The LORD of the PELVIC THRUSTS! The mastermind behind the utter genius in DIRTY DANCING! Through my God-like dance combinations, I brought the true passion between Baby and Johnny-
Ele: What is Dirty Dancing?
::Ortega clutches his hand to his heart::
Ortega (gasping, wheezing): Please, please tell me she did not just ask what Dirt Dancing was!
Woman: Yes, Kenny, she did.
Ortega (incredulous): To-to ask what Dirty Dancing is is like breaking one of the Ten Commandments!
Ele (befuddled): Pardon?
::Ortega swiftly rises and bangs a fist on the table, causing papers to scatter to the floor::
Ortega: I was the one that brought Baby out of that damn corner, me! Not that damn Swazye character-
Ele (through Ortega's ramblings): Sir, I know that I haven't been in that many films, but I am not really here to better my acting career.
Ortega (halting): What? Ele: Yes. You see, my therapist sent me here.
Ortega: Your THERAPIST?
::Ele approaches table::
Ele: Yes, she even gave me this note for you to read.
::Ortega regards her suspiciously as he takes the note from her, unfolding it and reading it, murmuring under his breath. As he reads further into it, his features become that of total disbelief. He looks up at Ele in total bewilderment.::
Ortega (not believing): You're a-
Ele (nodding): Nymphomaniac.
Ortega: A nymphomaniac.
::Ele nods.::
Ortega (glancing from letter to Ele): A nymphomaniac?
Ele: Uh-huh.
Ortega: Let me get this right. You're a nymphomaniac.
Ele: Yep.
Ortega: You like to have sex?
Ele (laughing): Oh, no. Not just sex. Lot's of sex.
Ortega: Sex?
Ele: Yep.
Ortega: With men?
Ele: Oh, with lots of men!
Ortega: How about women?
Ele (pondering): No, not with women-
::A smile slithers up Ortega's face as he reclines into the chair, resting his cross ankles on the table and placing his arms behind his head::
Ortega: As a matter of fact, God just sent me a vision! A vision for Sarah Jacobs! Sarah Jacobs the little hussy-
Ele: Oh, no, you don't understand! I'm a reformed nymphomaniac!
Ortega: A reformed nymphomaniac?
Ele: Yes. You see, my therapist and I are trying to cut down on my sexual cravings-
Ortega (audibly): CUT DOWN?
Ele: Uh-huh. You see, we've been working on it for a while. Staying abstinent, I mean. And it's a 12-step program. It's working. I, I mean don't get me wrong, there are sometimes when I just get these urges-
Ortega (with dropped jaw): Urges?
Ele: Yes, urges. And I just can't help them. But that still doesn't mean that I have sex. It just means that I am kept in this state of suspended heat-
Ortega: Suspended heat?
::Ele nods mournfully::
Ele: Yes. But anyway, I am almost free of my nymphomaniac ways!
Ortega: Free of them?
Ele (cheerfully): Yes! It's been almost a month since I've had sex and my therapist is so proud of me! You see, my agent saw that they were having auditions for this movie Newsies and contacted me. Well, I got a copy of the script and read it with my therapist and she said that it would be the perfect opportunity-
Ortega: Perfect opportunity?
Ele: Now you're starting to see it! This would be a set just crawling with boys and it could be my chance to prove that I was no longer a nymphomaniac by proving that I wouldn't have sex with any of them!
Ortega (drained of color): No sex?
Ele: Yes! And Mr. Ortega, as you can see, I really need this role. I need to prove to myself that I can control my sexual urges!
Ortega: But for fuck's sake, why would you want to control them?
Ele: How's that?
Ortega (murmuring to himself): Nothing never mind. All right! You need to read from the script!
::Ortega leaps out of his seats and bounds over to Ele, putting am arm around her shoulder. He is staring towards the heavens and waving his free arm dramatically in front of him.::
Ortega: The scene is the climax! Jack has returned to Sarah at the whorehouse-
Ele (disgusted): The whorehouse?
Ortega: Of course.
Ele: Well, that wasn't in the script!
Ortega: Well, my dear, I never did meet a nymphomaniac who could read well!
Ele (still unsure): Well, all right-
Ortega: Anyhow, he's come back to the whorehouse to pronounce his love to Sarah. You be Sarah and I'll be Jack.
Ele: All right-
::Ortega suddenly switches his grasp so his arms are around Ele, dipping her down::
Ortega (over dramatically): Oh, Sarah! Oh, Sarah! Oh, Sarah!
Ele: Mr. Ortega, this wasn't in the script.
Ortega: Then go off on a tangent. (Returning to character): Oh, Sarah, how I have missed your delicious-
::Ele rips herself from Ortega::
Ele: Mr. Ortega, that was definitely not in the script!
Ortega: It may not have been in the script, though God just sent me another revelation of inspiration this moment!
Ele (unsure): He did?
Ortega: Yes! He told me that Jack and Sarah are to make hot, sweaty love on the floor!
::Ortega rips open his shirt::
Ele: Mr. Ortegta, please stop trying to seduce me. I am a reformed nymphomaniac, didn't I tell you that?
Ortega (grumbling): But it was my revelation-
Ele: I know, Mr. Ortega, I know. But you don't want to get my sexual urges stiring up again do you?
::Ortega is silent::
Ele: I mean, what if you just veto the part about the hot, sweaty love making on the floor and keep with the original script. I mean, I could deal with kissing a Jack if he was very unattractive. Hey, maybe I could practice on you!
Ortega (quietly infuriated): No thanks, I'll pass.
::Ortega returns to his seat, holding his torn shirt together::
Ele: Well?
Ortega (harshly): Well what?
Ele: Do I have the job?
Ortega: I guess-
Ele (sqeualing): Oh, Mr. Ortega, thank you! You don't know how much you're helping me! One more step closer to curing my nymphomania!
Ortega (under breath): Why the hell would you want to cure it?
Ele: Oh, thank you Mr. Ortega, you will be a wonderful director! But I really gotta go because I have an appointment with my therapist-
Ortega: Oh, the therapist-
Ele (cheerfully): I'm sure Sarah and I will have so much in common! Oh, I should be going! Goodbye, Mr. Ortega!
::Ele exits room. All the others are staring at Ortega::
Ortega (snapping): WELL WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?
::Commotion soon fills the room::
Ortega: Where the hell is that Ann-Margret?
::Woman shrugs::
Ortega: Who's the next kid?
Woman: Christian Bale.
Ortega (under breath): Christian Bale-
::Ortega picks up Christian Bale's headshot. A devious smile crosses his face.::
Ortega: Hi, there, please state your name!
ELE KEATS: THE NYMPHOMANIAC
::Location: 1991 in an airy room on the bottom level of a building in the Universal Studios lot. Behind a fold out table sits Kenny Ortega and random others. Miscellaneous sheets of paper and 8 x 10 headshots adorn the tabletop::
Ortega (to random others at table): Okay, I know that these are OPEN auditions, but why the hell does someone like, what's her name?
Woman: Ann-Margret?
Ortega: Right, Ann-Margret have to come and completely deconstruct my whole beautiful vision. It sends absolute shudders down my spine to think-
::Ortega is interrupted as door opens. Ele Keats shuffles in wearing a very placid look and with her arms wrapped around her. She halts in front of Ortega. Ortega regards her incredulously as he stares at Ann-Margret's headshot::
Ortega (bewildered): Ann-Margret?
::Ele shakes her head::
Ele (cool, collected): No, my name is Ele Keats.
Ortega (ruffling through papers, trying to find headshot): Ele Keats? Ele Keats?
Ele: Yes, sir.
Ortega: Ele Keats? Ele Keats? (looks her over carefully, sneer adorning face) No, no, you are not part of my vision of else He would have informed me. No, I'm very sorry but you'll just have to go.
Ele: Please, sir-
Woman (to Ortega): Kenny, you DID say yourself that these were OPEN auditions.
::Ortgea leans back in chair listlessly::
Ortega (sighing loudly): Oh, fine, go ahead. Although I don't see what use it is since it's not part of my wonderful vision-But, go ahead, what the hell have you been in?
Ele: Well, I've been in The Rocketeer-
Ortega (loudly): Oh, The Rocketeer! Didn't that little ditty sweep the Oscars last year?
Ele: And I was born in France-
Ortega: Well doesn't that just make you the little wonder! Born in France and in The Rocketeer! Well, oy oy to you!
Ele: Pardon?
Ortega: Oy oy! You know, Frenchy, over there it means yes!
Ele: I think you mean oui-
Ortega: Wee?
Ele: Oui-
Ortega (curtly): Don't correct me, I'm the DIRECTOR! The VISIONARY! The LORD of the PELVIC THRUSTS! The mastermind behind the utter genius in DIRTY DANCING! Through my God-like dance combinations, I brought the true passion between Baby and Johnny-
Ele: What is Dirty Dancing?
::Ortega clutches his hand to his heart::
Ortega (gasping, wheezing): Please, please tell me she did not just ask what Dirt Dancing was!
Woman: Yes, Kenny, she did.
Ortega (incredulous): To-to ask what Dirty Dancing is is like breaking one of the Ten Commandments!
Ele (befuddled): Pardon?
::Ortega swiftly rises and bangs a fist on the table, causing papers to scatter to the floor::
Ortega: I was the one that brought Baby out of that damn corner, me! Not that damn Swazye character-
Ele (through Ortega's ramblings): Sir, I know that I haven't been in that many films, but I am not really here to better my acting career.
Ortega (halting): What? Ele: Yes. You see, my therapist sent me here.
Ortega: Your THERAPIST?
::Ele approaches table::
Ele: Yes, she even gave me this note for you to read.
::Ortega regards her suspiciously as he takes the note from her, unfolding it and reading it, murmuring under his breath. As he reads further into it, his features become that of total disbelief. He looks up at Ele in total bewilderment.::
Ortega (not believing): You're a-
Ele (nodding): Nymphomaniac.
Ortega: A nymphomaniac.
::Ele nods.::
Ortega (glancing from letter to Ele): A nymphomaniac?
Ele: Uh-huh.
Ortega: Let me get this right. You're a nymphomaniac.
Ele: Yep.
Ortega: You like to have sex?
Ele (laughing): Oh, no. Not just sex. Lot's of sex.
Ortega: Sex?
Ele: Yep.
Ortega: With men?
Ele: Oh, with lots of men!
Ortega: How about women?
Ele (pondering): No, not with women-
::A smile slithers up Ortega's face as he reclines into the chair, resting his cross ankles on the table and placing his arms behind his head::
Ortega: As a matter of fact, God just sent me a vision! A vision for Sarah Jacobs! Sarah Jacobs the little hussy-
Ele: Oh, no, you don't understand! I'm a reformed nymphomaniac!
Ortega: A reformed nymphomaniac?
Ele: Yes. You see, my therapist and I are trying to cut down on my sexual cravings-
Ortega (audibly): CUT DOWN?
Ele: Uh-huh. You see, we've been working on it for a while. Staying abstinent, I mean. And it's a 12-step program. It's working. I, I mean don't get me wrong, there are sometimes when I just get these urges-
Ortega (with dropped jaw): Urges?
Ele: Yes, urges. And I just can't help them. But that still doesn't mean that I have sex. It just means that I am kept in this state of suspended heat-
Ortega: Suspended heat?
::Ele nods mournfully::
Ele: Yes. But anyway, I am almost free of my nymphomaniac ways!
Ortega: Free of them?
Ele (cheerfully): Yes! It's been almost a month since I've had sex and my therapist is so proud of me! You see, my agent saw that they were having auditions for this movie Newsies and contacted me. Well, I got a copy of the script and read it with my therapist and she said that it would be the perfect opportunity-
Ortega: Perfect opportunity?
Ele: Now you're starting to see it! This would be a set just crawling with boys and it could be my chance to prove that I was no longer a nymphomaniac by proving that I wouldn't have sex with any of them!
Ortega (drained of color): No sex?
Ele: Yes! And Mr. Ortega, as you can see, I really need this role. I need to prove to myself that I can control my sexual urges!
Ortega: But for fuck's sake, why would you want to control them?
Ele: How's that?
Ortega (murmuring to himself): Nothing never mind. All right! You need to read from the script!
::Ortega leaps out of his seats and bounds over to Ele, putting am arm around her shoulder. He is staring towards the heavens and waving his free arm dramatically in front of him.::
Ortega: The scene is the climax! Jack has returned to Sarah at the whorehouse-
Ele (disgusted): The whorehouse?
Ortega: Of course.
Ele: Well, that wasn't in the script!
Ortega: Well, my dear, I never did meet a nymphomaniac who could read well!
Ele (still unsure): Well, all right-
Ortega: Anyhow, he's come back to the whorehouse to pronounce his love to Sarah. You be Sarah and I'll be Jack.
Ele: All right-
::Ortega suddenly switches his grasp so his arms are around Ele, dipping her down::
Ortega (over dramatically): Oh, Sarah! Oh, Sarah! Oh, Sarah!
Ele: Mr. Ortega, this wasn't in the script.
Ortega: Then go off on a tangent. (Returning to character): Oh, Sarah, how I have missed your delicious-
::Ele rips herself from Ortega::
Ele: Mr. Ortega, that was definitely not in the script!
Ortega: It may not have been in the script, though God just sent me another revelation of inspiration this moment!
Ele (unsure): He did?
Ortega: Yes! He told me that Jack and Sarah are to make hot, sweaty love on the floor!
::Ortega rips open his shirt::
Ele: Mr. Ortegta, please stop trying to seduce me. I am a reformed nymphomaniac, didn't I tell you that?
Ortega (grumbling): But it was my revelation-
Ele: I know, Mr. Ortega, I know. But you don't want to get my sexual urges stiring up again do you?
::Ortega is silent::
Ele: I mean, what if you just veto the part about the hot, sweaty love making on the floor and keep with the original script. I mean, I could deal with kissing a Jack if he was very unattractive. Hey, maybe I could practice on you!
Ortega (quietly infuriated): No thanks, I'll pass.
::Ortega returns to his seat, holding his torn shirt together::
Ele: Well?
Ortega (harshly): Well what?
Ele: Do I have the job?
Ortega: I guess-
Ele (sqeualing): Oh, Mr. Ortega, thank you! You don't know how much you're helping me! One more step closer to curing my nymphomania!
Ortega (under breath): Why the hell would you want to cure it?
Ele: Oh, thank you Mr. Ortega, you will be a wonderful director! But I really gotta go because I have an appointment with my therapist-
Ortega: Oh, the therapist-
Ele (cheerfully): I'm sure Sarah and I will have so much in common! Oh, I should be going! Goodbye, Mr. Ortega!
::Ele exits room. All the others are staring at Ortega::
Ortega (snapping): WELL WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?
::Commotion soon fills the room::
Ortega: Where the hell is that Ann-Margret?
::Woman shrugs::
Ortega: Who's the next kid?
Woman: Christian Bale.
Ortega (under breath): Christian Bale-
::Ortega picks up Christian Bale's headshot. A devious smile crosses his face.::
Ortega: Hi, there, please state your name!