Disclaimer: WoT isn't mine and I have never earned money off RJ's series and never intend to, and the characters are mine or my friends', but the types of characters are inspired by Robert Jordan's types of characters. Thanks RJ for a great series!
Note: All characters are/were played at Dragonmount, the largest WoT Community on the web () at various times in history.
Into the Arches
By Stormer
Phrygiana led Taya down the empty hallways, and the Novice breathed deeply, trying to clear her head. "You don't give any warning?"
Phrygiana smiled. "No, child. Imagine what that would do to you? It is better that we spring it upon you this way. And we would not do so if you were not ready."
Taya did not feel ready. She felt sick to the stomach, all trembly and light-headed. She did not say anything to Phrygiana, of course. In a way it was good she had just had her heart broken, because it gave her something to think about besides the arches…not that she could have thought about them if she had wanted to. Light, Eos, I'm so sorry…Her lower lip trembled, but she caught herself quickly.
They walked a long and winding path down through the Tower, going deeper than Taya had ever been before. Eventually they reached the chamber which housed the ter'angreal arches, and Taya tried to swallow the lump in her throat. There were other Aes Sedai there, all for her.
"Whom do you bring with you, Sister?"
"One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister."
"Is she ready?"
"She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance."
"Does she know her fears?"
"She has never faced them, but now is willing."
"Then let her face what she fears."
Taya promptly stripped naked, as she had learned she must. Phrygiana looked pleased, but Taya was too terrified to care. She was led to the first arch.
"The first time is for what was," Phrygiana intoned. "The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
Taya stepped through…
* * *
"Did you ever hear of an Andevaar surrendering?"
Taya's cousin's voice was haughty and confident, and his dark eyes gleamed with pride. For as long as she could remember, Joavin had been proud to a fault. "We will never give in!"
Taya sighed, and tried not to scream in frustration. "You do not understand the Dragonsworn," she insisted. Her index finger was still on the map where she had been pointing. "They are a brutal group, and the last thing you would want to do is oppose them."
"You suggest we surrender, then?" Her father moved out of the shadows, confronting his daughter. "You believe it is best that we give up everything we have ever worked for, everything we have achieved over the past eight centuries?"
"Father," she replied, "if you do not, you will surely lose it anyway. I am afraid that your best chance of survival is to admit defeat. You do not seem to understand just how fierce these men and women are. None of you do. If only some of you were willing to listen–"
"Taya my child, you should not even be here," her father interrupted, pursing his lips beneath his thick moustache. "Go to your mother and offer your aid in the infirmary."
Taya's cheeks stung at the curt dismissal, and she glared about the room at the gathered men. "You will all regret this shortly," she said quietly, forcing herself to keep her cool. "I can promise you that."
She departed in a flurry of skirts.
The advancing army was monstrous in size, and Taya did not have to look at her father to know he was horrified. He would never admit it, but Taya had been right about the Dragonsworn. They would brook no opposition, particularly not from the residents of a tiny town on the outskirts of the city. She shook her head and closed her eyes, wishing she was not seeing what lay before her eyes clear as day.
"What do you want to do, father?" she asked calmly, ensuring that her voice contained no element of 'I-told-you-so'. She glanced at her father, and saw him clenching and unclenching his jaw.
He took a moment to answer. Finally he said, "We will not back down." He did not look at her.
"Father!" she exclaimed.
"Enough!" he bellowed, rounding on her with clenched fists. "If I say we go on, then we go on! Now go to your mother!"
Taya barely kept herself from lashing out at him with the Power. She spun on her heel and stalked away, once again on the lookout for her mother in the 'women's area'.
It was hopeless.
The Dragonsworn army made their terrifying advance with every passing breath, and too many Elmorans had fallen already. Taya was run off her feet in the infirmary, rushing from patient to patient with barely a chance to attend to any of them properly. Her father was an utter fool, she was willing to accept that now. He would get them all killed.
The way back will come but once.
Taya looked up, pale braids swinging gently. She did not know what the words meant, but she knew they were connected somehow the silver arch she saw through the window across the track.
Be steadfast.
Steadfast. I will be steadfast, she thought, and moved on to the next patient.
The look in her father's eyes was terrifying. She had never seen him so desperate, so truly fearful for his own life and the life of his comrades.
"Father, we must give up!" she cried, desperate to knock some sense into him. "It is hopeless! Look how many have fallen already!"
"I will not give in!" her father cried raggedly, and she thought he might be crying. "Never!"
"Father!" she wailed. "Please!"
"GO TO YOUR MOTHER, GIRL!"
Taya saw the arch just off a ways to her right. No, she cried inwardly. I cannot leave now!
Leave? Why would I leave?
The battle raged on, and at one point her father turned to run. Terror had taken him by the throat, and he no longer had any qualms about fleeing. It seemed that madness had crept in too. Taya began to sob.
"Father! I will help you."
"They're coming, my girl! Out of the way! I will not have you harmed–"
"Father," she whimpered, and began to jog towards the arch. Her legs felt leaden.
"My girl, I am sorry!" he cried. "Do not leave me alone, please! I need you here."
She almost stopped, but forced herself to continue. The arch drew nearer. She wondered how something so beautiful could signify such sorrow.
"TAYA CHILD!" An image of her father's eyes floated in her mind, eyes haunted and dismayed.
"DO NOT LEAVE US!"
Taya stepped through the arch, and she thought that she was hyperventilating…
…Her legs gave way beneath her, and she fell to her hands and knees. As water was poured over her she shivered uncontrollably, blinking and finding her eyes were dry. Oh Light, if that was only the first arch, what on earth is coming? She whimpered as someone spoke the rites.
"You are washed clean of what sin you may have done, and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul."
Taya rose and shuffled over to Phrygiana Sedai, hiccuping continually. "It was not real," she said softly, firmly. "I know it wasn't." Her face crumpled. "It just seemed so real."
"You have done well so far," Phrygiana spoke gently, leading her around to the next arch. "Just remember, it does get harder. You are strong, Taya."
Taya was weeping openly now, knowing that other women often managed to contain themselves this early. It seemed she was just weaker than all the others.
"I would not do it," she said defiantly. "I could never do that to my family!"
"Are you ready, child? Ready to go on?"
Taya nodded in defeat, her face sagging.
"All right." Phrygiana spoke calmly. "The second time is for what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
Taya stepped forward and was engulfed in light…
* * *
…She stood in a field of wildflowers, flowers of every colour imaginable. She glanced down at her dress, of yellow silk and velvet, studded with pearls at the neck and waistline, and smiled.
But the smile faltered. She felt like she was missing something.
And then came the sounds of pitched battle, distant yet seemingly so near. They came from over the hill. She began to climb.
She climbed and climbed, and when she reached the top she looked down on a battle contained in the shallow valley below. She saw her Sisters fighting, and hurried down to join them, to be of what assistance she could.
She noticed an Aes Sedai motioning to her, pointing in the direction of a cordoned-off area. The place where the wounded were dragged, if possible, to be attended by the Healers. Healers… Taya glanced down at her Yellow-fringed shawl, and shook her head, frowning slightly. Then she hurried over to where the patients waited.
"Taya Sedai!"
The shout came from the right, and she turned around, squinting into the greyish darkness.
"Your help is needed here! Madria is ill. I fear she is dying."
Taya stumbled over, kneeling down beside a man she knew from the merchants' wagons. Bailan, his name was, and this woman was his wife. A great gaping wound glistened wetly through her torn bodice, which was now stained an ugly shade of red.
"Step aside," Taya commanded, her voice ringing with authority. She pushed up her sleeves and leaned forward. As she did so her shawl fell forward, and she noticed the trimming again.
Yellow. Of course it is yellow, she thought in puzzlement, and shook her head to clear it. She placed her hands on the woman and embraced saidar, too distracted by the horror surrounding her on all sides to revel in the experience. She sent fibres of the Power through the wounded woman's body, delving for clues. She grimaced as they presented themselves in all their ugly detail.
She rested her hands there for a moment, and stroked the woman's cheek gently, pursing her lips. Then she pushed back and got to her feet, casting about for the next patient.
"What are you doing?!" Bailan exclaimed, a look of angry horror in his eyes. "You won't help her?"
"Taya!" someone shouted, and she recognised Tania's voice. Her sense were immediately on the alert, and she hastened her movements.
"Where are you going?" Bailan's eyes accused her, and his voice was increasingly frantic. "Help her!"
"I cannot," Taya said as gently as she could. "I am sorry, Bailan."
She hurried away, oblivious to the sound of uncontrolled sobbing which now came from behind her. She had grown so attuned to death and pain in recent times, she hardly noticed it anymore.
The way back will come but once… The voice floated to her through the air, and she frowned, her step faltering. Then she shook herself and hurried on, spotting Tania at last. She was defending a fallen Aes Sedai from advancing Trollocs. Taya recognised the fallen woman as Krystonia, and horror filled her.
"Oh Light!" she murmured, and raced forward.
She saw a gleaming silver arch out in the woods, beyond Tania. Her heart stopped.
"Taya!" Tania exclaimed. "Get a move on!"
Taya started and then stopped, started then stopped. The arch remained, and she heard the words in her mind, Be steadfast. She blinked, and began to shake her head. No! Not now!
More Aes Sedai had joined Tania, including Leonora and Gytta. It seemed, however, that their efforts to hold the enemy at bay were in vain. Taya knew her added strength could very well tip the balance. The way back will come…
Taya frowned and advanced forward, seeing a look of pure relief on Tania's strained face. "About time!" Taya saw her mouth the words before she returned her attention to the enemy.
The way back will come but–
The way back will–
The arch was to her right now, closer than before. She calculated that it was only ten metres away. "No!" she whimpered. "No, I will not." I want to be Aes Sedai. I have to be Aes Sedai. She blinked. I am Aes Sedai. But there is something… She found herself walking towards the arch.
"Taya!"
She tried to block her ears, to squeeze her eyes shut, but the sounds would not disappear.
"Taya, help! They're coming too fast. I can't–!!!"
Her friends, the people she loved most in the world, screaming in anguished voices for her to help. And she walked away.
"TAYA, PLEASE!!!"
She would never forgive herself, of that much she was certain. She would never, ever–
The way back will come but once.
She looked back once, and knew that she would regret it for the rest of her life. She could not see Tania anymore. She could not see Gytta, or Leonora or Krystonia. Her friends were gone, swallowed up by the advancing Shadow Army, and she was all alone with her guilt.
Be steadfast, the voice came again.
She faced the arch and bolted through. She was divided by the light.
* * *
…She staggered as she emerged, running right into Phrygiana. The Mistress of Novices moved away calmly and Taya fell to her knees, shivering uncontrollably. The second chalice was poured over her head.
"You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul."
I feel ravaged, not clean, she thought sourly, burying her face in her hands.
"Are you ready to continue, child?" Phrygiana helped her to her feet and led her around to the next arch, an arm around her bare shoulders.
"I never ever want to see this place again," she spoke honestly, but hung her head. "Of course I will continue. It could not possibly be any worse."
"Unfortunately, child, it is bound to be just that. Everyone who comes through here knows that the third arch is the hardest."
"Very comforting," Taya muttered, and followed the Mistress of Novices around to the third arch.
"The third time is for what will be. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
Taya inhaled deeply and stepped forward, knowing this was the beginning of the end, even if she did not quite understand how…
* * *
…Chaos reigned supreme in the valley, and Taya could barely hear herself think. The mist was thickening, swirling in sluggish circles above and around her, but it was not enough to obscure her view of the battlefield. Trollocs fought women and men, commanded by Myrdraal, and Aes Sedai and Asha'man brought down lightning and fire from the skies. Soldiers rallied in a desperate attempt to regain lost ground, while others concentrated on removing the dead and wounded from the battle field.
These wounded were brought to the Aes Sedai Healers who had been set aside for one purpose: to Heal. Something made Taya glance down, at the shawl fringed with yellow which enshrouded her. The frown was just fading when she heard someone cry out.
"Over there!" It was Natasshha, and she was pointing to the right. "They need you there."
Taya nodded and hastened over, keeping her eyes peeled and her shield firmly in place.
"There you are!" someone exclaimed, and one of the Yellows hurried to greet Taya.
"Buenico!" Taya cried. "What can I do? Where?"
The dark-haired woman gestured to one of the wounded men, and then moved on to another, turning her flushed face to Taya as she went. "He looks terrible," she called. "Just do what you can."
Taya knelt down beside her patient and prepared to Delve him, to see what was wrong. He appeared to be trying to lift his head, and his brow was furrowed with exertion. "I…know you–"
"Hush!" she reprimanded. "Do not try to speak."
"I…this–"
"Enough!"
She Delved him and nearly jerked back in horror. "Oh Light, where have you been?" She now knew that they were fighting creatures with blades made at the Thakan'dar forges. She doubted whether this man would live long. But she would try to help however she could.
She took out the angreal, knowing she lacked the strength to do this on her own after the day she had had. Clenching the small figurine in one hand, she then laid her free hand and the finger tips of her other on his forehead and got to work.
He shivered and lurched as she administered her Healing. It took a minute or two, but by the time she was done his face looked to contain a bit more colour.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
She jerked back and immediately leaned forward again, ignoring the words that seemed to float to her on the breeze. "This is all I can do for now, I am afraid," she murmured. "You will be well again if I have my way."
She hurried to the next patient. The way back will come but once…
"I cannot leave now!" she muttered, and knelt again.
Be steadfast.
She set to work on the new patient, again delving to ascertain the extent of his injuries. The way back will…
She looked up, and saw the silvery arch off to her left. It shimmered slightly, as if struggling to stay visible. "No!" she murmured fervently. "I will not. I am needed here."
"You abandoned me," Eos murmured, and Taya nearly died. In spite of herself she jerked her hands away, staring down in horror at the patient she had not recognised as her once-Promised.
"You left me all alone," he whispered in anguished tones. Taya's eyes stang, and her throat caught.
"Eos, I–"
"Help me," he said. "Help me now and make up for what you did, at least in part." He was panting now, from the effort of saying so much.
The way back will come but once.
"Shut up!" she screamed at the voice on the breeze, and realised she was on her feet. "I won't–"
"Taya," Buenico said suddenly, appearing in front of her. Siofra was by her side. "What are you doing? This patient needs–"
"Taya?" Siofra murmured, her eyes wide, and Taya opened her mouth to speak.
Something hit her on the head, and as her vision darkened rapidly she had the sensation of falling…
"I've got you, Tay. Don't be afraid."
Calya? Taya opened her eyes with an effort, and looked around. "Where are we?"
"It's all right," Calya whispered, smiling down at her sister. "I took you away from the battle. Just you relax."
Taya let her head flop to the left. The arch waited patiently, gleaming silver in the night.
"I'm going to take you away from here," Calya muttered, searching for something to wipe her blade off with. "You can't be here. And it is my job to–"
"Cal, I cannot abandon my friends!" Taya exclaimed, and found that she was exhausted from the effort of speaking a whole sentence. She tried to calm down. "I am Aes Sedai now," she sighed quietly.
Calya stared at her. "I know that, silly! I'm your Warder, or didn't you notice?" Her smile faded under Taya's blank look. "Oh," she murmured. "You've some amnesia, it seems. Well, it should clear up by–"
"Cal–!"
Trollocs had found them, and Calya had her back turned. At the warning she twisted around and was on her feet in seconds, her sword drawn and waving gently, like silk on a breeze. Taya did not know why she was surprised by the dangerousness in her sister's gait. Calya was a Warder, after all. But she reminded Taya of Elessar and other Gaidin, and somehow that seemed odd to her.
Calya engaged in battle with the Shadowspawn, and Taya tried to get to her feet. It took a few moments but she finally managed it. She reached out to the Source and found herself shielded. Panicking, she scanned the oncoming enemy for any Dreadlords – Dreadlords?! – but saw none.
Be steadfast.
The way back will–
"Leave my sister?" she whispered in horror, and then more forcefully, "No!"
Calya started to glance back, then changed her mind. "What? Tay, I can't talk–"
Calya was greatly outnumbered. She had downed two Trollocs, but they seemed to come and come.
Be steadfast.
Taya glanced over her shoulder, and there the arch was. She looked back at Calya. I can't leave her! I just can't! I'd rather be burned out. I'd rather die.
"Taya, help!" Calya said, sounding ashamed to ask. "There're too many!" Her voice became panicky.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
Taya tried again to reach the Source, but the shield was as firmly in place as ever.
"TAYA!"
With a cry of frustration and burning anger, Taya abandoned her efforts and raced towards the arch. "TAYA!" Her sister's voice was high-pitched and frantic now, and Taya could picture it in her mind. Her sister battling with all her might against a wave of enemies too great. Her sister swallowed by the Shadow, trampled and torn beneath the onslaught. No, she wept inwardly. I cannot be doing this.
She launched herself through the arch, vowing that someone would pay for this…
* * *
She was told later that she was one of the only ones to actually collapse upon exiting an arch for the last time. It would shame her to the core for a long time, but she did not learn of it until her second evening as Accepted, when the Aes Sedai felt it right that she be told. All she remembered was coming to in Phrygiana's arms. It never occurred to her that the Mistress of Novices had picked her up off the floor and propped her in preparation for her waking.
"You are washed clean of Taya Gille from Elmora. You are washed clean of all the ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul. You are Taya Gille, Accepted of the White Tower. You are sealed to us, now."
She wondered why she was not crying. She waited as the Amyrlin stepped forward to kiss her on one cheek.
"Welcome, Daughter," she murmured, and Taya realised what was happening. She was becoming Accepted. She was Accepted.
Kathana kissed her other cheek. "Welcome." Taya did not feel welcome. She felt shredded to pieces.
She dressed slowly, trying not to fall to the ground and sleep where she was. Fighting her fatigue, she left the chamber with the other Aes Sedai and headed straight for her room, thankful that the corridors were so empty for once. She did not think she could bare to face anyone with a calm face.
When she reached the room she shared with Krystonia, she paused outside, leaning her forehead against the door. Then she wiped her eyes and went inside. It took her a moment to spot Calya, who was waiting on the bed with a beaming smile on her face. Taya's heart lurched, and she almost began to cry right then and there.
"What are you doing here?" She must have looked aghast, because Calya rose from the bed and came to embrace her.
"I am your welcoming committee, of course," she murmured, and pulled back. "Congratulations! You are finally Accepted." Her eyes danced at first, but soon lost their lustre under Taya's haunted gaze. "It was pretty awful, hmm?"
Taya moved around her and glanced absently at Krystonia's bed. Her room mate was not here. One moment Taya wondered why, the next the memories of her ordeal came crashing back, and she flinched and flopped down onto her bed, her lower lip trembling.
Cal came to sit beside her, reaching out to take her sister's hand. "You want to talk about it?" she asked quietly, peering intently at Taya. "It might be good for you."
Taya laughed bitterly, and wiped at the tears that began to fall silently. "I don't think so," she said, and inhaled sharply. "I think I just need to sleep."
She did not make any moves, though. She could not force her limbs to do anything right now. She was numb, completely numb.
"Tay…I'm not going to be your Warder am I?"
Taya stared at her. "What?"
Calya smiled sadly. "I…had a dream," she said, pressing her lips together briefly. "I…don't think it would work. If you and I were Bonded." She began to cry silently as she went on. "I don't think…it would be the best for us. I can't Bond you. I see that now." Now her face crumpled. "It would all be wrong, Tay."
Taya watched her in numb silence, and finally shifted over to embrace her little sister. The two girls sat there for a moment or two, sobs shuddering through Calya, calm breaths diffusing Taya. Eventually the elder murmured, "I'm so sorry, Cal. I didn't want this…"
She knew that was no lie. It would have been wonderful, having Calya as her Warder, being able to keep an eye on her at all times, and having her there when the going got tough. But there was something wrong, she had known it from the beginning. Something about the whole arrangement just did not seem to fit, and Taya knew she could not lead her sister into something she was uncertain about. There were other things, however, that she was more than certain about. She did not know how to explain, but eventually Calya did the job for her.
"You will be wanting to visit…certain people, I assume." The Ward pulled away and smiled wearily.
Taya looked at her lap, unable to meet her sister's gaze.
"I will go with you," Calya added, wiping at her own eyes. "I don't mind."
"Cal, you–"
"No arguments," she interrupted. "I won't let you walk alone."
The fierceness in her tone made Taya wonder just what her sister had dreamed about. I don't want to know, she thought wearily. I will have enough things to haunt my sleep as it is.
Taya Gille
Aspiring Green
Currently Switching into Begging Mode
Endnote: by "begging mode" I mean that my character had dumped her promised, a man named Eos, to bond her sister instead. But the Arches have told her that she cannot bond her sister, and so she is about to crawl back to her former promised and beg his forgiveness. *G* We actually RPd that out, dude it was fun!