Disclaimer: Mine? Psh. I wish. They belong to Ms. JKR. And don't bother
trying to sue. I'm an unemployed high school student who gets her kicks
talking 'bout gay men.
A/N: To all of you who responded about my brother, I can't thank you enough. Your prayers are appreciated and hopefully, working. Josh has been much more responsive lately, and though he still hasn't been talking, the doctors still think there is room for a full recovery. This morning he was moving his toes by himself, which is a HUGE step and we couldn't be happier. You have no idea what your support has done for me. It's such and amazing feeling knowing that people you've never met and people that have no idea anything about you are willing to take time out of there day to pray for someone they don't know. It makes me proud to be a part of the fanfic community. A million thank you's and God bless you all: Ebon Wings, LadyVader, beautifulelf, SunGoddess, Tim, Mary , raya, Caz, Malfoy, KittyFD13, Danielle, Dark Fairy, Adam, and Essa. Know that I'm here for all of you if the time comes that you should need someone to talk too. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~
My face was frozen with horror and from the way Draco looked, terrified was an understatement. He looked near tears and was pale and shaky. He looked like he might throw up at any moment. A million thoughts were rushing through my mind.
"B-but...how can he know? H-his bird only just arrived." I said trying not to let the fear show in my voice.
"He'll know, Harry." Malfoy said weakly. "When his owl returns, he'll know."
"Birds can't talk, Draco. There's no way...there's ....we'll be ok....we're meant to be...he can't..." I tried to form sentences but everything was jumbling inside my mind. This couldn't be. Draco understood. He was all I had. We needed each other.
"HAVE YOU RETAINED NOTHING I'VE SAID, HARRY? Do you realize the FUCKING POWER my father has?" Draco looked crestfallen. " Harry, I know you don't understand. Even if by some chance he doesn't find out there is no way I could life a life of maybe's and what-if's with you. Not until Father is gone. But you have to know that I know we could've been great. We would've lasted for eternity. I'll come back for you. One day, Harry. Know I'll never stop thinking of you. When I've escaped my father, I'll be there for you. Please, Harry. Always remember. You belong with me. One day, I'll bring you home to stay."
Draco looked me deep in the eyes and kissed me one more time. Then he turned and walked out the door.
Draco wasn't at breakfast the next morning. As a matter of fact, he wasn't in any classes. By lunch time, I was so upset that I just stayed in my dorm, to depressed to eat. I couldn't face everyone with him gone and Ron and Hermione avoiding me. I curled up on my bed in the fetal position until there was a knock on the door.
"Go away." I said shortly into my pillow.
"Harry? You didn't come down for lunch and you've been so quiet all day. I thought I'd bring you a plate and see if you wanted to talk." Hermione said quietly.
"I'm not hungry."
"Harry, please. I'm trying here. Something is really bothering you and I know if it was the other way around, you'd be doing the same thing." Hermione said stepping further into the room.
" If it was the other way around, I wouldn't have been avoiding you like the plague. Why does it matter to you anyway? You don't care. In case you've forgotten, it's Malfoy." I said with the sarcasm dripping off every word.
"I'm really worried about you, Harry. I've never seen you like this. Ron's really worried as well. We want to help but you have to understand how hard this is." Hermione said sounding anxious.
"Psh. I'm sure he's upset." I said bitterly. " He wouldn't care if a hippogriff took a huge bite out of my arse right now."
"I am upset, Harry." Ron's voice came quietly from behind Hermione. "I've never seen you be so happy and then hit this low so quickly. You're bloody scaring the hell out of me. I swear to Merlin, Harry, If Malfoy hurt you, I'll kick his arse. Merlin knows this is hard on us."
"That is, if this has something to do with Malfoy." Hermione interjected.
"Of course it does." I said sharply. " And don't give me that 'this is hard' bullshit. You haven't got any idea what this is like for me!"
All at once the tears were pouring down my face and Hermione's arms were around me. Sobs were wracking through my body and I didn't care anymore the things that they had said. They were willing to listen and right then, it was what I needed most. The whole story, from detention to the moment they walked into the door, only took an hour to tell. After I was done, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. When I looked up, Ron's eyes werew glued to floor and Hermione's face was streaked with tears. "Harry....I ....I had no idea." Hermione choked. "I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm....sorry."
"S'not your fault." I said quietly into her shoulder. I felt Ron placed his hand on my back.
"His...his father can't really do anything, can he? I mean, it's an owl. Maybe if you just go and talk to Mal-....Draco....you'll see it's all ok." Ron said, stumbling over his words.
"It's not that easy. He hasn't been in any classes today. I can't get into the Slytherin commons. It's over. I'll just have to let it go. He told me he'd come back to me one day. One day, he'll take me home to stay." I said quietly, finally feeling the sleep deprivation of the night before.
"Ron," Hermione said, "let's leave him be so he can sleep."
"Alright, if you think it's what he wants." All I could do was nod. The sleep was slowly overcoming me.
"Just know we're here, Harry. And...we're sorry." Hermione said, hoarsely.
"Thanks 'Mione....hey...do you think it was really his father...or was it me?"
"Oh, Harry." Hermione said with fresh tears falling down her face. "It could never be you." And with that she turned and left.
I slept the rest of the day and didn't wake again until the middle of the night when I felt a hand shaking me.
"Harry? I need you to wake up." Dumbledore said quietly. "We need to talk."
I sat up quickly grabbing my glasses. "What is it, Professor? Is something wrong with Sirius?" Panic was racing through my veins and my heart was beating quickly.
"I think that it's best if we move to my office, Harry."
I was numb the whole entire walk to the office. By the time we had entered and sat down, my knees were shaking so badly I didn't know if I'd ever be able to walk again.
"Harry," Dumbledore began slowly, "there's been an accident. We tried to get there in time, Harry, but there was nothing we could do. You must understand that he did not suffer for long. It was quick. I rest assure if we could have saved him, we would have, but there was simply no hope."
My blood ran through my veins like ice. My heart had stopped in my chest and every time I tried to take a breath, a sharp pain shot through my chest.
"Was it Sirius? What's happened to him?" I said in a blaze of panic.
"No, Harry, It was Draco Malfoy." Dumbledore said quietly. " His father found out about your tryst late last evening and sent for him immediately. He told us it was a family emergency. Had we known at that time what we know now, we could have stopped it, but alas, there was no way to know."
Tears were numbly pouring down my face. How could it be? Just nine days before he was kissing me. He couldn't be gone. It was a lie. Not my Draco.
"H- how....bu- but...why did you tell...m-m-me?" I stammered through my tears.
"He wrote you a letter, Mr. Potter. Unfortunately, Mr. Malfoy knew what was to come. I think you should read this in private." Dumbledore left me alone in his office to read my letter. My hands trembled as I opened it.
My dearest Harry~ If you're reading this, then I'm already gone. I wanted to tell you goodbye. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through but know that everything I said was true. Nothing was lie. I know that when I arrive home I will be given a choice. Either become a DeathEater and kill you, or die to save you. I have chosen to save you, Harry. These past eight days have been some of the best of my life. I hope you know that I didn't want to hurt you. One day, we'll be together again Harry. I dreamed last night that we were separated, waiting for Father to pass. You were in Paris living your life and all of your dreams had come true, Harry. And they will. Know that I'm watching over you. One day, Harry, you'll be with me. And we'll be home to stay. All of me and everything that I am~ Draco
I wasn't allowed to be at Draco's funeral. It was just to risky, Dumbledore said. Sometimes, when I feel like the risk isn't to great, I take a trip out to the garden built in his memory. In the few days Draco and I spent together, as crazy as they may have been, I experienced something I'd never felt before. I was wanted. I was loved. As hard as it has been I know that one day Draco and I will be back together. And then I'll be home to stay.
There was a time when I thought my life could change no more than in those seven days. I was wrong. How long does it take for life to change completely? Nine days. Only nine days. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
Finished! Thanks guys. I want you to know that this story really did have a happy ending. In light of recent events, I changed it. I'm sorry that it took the darker tone. Someone e mailed me and told me to use writing as my outlet, so I did. I hope you guys still liked it. Please review. And once again thank you for all the support.
A/N: I also wanted to say that I used some pieces of a Josh Groban song in this chapter. It's called "Home to Stay" and it's a gorgeous song. I'm putting the lyrics down here. Everyone should download it or something. It's amazing.
"Home To Stay"
I know you're gone
I watched you leave
I always thought
That it was me
You made it clear
With that last kiss
You couldn't live a life
With maybe's and whatif's
When every boat
Has sailed away
And every path
Is marked and paved
When every road
Has had its say
Then I'll be bringing you back
Home to stay
I have the cards you sent to me
You wrote of trains and Paris galleries
This spring you'll draw
Canals, and frescoed walls
Look how far your dreaming's gone
When every town looks just the same
When every choice gets hard to make
When every map is put away
Then I'll be bringing you back
Home to stay
And now I know why you had to go alone
Isn't there a place between
When every boat
Has sailed away
And every path
Is marked and paved
When every road
Has had its say
Then I'll be bringing you back
Home to stay
Reach out to me
Call out my name
And I would bring you back again
Today
A/N: To all of you who responded about my brother, I can't thank you enough. Your prayers are appreciated and hopefully, working. Josh has been much more responsive lately, and though he still hasn't been talking, the doctors still think there is room for a full recovery. This morning he was moving his toes by himself, which is a HUGE step and we couldn't be happier. You have no idea what your support has done for me. It's such and amazing feeling knowing that people you've never met and people that have no idea anything about you are willing to take time out of there day to pray for someone they don't know. It makes me proud to be a part of the fanfic community. A million thank you's and God bless you all: Ebon Wings, LadyVader, beautifulelf, SunGoddess, Tim, Mary , raya, Caz, Malfoy, KittyFD13, Danielle, Dark Fairy, Adam, and Essa. Know that I'm here for all of you if the time comes that you should need someone to talk too. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~
My face was frozen with horror and from the way Draco looked, terrified was an understatement. He looked near tears and was pale and shaky. He looked like he might throw up at any moment. A million thoughts were rushing through my mind.
"B-but...how can he know? H-his bird only just arrived." I said trying not to let the fear show in my voice.
"He'll know, Harry." Malfoy said weakly. "When his owl returns, he'll know."
"Birds can't talk, Draco. There's no way...there's ....we'll be ok....we're meant to be...he can't..." I tried to form sentences but everything was jumbling inside my mind. This couldn't be. Draco understood. He was all I had. We needed each other.
"HAVE YOU RETAINED NOTHING I'VE SAID, HARRY? Do you realize the FUCKING POWER my father has?" Draco looked crestfallen. " Harry, I know you don't understand. Even if by some chance he doesn't find out there is no way I could life a life of maybe's and what-if's with you. Not until Father is gone. But you have to know that I know we could've been great. We would've lasted for eternity. I'll come back for you. One day, Harry. Know I'll never stop thinking of you. When I've escaped my father, I'll be there for you. Please, Harry. Always remember. You belong with me. One day, I'll bring you home to stay."
Draco looked me deep in the eyes and kissed me one more time. Then he turned and walked out the door.
Draco wasn't at breakfast the next morning. As a matter of fact, he wasn't in any classes. By lunch time, I was so upset that I just stayed in my dorm, to depressed to eat. I couldn't face everyone with him gone and Ron and Hermione avoiding me. I curled up on my bed in the fetal position until there was a knock on the door.
"Go away." I said shortly into my pillow.
"Harry? You didn't come down for lunch and you've been so quiet all day. I thought I'd bring you a plate and see if you wanted to talk." Hermione said quietly.
"I'm not hungry."
"Harry, please. I'm trying here. Something is really bothering you and I know if it was the other way around, you'd be doing the same thing." Hermione said stepping further into the room.
" If it was the other way around, I wouldn't have been avoiding you like the plague. Why does it matter to you anyway? You don't care. In case you've forgotten, it's Malfoy." I said with the sarcasm dripping off every word.
"I'm really worried about you, Harry. I've never seen you like this. Ron's really worried as well. We want to help but you have to understand how hard this is." Hermione said sounding anxious.
"Psh. I'm sure he's upset." I said bitterly. " He wouldn't care if a hippogriff took a huge bite out of my arse right now."
"I am upset, Harry." Ron's voice came quietly from behind Hermione. "I've never seen you be so happy and then hit this low so quickly. You're bloody scaring the hell out of me. I swear to Merlin, Harry, If Malfoy hurt you, I'll kick his arse. Merlin knows this is hard on us."
"That is, if this has something to do with Malfoy." Hermione interjected.
"Of course it does." I said sharply. " And don't give me that 'this is hard' bullshit. You haven't got any idea what this is like for me!"
All at once the tears were pouring down my face and Hermione's arms were around me. Sobs were wracking through my body and I didn't care anymore the things that they had said. They were willing to listen and right then, it was what I needed most. The whole story, from detention to the moment they walked into the door, only took an hour to tell. After I was done, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. When I looked up, Ron's eyes werew glued to floor and Hermione's face was streaked with tears. "Harry....I ....I had no idea." Hermione choked. "I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm....sorry."
"S'not your fault." I said quietly into her shoulder. I felt Ron placed his hand on my back.
"His...his father can't really do anything, can he? I mean, it's an owl. Maybe if you just go and talk to Mal-....Draco....you'll see it's all ok." Ron said, stumbling over his words.
"It's not that easy. He hasn't been in any classes today. I can't get into the Slytherin commons. It's over. I'll just have to let it go. He told me he'd come back to me one day. One day, he'll take me home to stay." I said quietly, finally feeling the sleep deprivation of the night before.
"Ron," Hermione said, "let's leave him be so he can sleep."
"Alright, if you think it's what he wants." All I could do was nod. The sleep was slowly overcoming me.
"Just know we're here, Harry. And...we're sorry." Hermione said, hoarsely.
"Thanks 'Mione....hey...do you think it was really his father...or was it me?"
"Oh, Harry." Hermione said with fresh tears falling down her face. "It could never be you." And with that she turned and left.
I slept the rest of the day and didn't wake again until the middle of the night when I felt a hand shaking me.
"Harry? I need you to wake up." Dumbledore said quietly. "We need to talk."
I sat up quickly grabbing my glasses. "What is it, Professor? Is something wrong with Sirius?" Panic was racing through my veins and my heart was beating quickly.
"I think that it's best if we move to my office, Harry."
I was numb the whole entire walk to the office. By the time we had entered and sat down, my knees were shaking so badly I didn't know if I'd ever be able to walk again.
"Harry," Dumbledore began slowly, "there's been an accident. We tried to get there in time, Harry, but there was nothing we could do. You must understand that he did not suffer for long. It was quick. I rest assure if we could have saved him, we would have, but there was simply no hope."
My blood ran through my veins like ice. My heart had stopped in my chest and every time I tried to take a breath, a sharp pain shot through my chest.
"Was it Sirius? What's happened to him?" I said in a blaze of panic.
"No, Harry, It was Draco Malfoy." Dumbledore said quietly. " His father found out about your tryst late last evening and sent for him immediately. He told us it was a family emergency. Had we known at that time what we know now, we could have stopped it, but alas, there was no way to know."
Tears were numbly pouring down my face. How could it be? Just nine days before he was kissing me. He couldn't be gone. It was a lie. Not my Draco.
"H- how....bu- but...why did you tell...m-m-me?" I stammered through my tears.
"He wrote you a letter, Mr. Potter. Unfortunately, Mr. Malfoy knew what was to come. I think you should read this in private." Dumbledore left me alone in his office to read my letter. My hands trembled as I opened it.
My dearest Harry~ If you're reading this, then I'm already gone. I wanted to tell you goodbye. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through but know that everything I said was true. Nothing was lie. I know that when I arrive home I will be given a choice. Either become a DeathEater and kill you, or die to save you. I have chosen to save you, Harry. These past eight days have been some of the best of my life. I hope you know that I didn't want to hurt you. One day, we'll be together again Harry. I dreamed last night that we were separated, waiting for Father to pass. You were in Paris living your life and all of your dreams had come true, Harry. And they will. Know that I'm watching over you. One day, Harry, you'll be with me. And we'll be home to stay. All of me and everything that I am~ Draco
I wasn't allowed to be at Draco's funeral. It was just to risky, Dumbledore said. Sometimes, when I feel like the risk isn't to great, I take a trip out to the garden built in his memory. In the few days Draco and I spent together, as crazy as they may have been, I experienced something I'd never felt before. I was wanted. I was loved. As hard as it has been I know that one day Draco and I will be back together. And then I'll be home to stay.
There was a time when I thought my life could change no more than in those seven days. I was wrong. How long does it take for life to change completely? Nine days. Only nine days. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
Finished! Thanks guys. I want you to know that this story really did have a happy ending. In light of recent events, I changed it. I'm sorry that it took the darker tone. Someone e mailed me and told me to use writing as my outlet, so I did. I hope you guys still liked it. Please review. And once again thank you for all the support.
A/N: I also wanted to say that I used some pieces of a Josh Groban song in this chapter. It's called "Home to Stay" and it's a gorgeous song. I'm putting the lyrics down here. Everyone should download it or something. It's amazing.
"Home To Stay"
I know you're gone
I watched you leave
I always thought
That it was me
You made it clear
With that last kiss
You couldn't live a life
With maybe's and whatif's
When every boat
Has sailed away
And every path
Is marked and paved
When every road
Has had its say
Then I'll be bringing you back
Home to stay
I have the cards you sent to me
You wrote of trains and Paris galleries
This spring you'll draw
Canals, and frescoed walls
Look how far your dreaming's gone
When every town looks just the same
When every choice gets hard to make
When every map is put away
Then I'll be bringing you back
Home to stay
And now I know why you had to go alone
Isn't there a place between
When every boat
Has sailed away
And every path
Is marked and paved
When every road
Has had its say
Then I'll be bringing you back
Home to stay
Reach out to me
Call out my name
And I would bring you back again
Today