…and a Little Red Bag

Chapter Three: In the Car

A Final Fantasy 7 Fan Fiction

By

Lady Aoi

Summary: Elena accompanies Scarlet on a most unusual shopping trip.

Pairing: Elena/Scarlet

Rating: R for adult humor, shoujo-ai, language

Disclaimer: Scarlet, Elena, the Turks and Heidegger all belong to Square Soft. I'm just taking them for an unauthorized test drive.

Lady Aoi's Notes: Thanks to everyone for reading so far! Updates should come a little faster when this semester is ended ;

~*~

You would have expected Scarlet to be a woman of taste and distinction, Elena thought. After all, she went to work in a dinner dress and wore shoes with heels high enough to shatter a normal person's ankles after three or four steps. And even though Elena couldn't see Scarlet's nails at the moment, she suspected they were like the rest of her ensemble; red, sculpted and expensive. Yes, it seemed Scarlet relished the finer things in life.

But if that was the case, then why was Scarlet driving a truck?

Yes, the vehicle was a truck and not, as Elena first thought, an illusion summoned by too much coffee, and a night spent listening to Reno's inebriated singing ("Nine thousand bottles of *hic* saki on the *hich* thingy…Nine thousand… where were we again, Rude?" "…."). Nope. She was indeed staring at an eight-year-old Shinra, Inc. mako powered truck, complete with mud stains, rust and

"Is that a gun rack?"

"Kyahahahaha! You say that as if you've never seen one, Elena!"

Elena turned crimson in a stammering attempt to recover her dignity. "Um… yeah… yeah, sure I've seen them! Haha! It's just…" you should be driving a rich bitch car.

Scarlet smiled. "It's just that I should drive something more gender appropriate?"

Elena's blush darkened. "No! No, I didn't mean that at all!" Hell, Heidegger's a man and he drives a rich bitch car. "I – I just wasn't expecting to see you driving an '04 Behemoth."

"Oh?" Scarlet asked as she unlocked the driver's side door. "And why is that?"

"Well…no reason. I mean, it's an excellent make… best brake system and mako cooling core Shinra Motors ever designed, in fact. A real improvement over the '02 model. But the truck only cost about twelve thousand gil when it first came out and…"

"And you expected a Shinra executive to drive something a little newer, more glamorous?" Scarlet batted her eyelashes with no pretension at innocence.

Busted. "Yeah, but it's still one of the best trucks ever made!" Eeeee… judging by the look on Scarlet's powdered face that was probably the last thing she should have said. Oh well, at least she'd have the honor of dying by being run over by one of the best machines in automobile history. Too bad no one would be around to witness it.

But instead of killing her, Scarlet merely smiled. "Mhh. I see you know your trucks, Elena."

The young Turk blinked. "Huh?"

"I dare say most people take one look at Beatrice and write her off as a hunk of junk just because she's a bit rusted around the edges and getting on in years." Scarlet lovingly ran her gloved hand over the truck's side mirror and sighed sadly. "Aren't we all, though?" For a moment, she appeared to be lost in thought, a frown creasing her delicate lips and furrowing her high forehead.

"Scarlet?" Elena asked, taking a concerned step forward. Scarlet merely stared at the truck, as if she and her bodyguard suddenly inhabited two very different worlds. "Scarlet?"

"Hm? Oh! I was just thinking…even your esteemed leader – who has about twelve years on you, I might add – hasn't a clue about automobiles. Is it a hobby of yours?"

"Not really. I mean, I love autos but… it's not really a hobby. See, when I was a kid, I had a job in a junk shop…so I had to know a ton about all sorts of cars and trucks…especially the older makes. Because…well, people in the slums can't really afford the newer ones, you know? So they'd just bring their auto in, you'd repair it as best you could, and they'd drive it around 'til something else went. So you had to be good at what you did, so people wouldn't have to bring it back in again before… well, before it was time."

"And were you? Good at what you did?"

"Well, I don't really know," Elena said, looking at the ground. "But no one ever really complained…we did pretty good business, too. Considering all the other junk shops around Wall Market, I mean. Wait a second. Did you say Tseng didn't know about your truck?"

Scarlet cackled. "Oh, please! He can't even drive a stick!"

"He can't?"

"Kyahaahahahah! He almost ripped the clutch out last night! He didn't seem very happy about being scolded, either. Just between us, Elena? That man has no sense of humor…and no stamina either, if you know what I mean." And she winked.

Elena felt her heart race. Oh god…she hadn't…had she? Scarlet and Tseng…Tseng…it was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

No, Elena told herself. I'm a Turk, and I'm on a mission now. And no matter what, no matter what happened between Scarlet and Tseng last night, I will not open the hood, slam it down over Scarlet's neck, and ram her limp body against the wall for the next half hour! I am a Turk, and I must be professional at all times….even if she is a heartless, g-string wearing slut who's probably playing him like an accordion. No! I won't think about that because

"That's the will and spirit of the Turks!"

"Kyahaha! It's good to see you take your job so seriously!"

Elena blushed and popped back into reality. "Oh…yeah, I guess so, huh? Ha ha!" Oh god, someone just shoot me now. This is worse than all those cock-sucking rumors.

"And speaking of taking things seriously it isn't true, is it? What Heidegger read on the men's room wall this morning?"

Elena's mouth flew open. Despite her attempts to the contrary, it remained unable to form a coherent word for the next three and a half minutes. It was impossible for it to do so, after all, with its owner's mind steadily plotting the murder of two irritating little boy Turks who were probably writing more of the same shit in more men's rooms while yucking it up. Ugh! Men!

"No, I didn't think so," Scarlet soothed. "But I wanted you to know because I don't much care for rumors, especially the ones started as vicious practical jokes. And if you know who the culprit…or culprits are, I'd be happy to inform the general so he can punish them accordingly.

While Elena nonetheless relished the thought of Reno getting his just deserts, she could not laugh at the thought of Heidegger beating Reno – or anyone – black and blue. So she merely shrugged and shook her head. "Nope, no idea who could have started that story, Scarlet." You so owe me for this, Reno…

"Hmmm. That's a shame, because Heidegger and I would certainly love to know." Scarlet again looked at her vehicle fondly before turning back to Elena. "But I would, nevertheless, like to do my part in making up for these devastating rumors…with that in mind, would you like to drive her? My truck?"

"Drive her?"  Scarlet nodded patiently. "Eeee….I'd love to, and that's really sweet of you, but…"

"But?"

"Well, what if someone…I'm not saying they will or anything, but with all these terrorists around today…"

"Kyahaha! You wouldn't mean those six people last seen headed for Wutai, would you? Because if you did, I hardly think they'll be a problem. And in the unlikely event that someone from AVALANCHE decides to attack us on the way to the Midgar Mall, well..." Scarlet slid her dress away from her thigh. "I think they'll be in for a very nasty surprise. Wouldn't you agree."

"Guh." Elena choked. She found it hard to do anything else but choke, either, as she was now staring at Scarlet's bare thigh.

"What do you think of it?"

Scarlet's thigh was firm, pale and so very smooth. And if you looked hard enough, you could see that she had a little mole peeking right above the top of her black stocking. How high did that panty girdle stretch, anyway? Elena wondered as she flicked her eyes upwards. "Huh?" she asked, wondering what Scarlet had just said.

"Kyahaha! My mako gun, you silly girl!" Scarlet removed the tiny weapon from the holster around her thigh and handed it to Elena. "Small enough to fit in your pocket, strong enough to penetrate three inches of solid steel. Heidegger really should talk to me about giving one to all of you Turks."

"Oh," Elena giggled nervously as she handed the gun back. "Ha ha! Right! The gun! It's great! Really! Yeah!"

"Elena, may I say something?"

"Shoot," Elena made the thumb and pointer finger of each hand into a gun, pointed them at Scarlet and giggled nervously.

"Heidegger said you were anxious to please, but I had no idea. You're a very tense young woman, aren't you?"

How could she argue with that? "Yeah, I guess so," Elena said miserably. "…Sorry."

"Kyahaha! See, that's exactly what I mean! Really, Elena. There's nothing to apologize for! Especially when your shoulders are practically hunched all the way up to your ears!"

"They are?" The Turk self-consciously lowered her shoulders.

"Yes. It's very sad. We'll have to stop by the spa on our way back so you can have a nice relaxing massage." Scarlet replaced the gun in its holster and covered it with her dress. "Now that you know I'm a grown woman who can very well take care of herself, would you like to drive me to the mall?"

Elena had been a Turk for over four months now. And if she knew one rule, she knew this: when an executive offers, take it. Next time they might shoot you. "Yeah, I'd really like that," she grinned. "Thanks."

"Please, don't mention it," Scarlet said as she climbed into the passenger seat. "Sometimes I get so very tired of driving myself everywhere. And besides. Who would say no to a pretty chauffer?"

Pretty? Had Scarlet just called her pretty? "Guh."

"Exactly," Scarlet softly patted the seat with a red-gloved hand. "All aboard?"

"All aboard," Elena agreed as she swung into the driver's seat and closed the door behind her. She turned the key and revved the engine as she reached back for the clutch. "Where should I take you first, Scarlet?"

"Threads. Yes, Threads, I think. My goodness! It's almost one o'clock! If we don't leave now we'll miss the sale!"

"Don't worry," Elena said as they pulled out of the driveway. "I know a shortcut."

"Shortcut?" Scarlet asked curiously. "What shortcut would that be?"

"Well…um…one that requires a seatbelt, first of all."

A slow grin spread across Scarlet's face. "Elena," she chuckled as she strapped herself in. "I do believe I like your style." And she began to cackle loudly as Elena gunned the motor and sped for the freeway.