Affirmation
Chapter 2: Junk Food Tastes So Good Because It's Bad for You
A FFVII Fan Fiction
By
Lady Aoi
Summary: Set forty years pre-game, this is the story of Shinra's space program and the impossible love between two men. In this chapter, we meet the second of them, Matthew Palmer.
Pairings: Heidegger/Palmer
Rating: R for language, violence and limeish yaoi/shounen-ai.
Disclaimer: I don't own Heidegger, Palmer, President Shinra, Hojo or any cannon character who wanders happily through this fic wondering what drugs everyone else is on. However, Natashya Heidegger, Nathaniel and Myrtle Palmer are mine. Buy Final Fantasy XI, kids!
~*~
Slowly, a doughnut-shaped sun rose upon a barren and desolate alien world.
"Dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-dun…"
A lone astronaut exited his bottle rocket and nervously cased the landscape. He looked left. He looked right. He looked left again. Then slowly, hesitantly, he raised his booted foot and planted it firmly upon alien soil.
"Dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-dun…"
"Shinra base… that's one small step for man, and one gigantic leap for mankind…Oh! Hey, excuse me for one second?"
The astronaut lay on his side as the ground shook perilously beneath him. A ball of rubber bands rolled past as it began to snow. A few minutes later, the explorer struggled back to his feet. The sun now had a large bite-shaped chunk missing from it.
"Palmer to Shinra Base, it seems we are experiencing some unprecedented lunar eclipse. The sun appears to have been eaten. Repeat…mhhhh. I didn't know this one had jelly inside!"
A few seconds later, the sun vanished entirely, leaving only the detritus of sugary snow as evidence of its former existence.
"Mhhh…dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-dun."
"Shinra base… the sun seems to have vanished entirely. Mhh… but it sure tasted great…"
"Blibble! Blibble! Blibble!"
The astronaut turned just in time to see it. "Uh…hey, Shinra base….? I think we have a problem…" he murmured as a long, narrow shadow divided his face. "I really think we have a problem…"
"Blibble! Blibble? Blibble?" the pencil questioned.
"I am Lt. Matthew Palmer of the Planet… um… I come in peace!"
"Bliiiiiiible!" The giant pencil began to bounce forward menacingly.
"Wait! Wait! I am a representative of a peace-loving society!"
"Bliiiiiiiiible!"
"We're a race of explorers! Men of science and learning! Um… um…I don't wanna use my mako gun on you!"
"Bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiible…."
"Um… um…. Here! Here's a peace offering!"
"Blibble?" The pencil inclined its eraser slightly as a large doughnut descended from the sky.
"Halleluiah! Halleluiah! Halleluiah! Halleluiah!"
"Please," the astronaut bowed to the alien. "Eat as much of it as you wish."
"And so the intrepid explorer and the sole resident of planet Blibble sat down to partake of the gigantic doughnut. And peace reigned between their home worlds for years. The end."
Matthew Palmer looked up from his toys and wiped his brow. "Phew! If only space travel really was like that. 'Scuse me now, guys. I think I'm gonna eat that doughnut!" As Palmer reached over the toy rocket to grab for final glazed pastry, the telephone rang. "Hey! Hey!" the young man cried as he picked it up. "Engineering Department, fifteenth floor! Matt Palmer speaking!" he bit into his doughnut happily. "Mmmh! How cag I help mmew?"
"Palmer, take that doughnut out of your mouth and get back to work!"
"Aaah!" Palmer nearly choked on his confection. "Puh—president Shinra!" he wheezed as he spewed little glazed crumbs all over the receiver.
"No, Palmer, it's your mother!"
"Mother?" Palmer blinked. "Oh. Hey! Mama! How are you? Gosh, you sure do sound different! You're not playing a joke on me, are you?"
"Palmer," President Shinra growled. "Put down the doughnut, put your toys away and GET BACK TO THOSE PLANS!! NOW!!!"
Palmer responded to this order by screaming and falling off his desk. Unfortunately for Shinra, he also dragged the telephone down with him.
"Palmer," Shinra began to feel a headache coming on. "Listen to me now, okay? Stop screaming."
*sniff, sniff*
"Stop crying. Get off the floor, put your toys away, and go back to your drafting, alright?"
"But – but—" Palmer whimpered, "I'm all tangled up in the phone cord now!"
"Then untangle yourself, get up and –" Shinra sighed and hung his head as the phone cut off. Slowly, he replaced the receiver in its cradle and buried his face in his hands. "Miss Kempe?" He asked, pressing his telephone's intercom button.
"Yes, President Shinra?"
"Please send someone to get me two aspirin and another pot of coffee. We're
out."
"Yes, sir. And sir?"
Shinra sighed again. "What is it, Miss Kempe?"
"Your three o'clock is here to see you, sir."
The young president honestly considered ignoring his secretary's last remark. Finally, however, his new-found sense of responsibility as the company's president won him over. "Oh? And who is it?"
"His Excellency Nathaniel Palmer, sir."
Shinra hesitated. On the one hand, he desperately did not want to see or hear from his worst engineer's overbearing and insanely powerful father at the moment. On the other hand, could he really refuse such a man? "Send him in, Miss Kempe," he finally said. "Oh. And as for the aspirin?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Double my dose." President Shinra clicked the intercom off and straightened his tie with the care and concern of a condemned man.
Dammit, what does that man want from me today?
The young man was not left wondering for very long. Minutes later, the afternoon sunlight flashed across his office doors and the methodical clip-clop of his secretary's heels announced his unwelcome guest before a single word was spoken.
"His Excellency Nathaniel Palmer."
"Jonathan! Wonderful to see you!"
"Your Excellency," Remembering his late father's advice, the young Shinra was quick to acknowledge the white haired man with nothing but a polite but neutral nod, and an equally ambiguous smile. Without another word, Miss Kempe bowed to both men and closed the high glass and mahogany doors behind her. Shinra did not even turn his head to watch her leave. "Please, your Excellency," he gestured to the chair in front of his desk.
"Why, thank you. Don't mind if I do," Governor Palmer said as he eased his girth into the soft maroon leather chair. Once arranged, he exhaled happily and removed a silver cigarette case from his vest pocket. "I came as soon as I heard," he said as he fumbled for a lighter. "I'm sorry about your father. David Shinra was a good man. It must be difficult for you. If there's anything you need…" He offered the young man his cigarette case.
Jonathan Shinra politely waved it aside. "Thank you, Your Excellency. Your offer is most appreciated. These last few days have, indeed, been most trying… for all of us."
The old man nodded as he slid the cigarettes back into his pocket. "Oh, I can fully understand, Jonathan," he said as he puffed on his cigarette. The smell of vanilla tobacco soon filled the office, and Shinra began to feel ill. "And that's why I hate to bring this matter up now. But sadly, I really don't have a choice."
"Matter, Your Excellency?"
The chair creaked in protest as Governor Palmer leaned forward. "Yes, Jonathan. The matter of my son's employment in your engineering department."
Shinra nodded. Oh, god. The old man simply had to bring that up on a day like this. And yet, what could he do about it but smile pleasantly and nod? "I see."
The Governor removed the cigarette from his mouth and tapped the embers into the tray on Shinra's desk. "A few days before his… before your father passed, he sent me Matthew's monthly evaluation. I don't know if David told you, but I've been asking him for one for the last two years. Jonathan, it is my understanding that Matthew isn't performing…well, that he isn't the best engineer in your department."
That's putting it mildly, Shinra thought. Instead, he continued to listen.
"But he's just…" Nathaniel sighed. "He just needs some time. Encouragement. Discipline. And I know you're just the young man to teach him that. David was a marvel of a man but… I often believed he never really understood my son."
Shinra could not help but wonder if anyone truly did… and why anyone would ever want to.
"Matthew's a good boy, but he just… he gets distracted easily. Sometimes I think…" Nathaniel's face clouded for a moment. "Ah. But no matter," he continued as he removed his cigarette case a second time. "I'm fully confident that you can help him find his niche at Shinra, Inc."
"Yes, your Excellency." Why don't you just come out and tell me I don't have any choice *but* to help him find his damn niche?
"Oh, I almost forgot," Nathaniel reached into his pocket and removed a small envelope. "This is for you, Jonathan."
Shinra took it calmly, noting for the fifth time during the meeting that his father's summation of Nathaniel Palmer's character had omitted nothing and nothing extenuated. The old man had all the subtlety of a Behemoth when passing a bribe! And yet, what could be done about it? David Shinra had also told him the exact truth regarding the company's tenuous relationship with Junon's governor. And though Shinra knew he was an inexperienced president, he also knew he wasn't a stupid one by any means. "I'll do my best to help him find one," he said. What else was there to do?
"I know I can count on you," the governor said as he rose. "And now, as much as I would love to stay, I'm afraid I must get back to some urgent business in Junon. You will phone me if you need anything?"
"Of course," Shinra stood as well and shook the large hand offered him. "I am reachable at any time, Your Excellency." Just like my puppet of a father was…
"Glad to hear it," and to Shinra's horror, Nathaniel actually placed a hand on his shoulder. "Listen son. Take some of the Gil in that envelope and treat yourself. Hit the taverns, go shopping, and paint the town red from the bottom up. Heaven knows, you deserve it after this week." And then the old man turned and left the room.
As soon as he was gone, Shinra opened a drawer and shoved the envelope inside.
"I'll be damned if I'll spend your dirty money on anything but the things my father told me to," the young president fumed. "And if you think otherwise, you can shove it, old man! Father may have humored you, I may humor you, but I'll be damned if I'll play the fool or beggar for you!" His eyes narrowed dangerously.
"And I'll be damned if I help your idiot son 'find his niche' either!" Ahh, what was that old saying about the sins of the father? From Shinra's earliest memories, his father's company had been closely allied to Junon – or, more exactly, to its corpulent leader. Nathaniel Palmer was Junon's governor and, quite possibly, the only threat to Shinra, Inc's power on the face of the planet. While the leaders of other city-states had either capitulated to Shinra, Inc's authority ages ago out of stupidity, military weakness or simple bald-faced cowardice, Nathaniel Palmer ruled his province with the wisdom of a Medici, the cunning of a Machiavelli, and the ruthlessness of a Borgia. His political erudition and Junon's strategic position on the eastern coast had essentially put him in the convenient position of demanding anything he wished from the electric company – and getting it, too. For without Nathaniel's consent, Shinra, Inc. could not mount its greatest and largest mako cannon on the city's battlements.
One of the governor's main demands had been a job for his imbecile of a son. Shinra's father had been unable to refuse, and so the little moron had been bumbling his way around the engineering department ever since. And for the last two years, otherwise qualified employees had been tolerating his inattention, sloppy work and general clumsiness.
Well, Shinra decided as he picked up the telephone, all of this was about to change. While he couldn't fire Matthew Palmer, he didn't exactly have to give him a free ride anymore, either. His father had insisted on doing so, and his father also had the virtue of being dead now.
"From now on, Matthew Palmer," Shinra muttered as he dialed the hapless engineer's number, "From now on, life around here is going to get just a little bit harder for you. Hmm, that's strange," he said as the fourth ring. "Usually he's in his office now…"
"President Shinra?"
"What is it, Miss Kempe?" Shinra asked as he replaced the receiver in its cradle and turned to the speaker on his desk.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, sir. But your four o'clock is here."
"Ahh, yes...Miss Kempe?"
"It's Professor Hojo, sir."
Once again, Shinra's face met his hands. "Alright, Miss Kempe, send the doctor in." Heaven knew how Gast's little primadona hated to be kept waiting…
~*~
Unbeknownst to President Shinra, Matthew Palmer had left his office shortly after the telephone call. Being yelled at by anyone, especially his boss was a surefire way to ruin his day. And not wanting it to be ruined so quickly, Palmer had vowed to cheer himself up by finding more doughnuts. On the way to the cafeteria, he had been distracted along the way by his favorite room in the Shinra building: the 59th floor Observatory.
"Hey, hey! How's it going, guys?!" Palmer grinned waved to two passing engineers. "Tra la la! Wanna come see the Observatory with me? I got a box of doughnuts!" He waved them happily as the two engineers passed him.
"Do you hear anything, Wedge?" The first engineer asked.
"I don't think so, Biggs. Unless you're referring to that barking dog."
Barking dog? Palmer scratched his head. What were they talking about? Pets weren't allowed in the Shinra building! Well, maybe guard dogs were, but still! They wouldn't be on the 59th Floor. Unless one of them had escaped. Ohhhh! Scary thought!
"Hey, hey! Wedge! Biggs! You didn't really see a dog up here, did you?"
"How strange," Wedge wrinkled his nose as he and his companion entered the elevator. "There it goes again! I wonder if it even notices it's being insulted."
"Does he ever? You could probably walk right up to him, punch him in the nose, and he'd still just give you that goofy smile of his and offer you a doughnut."
"Yeah, aren't the mentally retarded a pain in the nose to work with?"
"Hey, guys? You still didn't tell me about the dog."
When both men only laughed at him as the doors closed, however, Palmer decided they'd only made the dog up. "Mouu, you don't need to be so rude!" He shouted after the elevator. "And don't say retarded again!! It's mean!"
Sometimes I wish I was retarded, though, Palmer whimpered as he reached into his pocket and removed his key card. At least then I really wouldn't understand the mean things you say about me to my face! Swiping the card through the pad dejectedly, Palmer shuffled through the door…
And immediately forgot all about his sadness, the engineer's taunts, and the dog (that he still suspected to be roaming the fifty ninth floor).
"Wow, look at this place," the young man whispered. Truth be told, Palmer hated everything about engineering. No matter how hard he tried, he could never make a dent in the work that covered his desk, and the long urban development meetings bored him almost literally to tears. In fact, everything about Shinra, Inc. made him want to cry out of confusion and the sheer frustration of it all. Everything, that was, except the 59th Floor Observatory. Silent, clean and usually empty save for Palmer, it served as the young man's sanctuary against the company he had grown to hate.
"No… almost hate," Palmer said to no one in particular as he sat down in front of a large telescope. "Because you and I both know things won't always be this way, right Copernicus? Someday, Midgar will be finished, and then we can concentrate on better things…" he placed his eye against the telescope's end and turned it towards the slowly darkening sky. He frowned when he only saw darkness. "Hey, what's up, Copernicus?" Palmer frowned as his fingers discovered the large crack running down the telescope's side. "Someone broke you since I was here last?" That was weird. Who could have been in the Observatory between lunch and now? "Well, don't you worry," Palmer soothed as he gently removed the telescope from its stand, "Ole Matt'll have you working again in no time! Hey, don't worry, okay? I always watch out for my friends."
Too bad telescopes are my only friends…
Palmer could not remember when his obsession with outer space had truly begun. However, he considered it most telling, indeed, that his earliest memory consisted of nothing but a star filled sky and his mother's voice as she methodically named the constellations. Orion. Gemini. Andromeda. Ursa. So many wonderful names. How he had longed to see them up close and personal.
"And I'm not gonna say I won't see them," Palmer murmured. "Because someday, I'm gonna be the first man in space! Yeah… we're gonna name the rocket Myrtle, 'cause of Mom and all… man oh man, I really hope she's there to see it!" As Palmer shifted his hand for a better grip on the telescope under his arm, his fingers brushed across something small and… vaguely paper-y. Blinking, Palmer removed his eye from the telescope to investigate. Hm. Indeed, it was a piece of paper. And a sticky note, no less.
"That's funny. What's that doing here?" The engineer wondered as smoothed the note out for a better look. "Dear Palmer," he read. "This is a note from yourself. Do NOT do NOT do NOT DO NOT DO NOT – wow that's a lot of do-nots! – Do NOT forget that you have an engineering meeting today at four-thirty p.m. in the little room with the red carpet on floor forty-one. Sincerely, yourself. Oh, well, that's alright," Palmer smiled as he put the telescope up. "Because I remembered, and I left myself plenty of time! According to my watch (which I set fifteen minutes ahead in anticipation for this!) it is now…" Palmer blinked. "Five thirty?" Hm. If his watch was only fifteen minutes ahead, then that means it's…" His blue eyes bulged. "It's FIVE-FIFTEEN?!? AAAAH! I have to go… I have to go!"
It wasn't until he was safely in the elevator and roaring down to the forty-first floor that Palmer remembered something important.
"Oh no!! Copernicus, we gotta go back for the doughnuts!"
~*~
"And in conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, let me just say –"Jonathan Shinra scowled as the conference room doors exploded open. "Glad you could join us, Palmer." He snorted as the lanky blond scurried into the room with…of all things, a box of doughnuts and a telescope.
Dear god, Shinra rolled his eyes. If I decided to shoot him now, would you really damn me to hell? And if yes, would it still be worth it?
"Hey hey!" Palmer greeted the room with a mighty wave and several engineers ducked to avoid being hit by his telescope. "Hey, President Shinra! Sorry I'm late!" He laughed self-consciously. "I guess I kinda just lost track of time, you know?"
"Believe me, I know all too well," Shinra huffed. "Now… Palmer, stop giggling and sit down! We can deal with your doughnuts after the meeting!"
"Oh… sorry," the young man pulled his hands from the doughnut box as if it had burnt him and overturned it in his haste. As doughnuts scattered over the blueprints, Palmer blushed and took his seat. "Sorry," he whispered, humiliated.
Shooting Palmer the dirtiest look his frayed nerves could muster, Shinra returned to the engineers. "As I was saying, ladies and gentlemen, as the Midgar Project is progressing quite ahead of schedule, I believe we have time to tour the construction site today."
"Ohh!" Palmer cried through a mouthful of spilled doughnuts. "Road trip! Road trip! Tra la la!"
Shinra visibly shuddered that time. Yes, I believe it would be. "If you will all follow me…"
Hot dog! And here he'd thought this would be another boring meeting! Palmer leaped up so quickly he overturned the chair. "Are we gonna take a bus or something?" he asked from the floor.
"Palmer…" Complement in public, criticize in private… complement in public, criticize in private…complement in public… "Actually, the site is relatively close to the building. So we'll be walking, Palmer."
"Awww," the engineer pouted as he hopped to his feet. "I like busses. The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round…"
"Yes, thank you, Palmer. Please save the serenade for later. Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you'll just follow me."
As the engineers filed out of the conference room, Palmer snatched up his telescope. "Hey hey! Wait for me, you guys."
(End Part Two)