Disclaimer: Mine? Psh. I wish. They belong to Ms. JKR. And don't bother
trying to sue. I'm an unemployed high school student who gets her kicks
talking 'bout gay men.
A/N: To all of you who reviewed, I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU! I cannot express to you how happy I am that this is getting such great responses. I must say I feel the end of this chapter is a little weak, but I hope that the rest of it makes up for it.
To Essa: You are amazing kid! You're such a tremendous help and such a great person to know! EVERYONE READ HER STUFF! I COMMAND YOU! Just kidding about the commanding thing, but seriously? She's awesome. Don't pass on her stuff. To Josh: You're just like a brother to me! Oh wait...you are...My bad. Mmmm...Harry Potter man love. I know you love it kid!.. "Wait...what if they went commando?" Hopefully there'll be some naked man butt later...but not right now!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I walked back to the Gryffindor commons in a daze. The events of the last few hours kept replaying in my mind. How had it happened? When had things changed? I had known for a while that I was gay, but I'd never acted on it. How had I made my first homosexual experience with Malfoy? I gave my password to the Fat Lady ("bubbling nitwit") and entered the commons.
"Oi! Harry! Are you all right? You look bloody awful!" Ron's voice called from in front of the fireplace.
"Ron! Honestly! You could be a little more....Merlin Harry!" Hermione said sucking in her breath. "You really do look awful. What happened?"
"Thank you both ever so much for that tremendous confidence boost. Now, if you don't mind, I am apparently in dire need of some beauty sleep. Good night to you both." My patience was on end and my nerves were shot. I was livid to begin with and I didn't need their incessant nagging.
"Harry, wait. I'm sorry, it just looks like someone really ripped into you. You know, really gave you a piece of their mind. And, I mean, you did just spend the past 3 hours with Malfoy, ALONE, in the trophy room." Hermione said with concern oozing from her voice.
"You can say that again..." I tried, unsuccessfully, to say under my breath.
"WHAT?!?!" Ron shouted, his face turning as red as his hair. "I'll kill 'em, Harry! Really, I will. Stupid fucking Malfoy. I'll rip off his testicles if he so much as-"
"RON! Just let it go okay? You wouldn't understand." I was not in the mood to talk about it. I hated fighting with Ron, and I knew I couldn't make him see. I was fighting a losing battle and I just wanted to forget everything that had just happened.
"What wouldn't I understand, Harry?" Ron said bitterly. " I can't bloody understand that Malfoy is a stupid pain in the arse? That he should get a good quick kick in the balls because he's such a bloody git?
"It's not like that, okay? Malfoy didn't do anything wrong." My voice was quiet. I couldn't give up now. Ron wasn't about to die down and from the looks of it, Hermione was on edge as well. "Just let it go."
"C'mon! You mean to tell me Malfoy said nothing to you. He didn't even acknowledge your presence for the WHOLE detention? But, still, there's something I wouldn't understand? It's bullshit, Harry. Tell me what happened." Hermione's voice was tense and she had a firm grip on my arm. "Don't tell me that Malfoy ignored you when you're acting like this."
"I never said that. You're putting words in my mouth." I said pulling away. "Would you just lay off? Did you ever think that there's more to Malfoy than meets the eye?
Ron and Hermione looked at each other quizzically. Why couldn't they just let it go? Why wasn't Hermione telling Ron to back off? Where was Hermione's smart ways when you needed them?
"What are you playing at? Have you gone completely nutters?" Ron said, the bewilderment thick in his voice.
It was now or never and I knew it. They were my friends and they had a right to know. It WAS Malfoy. The only question was, could I make them understand?
"You guys don't know him." I started.
"And you do?" Ron said incredulously. "You really have gone mad!"
"WOULD YOU LISTEN?" I yelled. "Malfoy's been through a lot. I don't expect you to accept it, but Malfoy kissed me and I liked it."
"WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" Ron screamed, his voice echoing off of the walls. " HARRY, WHAT IN BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING? HE'S MALFOY FOR MERLIN'S SAKE! YOU KNOW HE WAS PROBABLY AT OWLERY RIGHT NOW WRITING HIS FATHER?" Ron's voice changed into a mock Malfoy voice. "Daddy Dearest, I'm getting closer and closer to having Potter right where I want him. Hope to see you soon. And Daddy? Next time we're together can we shag like last time? It really was amazing-"
"FUCK OFF, RON! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING SAYING!" I screamed matching his level perfectly. People were staring, but I didn't care. Ron was out of line and I wasn't about to let him get away with it.
"No, Harry. You fuck off." Ron said. His voice cracked with emotion. "After everything that asshole has done to you? After everything he's done to me and Hermione? How the fuck could you stick up for him? I thought we were friends. I thought we were on the same side. I guess I was sadly mistaken." Ron shook his head and walked off.
"Goddammnit!" I yelled. "Can you believe that Hermione? He didn't even wait for the story! He just fucking went off on me-" I looked up and saw Hermione for the first time. Tears were flowing down her cheeks and I could see the pain in her eyes.
"You know Harry, for once, Ron is right. I know you have a reason. I know you aren't completely naive, but this is Malfoy. In time, I might be able to listen to the story and hear you out. But I'll never be able to forgive you Harry. Never..." Hermione's voice was quiet as she spoke. When she was done, she carefully wiped her eyes and walked away.
"Hermione! Wait!" I called. Seeing her cry was too much. I didn't care how mad Ron was, but Hermione's tears made the whole situation worse. I felt awful. Why should I feel guilty for something beyond my control? Why hadn't I seen how I had betrayed them? Something snapped inside my head. Why should I feel guilty? They didn't hear me out and as far as I was concerned, it was none of their business.
My mind was flooded with thoughts; Ron's yelling, Hermione's tears, Malfoy's kisses. I couldn't even think of sleep. I needed someone to listen. Somone who wasn't as biased. I needed to write to Sirius. He would understand.
I went to the owlery as quickly as I could. I wrote the whole story in my letter. Everything from how I wound up in detention to the Hermione's last words. Sirius would understand. He had too. He was my last hope. With a nip on my finger, Hedwig was off into the night. All I could do now was wait.
The few days following were tense. Ron wouldn't look at me and Hermione always had a sad, watery look when we made eye contact. I hadn't been sleeping or eating well, and every time the owl post came, I anxiously looked for Hedwig.
I didn't get Sirius's reply until this morning. Exactly seven days after detention with Malfoy. I was ecstatic when I saw her swooping in. Finally, someone to talk too. Finally, someone to understand. I opened the parchment immediately, only to be disappointed by what I read.
Harry- What in Merlin's name were you thinking? You do realize that Malfoy's family is right in there with Voldermort? I don't care how much he tells you that you can trust him. It's all lies. It's all the Malfoy family is good at, besides kissing the Dark Lord's ass. I feel that Ron and Hermione have every right to be mad. I'm mad as well. Harry, you have to look out for yourself, and if you're gallivanting around with Malfoy, you'll being doing yourself a huge disservice. Harry, I want you to promise me by return owl that you are done with Malfoy. Leave anything that happened between the two of you alone. You're life isn't worth it. -Best Regards, Sirius
Anger flowed through my veins as I reread the story. I can't believe that Sirius, of all people, won't understand. He's my family. My ONLY family. Family should accept you no matter what. Shouldn't they?
So, there I was sitting here on my bed, completely alone. I have no one to talk to. My friends hate me. My only family refuses to let me be and it's all because of one decision seven days ago.
In the distance, a small figure began to form. At first, I thought I was imagining it, but sure enough it was. It was Malfoy's eagle flying straight toward my window. When he arrived I took the piece of parchment and read it immediately.
Harry- I know I said some stupid things the other night. I was wrong. Please understand the predicament I found myself in. My father will never accept this and I know it. You have to know that I've never found myself attracted to men before and it took my complete surprise that it was you that I wanted to badly. I understand that you hate me and that I said some awful things, but I have no one to talk to Potter. No one will understand. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I need you, Harry. I need you to understand. -Draco
I don't think my heart has ever beaten as fast as it is right now. I pulled out a piece of parchment.
Draco- I understand you exactly. I need you too. -Harry ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 2: Done! I've officially had the taste of reviews and I like it. I'm not ashamed. So please, feed my ego. Love it or hate it? REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!! *insert puppy dog eyes* Pretty please? I'll give you a piece of Harry Potter ice cream cake...well...maybe....(
A/N: To all of you who reviewed, I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU! I cannot express to you how happy I am that this is getting such great responses. I must say I feel the end of this chapter is a little weak, but I hope that the rest of it makes up for it.
To Essa: You are amazing kid! You're such a tremendous help and such a great person to know! EVERYONE READ HER STUFF! I COMMAND YOU! Just kidding about the commanding thing, but seriously? She's awesome. Don't pass on her stuff. To Josh: You're just like a brother to me! Oh wait...you are...My bad. Mmmm...Harry Potter man love. I know you love it kid!.. "Wait...what if they went commando?" Hopefully there'll be some naked man butt later...but not right now!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I walked back to the Gryffindor commons in a daze. The events of the last few hours kept replaying in my mind. How had it happened? When had things changed? I had known for a while that I was gay, but I'd never acted on it. How had I made my first homosexual experience with Malfoy? I gave my password to the Fat Lady ("bubbling nitwit") and entered the commons.
"Oi! Harry! Are you all right? You look bloody awful!" Ron's voice called from in front of the fireplace.
"Ron! Honestly! You could be a little more....Merlin Harry!" Hermione said sucking in her breath. "You really do look awful. What happened?"
"Thank you both ever so much for that tremendous confidence boost. Now, if you don't mind, I am apparently in dire need of some beauty sleep. Good night to you both." My patience was on end and my nerves were shot. I was livid to begin with and I didn't need their incessant nagging.
"Harry, wait. I'm sorry, it just looks like someone really ripped into you. You know, really gave you a piece of their mind. And, I mean, you did just spend the past 3 hours with Malfoy, ALONE, in the trophy room." Hermione said with concern oozing from her voice.
"You can say that again..." I tried, unsuccessfully, to say under my breath.
"WHAT?!?!" Ron shouted, his face turning as red as his hair. "I'll kill 'em, Harry! Really, I will. Stupid fucking Malfoy. I'll rip off his testicles if he so much as-"
"RON! Just let it go okay? You wouldn't understand." I was not in the mood to talk about it. I hated fighting with Ron, and I knew I couldn't make him see. I was fighting a losing battle and I just wanted to forget everything that had just happened.
"What wouldn't I understand, Harry?" Ron said bitterly. " I can't bloody understand that Malfoy is a stupid pain in the arse? That he should get a good quick kick in the balls because he's such a bloody git?
"It's not like that, okay? Malfoy didn't do anything wrong." My voice was quiet. I couldn't give up now. Ron wasn't about to die down and from the looks of it, Hermione was on edge as well. "Just let it go."
"C'mon! You mean to tell me Malfoy said nothing to you. He didn't even acknowledge your presence for the WHOLE detention? But, still, there's something I wouldn't understand? It's bullshit, Harry. Tell me what happened." Hermione's voice was tense and she had a firm grip on my arm. "Don't tell me that Malfoy ignored you when you're acting like this."
"I never said that. You're putting words in my mouth." I said pulling away. "Would you just lay off? Did you ever think that there's more to Malfoy than meets the eye?
Ron and Hermione looked at each other quizzically. Why couldn't they just let it go? Why wasn't Hermione telling Ron to back off? Where was Hermione's smart ways when you needed them?
"What are you playing at? Have you gone completely nutters?" Ron said, the bewilderment thick in his voice.
It was now or never and I knew it. They were my friends and they had a right to know. It WAS Malfoy. The only question was, could I make them understand?
"You guys don't know him." I started.
"And you do?" Ron said incredulously. "You really have gone mad!"
"WOULD YOU LISTEN?" I yelled. "Malfoy's been through a lot. I don't expect you to accept it, but Malfoy kissed me and I liked it."
"WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" Ron screamed, his voice echoing off of the walls. " HARRY, WHAT IN BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING? HE'S MALFOY FOR MERLIN'S SAKE! YOU KNOW HE WAS PROBABLY AT OWLERY RIGHT NOW WRITING HIS FATHER?" Ron's voice changed into a mock Malfoy voice. "Daddy Dearest, I'm getting closer and closer to having Potter right where I want him. Hope to see you soon. And Daddy? Next time we're together can we shag like last time? It really was amazing-"
"FUCK OFF, RON! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING SAYING!" I screamed matching his level perfectly. People were staring, but I didn't care. Ron was out of line and I wasn't about to let him get away with it.
"No, Harry. You fuck off." Ron said. His voice cracked with emotion. "After everything that asshole has done to you? After everything he's done to me and Hermione? How the fuck could you stick up for him? I thought we were friends. I thought we were on the same side. I guess I was sadly mistaken." Ron shook his head and walked off.
"Goddammnit!" I yelled. "Can you believe that Hermione? He didn't even wait for the story! He just fucking went off on me-" I looked up and saw Hermione for the first time. Tears were flowing down her cheeks and I could see the pain in her eyes.
"You know Harry, for once, Ron is right. I know you have a reason. I know you aren't completely naive, but this is Malfoy. In time, I might be able to listen to the story and hear you out. But I'll never be able to forgive you Harry. Never..." Hermione's voice was quiet as she spoke. When she was done, she carefully wiped her eyes and walked away.
"Hermione! Wait!" I called. Seeing her cry was too much. I didn't care how mad Ron was, but Hermione's tears made the whole situation worse. I felt awful. Why should I feel guilty for something beyond my control? Why hadn't I seen how I had betrayed them? Something snapped inside my head. Why should I feel guilty? They didn't hear me out and as far as I was concerned, it was none of their business.
My mind was flooded with thoughts; Ron's yelling, Hermione's tears, Malfoy's kisses. I couldn't even think of sleep. I needed someone to listen. Somone who wasn't as biased. I needed to write to Sirius. He would understand.
I went to the owlery as quickly as I could. I wrote the whole story in my letter. Everything from how I wound up in detention to the Hermione's last words. Sirius would understand. He had too. He was my last hope. With a nip on my finger, Hedwig was off into the night. All I could do now was wait.
The few days following were tense. Ron wouldn't look at me and Hermione always had a sad, watery look when we made eye contact. I hadn't been sleeping or eating well, and every time the owl post came, I anxiously looked for Hedwig.
I didn't get Sirius's reply until this morning. Exactly seven days after detention with Malfoy. I was ecstatic when I saw her swooping in. Finally, someone to talk too. Finally, someone to understand. I opened the parchment immediately, only to be disappointed by what I read.
Harry- What in Merlin's name were you thinking? You do realize that Malfoy's family is right in there with Voldermort? I don't care how much he tells you that you can trust him. It's all lies. It's all the Malfoy family is good at, besides kissing the Dark Lord's ass. I feel that Ron and Hermione have every right to be mad. I'm mad as well. Harry, you have to look out for yourself, and if you're gallivanting around with Malfoy, you'll being doing yourself a huge disservice. Harry, I want you to promise me by return owl that you are done with Malfoy. Leave anything that happened between the two of you alone. You're life isn't worth it. -Best Regards, Sirius
Anger flowed through my veins as I reread the story. I can't believe that Sirius, of all people, won't understand. He's my family. My ONLY family. Family should accept you no matter what. Shouldn't they?
So, there I was sitting here on my bed, completely alone. I have no one to talk to. My friends hate me. My only family refuses to let me be and it's all because of one decision seven days ago.
In the distance, a small figure began to form. At first, I thought I was imagining it, but sure enough it was. It was Malfoy's eagle flying straight toward my window. When he arrived I took the piece of parchment and read it immediately.
Harry- I know I said some stupid things the other night. I was wrong. Please understand the predicament I found myself in. My father will never accept this and I know it. You have to know that I've never found myself attracted to men before and it took my complete surprise that it was you that I wanted to badly. I understand that you hate me and that I said some awful things, but I have no one to talk to Potter. No one will understand. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I need you, Harry. I need you to understand. -Draco
I don't think my heart has ever beaten as fast as it is right now. I pulled out a piece of parchment.
Draco- I understand you exactly. I need you too. -Harry ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 2: Done! I've officially had the taste of reviews and I like it. I'm not ashamed. So please, feed my ego. Love it or hate it? REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!! *insert puppy dog eyes* Pretty please? I'll give you a piece of Harry Potter ice cream cake...well...maybe....(