Authors Note: I've had a few people comment hoping Miroku wasn't dead, or asking me if I could bring him back… now why would I want to bring him back when we have such a nice character torture plot going on here? Lol Keep reading…maybe you'll get a few answers at last… then again considering the way things have been going so far I'd go with more questions than answers. *Will stop babbling now and get to the story.*

Chapter Four

Unexpected Arival

Sango leaned back against the wall of her only sanctuary, absent mindedly fingering the rosaries hung around her neck and hidden, not all that discretely, under her cloths. She'd never planned to remove them from her wrist, but her friends, who'd offered her reassurance and hope when she told them of the sad occurrence during their small separation, had accused her of clinging to the past too long. She'd gotten lecture after lecture from Kagome, Inuyasha, and even Shippo about how not letting go of the dead can have disastrous consequences.

Dead. It had been five years now. There had been many lonely days, dreams of denial, and outright despair, but she'd finally admitted it to herself. She looked down at the beads she was now clutching. Miroku was dead… and she would never see him again… She loved her friends dearly… they were like her second family, and Kaede's village was her second home… but couldn't they see… couldn't they understand that this was not something you just let go? Miroku would always be a part of her… And when he died… every part of her life the had him connected with it… died too…

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall. These thoughts were daily and painful, but … that was her life now. Despite the peace that she'd once felt at Kaede's village, in the company of her dearest friends, that time in her life had also passed. They just… reminded her too much of Miroku…

She'd stayed with them a year before they started nagging her about the rosary on her hand… another two years with the rosary under her shirt before they defeated Naraku… Kamie he was finally dead! Everyone had been avenged and those who remained could finally move on… At least most of them could….

It wasn't three days after the battle that Sango noticed a not so suspicious mark on Kagome's neck. She'd spent her life studying demons and she knew when she saw the mark of a mate. She stayed for three months in the village after that. Seeing her friends happy gave her the closest thing she'd felt to peace in a long time… But she just couldn't stay… everywhere she looked there were memories… memories that she just couldn't deal with… She'd packed up almost immediately, knowing her destination almost before she'd decided to go… Kagome, her friend as good as sister, had begged her to stay, but she couldn't understand. Sango had persisted, and after morning goodbyes and a promise to visit she was off. Never forgetting the sharp pang of jealousy that ran through her whenever Kagome and Inuyasha showed affection… It was a special bond she'd always wanted… but could never have… Now, when it was too late to do anything, she realized all the emotions she'd foolishly surprised during her journey. Miroku… she loved him… probably always would…

She forcibly shook off her thoughts. She'd promised herself she wouldn't ever let them consume her. She'd found her own form of peace with the situation, and could finally live out her life in peace. On the very mountain where Miroku had left her forever… It hadn't taken quite that long to reach it and, luckily, Yume and Kento seemed only to happy to see her again… It was a bit odd… considering they'd only briefly met her once, but she'd pushed that thought aside, telling herself they must have heard of her friends battle with Naraku and be proud to house a hero…

Sango pushed off from the wall she'd been leaning against and began to walk aimlessly around the temple… Yume and Kento had become very close friends of hers. They'd never questioned her past, although they must have been curious, and she thanked them for not forcing such painful memories upon her. Then again… she did think about them almost every day. The temple was a good place for such things though. It was very peaceful and serene. It was a good place to make peace with such horrible pasts… And everyday it was easier to live with what had happened. The pain never lessened or went away, but she was at peace with it being a part of her, and that was all she could hope for…

"Hello Sango," said Yume as she passed her with a basket full of vegetables for supper. "Going to the western well?" Sango smiled with her pain and simply nodded. Yume wished her well and continued with what she was doing. She was almost to the kitchen when she found herself cornered by Kento… She readjusted her grip on the basket she'd been carrying and sighed. Sango had been a sore spot in their rather odd relationship that, in some abstract way, exceeded the boundaries of body guard and mistress.

"I can't take this anymore!" He hissed at her. "It took her three years to defeat Naraku and come here like you said, she's been here for three years like you said, and her pain still hasn't stopped. You tell me she's at peace with it, but every time I look at her I know that isn't true! She's still hurting, and if you won't do something to stop it I will!"

He was about to storm off after Sango when Yume's words stopped him. "Ian… you can't save everyone…" He spun around, somehow forced to hear her silently at the sound of his real name. "You western people think of peace in such a strange way. You think of peace as ignoring or destroying everything inside you that causes pain… You just refuse to acknowledge that it's a permanent part of life. You don't forget about it, you don't ignore it, you accept it. And right now she's accepted it. That's why she needs our friendship now more than ever… tonight is the new year… tonight is when, as you think it, her pain will end… and really her struggle is only beginning." She paused for a moment to let her words sink in before she continued, "When it begins tonight, whatever peace she had will shatter, and she will be in more chaos than before. Things will stay that way until she's not afraid anymore. It's not an easy process, but it is what has to happen… I'm sorry you can't see that…"

With that Yume turned away and headed back into the kitchen. Kento… Ian just stood there for a moment, cursing himself that what she said was true. This temple was for finding peace, and it was something everyone here was struggling with. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Why did she always have to be right?

~~~

The shrubbery surrounding the gravesite seemed to part only for Sango as she passed towards the western waterfall. She went there every night. To remember… better times… when even uncertain she would survive to the next day she'd been happier than she could've thought possible. If even for just a few hours, she could pretend she was still in that time.

She seated herself at the edge of the large crater, that had seemed to pass these last five years unchanged, and closed her eyes. She could vaguely here the tiny waterfall in the tiny waterfall in the background, the wind through the trees, only just feel the wind as her memory traveled back to the very last night they shared…

She remembered everything. His stupid rustling keeping her up late…the feel of his muscles relaxing under her fingers, and the tiny tingling sensation that'd run through her when he'd whispered her name… All the world could fade around her, and she would still have this memory… this one thing to cling to in despair's darkest light.

"Sango…"

Nani?! Her eyes flashed open to be greeted by a familiar figure in the dim light of the dying day. It.. It couldn't be…I-impossible… "M-Miroku…" she barely managed in a trembling whisper…

"Sango… Yes, it's me…"

As much as every logical sense in her body screamed that it wasn't so… she couldn't deny it… Just on the opposite side of the crater stood the only person that had occupied her thoughts for the last five years… it real was him… but… how…?

Author's Note: Ah, at long last it seems they're together again… or are they? *Dun dun dun!* lol ^_^