Disclaimer: Same as always. None of these characters belong to me. I am merely borrowing them for the purpose of this fic.

A/N: I really cannot believe that I am posting this…I hate this chapter like I hate a certain boy in my grade… I think it's the worst, but I guess I'll just wait for feedback.

I hate it. x_x

And of course, thanks to all of you who have reviewed so far! You guys are really the best ^_^

Yet another note… I'll be gone on vacation for a while until Saturday night, so I won't be posting any updates until possibly next Sunday. Plus, got to study for stupid SATs -_- Just drop a review hopefully before I leave, to make my day happier!

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There was an uncomfortable silence, and then Kenshin stood up. "Forgive me, but I do not feel hungry tonight." He bowed to his friends and slid a screen open to the outdoors, disappearing through it.

Kaoru sat with head bowed, hands clenched tightly at her sides. "No…" she whispered. "No, no, no, no, no." It was happening again. He was leaving. Leaving them. Leaving her. Just when things seemed to be looking up for their family at the dojo. No. "NO!" she yelled, and sprang to her feet. She ran outside in the direction Kenshin had taken, leaving Sano, Megumi and Yahiko to stare openmouthed at the empty spaces left by the other two.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru called out into the night. The darkness enveloped the courtyard of the dojo, moon casting a sick light upon everything. "Kenshin!" she called again, more weakly this time. She pattered down the steps and made a mad circle around the yard. Kaoru peered into trees, looked behind bushes, and even checked the dojo wall. She turned to look at the roof, but he was not there either. He could not have actually left now, could he? No. It was impossible. Oh please, Kenshin, don't do this, she thought desperately to herself.

Kenshin…Ken...shin… she fell upon her knees much as she did the night he left to fight Shishio, and wept crystalline tears. Her slim body shook, and still the tears fell, shimmering pools collecting at her feet.

"Don't cry, Miss Kaoru, please don't," a hand touched her back lightly.

Kaoru shuddered, and then dared to whisper, "You haven't left yet?"

"I would not do so without saying good-bye. You know that," he told her and kneeled beside her. "Miss Kaoru?"

She looked up into his sad face, and trembled, "Please don't go, Kenshin. Don't." She clutched at his gi and brought her face closer to his in urgency, "Don't leave like you did last time. Not again." She fell to crying again, hands still embedded in his clothing, but face turned away.

He pulled her closely to him, and held her tightly while she wept. Kenshin rocked her back and forth gently, and she easily collapsed against him. He ran a hand gently through her hair, whispering soft words of comfort until she finally quieted and had the strength to look back up at him.

"Why?" she finally asked. "Why is it that whenever I begin to believe that you will always stay with me, that you are ripped away again? And it's usually by that despicable Saitou," she muttered in a disgusted afterthought, trying to mask her grief by a stab at the policeman.

Kenshin smiled, "You know I would not leave if I did not have to. But this is important to me, Miss Kaoru."

She couldn't resist being selfish, "But what about me?"

He sighed, "I don't want to leave you - ."

"Then DON'T!" She pulled away and screamed the last word. "What's so important that you're going to go off on your own again?! Are you really that miserable here?" She stood up and began pacing around Kenshin, who was still sitting on the ground. "I try, and I try, and then you still leave!"

Kenshin looked at the ground, "I am not leaving for good, Miss Kaoru. I may not even have to leave Tokyo. It will be the same as the time I protected against Jin-Ei."

"Exactly!" Kaoru swiveled around on her heel. "Don't you see? It will be the same! It-." Here she broke off and clapped a hand over her mouth. "Just the same…" she whispered again, finally. "Except you will leave. And there will be no one left to save you."

He stared at her.

She spread her hands in submission. "Leave if you want to. I know I won't be able to stop you." Kaoru turned her back on him and made as if to walk back to the dojo alone.

"Kaoru." His voice alone stopped her, free of honorific in a rare moment. His tone was low and commanding, unlike the polite indifference he usually assumed.

Kaoru stopped walking and breathed in the warm night air deeply.

"I never said I was unhappy here. And in truth, I am not, but there are things that I must do. However happy I wish to become, I cannot do so without first atoning in the ways I see best. Forgive me, but I wish you could understand why I do this."

She turned back around to face him. Slowly.

His eyes were earnest and his face pleading. "I wish I did not make you so unhappy, Milady."

Kaoru blinked and drew her breath in rapidly, heart racing. "You don't make me unhappy, Kenshin."

"Then allow me to go," he said in reply.

She lowered her lashes, gaze fixed upon the ground. "It is  not for me to say what you should and should not do."

"If only I could leave with your blessing," a firefly drifted between them, casting an eerie, green glow upon his fair face.

Kaoru reached out for the firefly and captured it in her fist. The tiny thing flitted about, trying to be freed, until Kenshin gently pried her fingers open to release the creature. She held on to his hand, "I will wait for you," she promised, at last. Defeat was etched in all her features, but she was determined not to let more of it show. She would be strong. She would survive.

He smiled and pulled her closely to him. "Thank you."

Kaoru sighed and relaxed in his arms, content for the time being. Her voice muffled, she muttered, "But you had better make my wait worth the while, Himura Kenshin," she warned. "Or I'll make you pay dearly."

He laughed, and gently ran a hand through her dark hair, stopping only when he sensed her stiffen.

"Please. Don't stop," she closed her eyes and burrowed further against him. If this was the only time Kenshin would allow his feelings for her to show, then she would take it and revel in the moment. When his fingers resumed their journey through the midnight river of her hair, she only felt safer and happier with each passing second.

"Perhaps we should return to the others," Kenshin told her softly, resting his chin upon her head.

Kaoru shook her head slightly, "Just a little longer," she whispered, settling closer. Another firefly floated by them, hovering for a moment in the brisk, night air. Kaoru opened one tired eye, "These silly things. Always around whenever you're leaving me," she tried to ensnare the animal once again.

Kenshin stopped her, "But they are beautiful." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

"When must you go?" she suddenly asked, tilting her face up to look at him.

"Saitou awaits my word tomorrow."

In response, she only held on to him more tightly.

Kenshin started to walk back inside, pulling her with him. He could not see her face, but she walked obligingly beside, holding on to him. On the threshold, Kenshin gently made her face him and hesitantly kissed her tears away. She smiled slightly, then pulled away, stepping inside the dojo and brushing past Yahiko, Sano and Megumi in one smooth move.

"Busu?" Yahiko called after her.

Megumi slapped him gently on the cheek, telling him that this was neither the time nor place for such snide remarks. Sano was silent, but stood up and passed through the dojo doors outside in search of Kenshin.

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"I knew I would find you sitting up here," Sano remarked, easing his long legs out before him so he could settle out comfortably on the roof of the dojo.

The man sitting beside him smiled, staring out over treetops. "It helps me to sort my thoughts."

"I don't know, Kenshin," Sano shifted with a grimace. "This place seems pretty darn uncomfortable to me."

Kenshin shrugged indifferently.

"I'm not exactly one to make small talk, so just tell me why you're breaking Jou-chan's heart again," he picked at his teeth with a reed. "Or are you just too dense to have noticed she cares?"

"She cares too much for one as unworthy as I." Kenshin straightened his back, easing an ache from his shoulders, "But she promised to wait for me."

"Humph. Girl's certainly got it bad for you. But as long as you two have come to an understanding of sorts, I suppose it's all right." He kicked at a loose tile on the top of the roof, dislodging it and sending the thing clattering to the ground. "Oops."

"Sano!" Kenshin leaned forward to inspect where the tile had shattered into many tiny fragments on the ground. "Miss Kaoru is not going to be happy about having to replace that."

"If you weren't leaving on a whim of Saitou's, then you could do it for her yourself," Sano slapped Kenshin's back roughly, "Idiot."

"Oro!" Kenshin slipped, tightening his hold on the roof to prevent himself from falling to the ground after the tile.

Sano laughed, "You deserved that. So tell me what's so important that you're leaving all of us behind again?"

"Saitou asked for my help in guarding the diplomat arriving in two days time to Japan."

"That's it?" Sano looked scandalized, "So why'd you make everything seem so dramatic when you said, 'I'm leaving,'? If it's just a job here in Tokyo, then I really don't see the problem."

"It's a bit more complicated than that," Kenshin muttered.

"Enlighten me."

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"Ouch." Was Sano's only comment when Kenshin relayed what Saitou had told him earlier. "Major ouch. Murders are a nasty little business."

"Yes, that they are," Kenshin said quietly.

"So she knows why you're going?"

"No."

"You didn't tell her?!" Sano accidentally swallowed his reed and choked. Recovering, "She must be one hell of a woman, if she puts up with this kind of crap from you."

"Oro?"

He shook his head, "Stop making that irritating sound, and just listen to reason for once. She loves you, you love her, so why can't you two just love each other openly and settle down together? Why make things so complicated with all this 'atoning' business?"

Kenshin looked a bit shocked at this as if it were all too much coming much too fast at him from a sudden direction. He had had no idea that the others were picking up on his and Kaoru's feelings…well, then again, he might have guessed.

"Blockhead," Sano hit Kenshin again. "If this all is really that important to you, then hurry up and go. But I'm just warning you that gems like Kamiya Kaoru eventually might not be around for the likes of you if you dawdle long enough."

Had Sano just called Kaoru a 'gem'? Kenshin wasn't sure he had heard right, but he nodded and tilted his head back to look at the stars again.

"I'm not sure if I just got through to you, but I hope that someday you'll take the words of a stupid streetfighter to heart." Sano stood up and stretched, "Now I'm getting off this thing before I fall to my death. 'Night, Kenshin."

"You too, Sano."

Left alone, Kenshin wondered at how Sano had figured things out so quickly between himself and Kaoru. Surely they weren't that obvious – he had done his best to hide his feelings for Kaoru during his stay at the dojo. Only at certain times did he allow them to show, thinking that those brief moments would be better for the two of them, then trying for something more. Had he been wrong? Was he only hurting Kaoru more by sometimes admitting his feelings, and other times pretending they weren't there at all?

It was times like these that Kenshin wished he had Hiko around to advise him on what to do. The towering man would just grunt his disapproval, call Kenshin a stupid pupil, and then proceed to give him sensible and down-to-earth advice. Hiko didn't mess around at all – got straight to the point, and he spoke what he thought. Sometimes Kenshin didn't find his words helpful at all, but then there were others when he sorely missed the dry and sensible commentary that his Master would drop on his head.

"Master?"

"Hm?" Hiko grunted, looking up from the book he had been reading, sake in hand.

Kenshin kicked at a pebble on the ground, clasping his hands humbly behind his back. "I need your advice," he finally said, glancing  hesitantly at the older man.

Hiko looked mildly amused, dark eyes dancing, "You need advice, do you? Well, from the look in your eye, I'd say it was trouble with girls. What, are they mistaking you for one of them again?"

"MASTER!"

Chuckling, Hiko took a sip from his sake. "All right then, what is it?"

Kenshin scratched the back of his head for a moment, "Well, it does concern someone I love very much - ."

"Don't get all mushy on me," the man warned.

"It's about Kaoru," Kenshin went on, choosing to ignore the last most uncalled for remark. He kneeled on the ground at his master's feet. "I need to leave her again, but I don't know how much it's really hurting her."

"Have you tried talking to her?" Hiko looked disinterested and returned his attention to the book.

Kenshin snatched it away, "Of course I have!"

With a lightning-quick movement, Hiko took the book back. "There's no need for violence, you stupid pupil." He shut the book, "So what was her reaction?"

"She cried, but I told her that I would return, and she gave me her best wishes."

"Well, then, what're you worrying about?" The sake was almost all gone.

Kenshin looked slightly exasperated, "Am I doing the right thing or not?!"

"Is it important that you go?"

"Yes."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Does she love you?"

"I don't  know…"

"Does she love you?"

"Well…"

"Idiot! Of course she does!"

"Yes, Master."

"And she's letting you go with the promise that you'll come back."

"Yes."

"And will you?"

"What?"

"Come back?"

"Well…"

"Fool! I'm running out of derogatory nouns to associate you with!"

"I gave her my word."

"Well, then, problem solved. As long as you stay true to that word, then go off and rediscover yourself. Or whatever it is you're doing these days…" Hiko turned the flask of sake upside down and stuck his lower lip out, "Damn…out already…"

Kenshin frowned, "But it's not in my power to say for sure. Anything could happen such as me dying at any moment to prevent me from fulfilling that promise."

"Imbecile."

"Oro?"

"Everything is in your hands," Hiko told him, corking the empty flask. "The only thing you can control in this world is your own fate. Don't listen to what others tell you – it's all in your hands if you've got a strong enough will."

Kenshin blearily opened one eye and found himself sprawled out on the dojo roof. Had he fallen asleep? That had been a most interesting dream… Well, at least it seemed that he had gotten some questions answered, albeit in a most roundabout manner.

The sky was still pitch-black with the stars glinting down on him most welcomingly. Yet, it seemed almost as if they were telling him goodbye. As if he would not see them from this place for a long time, yet to come.

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A/N: *retches into mental toilet* I really don't know what inspired me to write the above piece of crap. I still can't put my finger on what irritates me so much about this chapter.

Anyone, any ideas to help me out?