Wedding Bells and Baby Blues
'Don't it always seem to go,
But you don't know what you got till it's gone,
They paved paradise,
Put up a parking lot'
By Johnny Mitchell
Sunshine shone through the church window, casting a soft hue of gold across the veiled face of the woman. The man's face couldn't be seen, his nerves had failed him and he kept his back to the congregation, facing the vicar directly.
The veiled woman looked confident and at ease and the expression in her eyes was of contentment.
Claire looked across at Becky, who was staring dreamily at the tableaux, taking place in front of them. Claire sighed happily and felt Leon grip her hand and she looked up into his blue eyes and smiled. She quickly turned to her brother and Jill when she heard the vicar announcing the most important line of the day.
'You may kiss the bride' he said clearly, and Jill's veiled face turned to Chris's. Chris turned to face her, but it wasn't Chris's visage. Chris's hand reached up to remove the veil, but it wasn't Chris's. Claire let out a gasp of surprise and of horror.
'YOU CAN'T MARRY HIM, HE'S A DOG!' she shrieked, rushing forward and barging in between Jill and what looked like to be a Border Collie dog, dressed in a tuxedo.
'AHHHHHHHHHHHH!' screamed Claire, sitting up in a quick violent motion, which managed to send her flying off the bed, entangled in the duvet.
'Claire, what is it?' muttered Leon sleepily, ignoring his girlfriend's uncomfortable position on the floor.
Claire managed to crawl her way back onto the bed, rubbing her head as a stab of pain shot through her temples. Leon sat up and looked at her, an amused expression playing across his sleepy features.
'I'm used to you thrashing around at night, but throwing yourself out of the bed? And stealing all blanket at the same time? That's a new one' commented Leon, smiling faintly.
'Ugghhh' groaned Claire, feeling her hangover headache begin an all-out attack on her temples. 'Weird dream' groaned Claire.
'Bout what?' asked Leon, curious. Claire's escapades at the RPD Dance the night before had been a source of humour, and he wondered how her drunken mind had preserved the evening in her memory.
'Jill nearly married a dog' replied Claire, rubbing her head to try and dull the pain. The Americans and the Iraqis were having a nuclear war in her head now. George Bush had obviously got his way.
'Don't speak so meanly of you brother, he's not that bad' countered Leon jokingly, prodding Claire's back gently.
Claire laughed and sat up in the bed. 'Come on Leon, let's get up now. Get your fat ass downstairs and make me some bagels' ordered Claire, poking Leon's shoulder. Leon sat up and raised his eyebrows.
'Fat ass? You weren't calling my ass fat last night, Claire' responded Leon playfully, grabbing hold of Claire and pulling her down on top of him. Claire was about to kiss him when she stopped abruptly.
'Hmmm?' asked Leon, when Claire didn't continue. Claire looked pained.
'Sorry, George Bush won't let me' groaned Claire, flopping down and placing a pillow on her afflicted head, she promptly fell asleep again.
Leon looked startled at her answer at first, but then let out a low chuckle. He wondered whether the tequila was still working wonders on her brain, and judging by her comment, he decided yes.
Leon wrapped his arms around Claire's waist and felt himself begin to doze off again. Just before his eyes shut he muttered 'George Bush would never beat the love god in loving'.
Jill felt cool and fresh, but at the same time warm and cosy as she lay between the sheets, curled up against Chris's chest. The sun was coming through the windows, a crisp sunrise welcoming her. Jill smiled contentedly and snuggled closely to Chris, happy to lie still and rest.
These feelings were promptly blown away when she felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She sat up quickly and darted to the bathroom, and felt last night's food and drink come out to greet her.
Through her wretches, she saw Chris leaning against the bathroom's doorframe. He quietly came across and sat on the bathtub and after she had finished vomiting, he ran a flannel under cool water and placed it on her forehead.
'Morning sickness…the bane of a pregnant woman' commented Chris lightly, massaging Jill's shoulders.
'I'll be looking like a beached whale before you know it' said Jill pensively, still shaking from heaving so much.
'S'alright. You happen to be a very attractive whale' added Chris, who chuckled when Jill mock punched him in the leg. Jill sighed and Chris stood up, and scooped her up into his arms and carried her back to bed.
'Hey Jill!' greeted Becky, walking into Jill and Chris's kitchen. Jill stood up and greeted her friend with a hug.
'How you doing Becky?' asked Jill a little croakily, smiling weakly. 'Thought you'd be a bit hung over, or a little….tired'.
Becky stood with her hands on her hips, looking at Jill's knowing smile. 'Don't try to fool me, kid, I saw Carlos give you a lift home after the dance'. Becky blushed and jokingly punched Jill in the shoulder.
'Before you ask, no we did not do that' replied Becky, grinning. There was the sound of boots in the hallway, and a dishevelled figure came into view.
'What didn't Bec do? Tell me, cus' I've tried everything, and I'm open to suggestions' wisecracked Claire, her green eyes twinkling, but looking weary.
Bec laughed and reached over and hugged Claire. 'Really Claire, you should have heard some of the sexual revelations you were going on about last night' she quipped, smiling as she remembered the eventful dance.
'I dread to think' moaned Claire, regretting the tequila immensely. She always ended up regretting it, but whenever she was in a party situation, she always finished the night loving it.
Chris walked into the kitchen and greeted the three women. He paused when he took in Claire's somewhat sunken appearance.
'Hey, sis, feeling better?' he asked, grinning as he remembered Claire's escapades in a tree the night before. Claire scowled and didn't reply. Chris turned to Jill and placed a kiss on her head. 'I'll be back at five, so I'll come with you to the doctors'.
'Doctors?' asked Becky. Jill shot Chris a deadly look and pasted a smile onto her face. She was going to make the best out of a bad situation.
'Yeah, Chris is having problems with the pipe work below the equator' replied Jill breezily, ignoring Chris's horror and smiling.
Becky controlled her facial expression and discretely nodded, whilst Claire milked the situation for what it was worth.
'Whoah! Damn Jill, you better get that sorted out before the wedding, can't have you guys sat on your honeymoon playing scrabble now, can we?' piped Claire, waggling her finger at her brother's reddening face.
'Chris sucks at scrabble, so yeah, I plan on getting it fixed as soon as possible, Chris agrees totally, don't you?' asked Jill sweetly, prodding Chris. Chris swallowed and looked pained.
'Yes Jill, gotta be in running order' he replied dutifully, gritting his teeth. Becky looked faintly amused and Chris jumped slightly when he saw Becky's line of vision heading dramatically southwards.
'I'd offer to take a look of course, being trained in medicine and all, but I have a feeling Jill wouldn't like that' joked Becky, eyes still dramatically south.
'Come to think of it, this is a more Claire and Leon type situation, discussing sexual matters over the kitchen table, huh?'
'Leon's pipe work's always in working order though, and damn, don't I appreciate that!' quipped Claire cheekily.
Chris mumbled something unintelligible about 'man's pride and kippers' and sidled out of the kitchen and slipped off to meet Carlos and Leon at the swimming pool.
'Damn, men and doctors….'sighed Claire dramatically. 'C'mon, let's get to work!'
The lounge was soon littered with copies of bridal magazines and the noise was deafening, what with Claire and Jill rowing over which corsage was the nicest, and Bec shouting down the phone to the local pizza takeaway.
'NO ANCHOVIES, YOU GOT IT?' Bec literally screamed into the receiver, whilst Claire had a battle with the armchair and Jill howled over dress prices.
Claire gave up on the armchair and plopped herself on the floor next to Jill who was groaning softly.
'Look at this, plain white dress $850!' lamented Jill. Bec looked over her shoulder and snorted indignantly.
'I could make a dress like that myself in under five minutes for just a fraction of that price' she commented. Claire looked thoughtful.
'Say Jill, you haven't said anything about bridesmaids yet….'hinted Claire. Jill looked up and shrugged. Bec held up her hand.
'In honour of the moment, I vote we have a good old fashioned, girlie talk' she proposed, claiming the armchair Claire had been having difficulty with and throwing a cushion at Jill.
Jill complied and huddled up on the loveseat and Claire stretched out on the sofa.
'Jill, begin with the MOST important topic' invited Bec ceremoniously.
'Seeing as I love you guys, I would really love it if both of you were my bridesmaids' said Jill smiling at them.
Claire whooped and tossed a cushion up into the air and Bec grinned. 'Sherry, to be my flower girl as well'.
Bec made a single dive at Jill's chair and nearly caused it to topple over. She squealed and hugged Jill and Claire staggered over and added her share as well. They slapped hands.
'Just as long as you don't make us wear anything peach colored, then it's cool' said Claire, from beneath the bundle on Jill's chair. Bec grunted an affirmative and Jill did as well, the loveseat was nearly toppling with the weight.
'Sherry will love to be your flower girl, Jill' said Claire, sinking to the floor.
'Thought she might like it, now let's talk about the hen night!' cried Jill cheekily. Claire slanted her eyes.
'As you know, I am the Queen of Nights Out on the Town' began Claire, before Bec broke in.
'Queen? You passed out on the floor last night, that's your idea of being, uhhh, Queenly?' questioned Bec teasingly. Claire shot her a murderous look.
'One rule: I draw a line at strippers, pimp houses and getting naked in public' said Jill firmly. Bec grinned mischievously and poked Claire.
'Guess Claire will have to think of another way to spend Friday night, huh?' teased Bec tugging Claire's auburn hair. Claire shifted enough to give Bec the finger and a particularly pleasant scowl.
'You wait and see, it'll be the best hen night in the history of hen nights!' proclaimed Claire darkly from her position on the floor.
End of Chapter One.
Chicky's Rant:
Well guys, back to writing now. Been a long wait for this first chapter, and I'm sorry if it's not up to my usual standards, I'm suffering an acute attack of writer's block. Some issues:
1. Claire and the others have no idea about the baby YET, so expect humour and friction.
2. Buying wedding dresses, tuxedos, hairstyles, hen nights, stag nights and all the rest, queue hilarity (hopefully)
3. I have a surprise up my sleeve….you have been warned!
'Don't it always seem to go,
But you don't know what you got till it's gone,
They paved paradise,
Put up a parking lot'
By Johnny Mitchell
Sunshine shone through the church window, casting a soft hue of gold across the veiled face of the woman. The man's face couldn't be seen, his nerves had failed him and he kept his back to the congregation, facing the vicar directly.
The veiled woman looked confident and at ease and the expression in her eyes was of contentment.
Claire looked across at Becky, who was staring dreamily at the tableaux, taking place in front of them. Claire sighed happily and felt Leon grip her hand and she looked up into his blue eyes and smiled. She quickly turned to her brother and Jill when she heard the vicar announcing the most important line of the day.
'You may kiss the bride' he said clearly, and Jill's veiled face turned to Chris's. Chris turned to face her, but it wasn't Chris's visage. Chris's hand reached up to remove the veil, but it wasn't Chris's. Claire let out a gasp of surprise and of horror.
'YOU CAN'T MARRY HIM, HE'S A DOG!' she shrieked, rushing forward and barging in between Jill and what looked like to be a Border Collie dog, dressed in a tuxedo.
'AHHHHHHHHHHHH!' screamed Claire, sitting up in a quick violent motion, which managed to send her flying off the bed, entangled in the duvet.
'Claire, what is it?' muttered Leon sleepily, ignoring his girlfriend's uncomfortable position on the floor.
Claire managed to crawl her way back onto the bed, rubbing her head as a stab of pain shot through her temples. Leon sat up and looked at her, an amused expression playing across his sleepy features.
'I'm used to you thrashing around at night, but throwing yourself out of the bed? And stealing all blanket at the same time? That's a new one' commented Leon, smiling faintly.
'Ugghhh' groaned Claire, feeling her hangover headache begin an all-out attack on her temples. 'Weird dream' groaned Claire.
'Bout what?' asked Leon, curious. Claire's escapades at the RPD Dance the night before had been a source of humour, and he wondered how her drunken mind had preserved the evening in her memory.
'Jill nearly married a dog' replied Claire, rubbing her head to try and dull the pain. The Americans and the Iraqis were having a nuclear war in her head now. George Bush had obviously got his way.
'Don't speak so meanly of you brother, he's not that bad' countered Leon jokingly, prodding Claire's back gently.
Claire laughed and sat up in the bed. 'Come on Leon, let's get up now. Get your fat ass downstairs and make me some bagels' ordered Claire, poking Leon's shoulder. Leon sat up and raised his eyebrows.
'Fat ass? You weren't calling my ass fat last night, Claire' responded Leon playfully, grabbing hold of Claire and pulling her down on top of him. Claire was about to kiss him when she stopped abruptly.
'Hmmm?' asked Leon, when Claire didn't continue. Claire looked pained.
'Sorry, George Bush won't let me' groaned Claire, flopping down and placing a pillow on her afflicted head, she promptly fell asleep again.
Leon looked startled at her answer at first, but then let out a low chuckle. He wondered whether the tequila was still working wonders on her brain, and judging by her comment, he decided yes.
Leon wrapped his arms around Claire's waist and felt himself begin to doze off again. Just before his eyes shut he muttered 'George Bush would never beat the love god in loving'.
Jill felt cool and fresh, but at the same time warm and cosy as she lay between the sheets, curled up against Chris's chest. The sun was coming through the windows, a crisp sunrise welcoming her. Jill smiled contentedly and snuggled closely to Chris, happy to lie still and rest.
These feelings were promptly blown away when she felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She sat up quickly and darted to the bathroom, and felt last night's food and drink come out to greet her.
Through her wretches, she saw Chris leaning against the bathroom's doorframe. He quietly came across and sat on the bathtub and after she had finished vomiting, he ran a flannel under cool water and placed it on her forehead.
'Morning sickness…the bane of a pregnant woman' commented Chris lightly, massaging Jill's shoulders.
'I'll be looking like a beached whale before you know it' said Jill pensively, still shaking from heaving so much.
'S'alright. You happen to be a very attractive whale' added Chris, who chuckled when Jill mock punched him in the leg. Jill sighed and Chris stood up, and scooped her up into his arms and carried her back to bed.
'Hey Jill!' greeted Becky, walking into Jill and Chris's kitchen. Jill stood up and greeted her friend with a hug.
'How you doing Becky?' asked Jill a little croakily, smiling weakly. 'Thought you'd be a bit hung over, or a little….tired'.
Becky stood with her hands on her hips, looking at Jill's knowing smile. 'Don't try to fool me, kid, I saw Carlos give you a lift home after the dance'. Becky blushed and jokingly punched Jill in the shoulder.
'Before you ask, no we did not do that' replied Becky, grinning. There was the sound of boots in the hallway, and a dishevelled figure came into view.
'What didn't Bec do? Tell me, cus' I've tried everything, and I'm open to suggestions' wisecracked Claire, her green eyes twinkling, but looking weary.
Bec laughed and reached over and hugged Claire. 'Really Claire, you should have heard some of the sexual revelations you were going on about last night' she quipped, smiling as she remembered the eventful dance.
'I dread to think' moaned Claire, regretting the tequila immensely. She always ended up regretting it, but whenever she was in a party situation, she always finished the night loving it.
Chris walked into the kitchen and greeted the three women. He paused when he took in Claire's somewhat sunken appearance.
'Hey, sis, feeling better?' he asked, grinning as he remembered Claire's escapades in a tree the night before. Claire scowled and didn't reply. Chris turned to Jill and placed a kiss on her head. 'I'll be back at five, so I'll come with you to the doctors'.
'Doctors?' asked Becky. Jill shot Chris a deadly look and pasted a smile onto her face. She was going to make the best out of a bad situation.
'Yeah, Chris is having problems with the pipe work below the equator' replied Jill breezily, ignoring Chris's horror and smiling.
Becky controlled her facial expression and discretely nodded, whilst Claire milked the situation for what it was worth.
'Whoah! Damn Jill, you better get that sorted out before the wedding, can't have you guys sat on your honeymoon playing scrabble now, can we?' piped Claire, waggling her finger at her brother's reddening face.
'Chris sucks at scrabble, so yeah, I plan on getting it fixed as soon as possible, Chris agrees totally, don't you?' asked Jill sweetly, prodding Chris. Chris swallowed and looked pained.
'Yes Jill, gotta be in running order' he replied dutifully, gritting his teeth. Becky looked faintly amused and Chris jumped slightly when he saw Becky's line of vision heading dramatically southwards.
'I'd offer to take a look of course, being trained in medicine and all, but I have a feeling Jill wouldn't like that' joked Becky, eyes still dramatically south.
'Come to think of it, this is a more Claire and Leon type situation, discussing sexual matters over the kitchen table, huh?'
'Leon's pipe work's always in working order though, and damn, don't I appreciate that!' quipped Claire cheekily.
Chris mumbled something unintelligible about 'man's pride and kippers' and sidled out of the kitchen and slipped off to meet Carlos and Leon at the swimming pool.
'Damn, men and doctors….'sighed Claire dramatically. 'C'mon, let's get to work!'
The lounge was soon littered with copies of bridal magazines and the noise was deafening, what with Claire and Jill rowing over which corsage was the nicest, and Bec shouting down the phone to the local pizza takeaway.
'NO ANCHOVIES, YOU GOT IT?' Bec literally screamed into the receiver, whilst Claire had a battle with the armchair and Jill howled over dress prices.
Claire gave up on the armchair and plopped herself on the floor next to Jill who was groaning softly.
'Look at this, plain white dress $850!' lamented Jill. Bec looked over her shoulder and snorted indignantly.
'I could make a dress like that myself in under five minutes for just a fraction of that price' she commented. Claire looked thoughtful.
'Say Jill, you haven't said anything about bridesmaids yet….'hinted Claire. Jill looked up and shrugged. Bec held up her hand.
'In honour of the moment, I vote we have a good old fashioned, girlie talk' she proposed, claiming the armchair Claire had been having difficulty with and throwing a cushion at Jill.
Jill complied and huddled up on the loveseat and Claire stretched out on the sofa.
'Jill, begin with the MOST important topic' invited Bec ceremoniously.
'Seeing as I love you guys, I would really love it if both of you were my bridesmaids' said Jill smiling at them.
Claire whooped and tossed a cushion up into the air and Bec grinned. 'Sherry, to be my flower girl as well'.
Bec made a single dive at Jill's chair and nearly caused it to topple over. She squealed and hugged Jill and Claire staggered over and added her share as well. They slapped hands.
'Just as long as you don't make us wear anything peach colored, then it's cool' said Claire, from beneath the bundle on Jill's chair. Bec grunted an affirmative and Jill did as well, the loveseat was nearly toppling with the weight.
'Sherry will love to be your flower girl, Jill' said Claire, sinking to the floor.
'Thought she might like it, now let's talk about the hen night!' cried Jill cheekily. Claire slanted her eyes.
'As you know, I am the Queen of Nights Out on the Town' began Claire, before Bec broke in.
'Queen? You passed out on the floor last night, that's your idea of being, uhhh, Queenly?' questioned Bec teasingly. Claire shot her a murderous look.
'One rule: I draw a line at strippers, pimp houses and getting naked in public' said Jill firmly. Bec grinned mischievously and poked Claire.
'Guess Claire will have to think of another way to spend Friday night, huh?' teased Bec tugging Claire's auburn hair. Claire shifted enough to give Bec the finger and a particularly pleasant scowl.
'You wait and see, it'll be the best hen night in the history of hen nights!' proclaimed Claire darkly from her position on the floor.
End of Chapter One.
Chicky's Rant:
Well guys, back to writing now. Been a long wait for this first chapter, and I'm sorry if it's not up to my usual standards, I'm suffering an acute attack of writer's block. Some issues:
1. Claire and the others have no idea about the baby YET, so expect humour and friction.
2. Buying wedding dresses, tuxedos, hairstyles, hen nights, stag nights and all the rest, queue hilarity (hopefully)
3. I have a surprise up my sleeve….you have been warned!