AN: This is my farewell present, for anyone who cares. I won't be posting here, any more, becouse all my fanfiction it now dedicated to a TV show that isn't on here.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kevin, Rei, Ralph Nader, Avril Lavigne, or anyone else mentioned in Kevin's harem.
This Harem
by: Renya Marki
"Shit!" Kevin said, nearly jumping out of his skin as a hand touched his shoulder. He whirled around, jumping back.
"Jesus." Rei said, as he got a look at his face. "What's wrong with you?"
"Oh, nothing really." the smaller boy said. "I just got scared so bad I almost shit myself, but aside from that, I'm fit as a fucking fiddle."
Rei glared at him, and began peeling the banana he had brought with him. "I mean, do you make a habit of sitting around large piles of rocks crying, or is this a one-time thing."
"Shut up." Kevin said. "No that it's any of your business, but I'm in love."
"Yay." Rei replied. "So am I. Dare I ask with who?"
"Someone." he spat.
"Ah, good." the other boy said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "So I can safely tell Kai it WASN'T lust he saw you staring at that tree with. Christ, Kevin, be a bit more vaugh, will you?"
Kevin sighed, plunged his hand into his bag, and threw a small legal pad at Rei.
Rei caught it, and ran his gaze quickly over the writing. It was a list of names.
"What's this?" he asked, taking a bit of his banana.
Kevin looked up at the sky, blushing faintly. "It's my harem."
Rei just about choked. "You're WHAT??????" he yelled, once he regained use of his air passages.
"My harem." Kevin said. "I read about them in some book, and I thought it'd be cool to make up my own fictitious one."
"Jesus." Rei said. "You're in love with all these people? Steve Burns, Donovan Patton, Elijah Wood, Christina Ricci...... Wait a minute...... Who's Ralph Nader?"
"Former presidential candiate." Kevin said. Noting the look Rei was giving him, he added, "Don't ask. I've got this thing for skinny guys."
Rei raised his eyebrows, and nodded, before looking back at the list. "Shit." he said, flipping the page. "I've never heard of half of these people. Okay, Billy Boyd. Heard of him. I've heard of Avril Lavigne, though I have no idea why you're in love with her."
"Shut it." Kevin said. "I'm not in love with any of them, but one. The rest I just think it would be cool to screw around with."
"Nice."
"Shut up."
"So which one of these are you in love with?"
"You'll get to it, soon."
"Matt Damon?"
"Nope."
"Ben Affleck?"
"No."
"Orlando Bloom?"
"Is he on there?"
"Yup."
"Cool, but no."
"Murray Cook?"
"Yup."
Rei almost died laughing as it dawned on him who Murray Cook was. "Holy shit!" he said. "You mean the red guy on the Wiggles?"
"Fuck you." Kevin answered. "He's hot."
"He's like fifty!"
"Forty-two." the other replied, sulkily. "His birthday is on June thirtieth."
Rei just kept laughing. Kevin pulled a green notebook out of his bag, removed the mechanical pencil from the spine, opened to a blank page, and started writing. He was going to make Rei sorry he had laughed by planting a nice, long love letter to Kai under his mattress for Mariah to find.
Oh, how sweet revenge could be.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kevin, Rei, Ralph Nader, Avril Lavigne, or anyone else mentioned in Kevin's harem.
This Harem
by: Renya Marki
"Shit!" Kevin said, nearly jumping out of his skin as a hand touched his shoulder. He whirled around, jumping back.
"Jesus." Rei said, as he got a look at his face. "What's wrong with you?"
"Oh, nothing really." the smaller boy said. "I just got scared so bad I almost shit myself, but aside from that, I'm fit as a fucking fiddle."
Rei glared at him, and began peeling the banana he had brought with him. "I mean, do you make a habit of sitting around large piles of rocks crying, or is this a one-time thing."
"Shut up." Kevin said. "No that it's any of your business, but I'm in love."
"Yay." Rei replied. "So am I. Dare I ask with who?"
"Someone." he spat.
"Ah, good." the other boy said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "So I can safely tell Kai it WASN'T lust he saw you staring at that tree with. Christ, Kevin, be a bit more vaugh, will you?"
Kevin sighed, plunged his hand into his bag, and threw a small legal pad at Rei.
Rei caught it, and ran his gaze quickly over the writing. It was a list of names.
"What's this?" he asked, taking a bit of his banana.
Kevin looked up at the sky, blushing faintly. "It's my harem."
Rei just about choked. "You're WHAT??????" he yelled, once he regained use of his air passages.
"My harem." Kevin said. "I read about them in some book, and I thought it'd be cool to make up my own fictitious one."
"Jesus." Rei said. "You're in love with all these people? Steve Burns, Donovan Patton, Elijah Wood, Christina Ricci...... Wait a minute...... Who's Ralph Nader?"
"Former presidential candiate." Kevin said. Noting the look Rei was giving him, he added, "Don't ask. I've got this thing for skinny guys."
Rei raised his eyebrows, and nodded, before looking back at the list. "Shit." he said, flipping the page. "I've never heard of half of these people. Okay, Billy Boyd. Heard of him. I've heard of Avril Lavigne, though I have no idea why you're in love with her."
"Shut it." Kevin said. "I'm not in love with any of them, but one. The rest I just think it would be cool to screw around with."
"Nice."
"Shut up."
"So which one of these are you in love with?"
"You'll get to it, soon."
"Matt Damon?"
"Nope."
"Ben Affleck?"
"No."
"Orlando Bloom?"
"Is he on there?"
"Yup."
"Cool, but no."
"Murray Cook?"
"Yup."
Rei almost died laughing as it dawned on him who Murray Cook was. "Holy shit!" he said. "You mean the red guy on the Wiggles?"
"Fuck you." Kevin answered. "He's hot."
"He's like fifty!"
"Forty-two." the other replied, sulkily. "His birthday is on June thirtieth."
Rei just kept laughing. Kevin pulled a green notebook out of his bag, removed the mechanical pencil from the spine, opened to a blank page, and started writing. He was going to make Rei sorry he had laughed by planting a nice, long love letter to Kai under his mattress for Mariah to find.
Oh, how sweet revenge could be.