Disclaimer: Mine? Psh. I wish. They belong to Ms. JKR. And don't bother
trying to sue. I'm an unemployed high school student who gets her kicks
talking 'bout gay men.
A/N: Guess who's back? Back again? Ash is back! Tell your friends! ....Ok that was my bad attempt at being Eminem, but ya know. Really sorry this took so long. I just wasn't sure how to get where I wanted to be. I know how I want this to go, it's just getting there is taking longer than I thought. Maybe it's because I didn't have as much motivation this time. (*hint hint* I didn't get as many reviews ~hint hint~) Anyway I want to send another million and a half praises to Essa! In case you guys haven't noticed, she still rocks. And to Bridgette. Girl, you fo' real, man! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
Twenty-seven minutes. That's how long I'd been waiting for him. Unless you count the seven days before I got his note. Then I'd been waiting for 10,080 minutes. Not that I'd been counting. Leave it to Draco to make me wait more, especially in an old drafty Astronomy Tower.
"Sorry." He said breathlessly. "Sometimes it's hard to tell when Crabbe is really out. He talks in his sleep. A LOT."
"How did you know he was really asleep then?" I asked knowing full and well that if Crabbe found out where Malfoy was, this whole situation would be over before it started. He may act tough but Draco was really chicken shit."
"He started making sense." Draco said with a laugh, his eyes twinkling lightly.
An awkward silence passed before either of us spoke. I was quiet, in fear of my words scaring off Draco. He was quiet out of sheer terror.
"Harry, I'm really sorry about the way I behaved the other night. I was terrified. I'm still trying to accept that I really do like you. That it wasn't just a fluke. I really care about you Harry. I realized that and that's why I wrote you. I couldn't walk around without you knowing. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you wrote back."
My heart was leaping in my chest. I just knew he could see it. For some reason though, it didn't matter. Somehow I knew he felt the same way. Just as awkward, nervous, and scared as I was.
"I really like you too, Malfoy." I said, finally finding my courage.
"Don't say that." He retorted sharply.
"I'm sorry...Draco." I corrected myself. I suppose if something was going to happen between us, it would be best if I could call him by his first name.
"Not my name. Well, yes my name, but that's not what I meant." Draco said with half a smile.
"Then, what did you mean?" I asked quizzically. He was more confusing than I thought for.
"I meant don't say that you really like me." He said quietly. "B-but I-I do, Draco. Really. Don't be thick. If I didn't I wouldn't be here." I said bewildered. I tried to take his hand but he pulled away.
"You don't even know me." He said crossing the room to stand by the window. He crossed his arms in front of his chest trying to completely shut himself off from me.
"You don't know me either. That's what relationships are for. We'll get to know each other more. Soon we'll know everything." I was trying to keep it light. Draco was shutting down and I knew that if I said one wrong thing, I would lose him completely.
"Sure I do." Draco said with bitterness in his voice. "Why, you're Harry Potter. You're the Boy Who Lived."
"That's not the real me !" I shouted my anger getting the best of me. "I told you not to pretend to know me! Don't assume like everyone else."
"I know more about you and you're life than you do Harry. I know things that would make your hair curl. I know all about your past and all about your life here. All you know about me is what came out the other night. You tell me who's pretending to know whom here, Harry." Draco's lips had formed a tight line and his eyes were dark with anger.
"And the other night we learned we had the same life. I know about you Draco and I don't care. Why does this have to be so difficult? Why can't you just let what happens happen?" I was screaming now and the tears were back in my eyes. I couldn't help it anymore. My week had been bad enough. Now the one person that I thought understood me was pulling away. I didn't need this. Not now.
" It doesn't have to be any way, Harry. It just is this way because of our pasts. We can't change it. I thought coming here tonight would put my mind at ease. I don't even know what I want anymore."
"Bullshit!" I wanted to yell at him "you want me! You know you do!" but I couldn't find the courage to do it. I wanted to yell at him that I understood more than he knew but I couldn't make the words come out. It was all beginning to be to much.
"It's not! I have no idea what I've gotten myself into. I really have no idea what I want." Malfoy said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself, rather than me.
" Then why are you here?"
"Potter, you have to understand-"
"Quit calling me that. If I have to call you Draco then you can call me harry. Quit saying Potter like I'm less than you. By the way you're acting tonight, I know I'm a better man than you could even think of being."
"Fine then. Maybe you are better than I am. But I still came here didn't I? I could've stood you up, but I didn't. I'm just trying to figure things out Harry. That's all I'm trying to do here. Do you understand what I'm risking? Do you have any idea?" Malfoy's voice quivered slightly and he tried to cover it by clearing his throat.
"I'm taking a risk here, too. I'm going against everything I believe in. I'm going against my friends. I'm going against my family. But I'm still here, I'm willing to take this risk. I'm not a coward. I go for what I think is right." I said, through clenched teeth.
"Ever the Gryffindor, I see. I know you're taking risks here too, Harry, but they aren't like mine. Do you have any idea what they'll do to me if they find out? I opened up to you. I kissed you. For Merlin's sake, Harry. I jerked off thinking about you. If they ever find out, I'm dead. I've ruined the Malfoy name. I've gone against everything that my father has ever told me. I can never be a DeathEater. NEVER."
"Do you want to be?"
"That's irrelevant. The thing is, I have decisions to make. I have things to think about. I really thought this would be easier. But it's not. I was sure of what I wanted and then I came here tonight and second guessed everything." Malfoy said with his eyes on he ground.
"Irrelevant as it might be, I think I have a right to know." I said. My heart fell 5 feet to the floor as Malfoy spoke. I didn't want to think about him being a DeathEater, but apparently I was going to have to.
"I don't have a choice. They'll kill me if I don't join them." His voice was soft; I had to strain to hear it.
"You do-" I started but I was cut off by a tapping on the window. A handsome eagle was perched on the ledge. "Wha-why is there an owl in the Astronomy Tower?"
I turned to look at Malfoy and noticed he was ghostly white. His eyes were the size of plates and filled with tears. He looked as though he was going to be sick.
"Draco? What is it? Are you-"
"He knows." He said quietly. " He knows, Harry. That's it. It' s over."
"What are you talking about Draco?" I was confused. Why had Draco gone all sixes-and-sevens on me?
"The owl. He'll go back to father and then he'll know. He'll tell the Dark Lord. Oh gods! What have I done? I have to go! I have no choice." Draco babbled quickly.
"Draco! You aren't making a bit of sense. Could you please make a coherent statement.?" I was starting to panic, but nothing could prepare me for what came next.
"The owl. It's my father's." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ * ALRIGHT! Finally done with Chapter 3! Chapter 4 will be a breeze now that I finally have my set up. Please, please, please review guys. I'll give you a big virtual hug. And if you read it and don't respond and I find out? I'll be medieval on your virtual ass! Thanks a ton guys!~Ash
A/N: Guess who's back? Back again? Ash is back! Tell your friends! ....Ok that was my bad attempt at being Eminem, but ya know. Really sorry this took so long. I just wasn't sure how to get where I wanted to be. I know how I want this to go, it's just getting there is taking longer than I thought. Maybe it's because I didn't have as much motivation this time. (*hint hint* I didn't get as many reviews ~hint hint~) Anyway I want to send another million and a half praises to Essa! In case you guys haven't noticed, she still rocks. And to Bridgette. Girl, you fo' real, man! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
Twenty-seven minutes. That's how long I'd been waiting for him. Unless you count the seven days before I got his note. Then I'd been waiting for 10,080 minutes. Not that I'd been counting. Leave it to Draco to make me wait more, especially in an old drafty Astronomy Tower.
"Sorry." He said breathlessly. "Sometimes it's hard to tell when Crabbe is really out. He talks in his sleep. A LOT."
"How did you know he was really asleep then?" I asked knowing full and well that if Crabbe found out where Malfoy was, this whole situation would be over before it started. He may act tough but Draco was really chicken shit."
"He started making sense." Draco said with a laugh, his eyes twinkling lightly.
An awkward silence passed before either of us spoke. I was quiet, in fear of my words scaring off Draco. He was quiet out of sheer terror.
"Harry, I'm really sorry about the way I behaved the other night. I was terrified. I'm still trying to accept that I really do like you. That it wasn't just a fluke. I really care about you Harry. I realized that and that's why I wrote you. I couldn't walk around without you knowing. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you wrote back."
My heart was leaping in my chest. I just knew he could see it. For some reason though, it didn't matter. Somehow I knew he felt the same way. Just as awkward, nervous, and scared as I was.
"I really like you too, Malfoy." I said, finally finding my courage.
"Don't say that." He retorted sharply.
"I'm sorry...Draco." I corrected myself. I suppose if something was going to happen between us, it would be best if I could call him by his first name.
"Not my name. Well, yes my name, but that's not what I meant." Draco said with half a smile.
"Then, what did you mean?" I asked quizzically. He was more confusing than I thought for.
"I meant don't say that you really like me." He said quietly. "B-but I-I do, Draco. Really. Don't be thick. If I didn't I wouldn't be here." I said bewildered. I tried to take his hand but he pulled away.
"You don't even know me." He said crossing the room to stand by the window. He crossed his arms in front of his chest trying to completely shut himself off from me.
"You don't know me either. That's what relationships are for. We'll get to know each other more. Soon we'll know everything." I was trying to keep it light. Draco was shutting down and I knew that if I said one wrong thing, I would lose him completely.
"Sure I do." Draco said with bitterness in his voice. "Why, you're Harry Potter. You're the Boy Who Lived."
"That's not the real me !" I shouted my anger getting the best of me. "I told you not to pretend to know me! Don't assume like everyone else."
"I know more about you and you're life than you do Harry. I know things that would make your hair curl. I know all about your past and all about your life here. All you know about me is what came out the other night. You tell me who's pretending to know whom here, Harry." Draco's lips had formed a tight line and his eyes were dark with anger.
"And the other night we learned we had the same life. I know about you Draco and I don't care. Why does this have to be so difficult? Why can't you just let what happens happen?" I was screaming now and the tears were back in my eyes. I couldn't help it anymore. My week had been bad enough. Now the one person that I thought understood me was pulling away. I didn't need this. Not now.
" It doesn't have to be any way, Harry. It just is this way because of our pasts. We can't change it. I thought coming here tonight would put my mind at ease. I don't even know what I want anymore."
"Bullshit!" I wanted to yell at him "you want me! You know you do!" but I couldn't find the courage to do it. I wanted to yell at him that I understood more than he knew but I couldn't make the words come out. It was all beginning to be to much.
"It's not! I have no idea what I've gotten myself into. I really have no idea what I want." Malfoy said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself, rather than me.
" Then why are you here?"
"Potter, you have to understand-"
"Quit calling me that. If I have to call you Draco then you can call me harry. Quit saying Potter like I'm less than you. By the way you're acting tonight, I know I'm a better man than you could even think of being."
"Fine then. Maybe you are better than I am. But I still came here didn't I? I could've stood you up, but I didn't. I'm just trying to figure things out Harry. That's all I'm trying to do here. Do you understand what I'm risking? Do you have any idea?" Malfoy's voice quivered slightly and he tried to cover it by clearing his throat.
"I'm taking a risk here, too. I'm going against everything I believe in. I'm going against my friends. I'm going against my family. But I'm still here, I'm willing to take this risk. I'm not a coward. I go for what I think is right." I said, through clenched teeth.
"Ever the Gryffindor, I see. I know you're taking risks here too, Harry, but they aren't like mine. Do you have any idea what they'll do to me if they find out? I opened up to you. I kissed you. For Merlin's sake, Harry. I jerked off thinking about you. If they ever find out, I'm dead. I've ruined the Malfoy name. I've gone against everything that my father has ever told me. I can never be a DeathEater. NEVER."
"Do you want to be?"
"That's irrelevant. The thing is, I have decisions to make. I have things to think about. I really thought this would be easier. But it's not. I was sure of what I wanted and then I came here tonight and second guessed everything." Malfoy said with his eyes on he ground.
"Irrelevant as it might be, I think I have a right to know." I said. My heart fell 5 feet to the floor as Malfoy spoke. I didn't want to think about him being a DeathEater, but apparently I was going to have to.
"I don't have a choice. They'll kill me if I don't join them." His voice was soft; I had to strain to hear it.
"You do-" I started but I was cut off by a tapping on the window. A handsome eagle was perched on the ledge. "Wha-why is there an owl in the Astronomy Tower?"
I turned to look at Malfoy and noticed he was ghostly white. His eyes were the size of plates and filled with tears. He looked as though he was going to be sick.
"Draco? What is it? Are you-"
"He knows." He said quietly. " He knows, Harry. That's it. It' s over."
"What are you talking about Draco?" I was confused. Why had Draco gone all sixes-and-sevens on me?
"The owl. He'll go back to father and then he'll know. He'll tell the Dark Lord. Oh gods! What have I done? I have to go! I have no choice." Draco babbled quickly.
"Draco! You aren't making a bit of sense. Could you please make a coherent statement.?" I was starting to panic, but nothing could prepare me for what came next.
"The owl. It's my father's." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ * ALRIGHT! Finally done with Chapter 3! Chapter 4 will be a breeze now that I finally have my set up. Please, please, please review guys. I'll give you a big virtual hug. And if you read it and don't respond and I find out? I'll be medieval on your virtual ass! Thanks a ton guys!~Ash