Author's Notes: This is only my second LOTR fic and it has yet to be
proofread by someone other than yours truly so feedback is definitely
welcome but please be kind. Like this story, I have a lot of others that
are work in progress so bear with me. The more reviews and comments I get,
the more I can write and the better the stories will be. Also, some of the
Elvish may be incorrect so I'd appreciate any help there too. This story is
a bit of a mix between book and movie-verse so there may be a few
inconsistencies as well. I call Aragorn Estel or Strider more often here
because I figured that to the Elves he is Estel as he was so named by
Elrond. But, to Shihaku and other humans he is the Ranger named Strider.
None of these characters, save for those obviously not created by the great
Tolkien, belong to me and since I am not profiting from this story don't
sue me!
"//..//" denotes Elvish dialogue
Italics denote dream sequences or flashbacks (also Elvish words)
. denotes telepathic dialogue
Synopsis: Set before the Lord of the Rings books. On a hunting trip Legolas discovers an assassination plot for Estel for some humans apparently know he is Aragorn, the true heir of Gondor. But he is betrayed by a fellow Elf and as he rushes to warn his friend, he encounters a Ranger's aid who has more secrets hidden even from the Ranger herself. Will Legolas make it to Rivendell in time to warn his friend? And even if he does, will that be enough to save Estel?
RESPONSE TO REVIEWS: Really quickly, thank you for all the reviews I've been given! I can't tell you guys how happy I am to know someone's enjoying this story! Thanks a bunch! As for the name I've decided to stick to Celesilme Ithildin just because.erm.well I'm kinda lazy to change it. Lol. I dunno, it's grown on me. Anyway also about Shihaku being a Ranger I'm hoping this chapter and the ones to follow will explain it more. Yes I know the Dunadain are Aragorn's kin, but earlier I said she was found by Rangers and so the Rangers basically raised her to be one as well. She grew close to them and, by hiding her identity as an Elf, became a Ranger as if she was of the line of Numenor. In my version of Middle Earth (at least for this story) there is little discrimination against women being fighters of any kind so it's not at all so preposterous that a female is a Ranger; rare but possible. And as I said the Rangers were going Northward and most Northern Rangers were wanderers for a time so she grew to wander all across the lands; all of Middle Earth was her home.
THE SILVER LIGHT OF A WANING MOON
By Terra Forever
CHAPTER 5: Decisions
"Forgive me Lord Elrond, but I know not what you speak of."
Then Legolas and Aragorn understood. Though unnoticeable before, now in the same room, the resemblance between Shihaku and Arwen became visible. The likeness between Elrond and the Ranger was also undeniable. If not for the dark hair of her father and of his mother before him, Shihaku resembled her mother in fairness and in beauty. Her eyes were just as brilliant a blue and her face as fair as her mother's and of Galadriel's. Truly she was the daughter of the Eldar race but not just any Elves, but of High Elves.
But Shihaku did not understand. She did not see the resemblance. To her she was the daughter of Rangers, not Elves. It would be especially impossible to be the daughter of Lord Elrond Peredhil. Elrond took a step closer and put his hand against her cheek. Shihaku looked at him questioningly though she did not make any move to get away. Her heart skipped a beat never being so close to anyone, in such a fashion, especially not Lord Elrond. Suddenly Elrond closed his eyes, capturing her in a tight embrace. Arwen found herself in tears. Legolas stood back and couldn't believe his eyes. He had been traveling with Celesilme Faelithilden all this time. Aragorn was at an equal loss of words. He had known her all his life and only now did he learn of her true history.
Shihaku was shocked and gently pulled away from Elrond trying to regain her composure but in vain. "Forgive me Lord Elrond, but I still do not understand."
Elrond took a deep breath. "My dear, you are a Ranger indeed for that is how you have been raised, but in truth, you are my daughter, Celesilme Faelithilden, long thought dead for years. You and my wife, Celebrian, your mother, were in the Misty Mountains when you were taken by Orcs. She was tortured and nearly killed had Elladan and Elrohir not been so swift to save her. Celebrian told us that she had hidden you safely in the forest but there was no trace of you anywhere. Your brothers, as they hunted Orcs, searched for you. Your dear mother held on to hope for many long years until her grief began to consume her and nearly killed her before she finally sailed over the Sea. Now we know that somehow you survived."
Shihaku took this news without showing any expression on her face. She wasn't sure if she accepted it. It seemed too surreal. Yes, she was an Elf and her history was unknown, but to be Elrond's daughter! "Please, enough!." She turned to Legolas. "Lord Elrond, my heritage is not important now. Please tend to Mirkwood's Prince." Before anyone could say a word, Shihaku bowed and walked quickly out of the room. Though it seemed that in her speed and with her grace she glided out with great speed. Legolas made a move to follow her but Elrond put a hand on his shoulder. Estel ran out instead.
Legolas looked at Elrond and then at Arwen and the twins. "She will need time," he murmured. "I do not know if she will accept it even then."
Arwen nodded and tried to smile as she walked up to him, taking his hand. "It is alright, Legolas. It is enough to know she still lives. Now come let Adar treat your wounds before you collapse and all your hard work will be for nothing." Legolas did not even bother to nod as he let Arwen lead him out of the room, Elrond leading the way.
Yet again Elrond found himself marveling at the stamina and the strength of the youth before him. Despite his injuries and his illness he was still quite able. The few times he had to treat Legolas before always made his heart beat fast for always he feared for the young Elf who has become like a son to him. Though Elrond tried hard not to play favorites, he could not deny that of Thranduil's children, he favored Legolas most. And who could blame him? This is among the worst wounds I have ever seen you with, thought the Elf Lord. You are quite the lucky one. I believe this might mean that there is something great awaiting you in your future. And what also of the future for my daughter who has returned for the dead?
As Elrond treated Legolas' wounds, even despite his blurring vision, Legolas could see the wheels in the Elf Lord's mind turning and trying to make sense of the latest news of both an attempt on his foster son's life and the return of his daughter. He was also very concerned about Legolas for he knew that his life was in danger as well even if his wounds healed for Norvelin had a great hatred for him now, he was sure. Legolas could feel the pain in his body beginning to subside, the fever breaking, and his body feeling lighter as he began to slip into a deep sleep. He wondered how upset Elrond might have been with his near death if the Elf Lord did not have to concentrate as he aided him. Legolas knew that regardless, Elrond would be more calm than his father. Oh how his father would love this bit of news. But Legolas' mind averted to more important things for his final thought was the hope that Estel was able to find Shihaku and somehow comfort her.
Outside, deep into the gardens, Estel was in no rush to find the Ranger. He knew at once that in Rivendell there were only a few places that called to each one who dwelled in the Haven. He found her by the large waterfalls, sitting on a large rock by the water. Silently he walked to her and even though she knew that he was there, she did not react for she kept her absent gaze on the view before her. A gently hand was placed on her shoulder but she barely noticed. "Shihaku."
"It cannot be true, Strider."
"Why?"
"I have lived my life as a Ranger. I cannot now return as a daughter of Elrond Peredhil!"
"Shh," Estel whispered, putting an arm around the Elf who had helped him become the Ranger he was now. He had never seen her so upset in his life. Always she had kept about her an air of calm for she was rarely ever lacking in composure. He remembered how for a long while he questioned whether or not she had emotions besides the few bouts of anger or sadness she showed when a friend or innocent being was in danger, or perhaps when a sad fate befell one who did not deserve it. Of course that was not saying much since she was so much older than he. Regardless, emotions came rarely and now an emotion she considered a sign of weakness filled her face. "I know that it seems unbelievable but trust me when I say that the resemblance between you and your family is uncanny. I do not know why I failed to see it before. I am praised for keen senses and intuition yet it completely escaped me. You really are Celesilme. I do not deny that Lord Elrond will probably ask you to stay in Imladris, but, he will not force you."
They both knew well that the biggest issue at hand was not the mere shock of her true identity, but what it required of her: to stay in one kingdom and end her travels across the lands. True she might be able to travel a few places, but it was likely, especially in these times, that she would travel short distances and rarely. Shihaku was a wanderer. It would be like asking Gandalf the Gray Pilgrim to reside in one place. "I do not know if I can choose, Strider. I grew up in the woods, in the wild, with no tie to any one land. I do not know if I can now live my life here for my heart seeks new discoveries and new challenges. Rivendell is beautiful but there is much even this haven cannot offer me."
"I am sure there will be a way for you to travel." Suddenly Estel realized that Shihaku's situation resembled his ever so slightly. Though they are Rangers for different reasons, both question their return to their rightful places as part of great kingdoms. Although it seemed he had a greater responsibility to bear upon his shoulders than she for she was the youngest after all.
Shihaku felt Strider's heart in turmoil beside her and she turned to him. "I wonder if the choices we make - are they our own, or fated by Destiny?"
"That is not for us to know, Shihaku."
"Whatever happens, never cease calling me by that name, for that is my true name always. That is who I really am. I cannot think of rejecting Lord Elrond or his children for I think that in my heart you must all speak the truth. I cannot make any true promises, I fear." What was she saying? Shihaku felt her world falling down around her. She should be happy that she has finally discovered her true self, but at the same time it meant so many great changes for her. It altered her future greatly and she feared it would be for the worse.
The young man nodded and squeezed her shoulder tightly. "I think they may understand. And do not worry about your name. I treasure it as I treasure the name you gave to me; that is always how you may refer to me, but I sense that it is not a name I will be known as for long."
"No it will not. You are Estel, Aragorn son of Arathorn. Future King of Gondor."
"Let us not think so far ahead into a future that may not be." Estel's eyes hardened for a moment but quickly softened when he smiled again. They sat there for a few hours longer. At times in silence, merely watching the world around them, Shihaku still taking in every beauty of Rivendell around her and other times they spoke about the past. Shihaku gave a full account of her travels with Legolas and Estel listened intently. From Shihaku's story, Legolas was very much just like the Elf Estel knew for his actions and words were much like the Elf and it made him happy and prou to be his friend. "He has risked much to warn me."
"Indeed. It seems you either gain the most sincere love from those around you or utmost hatred. I am not sure if that is necessarily a good thing or a bad thing." Estel gave a little smile. "But I think more than anything those who hate you fear you and are jealous of you. I find it so difficult for one to hate you unless that person was evil."
"I do not know about that, Shihaku. I have been on enough adventures to know that many people have clouded minds and they cannot tell friend from foe."
"That is the nature of life, I think. There is always a reason, I think, for things. Even Evil has a reason for existing - perhaps to ascertain the existence of Good."
"Always you think so much about these things."
"Only because you do yourself. I am merely speaking it aloud so you may have your chance to reflect, for otherwise I know you would keep your thoughts to yourself."
"I should think that would be the same for you." Estel jabbed his finger into her side and she winced a little. "Such as keeping your injuries to yourself."
"I am almost fully healed. Just being here is enough. I will be fine in the morning."
Estel looked at Shihaku's face seeing the slight scratch now on her forehead. The one on her neck was not visible but Estel would not have been surprised if he had seen it. "You did well together on such a perilous journey. Perhaps Iluvatar has been watching over you both."
"."
"Come we should return for I am sure they are waiting for you." Estel stood up and offered his hand to Shihaku who took it absently. "Do not be afraid."
"I do not want to be afraid. I know I do not fear them. but there is something else in my heart that troubles me." Shihaku's face was creased with worry again and it did not make Estel feel comforted at all. A face such as that always meant trouble of some sort would be near. I wish I had more time to decide, she thought. But we do not have any time, even as Elves.
"Shall we?" Shihaku just nodded and they walked in silence. She looked up at the darkening sky and could start to feel the stars finally able to sparkle without the sun to outshine them.
When they finally arrived in Elrond's study, he and his children awaited her. Shihaku looked at the Elf Lord. "//I cannot deny now that I must be your daughter," she began, "but I fear I cannot stay here in Imladris. my heart is with the wild.//"
Elrond nodded. "//And with the wild you may be. I am glad you have chosen to return to us even though it was a difficult choice. I cannot promise that I will not attempt to keep you here where you will be safe, but I do not doubt that you will find some way to either persuade me or you may even leave by force.//" Elrond smiled. "//You know the lands of Middle Earth well, perhaps better than many Elves twice your age; I trust in your abilities, but I still fear losing you for we have already lost you once.//" He put a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "//Oh my dear Celesilme, I know that even from afar your Mother's heart is free of pain now that you have returned to us.//"
Shihaku closed her eyes and nodded. "//I am glad.//" Hearing that alone, even though she could not remember her mother, was enough to already make her realize she did not make a mistake. There would be no regrets with this decision. Elrond wrapped his arms around her and Arwen walked to her. Shihaku pulled away from her father and turned to Arwen whose eyes were brimming with tears. "//So you are my sister, Arwen Undomeil.//"
Arwen nodded. "//These are your twin brothers, Elrohir and Elladan.//" The twins walked up to greet their sister, smiles warm and welcoming.
"//It makes us proud to see that you have grown into who you are now,//" said Elrohir. "//You gave us quite a chase those many years ago.//"
Elladan laughed and put a hand on his little sister's shoulder, its weight surprisingly soothing to her, it felt right. "//The Rangers brought you up well. Still will you hide yourself from the world?//" he spoke of the hair covering her ears. Shihaku shook her head and let out a little smile. No, she would not hide that anymore. She could not when she should be proud of whom she was. Although she could not help but admit that she often enjoyed the inability of strangers to discern her true race. She pulled at the string that held back her hair and let down her hair, brushing back the locks to show her Elven ears. "//Ah, a picture of beauty - you are most definitely our sister then.//" Elladan's comment resulted in a small round of laughter and Shihaku could not help but ignore the sudden feeling of longing. For years she lived alone without family, without knowing anything about her true self, and now, knowing what she has missed out on, she found herself longing for them, wishing they found each other long ago. Yet she did not regret her experience for her hard life has done much to teach and train her.
"//What is it that Shihaku means, little sister?" asked Elrohir. "It is not a name in a language I have ever heard of.//"
"//It means 'Waning Moon,'//" Shihaku replied.
Elrond closed his eyes. He knew well what his daughter's name meant and knew too the different connotations it could take when written out. "It is a fitting name. I am sure many servants of evil saw their demise because of your great strength and qualities.
Shihaku turned to her father and nodded. She saw that he knew what her name implied by the way he looked at her, the way his eyes pierced through her as if reading her. Shihaku sighed. "//Do not worry father, that is a name that will not be spoken here. I am Celesilme.//"
Elrond smiled. "//Thank you daughter for this generosity. I know that your name means much to you. You are welcome to go by the name of Shihaku but I do think that, at least among the higher Elves, your name must remain Celesilme Faelithilden. Always, to those of us who know the truth, you shall always be both.//"
Estel smiled. "//Now I shall not be the only one in this house with so many names.//" They could not resist the smiles that tugged at their lips.
"//Come, Celesilme,//" said Arwen, taking her sister's hand. "//There will most likely be a feast soon to announce your arrival. We must prepare a room and clothing for you!//"
Shihaku looked terrified at her sister. "//La-sister, I am a Ranger ill fit for such an occasion.//"
Estel felt relieved that he was generally well prepared for any great festivities. Though Elven occasions differed slightly from the one of Men, they required similar ethics. "I//t will not be too hard, Shihaku. After all, you are a Ranger. Do not tell me that a feast will be more challenging than a band of Orcs or Trolls.//"
Shihaku gave Estel a look. "I would welcome that band any time, Strider!"
"At times, as would I," admitted the heir of Gondor.
Shihaku's face darkened and suddenly she remembered someone she couldn't believe she had forgotten. "What of Legolas?" For a moment, her face was crossed with fear when she asked her question; a sight not missed by any.
"He sleeps soundly, Celesilme," said Elrond, his voice kind and gentle. A smile was still on his lips and wondered what it was that sparkled in his daughter's eyes. "//He will be well soon. The poison is not unknown to me but a rare one. There is no fear for him. Go now and make ready. Though we shall have the feast later when the Prince of Mirkwood is healed, we shall have a dinner for the family.//"
Arwen quickly pulled Shihaku with her and the two left the room. Elrond took a deep breath and sighed. "//For a Father who has just been reunited with his daughter, you seem more exhausted than joyful,//" noted Estel.
"//It is not that I am not happy to see her, Estel, but it is just after so long. I feel as if my world has been turned upside down. I fear to lose her again.//"
"Can you imagine how much worse it is upon her?" Elrond looked at Estel who spoke with a melancholy voice and a small silence filled the room.
Elladan and Elrohir were still in shock as well. Estel's words made them realize that they must do what they could to make sure their sister truly did not regret her decision. "//You know Adar, whatever happens to her is not entirely up to us to decide,//" said Elrohir. "//But I know she will stay awhile yet. I saw how Imladris has caught her heart.//"
"Aye," nodded Estel. I think there is something else, rather someone else who has caught it as well, he thought with a smile. "//She has always looked at Imladris from afar yet never dared venture into its borders because of a sadness she felt.//"
"//She must have felt the sadness of our people still mourning for her. Though we have spoken little of her after Celebrian sailed to the Undying Lands, everyone here still mourns her,//" mused Elrond. "Celebrian lost heart believing her daughter gone. I truly do hope that somehow she will find some peace now, especially in Valinor."
It did not take too long before Arwen and Shihaku finally found a room that would be perfect for her. Using all their skills, the two somehow managed to find and prepare the room without alerting anyone else. After finding some clothing for her, they began to arrange the room to better fit the Princess. "You will be like Estel, will you not, Celesilme?" asked Arwen suddenly, looking at her sister.
Shihaku turned to Arwen and knew well what her sister spoke of: Estel's constant traveling which kept them apart more often than either would like. "I will stay here more often than not, so do not worry, Arwen, but I will leave when I can or must. I cannot live in one place alone. It is not in me. I ask that you and everyone else understand that."
Arwen nodded. "I wonder how Estel will be when he is King. He will no longer be free to wander as he does now."
Shihaku smiled. "He does not wish to admit that one day he may have to return to his place as heir to the Throne of Gondor. But in the end, it is not really for anyone to decide but himself. although I have a feeling the Valar have a hand in all of this as well."
"You know, you chose to return to us."
Shihaku nodded slowly. "It was only right. And the circumstances are much more difficult for him. If you saw what Estel would rule over, it is not entirely comforting for the race of men, though it is now becoming their age, is still weak."
"//You do know that there will come a time when you will either have to travel to the Gray Havens with Adar, or remain here either to fade away or die as a mortal.//" Arwen looked worriedly at her sister, her hand suddenly covering Shihaku's. What would her sister choose? Would she lose her anyway despite their reunion? Perhaps. after all, her heart had made her feel, on more than one occasion, that she should live here with the one she loved.
"//I know. It was a decision I would have had to make eventually and I thought that I would eventually die a mortal here or fade away as more Humans thrived for I had no reason to travel West. But now.//"
"//You have a family, a people.//"
Shihaku did not speak right away. She thought about the new question that would eventually be placed before her. What would she choose? What does her heart tell her? Surely she could not just leave these lands so easily? "//Do you know what Legolas would choose then?//" Shihaku asked, trying to be nonchalant.
Arwen did not miss a beat; she would save this for later. "//I do not know. The people of Mirkwood have been known to stay here and choose to fade while others have been called to the sea. Perhaps one day the Sea will call for him as it does to our people.//"
Shihaku nodded. She wonderd if the Sea was really that strong to pull her away from her beloved Middle Earth. She still had so much to see. For beyond Middle Earth there were other lands. Sure they may be dangerous and filled with savage peoples, but she needed to explore! "//And you?//"
"//I do not yet know.//"
Shihaku looked at Arwen and studied her closely. Arwen raised her hand to touch the Evenstar around her neck, a sad expression on her face. She then lifted her eyes to look at her sister. "You are thinking of Strider. Do you love him?"
Arwen closed her eyes. "That is not a decision I have yet made. He is a good man, but I do not think I am ready to decide if I care for him enough to surrender my immortality. I need more time."
"Time is not on his side." Arwen knew this all too well.
". What of you?"
"What of me?"
"Legolas."
Shihaku gave Arwen a look as if to say 'I can't believe you are thinking such a thing.' "//He is a friend, Arwen. I barely know him. He is among the few Elves I have ever known. I love the nature around me more than any one person; I much prefer the comfort of the land over that of such inconstant beings.//"
"Oh?" Arwen walked to Shihaku and looked at her. "In a sense, Celesilme, you are still young yet to make such a decision, but do not be so quick to close your heart. Legolas is a good Elf. Rangers can fall in love too."
Shihaku rolled her eyes. "Trust me I have seen it. Strider loses all his edge, danger, and mystery as a Ranger when he is around you. I think your name alone can make his eyes soften. You are quite a danger to him."
Arwen blushed a little not entirely realizing the effect she had on him, though it was hard to say her beauty did not affect anyone. "//You know, Legolas was quite concerned about you. It is as if this short journey of yours has created quite a bond.//"
"//Please, cease this, Arwen. I do not think any more of him than you might, perhaps even less. I have just met him and yes the journey has helped me get to know him more than many others I have met, but he is merely a friend.//" Sighing, Shihaku looked outside at the trees. What an absurd idea, she thought.
Arwen took a deep breath and gave up, for the time being. "Forgive me, we do have other things to worry about.such as those assassins."
"I have already thought it out, though it is for Strider and Elr-ah-Adar to decide. When Norvelin, arrives bringing whatever news, he will most likely stay here for as long as he can to gain everyone's trust just as he gained the trust of the Mirkwood Elves. It is then at a time of weakness that he and his band will strike."
"What can they gain from this treachery?"
"Who knows? Legolas told me that they wish to put another on the throne to aid them in their corrupt ways." Shihaku closed her eyes. "Or perhaps it is the line that now rules over Gondor that they wish to keep. Regardless, I fear that they are quite serious, Arwen. The band we fought with was rather small but I think there to be much more of them lurking closer toward Imladris. Legolas will remain out of sight but everyone shall make it seem as if we have not heard from him or the Ranger Shihaku. They have not yet seen my face and even then I will seem different as a daughter of Elrond Peredhil for they think me only to be a Ranger."
Arwen nodded. "We shall make them believe they have the upper hand and strike when they are weakest. Adar and Estel will agree I think. But I doubt Legolas will be happy to hide day and night."
"He will have his chance. He yearns for Norvelin's blood. I too would like a stake in his death." Shihaku clutched a candle stand tightly, her knuckles turning white.
"//This bitterness is unbecoming of a Lady,//" Arwen shook her head teasingly.
"//Oh? And who are you to tell me of being ladylike when you are prancing around in the gardens with Strider?//"
Arwen knew well what her sister implied and gave her a look. "//We do not prance around like that.//"
"Oh?"
"//Oh stop. You know, Celesilme, from the stories Estel has told me of Shihaku the Ranger, it is uncharacteristic of you to jest so lowly.//"
"//You seem far from the high, outstanding Fair Maiden Evenstar that Strider has spoken of,//" countered Shihaku. "Besides, whatever Strider has told you, he has obviously forgotten the wit I have. I do not mean to boast, Arwen, but I pride myself in my cunning."
Arwen nodded. "I know. For while Estel has his own talent at it, you have taught him much."
"What has he told you about me?" Arwen could only laugh and Shihaku wondered if that was a good or bad thing.
-----------------
Welp, there it is. I know boring, boring- no action yet. It'll get interesting again soon. assuming it was ever really interesting in the first place hehehe. I'm hoping that from this chapter and the next one, you'll get more of an idea of Shihaku's past and I can sorta establish the relationship between the House of Elrond. Assuming I'm able to get my character/costume sketches for Shihaku/Celesilme and Norvelin online, would people actually be looking at them? If I can't get it up on a website but am able to scan them, would anyone want me to send them via email? I'm just curious to see if I should go through the trouble of finding a functional scanner and mooching off someone.
Oh and another poll for upcoming chapters: would you rather that Shihaku was to talk with all of her family (Elrond, Arwen, Elrohir and Elladan) at once and talk about the past together or would you rather she spent some time with each character (although I would group the twins together cause.well just cause). Thanks!
"//..//" denotes Elvish dialogue
Italics denote dream sequences or flashbacks (also Elvish words)
. denotes telepathic dialogue
Synopsis: Set before the Lord of the Rings books. On a hunting trip Legolas discovers an assassination plot for Estel for some humans apparently know he is Aragorn, the true heir of Gondor. But he is betrayed by a fellow Elf and as he rushes to warn his friend, he encounters a Ranger's aid who has more secrets hidden even from the Ranger herself. Will Legolas make it to Rivendell in time to warn his friend? And even if he does, will that be enough to save Estel?
RESPONSE TO REVIEWS: Really quickly, thank you for all the reviews I've been given! I can't tell you guys how happy I am to know someone's enjoying this story! Thanks a bunch! As for the name I've decided to stick to Celesilme Ithildin just because.erm.well I'm kinda lazy to change it. Lol. I dunno, it's grown on me. Anyway also about Shihaku being a Ranger I'm hoping this chapter and the ones to follow will explain it more. Yes I know the Dunadain are Aragorn's kin, but earlier I said she was found by Rangers and so the Rangers basically raised her to be one as well. She grew close to them and, by hiding her identity as an Elf, became a Ranger as if she was of the line of Numenor. In my version of Middle Earth (at least for this story) there is little discrimination against women being fighters of any kind so it's not at all so preposterous that a female is a Ranger; rare but possible. And as I said the Rangers were going Northward and most Northern Rangers were wanderers for a time so she grew to wander all across the lands; all of Middle Earth was her home.
THE SILVER LIGHT OF A WANING MOON
By Terra Forever
CHAPTER 5: Decisions
"Forgive me Lord Elrond, but I know not what you speak of."
Then Legolas and Aragorn understood. Though unnoticeable before, now in the same room, the resemblance between Shihaku and Arwen became visible. The likeness between Elrond and the Ranger was also undeniable. If not for the dark hair of her father and of his mother before him, Shihaku resembled her mother in fairness and in beauty. Her eyes were just as brilliant a blue and her face as fair as her mother's and of Galadriel's. Truly she was the daughter of the Eldar race but not just any Elves, but of High Elves.
But Shihaku did not understand. She did not see the resemblance. To her she was the daughter of Rangers, not Elves. It would be especially impossible to be the daughter of Lord Elrond Peredhil. Elrond took a step closer and put his hand against her cheek. Shihaku looked at him questioningly though she did not make any move to get away. Her heart skipped a beat never being so close to anyone, in such a fashion, especially not Lord Elrond. Suddenly Elrond closed his eyes, capturing her in a tight embrace. Arwen found herself in tears. Legolas stood back and couldn't believe his eyes. He had been traveling with Celesilme Faelithilden all this time. Aragorn was at an equal loss of words. He had known her all his life and only now did he learn of her true history.
Shihaku was shocked and gently pulled away from Elrond trying to regain her composure but in vain. "Forgive me Lord Elrond, but I still do not understand."
Elrond took a deep breath. "My dear, you are a Ranger indeed for that is how you have been raised, but in truth, you are my daughter, Celesilme Faelithilden, long thought dead for years. You and my wife, Celebrian, your mother, were in the Misty Mountains when you were taken by Orcs. She was tortured and nearly killed had Elladan and Elrohir not been so swift to save her. Celebrian told us that she had hidden you safely in the forest but there was no trace of you anywhere. Your brothers, as they hunted Orcs, searched for you. Your dear mother held on to hope for many long years until her grief began to consume her and nearly killed her before she finally sailed over the Sea. Now we know that somehow you survived."
Shihaku took this news without showing any expression on her face. She wasn't sure if she accepted it. It seemed too surreal. Yes, she was an Elf and her history was unknown, but to be Elrond's daughter! "Please, enough!." She turned to Legolas. "Lord Elrond, my heritage is not important now. Please tend to Mirkwood's Prince." Before anyone could say a word, Shihaku bowed and walked quickly out of the room. Though it seemed that in her speed and with her grace she glided out with great speed. Legolas made a move to follow her but Elrond put a hand on his shoulder. Estel ran out instead.
Legolas looked at Elrond and then at Arwen and the twins. "She will need time," he murmured. "I do not know if she will accept it even then."
Arwen nodded and tried to smile as she walked up to him, taking his hand. "It is alright, Legolas. It is enough to know she still lives. Now come let Adar treat your wounds before you collapse and all your hard work will be for nothing." Legolas did not even bother to nod as he let Arwen lead him out of the room, Elrond leading the way.
Yet again Elrond found himself marveling at the stamina and the strength of the youth before him. Despite his injuries and his illness he was still quite able. The few times he had to treat Legolas before always made his heart beat fast for always he feared for the young Elf who has become like a son to him. Though Elrond tried hard not to play favorites, he could not deny that of Thranduil's children, he favored Legolas most. And who could blame him? This is among the worst wounds I have ever seen you with, thought the Elf Lord. You are quite the lucky one. I believe this might mean that there is something great awaiting you in your future. And what also of the future for my daughter who has returned for the dead?
As Elrond treated Legolas' wounds, even despite his blurring vision, Legolas could see the wheels in the Elf Lord's mind turning and trying to make sense of the latest news of both an attempt on his foster son's life and the return of his daughter. He was also very concerned about Legolas for he knew that his life was in danger as well even if his wounds healed for Norvelin had a great hatred for him now, he was sure. Legolas could feel the pain in his body beginning to subside, the fever breaking, and his body feeling lighter as he began to slip into a deep sleep. He wondered how upset Elrond might have been with his near death if the Elf Lord did not have to concentrate as he aided him. Legolas knew that regardless, Elrond would be more calm than his father. Oh how his father would love this bit of news. But Legolas' mind averted to more important things for his final thought was the hope that Estel was able to find Shihaku and somehow comfort her.
Outside, deep into the gardens, Estel was in no rush to find the Ranger. He knew at once that in Rivendell there were only a few places that called to each one who dwelled in the Haven. He found her by the large waterfalls, sitting on a large rock by the water. Silently he walked to her and even though she knew that he was there, she did not react for she kept her absent gaze on the view before her. A gently hand was placed on her shoulder but she barely noticed. "Shihaku."
"It cannot be true, Strider."
"Why?"
"I have lived my life as a Ranger. I cannot now return as a daughter of Elrond Peredhil!"
"Shh," Estel whispered, putting an arm around the Elf who had helped him become the Ranger he was now. He had never seen her so upset in his life. Always she had kept about her an air of calm for she was rarely ever lacking in composure. He remembered how for a long while he questioned whether or not she had emotions besides the few bouts of anger or sadness she showed when a friend or innocent being was in danger, or perhaps when a sad fate befell one who did not deserve it. Of course that was not saying much since she was so much older than he. Regardless, emotions came rarely and now an emotion she considered a sign of weakness filled her face. "I know that it seems unbelievable but trust me when I say that the resemblance between you and your family is uncanny. I do not know why I failed to see it before. I am praised for keen senses and intuition yet it completely escaped me. You really are Celesilme. I do not deny that Lord Elrond will probably ask you to stay in Imladris, but, he will not force you."
They both knew well that the biggest issue at hand was not the mere shock of her true identity, but what it required of her: to stay in one kingdom and end her travels across the lands. True she might be able to travel a few places, but it was likely, especially in these times, that she would travel short distances and rarely. Shihaku was a wanderer. It would be like asking Gandalf the Gray Pilgrim to reside in one place. "I do not know if I can choose, Strider. I grew up in the woods, in the wild, with no tie to any one land. I do not know if I can now live my life here for my heart seeks new discoveries and new challenges. Rivendell is beautiful but there is much even this haven cannot offer me."
"I am sure there will be a way for you to travel." Suddenly Estel realized that Shihaku's situation resembled his ever so slightly. Though they are Rangers for different reasons, both question their return to their rightful places as part of great kingdoms. Although it seemed he had a greater responsibility to bear upon his shoulders than she for she was the youngest after all.
Shihaku felt Strider's heart in turmoil beside her and she turned to him. "I wonder if the choices we make - are they our own, or fated by Destiny?"
"That is not for us to know, Shihaku."
"Whatever happens, never cease calling me by that name, for that is my true name always. That is who I really am. I cannot think of rejecting Lord Elrond or his children for I think that in my heart you must all speak the truth. I cannot make any true promises, I fear." What was she saying? Shihaku felt her world falling down around her. She should be happy that she has finally discovered her true self, but at the same time it meant so many great changes for her. It altered her future greatly and she feared it would be for the worse.
The young man nodded and squeezed her shoulder tightly. "I think they may understand. And do not worry about your name. I treasure it as I treasure the name you gave to me; that is always how you may refer to me, but I sense that it is not a name I will be known as for long."
"No it will not. You are Estel, Aragorn son of Arathorn. Future King of Gondor."
"Let us not think so far ahead into a future that may not be." Estel's eyes hardened for a moment but quickly softened when he smiled again. They sat there for a few hours longer. At times in silence, merely watching the world around them, Shihaku still taking in every beauty of Rivendell around her and other times they spoke about the past. Shihaku gave a full account of her travels with Legolas and Estel listened intently. From Shihaku's story, Legolas was very much just like the Elf Estel knew for his actions and words were much like the Elf and it made him happy and prou to be his friend. "He has risked much to warn me."
"Indeed. It seems you either gain the most sincere love from those around you or utmost hatred. I am not sure if that is necessarily a good thing or a bad thing." Estel gave a little smile. "But I think more than anything those who hate you fear you and are jealous of you. I find it so difficult for one to hate you unless that person was evil."
"I do not know about that, Shihaku. I have been on enough adventures to know that many people have clouded minds and they cannot tell friend from foe."
"That is the nature of life, I think. There is always a reason, I think, for things. Even Evil has a reason for existing - perhaps to ascertain the existence of Good."
"Always you think so much about these things."
"Only because you do yourself. I am merely speaking it aloud so you may have your chance to reflect, for otherwise I know you would keep your thoughts to yourself."
"I should think that would be the same for you." Estel jabbed his finger into her side and she winced a little. "Such as keeping your injuries to yourself."
"I am almost fully healed. Just being here is enough. I will be fine in the morning."
Estel looked at Shihaku's face seeing the slight scratch now on her forehead. The one on her neck was not visible but Estel would not have been surprised if he had seen it. "You did well together on such a perilous journey. Perhaps Iluvatar has been watching over you both."
"."
"Come we should return for I am sure they are waiting for you." Estel stood up and offered his hand to Shihaku who took it absently. "Do not be afraid."
"I do not want to be afraid. I know I do not fear them. but there is something else in my heart that troubles me." Shihaku's face was creased with worry again and it did not make Estel feel comforted at all. A face such as that always meant trouble of some sort would be near. I wish I had more time to decide, she thought. But we do not have any time, even as Elves.
"Shall we?" Shihaku just nodded and they walked in silence. She looked up at the darkening sky and could start to feel the stars finally able to sparkle without the sun to outshine them.
When they finally arrived in Elrond's study, he and his children awaited her. Shihaku looked at the Elf Lord. "//I cannot deny now that I must be your daughter," she began, "but I fear I cannot stay here in Imladris. my heart is with the wild.//"
Elrond nodded. "//And with the wild you may be. I am glad you have chosen to return to us even though it was a difficult choice. I cannot promise that I will not attempt to keep you here where you will be safe, but I do not doubt that you will find some way to either persuade me or you may even leave by force.//" Elrond smiled. "//You know the lands of Middle Earth well, perhaps better than many Elves twice your age; I trust in your abilities, but I still fear losing you for we have already lost you once.//" He put a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "//Oh my dear Celesilme, I know that even from afar your Mother's heart is free of pain now that you have returned to us.//"
Shihaku closed her eyes and nodded. "//I am glad.//" Hearing that alone, even though she could not remember her mother, was enough to already make her realize she did not make a mistake. There would be no regrets with this decision. Elrond wrapped his arms around her and Arwen walked to her. Shihaku pulled away from her father and turned to Arwen whose eyes were brimming with tears. "//So you are my sister, Arwen Undomeil.//"
Arwen nodded. "//These are your twin brothers, Elrohir and Elladan.//" The twins walked up to greet their sister, smiles warm and welcoming.
"//It makes us proud to see that you have grown into who you are now,//" said Elrohir. "//You gave us quite a chase those many years ago.//"
Elladan laughed and put a hand on his little sister's shoulder, its weight surprisingly soothing to her, it felt right. "//The Rangers brought you up well. Still will you hide yourself from the world?//" he spoke of the hair covering her ears. Shihaku shook her head and let out a little smile. No, she would not hide that anymore. She could not when she should be proud of whom she was. Although she could not help but admit that she often enjoyed the inability of strangers to discern her true race. She pulled at the string that held back her hair and let down her hair, brushing back the locks to show her Elven ears. "//Ah, a picture of beauty - you are most definitely our sister then.//" Elladan's comment resulted in a small round of laughter and Shihaku could not help but ignore the sudden feeling of longing. For years she lived alone without family, without knowing anything about her true self, and now, knowing what she has missed out on, she found herself longing for them, wishing they found each other long ago. Yet she did not regret her experience for her hard life has done much to teach and train her.
"//What is it that Shihaku means, little sister?" asked Elrohir. "It is not a name in a language I have ever heard of.//"
"//It means 'Waning Moon,'//" Shihaku replied.
Elrond closed his eyes. He knew well what his daughter's name meant and knew too the different connotations it could take when written out. "It is a fitting name. I am sure many servants of evil saw their demise because of your great strength and qualities.
Shihaku turned to her father and nodded. She saw that he knew what her name implied by the way he looked at her, the way his eyes pierced through her as if reading her. Shihaku sighed. "//Do not worry father, that is a name that will not be spoken here. I am Celesilme.//"
Elrond smiled. "//Thank you daughter for this generosity. I know that your name means much to you. You are welcome to go by the name of Shihaku but I do think that, at least among the higher Elves, your name must remain Celesilme Faelithilden. Always, to those of us who know the truth, you shall always be both.//"
Estel smiled. "//Now I shall not be the only one in this house with so many names.//" They could not resist the smiles that tugged at their lips.
"//Come, Celesilme,//" said Arwen, taking her sister's hand. "//There will most likely be a feast soon to announce your arrival. We must prepare a room and clothing for you!//"
Shihaku looked terrified at her sister. "//La-sister, I am a Ranger ill fit for such an occasion.//"
Estel felt relieved that he was generally well prepared for any great festivities. Though Elven occasions differed slightly from the one of Men, they required similar ethics. "I//t will not be too hard, Shihaku. After all, you are a Ranger. Do not tell me that a feast will be more challenging than a band of Orcs or Trolls.//"
Shihaku gave Estel a look. "I would welcome that band any time, Strider!"
"At times, as would I," admitted the heir of Gondor.
Shihaku's face darkened and suddenly she remembered someone she couldn't believe she had forgotten. "What of Legolas?" For a moment, her face was crossed with fear when she asked her question; a sight not missed by any.
"He sleeps soundly, Celesilme," said Elrond, his voice kind and gentle. A smile was still on his lips and wondered what it was that sparkled in his daughter's eyes. "//He will be well soon. The poison is not unknown to me but a rare one. There is no fear for him. Go now and make ready. Though we shall have the feast later when the Prince of Mirkwood is healed, we shall have a dinner for the family.//"
Arwen quickly pulled Shihaku with her and the two left the room. Elrond took a deep breath and sighed. "//For a Father who has just been reunited with his daughter, you seem more exhausted than joyful,//" noted Estel.
"//It is not that I am not happy to see her, Estel, but it is just after so long. I feel as if my world has been turned upside down. I fear to lose her again.//"
"Can you imagine how much worse it is upon her?" Elrond looked at Estel who spoke with a melancholy voice and a small silence filled the room.
Elladan and Elrohir were still in shock as well. Estel's words made them realize that they must do what they could to make sure their sister truly did not regret her decision. "//You know Adar, whatever happens to her is not entirely up to us to decide,//" said Elrohir. "//But I know she will stay awhile yet. I saw how Imladris has caught her heart.//"
"Aye," nodded Estel. I think there is something else, rather someone else who has caught it as well, he thought with a smile. "//She has always looked at Imladris from afar yet never dared venture into its borders because of a sadness she felt.//"
"//She must have felt the sadness of our people still mourning for her. Though we have spoken little of her after Celebrian sailed to the Undying Lands, everyone here still mourns her,//" mused Elrond. "Celebrian lost heart believing her daughter gone. I truly do hope that somehow she will find some peace now, especially in Valinor."
It did not take too long before Arwen and Shihaku finally found a room that would be perfect for her. Using all their skills, the two somehow managed to find and prepare the room without alerting anyone else. After finding some clothing for her, they began to arrange the room to better fit the Princess. "You will be like Estel, will you not, Celesilme?" asked Arwen suddenly, looking at her sister.
Shihaku turned to Arwen and knew well what her sister spoke of: Estel's constant traveling which kept them apart more often than either would like. "I will stay here more often than not, so do not worry, Arwen, but I will leave when I can or must. I cannot live in one place alone. It is not in me. I ask that you and everyone else understand that."
Arwen nodded. "I wonder how Estel will be when he is King. He will no longer be free to wander as he does now."
Shihaku smiled. "He does not wish to admit that one day he may have to return to his place as heir to the Throne of Gondor. But in the end, it is not really for anyone to decide but himself. although I have a feeling the Valar have a hand in all of this as well."
"You know, you chose to return to us."
Shihaku nodded slowly. "It was only right. And the circumstances are much more difficult for him. If you saw what Estel would rule over, it is not entirely comforting for the race of men, though it is now becoming their age, is still weak."
"//You do know that there will come a time when you will either have to travel to the Gray Havens with Adar, or remain here either to fade away or die as a mortal.//" Arwen looked worriedly at her sister, her hand suddenly covering Shihaku's. What would her sister choose? Would she lose her anyway despite their reunion? Perhaps. after all, her heart had made her feel, on more than one occasion, that she should live here with the one she loved.
"//I know. It was a decision I would have had to make eventually and I thought that I would eventually die a mortal here or fade away as more Humans thrived for I had no reason to travel West. But now.//"
"//You have a family, a people.//"
Shihaku did not speak right away. She thought about the new question that would eventually be placed before her. What would she choose? What does her heart tell her? Surely she could not just leave these lands so easily? "//Do you know what Legolas would choose then?//" Shihaku asked, trying to be nonchalant.
Arwen did not miss a beat; she would save this for later. "//I do not know. The people of Mirkwood have been known to stay here and choose to fade while others have been called to the sea. Perhaps one day the Sea will call for him as it does to our people.//"
Shihaku nodded. She wonderd if the Sea was really that strong to pull her away from her beloved Middle Earth. She still had so much to see. For beyond Middle Earth there were other lands. Sure they may be dangerous and filled with savage peoples, but she needed to explore! "//And you?//"
"//I do not yet know.//"
Shihaku looked at Arwen and studied her closely. Arwen raised her hand to touch the Evenstar around her neck, a sad expression on her face. She then lifted her eyes to look at her sister. "You are thinking of Strider. Do you love him?"
Arwen closed her eyes. "That is not a decision I have yet made. He is a good man, but I do not think I am ready to decide if I care for him enough to surrender my immortality. I need more time."
"Time is not on his side." Arwen knew this all too well.
". What of you?"
"What of me?"
"Legolas."
Shihaku gave Arwen a look as if to say 'I can't believe you are thinking such a thing.' "//He is a friend, Arwen. I barely know him. He is among the few Elves I have ever known. I love the nature around me more than any one person; I much prefer the comfort of the land over that of such inconstant beings.//"
"Oh?" Arwen walked to Shihaku and looked at her. "In a sense, Celesilme, you are still young yet to make such a decision, but do not be so quick to close your heart. Legolas is a good Elf. Rangers can fall in love too."
Shihaku rolled her eyes. "Trust me I have seen it. Strider loses all his edge, danger, and mystery as a Ranger when he is around you. I think your name alone can make his eyes soften. You are quite a danger to him."
Arwen blushed a little not entirely realizing the effect she had on him, though it was hard to say her beauty did not affect anyone. "//You know, Legolas was quite concerned about you. It is as if this short journey of yours has created quite a bond.//"
"//Please, cease this, Arwen. I do not think any more of him than you might, perhaps even less. I have just met him and yes the journey has helped me get to know him more than many others I have met, but he is merely a friend.//" Sighing, Shihaku looked outside at the trees. What an absurd idea, she thought.
Arwen took a deep breath and gave up, for the time being. "Forgive me, we do have other things to worry about.such as those assassins."
"I have already thought it out, though it is for Strider and Elr-ah-Adar to decide. When Norvelin, arrives bringing whatever news, he will most likely stay here for as long as he can to gain everyone's trust just as he gained the trust of the Mirkwood Elves. It is then at a time of weakness that he and his band will strike."
"What can they gain from this treachery?"
"Who knows? Legolas told me that they wish to put another on the throne to aid them in their corrupt ways." Shihaku closed her eyes. "Or perhaps it is the line that now rules over Gondor that they wish to keep. Regardless, I fear that they are quite serious, Arwen. The band we fought with was rather small but I think there to be much more of them lurking closer toward Imladris. Legolas will remain out of sight but everyone shall make it seem as if we have not heard from him or the Ranger Shihaku. They have not yet seen my face and even then I will seem different as a daughter of Elrond Peredhil for they think me only to be a Ranger."
Arwen nodded. "We shall make them believe they have the upper hand and strike when they are weakest. Adar and Estel will agree I think. But I doubt Legolas will be happy to hide day and night."
"He will have his chance. He yearns for Norvelin's blood. I too would like a stake in his death." Shihaku clutched a candle stand tightly, her knuckles turning white.
"//This bitterness is unbecoming of a Lady,//" Arwen shook her head teasingly.
"//Oh? And who are you to tell me of being ladylike when you are prancing around in the gardens with Strider?//"
Arwen knew well what her sister implied and gave her a look. "//We do not prance around like that.//"
"Oh?"
"//Oh stop. You know, Celesilme, from the stories Estel has told me of Shihaku the Ranger, it is uncharacteristic of you to jest so lowly.//"
"//You seem far from the high, outstanding Fair Maiden Evenstar that Strider has spoken of,//" countered Shihaku. "Besides, whatever Strider has told you, he has obviously forgotten the wit I have. I do not mean to boast, Arwen, but I pride myself in my cunning."
Arwen nodded. "I know. For while Estel has his own talent at it, you have taught him much."
"What has he told you about me?" Arwen could only laugh and Shihaku wondered if that was a good or bad thing.
-----------------
Welp, there it is. I know boring, boring- no action yet. It'll get interesting again soon. assuming it was ever really interesting in the first place hehehe. I'm hoping that from this chapter and the next one, you'll get more of an idea of Shihaku's past and I can sorta establish the relationship between the House of Elrond. Assuming I'm able to get my character/costume sketches for Shihaku/Celesilme and Norvelin online, would people actually be looking at them? If I can't get it up on a website but am able to scan them, would anyone want me to send them via email? I'm just curious to see if I should go through the trouble of finding a functional scanner and mooching off someone.
Oh and another poll for upcoming chapters: would you rather that Shihaku was to talk with all of her family (Elrond, Arwen, Elrohir and Elladan) at once and talk about the past together or would you rather she spent some time with each character (although I would group the twins together cause.well just cause). Thanks!