NOTE: I have been informed that I put Ginny in a 7th year potion class,
though she is a 6th year. I apologize. Changes will be made as soon as I
figure out how to coherently do so. Thank you.
A/N: mmm... deliciously tight pants on Snape...
mmm..... deliciously tight pants NOT on Snape........ *siiiiiiiigh*
Disclaimer: Why yes, I did write the Harry Potter Series. What? You want my autograph? Why sure! *gives you an autograph* Hey wait... where are you going? No!!! Not the lawyers!! NOT THE LAWYERS!!
Actual Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, items, or places of the Harry Potter universe. Everything Harry Potter and then some belongs to JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Publishing Plc and Scholastic Books. Or God, if you think about it. ^.- I should stop saying things like that...
And without further Ado about nothing,
They Were Awfully Tight Pants:
The Continuation.
"Roads are only a suggestion, Marge. Like pants!" -Homer J. Simpson.
Ginny, Parvati, and Lavender stood at the corner of the hallway waiting for Hermione to enter the classroom. She had been early to class, as she always is, but hadn't entered yet.
"If she waits any longer, we'll all be late!" Ginny exclaimed, exasperated.
In fact, she had been standing out there delaying her entrance for more than 4 minutes.
"Oh, she has to enter sometime! She'd rather face him in class than face a week of him in detention for being late!"
The 'him' she referred to was Mr. Severus Snape. That was the name given to him by his parents, at least. Now he was known as Professor Severus Snape. That was what the students and staff called him to his face, at least. Ah, but last night he and his deliciously tight little friends were known by only one title- Mr. Tight Pants.
"Yeah, but we'll be sharing that detention with her!"
And now Hermione was facing the unthinkable act of having a whole class with him, after very unsuccessfully hitting on him.
"So? I think watching her squirm is quite worth it!" Lavender said joyfully.
But the one thing none of the girls could figure out was just what he was doing at the Three Broomsticks, leaning gently upon the counter, waiting for Rosmerta to serve him his drink.
(Start Flashback Scene.)
"I wonder what he was drinking." Parvati wondered meditatively. Lavender was passed out in the bathroom. Her friends had thoughtfully rolled her on her side with in arms length of the toilet and left. Parvati had already drunk one cup of Butterbeer from the Gryffindor stash once they got back to the common room and showed no signs of slowing down.
Hermione was frantic.
"I can't believe I hit on Snape! On SNAPE!"
"I bet he drinks scotch. Or whisky," Parvati continued.
"I came onto Snape! The greasiest, slimiest, snakiest, snarkiest bastard ever to roam the halls of Hogwarts!"
"Or brandy. Something hard."
"Yeah, something hard. Like Snape's chest." Ginny giggled at the thought of it.
"You two aren't even listening! I tried to... to seduce Snape! Snape, of all people!"
"He keeps in good shape. I bet he has all sorts of work-out equipment in his room," Ginny speculated.
"His chambers. He probably calls it his 'chambers'."
"I can't believe you guys! Why, oh why did I let you talk me into do that!" Ginny sighed and focused on the problem at hand. She put an arm around Hermione's shoulders.
"Don't worry, Hermione. I'm sure he won't think anything of it."
"He was probably to drunk on brandy and too lightheaded from his pants cutting off the circulation to his brain to remember it anyway," Parvati pointed out, while pouring her another glass of Butterbeer. Hermione buried herself under the pillows of her bed and squelched a scream against them. Parvati drank the Butterbeer she had poured for Hermione and sighed.
(End Flashback Scene)
Hermione inhaled deeply. She paused. She exhaled slowly. She paused.
(This isn't getting you anywhere. Go inside. Just do it.)
She still wasn't moving.
(Just go in and sit down. Don't look at him. Don't look up.)
She took another deep breath. She straightened her spine and looked forward.
(You can do it!)
She pushed the door to the classroom open. And stopped in the entryway.
(Oh, don't stop now. People can see you now! You're just standing in the doorway!)
People could indeed see her now, and were indeed looking.
She continued through the door and made it to her seat without stopping again. The three other girls followed her moments later.
"We're proud of you!" Ginny said as Hermione busied herself unpacking her materials for class.
"Why?" She asked as she neatly lined up her quills next to her parchment. "I haven't done anything to be proud of."
"Oh, don't be modest! We're proud that you faced your fear and came to class today."
"I figured you'd just fake sick and hide in the medical wing." Hermione cringed. (I wish I'd thought of that. I denounce my title as 'The Smart One.') "You've got more guts than I do," Parvati continued.
"Why would I be afraid to come here? I have no fear of Potions. It's easy." She pulled out her textbook and neatly positioned the edges of it and her parchment parallel with the table.
"It's not Potions you have a fear of," said Lavender.
"Nope, it's Snape and the Amazing Hypertight Dream Pants!" Ginny said cheerfully.
"I'm not afraid of Snape!"
"You just re-counted your quills for the third time. And you only have two quills!"
"Then why haven't you looked up from your equipment since you can in?" Lavender asked.
"Afraid to get a glance of his equipment?" Ginny snickered.
"I think we all got a good enough look last night!" Lavender and Ginny collapsed with giggles until an ominous shadow fell upon them, like death come to collect his dues.
"What, may I ask, is so funny Miss Brown and Miss Weasely?"
"Nothing, Professor Snape," was Miss Weasely's meek answer.
"Then if there is nothing funny then there is nothing for you two to be laughing so distractingly about, is there?" Both nodded. "Good." He turned to return to his lesson, but paused and turned to Hermione instead.
"Miss Granger, I'll want to speak to you after class." The class turned to look at her questioningly, but she had buried her head in her Potions book and muffled another scream. It was becoming a habit.
The girls gathered together to continue their conversation while Snape launched into an explanation of the use of armadillo bile in an Attention Honing Potion, a potion that would be extremely useful for him at the moment.
"You know, if you cut the right words out of his sentence, he secret says that he wants you," said Ginny.
"He probably just wants to punish you. _Punish_ you." Lavender winked and nudged Hermione in the ribs.
"I always knew he was an S&M freak. He has that dominant air about him."
"I bet he uses Filch's whips and chains," Lavender pondered.
"Oh, what does he want from me? He's going to give me so many detentions! I skipped out and went to Hogsmead against the rules. I tried to hit on him. I checked out his body in pants!"
"Tight pants!" Ginny exclaimed.
"Don't worry, Hermione," Parvati said comfortingly. "It's not like he's going to invite you over for a game of nude co-ed Twister. He'll probably just intimidate you, pile detentions on you, and let you go!"
"Thank you, thank you, I feel much better now." Snape sent a glare their way but didn't stop his rant on the use of lizard blood in a Re-growth Potion. The girls returned to their seats and anxiously awaited the end of the class period.
(I am going to die.)
A/N: Of _COURSE_ I'll be writing more ^_^; I just wanted to break this up. I didn't know how long it would be on the website (and have the short- attention span that I do, I couldn't make it too long.)
Oh, and she's not actually going to die. She's exaggerating. Seriously.
And for future reference, we'll say they're in their 6/7th year (respectively). So if anything happens between Snape and Hermione, which I'm not saying will happen!!!, it's all legal. She'll be 18. Or something... whatever, that doesn't mean that anything is going to happen. Oh, and did anyone notice how it use to be in the Humor/Parody category, but now it's in the Humor/Romance category? If that ain't foreshadowing, I don't know what is! ^___-
As always, dedicated to Eddie and Cole.
My deepest apologies to HowHow. I know this is still not femslash. ^_^;;
Much thanks to both Cassandra (http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=277438) and Werecat99 (http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=5808) because, believe it or not, I hadn't even THOUGHT about writing about the next Potions class. I KNEW there was a really obvious option for continuance, but I honestly could not think of what it was! ^_^;;;
And, as always, time for my personal favorite quote of the story- A tie between "Yeah, something hard. Like Snape's chest." "It's Snape and the Amazing Hypertight Dream Pants!" Mmmmm... bishies with hard chests and Amazing hypertight dream pants..... *giggle*passes out*
Ficlet: REVIEW ME! *flashes its "chapters" (hey, it has two of them ^.-)*
Much Lovin'
-Lost in the Forest
A/N: mmm... deliciously tight pants on Snape...
mmm..... deliciously tight pants NOT on Snape........ *siiiiiiiigh*
Disclaimer: Why yes, I did write the Harry Potter Series. What? You want my autograph? Why sure! *gives you an autograph* Hey wait... where are you going? No!!! Not the lawyers!! NOT THE LAWYERS!!
Actual Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, items, or places of the Harry Potter universe. Everything Harry Potter and then some belongs to JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Publishing Plc and Scholastic Books. Or God, if you think about it. ^.- I should stop saying things like that...
And without further Ado about nothing,
They Were Awfully Tight Pants:
The Continuation.
"Roads are only a suggestion, Marge. Like pants!" -Homer J. Simpson.
Ginny, Parvati, and Lavender stood at the corner of the hallway waiting for Hermione to enter the classroom. She had been early to class, as she always is, but hadn't entered yet.
"If she waits any longer, we'll all be late!" Ginny exclaimed, exasperated.
In fact, she had been standing out there delaying her entrance for more than 4 minutes.
"Oh, she has to enter sometime! She'd rather face him in class than face a week of him in detention for being late!"
The 'him' she referred to was Mr. Severus Snape. That was the name given to him by his parents, at least. Now he was known as Professor Severus Snape. That was what the students and staff called him to his face, at least. Ah, but last night he and his deliciously tight little friends were known by only one title- Mr. Tight Pants.
"Yeah, but we'll be sharing that detention with her!"
And now Hermione was facing the unthinkable act of having a whole class with him, after very unsuccessfully hitting on him.
"So? I think watching her squirm is quite worth it!" Lavender said joyfully.
But the one thing none of the girls could figure out was just what he was doing at the Three Broomsticks, leaning gently upon the counter, waiting for Rosmerta to serve him his drink.
(Start Flashback Scene.)
"I wonder what he was drinking." Parvati wondered meditatively. Lavender was passed out in the bathroom. Her friends had thoughtfully rolled her on her side with in arms length of the toilet and left. Parvati had already drunk one cup of Butterbeer from the Gryffindor stash once they got back to the common room and showed no signs of slowing down.
Hermione was frantic.
"I can't believe I hit on Snape! On SNAPE!"
"I bet he drinks scotch. Or whisky," Parvati continued.
"I came onto Snape! The greasiest, slimiest, snakiest, snarkiest bastard ever to roam the halls of Hogwarts!"
"Or brandy. Something hard."
"Yeah, something hard. Like Snape's chest." Ginny giggled at the thought of it.
"You two aren't even listening! I tried to... to seduce Snape! Snape, of all people!"
"He keeps in good shape. I bet he has all sorts of work-out equipment in his room," Ginny speculated.
"His chambers. He probably calls it his 'chambers'."
"I can't believe you guys! Why, oh why did I let you talk me into do that!" Ginny sighed and focused on the problem at hand. She put an arm around Hermione's shoulders.
"Don't worry, Hermione. I'm sure he won't think anything of it."
"He was probably to drunk on brandy and too lightheaded from his pants cutting off the circulation to his brain to remember it anyway," Parvati pointed out, while pouring her another glass of Butterbeer. Hermione buried herself under the pillows of her bed and squelched a scream against them. Parvati drank the Butterbeer she had poured for Hermione and sighed.
(End Flashback Scene)
Hermione inhaled deeply. She paused. She exhaled slowly. She paused.
(This isn't getting you anywhere. Go inside. Just do it.)
She still wasn't moving.
(Just go in and sit down. Don't look at him. Don't look up.)
She took another deep breath. She straightened her spine and looked forward.
(You can do it!)
She pushed the door to the classroom open. And stopped in the entryway.
(Oh, don't stop now. People can see you now! You're just standing in the doorway!)
People could indeed see her now, and were indeed looking.
She continued through the door and made it to her seat without stopping again. The three other girls followed her moments later.
"We're proud of you!" Ginny said as Hermione busied herself unpacking her materials for class.
"Why?" She asked as she neatly lined up her quills next to her parchment. "I haven't done anything to be proud of."
"Oh, don't be modest! We're proud that you faced your fear and came to class today."
"I figured you'd just fake sick and hide in the medical wing." Hermione cringed. (I wish I'd thought of that. I denounce my title as 'The Smart One.') "You've got more guts than I do," Parvati continued.
"Why would I be afraid to come here? I have no fear of Potions. It's easy." She pulled out her textbook and neatly positioned the edges of it and her parchment parallel with the table.
"It's not Potions you have a fear of," said Lavender.
"Nope, it's Snape and the Amazing Hypertight Dream Pants!" Ginny said cheerfully.
"I'm not afraid of Snape!"
"You just re-counted your quills for the third time. And you only have two quills!"
"Then why haven't you looked up from your equipment since you can in?" Lavender asked.
"Afraid to get a glance of his equipment?" Ginny snickered.
"I think we all got a good enough look last night!" Lavender and Ginny collapsed with giggles until an ominous shadow fell upon them, like death come to collect his dues.
"What, may I ask, is so funny Miss Brown and Miss Weasely?"
"Nothing, Professor Snape," was Miss Weasely's meek answer.
"Then if there is nothing funny then there is nothing for you two to be laughing so distractingly about, is there?" Both nodded. "Good." He turned to return to his lesson, but paused and turned to Hermione instead.
"Miss Granger, I'll want to speak to you after class." The class turned to look at her questioningly, but she had buried her head in her Potions book and muffled another scream. It was becoming a habit.
The girls gathered together to continue their conversation while Snape launched into an explanation of the use of armadillo bile in an Attention Honing Potion, a potion that would be extremely useful for him at the moment.
"You know, if you cut the right words out of his sentence, he secret says that he wants you," said Ginny.
"He probably just wants to punish you. _Punish_ you." Lavender winked and nudged Hermione in the ribs.
"I always knew he was an S&M freak. He has that dominant air about him."
"I bet he uses Filch's whips and chains," Lavender pondered.
"Oh, what does he want from me? He's going to give me so many detentions! I skipped out and went to Hogsmead against the rules. I tried to hit on him. I checked out his body in pants!"
"Tight pants!" Ginny exclaimed.
"Don't worry, Hermione," Parvati said comfortingly. "It's not like he's going to invite you over for a game of nude co-ed Twister. He'll probably just intimidate you, pile detentions on you, and let you go!"
"Thank you, thank you, I feel much better now." Snape sent a glare their way but didn't stop his rant on the use of lizard blood in a Re-growth Potion. The girls returned to their seats and anxiously awaited the end of the class period.
(I am going to die.)
A/N: Of _COURSE_ I'll be writing more ^_^; I just wanted to break this up. I didn't know how long it would be on the website (and have the short- attention span that I do, I couldn't make it too long.)
Oh, and she's not actually going to die. She's exaggerating. Seriously.
And for future reference, we'll say they're in their 6/7th year (respectively). So if anything happens between Snape and Hermione, which I'm not saying will happen!!!, it's all legal. She'll be 18. Or something... whatever, that doesn't mean that anything is going to happen. Oh, and did anyone notice how it use to be in the Humor/Parody category, but now it's in the Humor/Romance category? If that ain't foreshadowing, I don't know what is! ^___-
As always, dedicated to Eddie and Cole.
My deepest apologies to HowHow. I know this is still not femslash. ^_^;;
Much thanks to both Cassandra (http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=277438) and Werecat99 (http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=5808) because, believe it or not, I hadn't even THOUGHT about writing about the next Potions class. I KNEW there was a really obvious option for continuance, but I honestly could not think of what it was! ^_^;;;
And, as always, time for my personal favorite quote of the story- A tie between "Yeah, something hard. Like Snape's chest." "It's Snape and the Amazing Hypertight Dream Pants!" Mmmmm... bishies with hard chests and Amazing hypertight dream pants..... *giggle*passes out*
Ficlet: REVIEW ME! *flashes its "chapters" (hey, it has two of them ^.-)*
Much Lovin'
-Lost in the Forest