DISCLAIMER: Fushigi Yuugi is not mine but like many others at this site, this story features characters borrowed from FY. The setting is borrowed from the Forbidden City in China. THE RISING SUN is a product of my imagination. Any potential similarities to characters, currently living or historical, are not intended.
RATING: PG-13
The Rising Sun ©Jez. (l.t.s.) 2003.
SUMMARY: AU, romance/drama featuring characters borrowed from Fushigi Yuugi.
AUTHOR'S NOTES (A): This story is constantly under revision.
CHARACTERS:
Yuk Ming Jade Dawn - Yuki Miaka
Kiu Ching Fung Immaculate Wind - Kishuku Sou / Tamahome
Wan Fei Flying Cloud - Shunu Kou/ Tasuki
Emperor Chu Kim Tin Heavenly Sword - Saihitei / Hotohori
Suet Lam Purple Snow - Kourin
Tin Po Heavenly Retribution - Tenbun
WARNING: MUSHY chapter but the end incident is significant (again)
The Rising Sun
written by Jez (l.t.s.)
Chapter 4:
Uncertain Deception
Palace of Celestial Purity
Centre of the Inner Court of the Forbidden Palace
Emperor Kim Tin knew that his advisers would not approve. He understood their sentiments and misgivings. He had already decided to give her an audience and listen to her; he would do so, whatever anyone else may say. Looking at the woman before him now, he could not find it in his heart to believe her capable of trickery. Her eyes, clearer than his most precious amethysts yet more direct than any of his counsellors' glance, reflected the warmth and concern of a long-time friend as she gazed back at him. Her actions, quiet and restrained, as she returned his embrace bespoke the care and affection that he had come to depend on. The years since he had known her had filled a strange gap in his life that had started from the day he had been crowned emperor. To anyone else, it would seem strange that a woman, least of all, a foreigner, could share the Emperor's thoughts and wishes like an equal. But such was the way it was between them. Together, each had found solace for the desolation of being alone in a position that neither had chosen.
"Suet Lam." It was a whisper as he tasted the sweetness of it on his tongue, her name coming naturally to his lips with none of the usual formality. All he knew was that he needed her presence, her reassurance, and her warmth against his being. His hands had reached for hers of their own accord, tugging her towards him as she leaned automatically into his embrace, giving comfort when he needed it most.
Her presence before him was a result of a tribute to him as Emperor of the land. Suet Lam was a Princess of the Dorben People, a Tribe in Eastern Mongolia and from the moment she arrived, her background has been shrouded with distrust, suspicion, and outright hostility from the very foreigners she had come to call her people. Instead of making her a concubine, Princess Suet Lam proved herself adept at conversation and entertaining with chess and music and before long, she became a friend and companion to him. If he had thought the elevation of her status without marring her reputation would help her position, he was never more wrong. This only made her situation more uncomfortable as resentment from the Harem ladies grew while antagonism abounded from court officials and their wives who had daughters of marriageable age. As Emperor, he had all the power in the world and yet he could not protect a single woman from the daily harassment of a hostile court. Still, the Lady Suet Lam had borne these attitudes with incredible forbearance, unfailing grace and staunch equanimity.
Looking at her, silken hair flowing in cascading waves down her back as reflective of an unmarried court lady, he now wondered what she would say if he asked her to become his wife.
He sighed. For years now, she had stood by his side without complaint, letting the arrows of time dwindle away while she stayed in his company, cheering him with her smile and music, stimulating his mind with her chess and poetry, warming his heart with her kindness and care. He wanted to give her something in return but he did not know what she could possibly wish for.
He raised a finger to smooth a strand of hair from her brow, the scent of snow violets drifting to his nose. Of late, he'd begun to notice the shadows that marred her frequent smiles but therein lay the problem. Whatever she may be feeling deep inside, she covered it with a smiling serenity that could barely be breached. He had often wondered what it took to ruffle the tranquillity, the perpetual smile that must merely be a façade above the hurt that the unkind had imprinted on her. In that moment, as the voices of his counsellors returned, he suddenly wondered with a heavy heart just how many masks Suet Lam actually wore.
oOo
From the moment the messenger left, the letter had decided her fate. She had never regretted anything more in the world than her presence here. Yet she could no longer change her fate than the man who stood before her could. She knew that it was time. The moment to act has come. There was no room for hesitation. Yuk Ming's return only reinforced the need to accelerate her plans. The Phoenix Princess was not her ally and with everything she held dear hanging in the balance, she could not let this chance pass her by. To do so would mean failure and death. Yet, here she was now in the emperor's private quarters, betraying even herself as she relished the tightness of his embrace.
"Suet Lam." Emperor Kim Tin whispered against her hair but the sound only swept her with sadness. She really wished he wouldn't call her that even though she knew her wish was incongruous since that was the only name he knew her by. But then she often wished for the impossible… Even if she lied to herself that the current warmth in his eyes were all for her, she could not convince herself that they were fundamentally real. How could they be when all that he knew of her was an act, and all that she stood for was a lie. And yet how she wished with all her heart that it could possibly be otherwise…
Leaning close into Kim Tin's chest, she stood listening to the steady beat of his heart, breathing in the scent of him, feeling his warmth, melting in the security of his embrace and those words came out of their own volition… a whisper from the heart… the only truth in her pretence…
Your Majesty, my love.
She hadn't said them out loud. She would not. She could not. And more so, she dared not. Those three words, etched like flames within her mind, were enough to bring a surging tide of pain to her chest. She felt like her heart was being ripped apart, yet still she leaned just a little closer to him, wanting and needing to feel the essence of him around her even if the agony of it killed her. She would savour his nearness for now. All because she might never have this chance again.
"Your Majesty?" she began, her voice slightly muffled against the soft silk of his regal robes.
"Kim Tin." His voice firm and yet kind, his breath ruffling her hair and she couldn't help but sigh almost dreamily as his voice washed over her in waves of warmth with the gift of the precious use of his name.
"Kim Tin?" she whispered, cherishing the implied intimacy from within the torturous comfort of his arms.
"I-, you… Do-you-know-why-I-have-come?"
The words came out in a rush and for some reason, the succinctness of the closed question came out wrong. He would say yes or no. Nothing more but it would change everything between them and she suddenly didn't want to hear his answer. She almost wished she could close her ears and somehow suspend time so that they could stay like this forever, neatly avoiding the point of revelation. Instead, she closed her eyes for a moment, dreading his answer. She suspected that he already knew but she didn't want to hear him say it. Not to her face.
Ah, Kim Tin. Why did you have to be Emperor of this land?
The familiar question passed through her mind for the countless time bringing with it the moistness of sorrow. She felt his touch on her face and looked up to find him smoothing away a wayward violet strand from her brow. His eyes were calmer than the most placid of lakes, clearer than the most lucid crystal and to her they were more beautiful than anything she could possibly imagine. That was until he smiled down at her and she discovered that nothing in all of existence could possibly equal the golden splendour of his smile. It wasn't right that he could still smile at her like this when he probably knew her purpose for being here. She felt herself cringing at what she had done and what she still had to do. His warmth burnt her with shame.
She sighed again but this time the sound was filled with sadness. Perhaps it was for the best. She pulled away and took a step back, reluctance and resolution warring violently within her even as every part of her screamed in outrage. It had felt so right to be in his arms. The lingering warmth of him around her spelled everything she had ever dreamt of in her life. But even so, it was not right for her.
She was not right for him.
"Suet Lam." The name again. She blinked hard, battling the onslaught of threatening emotion and willing the pain away as she recalled the harsh bounds of duty. "You can tell me." He told her softly, his voice kind. He was so very gentle with her that she wanted to cry.
She could not betray him. She didn't want to.
But you already have.
oOo
Perhaps it was fate. He thought as he felt her pull away. He knew why she had come tonight. It was a time for explications. Although he had no wish to listen to them, he steeled himself anyway and waited calmly for the world to change between them.
"Kim Tin," she began, her voice quiet and filled with infinite sadness, "It wasn't my choice to come here in the first place. I just wish- I just hope- I... needed to make that clear." He stayed silent and waited, the heaviness in his heart increasing with each word that passed her lips.
"It was a mistake right from the start. I didn't want to come. If I had another choice, I would never have consented to this. I have deliberated for four years, thinking, wondering, searching for another way. I couldn't find it within me. I could not escape my duty." Each word she said sliced at him. Although somewhere deep within him, he should have known that she would miss her home, he never realised how much she disliked it here.
She never wanted to be here. She never wanted to be with me.
oOo
It has been four years. Four long years…" She paused, glancing at him, her eyes shadowed by hopelessness.
Four wonderful years spent with you, meeting you, knowing you…
She sighed, closing her eyes for a brief moment, letting the truth flood her mind.
Ah Kim Tin, you were never what I expected. I came furnished with the knowledge of your life, your youth, your preferences, your vulnerabilities, everything I needed to know but I wasn't prepared for the ultimate experience of meeting you.
No, I never expected… to love you…
But out loud, those words never passed her lips. Instead, what came out was an outright lie. "I never wanted to stay. I'm sorry."
"Is it because of someone else?" She heard him say, his voice lower than usual, seemingly far away. She opened her eyes to find him gazing out the window, his back to her.
A life not my own is at stake. If only it had been mine and solely mine involved, I would have gladly given it up for you.
She watched his back, knowing this would be her last chance to see him this way. "Yes. And I am afraid I can no longer wait." Her hand moved, reaching for the instrument hidden in her robes.
"I see." He suddenly strode towards his desk reaching for something among the important documents. When he turned back to her, his face was curiously expressionless as he pressed something into her surprised hands.
She glanced down to find folded papers in her grasp. With trembling hands, she reached out to open them, one by one. Her knees suddenly felt weak. They were hers.
Her letters. How had he found them?
Her eyes flew to his face but his eyes were unfathomable as he stared back at her. "I gather this must be the person in question." He stated it without question.
It took a full minute for her to understand what he had said, another minute to react.
You don't know whom these letters are addressed to? You thought I wrote to someone else? Didn't you read them?
She didn't realise she'd spoken out loud till she felt his fingers grasping her shoulders tightly and the golden eyes were suddenly gazing down at her with a powerful intensity.
"What exactly do you mean, Suet Lam?"
She swallowed nervously. "I- Don't call me that... please" she prevaricated, staring up at him, unable to tear her gaze away from the brilliance of his golden gaze. And then a movement caught her eye.
Emperor Kim Tin's eyes widened when the woman he held withdrew a dagger from her sleeve.
This dagger was her answer?
He stared at her in shock. Then, the dagger she wielded hit the target and he winced.
It took no more than a few seconds but the emperor found himself flung down onto the floor with an amazing strength he could barely believe the diminutive Suet Lam possessed. He rose at the sight of a shadow flying out of the window, noting blood cascading on a white arm and then his eyes saw the fallen dagger.
The dagger had been her protection for him.
And then he looked down to find his own robes soaked and the body sagging against his was curiously still.
"Suet Lam?" He called, touching her cheek and feeling how cold it suddenly was and how incredibly pale. Her lips had gone a pale shade of purple that uncannily resembled her hair, bespeaking a poison rapidly spreading in her blood. From far away, he heard the sound of feet approaching, the doors opening, questions flung at him as people surrounded him. He ignored them.
"Suet Lam? Wake up!" He called urgently, pulling her towards his chest as he cupped her flawless cheek. "Don't sleep. Don't let sleep claim you - Suet Lam?"
"...Not Suet Lam..." He strained his ears as she mumbled weakly. "Nu-ri-ko."
"Nu-ri-ko?" His question called up a smile from her; her eyes were unfocused but at least she had not gone to sleep - there was hope yet. He turned and ordered for all the Court Physicians to be summoned at once.
"Nuriko." Emperor Kim Tin tested the name on his lips. So that is her name.
oOo
CAST:
Saihitei / Hotohori as Emperor Chu Kim Tin Heavenly Sword, Emperor of the land
Kourin as Suet Lam Purple Snow, representative princess of Eastern Mongolia, tribute to the Emperor
Yuki Miaka as Yuk Ming Jade Purity, the Phoenix Princess
Kishuku Sou / Tamahome as Ching FungImmaculate Wind
Shunu Kou/ Tasuki as Chu Wan Fei Flying Cloud, The Second Prince and younger brother of Emperor Kim Tin
Tenbun as Tin Po Heavenly Retribution, Agent of Princess Suet Lam
oOo
A/N: Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think of this chapter