***WARNING!!! THIS CHAPTER IS RATED PG!!! ONE BAD WORD USED MULTIPLE TIMES!!!***


Finding My Light

Chapter 5: Aerith's Depression


Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts; it belongs to Disney and Squaresoft. Also, I don't own the song "I'm With You" as it belongs to Avril Lavigne.


A/N: Hey! I'm still here, believe it or not! I have not given up on this fic, and don't plan to! Anyways, this is going to be a long (well, in my opinion long) author's note, so just bear with me!


1st: READ THIS!!! Ok, I've changed a word in Avril Lavigne's song to make it fit the story, so if you notice the change, please be understanding! I'm just putting this in because I know if I don't, I will get flamed! Also, I didn't use the whole song! So flamers, you have been warned!


2nd: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, AND THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! When I came home and saw all of the reviews I got on the last chapter, I literally skipped down the upstairs hall that overlooks our family room (it's a two-story family room) yelling down to my cat every second or so how many reviews I had received on that chapter alone! You will never know how happy I was! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, AND THANK YOU!!!!!!!


3rd: I'm sorry about chapters being slow, but I've been kind of busy and tired lately! So please excuse me for taking so long to update, but I'll try harder from now on! Honest!!!


Well, in the immortal words of Porky Pig, "That's all, folks!" On with the story!


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Aerith stared dispiritedly at the bright full moon high in the sky, eyes brimming with tears that she refused to let fall. "Where are you Cloud?" she whispered desperately.


I'm standing on the bridge

I'm waiting in the dark

I thought that you'd be here by now

There's nothing but the rain

No footsteps on the ground

I'm listening but there's no sound


Aerith pulled her coat around her tighter before running on further toward the Second District. Her stick was by her side to defend her, and her eyes were continued to fill with the tears that refused to let descend onto her cheeks. She had to be alone. Leon would only sigh exasperatedly, hiding his own depression and worry if she talked to him, and Yuffie—well, she would only whisper to Leon questions and suggestions, receiving only shrugs and a mere nod or shake of the head in return. No. She had seen this come about many times before, and she just needed to get away.


While Aerith had been lost in her sadness, her feet had instinctively carried her to the Gizmo Shop. She looked back to see if she had left any trace of her route, but the cold, emotionless cement left no sign of any muddy footprints. None could have her leave anyway, Aerith reminded herself silently, because the rain had muffled the sound of her feet pounding the pavement.


She tread lightly through the abandoned building to the ladder, pulling herself up rung by rung, and taking great care not to drop her stick.


At the top, she waited expectantly for a group of Heartless to appear, but when none did she had to remind herself that Sora did seal the Keyhole, causing the Heartless to flee for a short time. She pushed the tears back a little easier as she remembered…


*FLASHBACK*


Cid, Aerith, Yuffie, and Leon each held their breath as they heard the Gizmo Shop bell ring for a third time in a row. All of them sighed when nothing happened, but, in their hearts, none gave up hope…


Later, Sora returned and told of how the Keyhole had successfully been sealed. Aerith was positive at that moment that Sora would save all of them; he would restore all of the worlds and lead her own dear Cloud back to her for all of eternity.


*END FLASHBACK*


Aerith smiled as she remembered how deeply she had been filled with hope and security. For days after that her conversations consisted only of Sora's success, Hallow Bastion, and Cloud. Her smile grew wider as she recalled this, and the tears receded.


Then her thoughts shifted over to Leon and Yuffie, and her smile faded. As Aerith recalled the overheard conversation between the two, the tears came back from their hidden deaths, poised to fall at any small sign of weakness.


*FLASHBACK*


"I'm worried about Aerith, Squall," Yuffie said, sitting herself in the chair across from him at the table. Aerith hovered at the door, feeling slightly guilty for eavesdropping.


"It's Leon," was the only response Yuffie received. She frowned.


"I'm serious! You know she so excited because of how well Sora's doing, but I'm scared that, well, she might get…disappointed because…well…er…you know…"


"Because Cloud is probably dead," Leon offered emotionlessly, his eyes closed. Yuffie (and Aerith from outside) stared at him.


"We have to face facts Yuffie," Leon continued, opening his eyes, which showed the only a possible hint of emotion. "All who survive the destruction of their world either come here or perish. We've searched all of Traverse Town for him countless times, and he's not here."


Leon looked up at Yuffie, revealing his sad, somber eyes, "Cloud's dead Yuffie. We have to face the facts." He switched his gaze over to the cup in his hand, "And soon, Aerith will too."


Those words echoed through Aerith's mind as she raced away from the house.


*END FLASHBACK*


Aerith gazed out at the fountain where Sora had said the Keyhole was, shivering in the intense cold. As she finally allowed to the tears to fall, she looked up and whispered to the heavens once again, "Where are you Cloud?"


Isn't anyone trying to find me

Won't somebody come take me home

It's a damn cold night

I'm trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know where you are

But I, I'm with you


Aerith quickly stepped away from the edge and prepared to fight as she heard voices approaching. There wasn't anyone nearby though; did somebody realize she had gone?


I'm looking for a place

Searching for a face

Is anybody here I know

Cause nothing's going right

And everything's a mess

And no one likes to be alone


What if the voices were Leon and Yuffie? Aerith hesitated. She wanted to be alone, but she didn't want to worry Leon or Yuffie. 'If only Cloud were here…' she thought, and then, 'Where are you Cloud? What about your promise to me?'


Isn't anyone trying to fine me

Won't somebody come take me home

It's a damn cold night

I'm trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know where you are

But I, I'm with you


Yuffie bit her lip as she ran up to Leon, "I'm getting really worried Squall! I can't find her anywhere!"


Leon sighed exasperatedly, "It's Leon." Yuffie stared at him incredulity, her eyes hardening.


"You damn idiot! We're out here searching for one our best friends, and all you can think about is how I called you Squall and not Leon?! I can't believe you!"


Leon began to become angry at this, "Hey! You're the one being the damn idiot! We'll never find Aerith if we're so worried we can't think! Don't be yelling at me Yuffie Kisaragi!"


To Leon's amazement, the fire of rage left Yuffie's eyes and was replaced by a look of deep sadness, "I know. It's just…" Yuffie sighed and turned her face down, tears gathering in her eyes, "It's just that it's all my fault she ran off. If I hadn't brought up the probability of Cloud being dead, none of this would have happened…"


Leon, to Yuffie's amazement grabbed Yuffie by her shoulders and gave her a small shake to get her attention. When she had turned her bewildered eyes up to meet his, he said almost tenderly, "Yuffie, you can't blame yourself. It's not your fault. We all knew that chance, even Aerith. But she refused to give up hope or blame herself, and you can't either."


"It's just so hard sometimes," Yuffie said, a few fat tears winding down her cheek, "I try to keep up hope, but it's so hard when there's nothing I can do to help fight—"


"That's right," Leon said, in the same tone. "There's nothing you can do physically, but you can keep up hope and wish. Look!" he said, suddenly pointing to a shooting star up in the sky, "Make a wish!"


Yuffie closed her eyes, and made a silent wish for everything to go back to the way it was before the Heartless. Leon smiled at her while she made her wish before turning his eyes back up to the star, silently wishing the same thing. He turned his gaze back to her, and Yuffie smiled back at him. "What'd you wish for?" he asked, even though he already knew.


Yuffie's grin became more mischievous "Well, I could tell you…but then I'd have to kill you so that it would come true!" she said, disrupting the tender moment between the two. Leon just rolled his eyes, smiling to himself and happy because she had returned, more or less, back to normal.


"So," he said, returning to his usual emotionless tone of voice, "Where is Aerith's favorite place?"


Yuffie thought a moment and smiled eagerly when she remembered, "Up by the Gizmo Shop! By the bell!"


*** MEANWHILE ***


Aerith returned her probing gaze up to the sky and watched as she saw a shooting star flash by. Deciding that it wouldn't hurt, she made a wish, a wish for everything to go back to the way it was, for her to be able to see her Cloud again. Suddenly, she felt a warm, tender glow deep in her heart. Putting both hands to her heart, Aerith whispered, "What? What's this?" She shifted her gaze back up to the stars, "Is Cloud alive? Can I feel him here, in my heart?" She remembered how Sora had mentioned, without detail, how he had felt Kairi's presence in him; Sora had even said that he had seen Kairi a few times! Aerith smiled to herself; indeed, she wouldn't ever give up hope. Cloud had never failed in a promise to her ever, and his last promise to her still ringed in her ears: "Remember Aerith! No matter where you end up, I will find you!" 'And I will wait patiently for you Cloud Strife,' she vowed silently.


Suddenly, she heard a voices coming up the ladder, voices belonging to Leon and Yuffie! Aerith watched as Yuffie jumped off the ladder and ran over to give her a hug.


"Aerith! I'm so sorry! I didn't know that you were there, and, and, and what would I do if I didn't have you to talk to! I'd go insane if it was just me and Squall!"


Leon grunted irately, "It's Leon! Get it right for once, will you?" Yuffie just stuck her tongue out at him.


"Er, I'm really sorry you guys," Aerith said downcast, "but I just needed to be alone to think and all…"


"It's ok," Yuffie replied, "and Leon and I are really sorry about the whole Cloud thing. Can you forgive us?"


"I don't need to," Aerith said with a small, secretive smile.


"Why?" both Yuffie and Leon asked.


"Oh," Aerith said with that same smile, "just because I know you're wrong. Cloud's alive; I can feel it!" She put her hand to her heart and looked up at the stars.


Leon and Yuffie looked at Aerith and then at each other with wondering eyes, but just shrugged and viewed the beautiful stars of the serene night as well.


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A/N: Ok, I hope everyone was ok about this chapter because I have a feeling that if any chapter gets a lot of flames, it'll be this one! I don't really know why I think that; I'm just a psycho!


I hope that was a pretty good start for some Leon/Yuffie! I just didn't want them to run into each other's arms or something because that would make them very out of character! And I have a feeling that at least one of the characters was out of character anyways!


Thanks to all of my reviewers:


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Thanks and everyone PLEASE REVIEW!!! PRETTY, PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE!!!