Chapter 8: Mercedes, Eric and Frodo
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"Sullivan, this is ridiculous! Your cell phone's dead and I've left you about five hundred messages on your stupid answering machine at home but you still haven't called me back. I've apologized to you more times today than I have to *anyone* in my entire life! I actually had my secretary call your home every five minutes for the past hour. I think she's having a nervous break down. I'd drive to Smallville and yell at you, but if you weren't aware of it, I'm getting married today! Curious about who she is, aren't you...? Well if you bothered to CALL me then I might tell you. Are you mad enough to miss me pledge my eternal love to a woman who I don't even like? I contemplated inviting Clark but he's still mad at me about... uh... I can't really remember what he was mad about, he gets really defensive. If he were a woman I'd blame it on PMS, but he has no excuse. I guess I should go get prepared for the wedding...you better be there Sullivan..."
Lex hung up the phone and spun around in his chair to look out the window. For some reason it was annoying the hell out of him that he and Chloe had spoken to each other since yesterday's stupid necklace incident. Thanks to her he'd had his ego and his ankle bruised in the same day and he wasn't handling it very well. He'd never had a woman stay this mad at him for so long for trying to buy her an expensive gift...Just then the phone rang.
"Chloe?"
"No, Alex... it's Mercedes... the woman you're marrying in five hours?"
"Oh, right, sorry. I'm still trying to figure the world of caller ID."
"Who's Chloe?"
"Uh, that would be my lawyer... Chloetsky. He's Russian."
"Chloetsky? Okay... I take it you're tying up the ends of our agreement?"
"That would be accurate."
"That's great! It's not very often a millionaire proposes and then offers to throw me the wedding of my dreams."
"What can I say, I'm a nice guy. Not to mention of course that I needed to find someone I could trust with half my fortune for a year."
"Well, I'm glad you had the sense to propose to me first. You know I'd never betray you, I'm not dumb enough to want you as an enemy. Anyway, I'm e-mailing the wedding invitations because it's all very last minute. I'm sending you one so you can forward it to your guests. Try not to invite too many okay? I have a very large family; they're going to take up most of the space. Oh and do you have any personal preferences for the flowers?"
"Nope."
"Good. Now I was wondering how to break us up? I know we have a year to decide, but I was thinking that we could get a divorce because you cheated on me? We could stage something on the day of our anniversary, make it very grand and theatrical with lots of yelling?"
"Sure."
"Okay, now are you still taking care of the limousine?"
"Yep."
"That's great. What else? Oh yes- I had to tell you that my cat Foo-Foo will be the official ring bearer. She'll follow me down the aisle and-"
"Your cat? I... don't think that's a good idea you see I'm... allergic to cats! I could fall over and die and then where would we be?"
"Aw... okay, I'll have to break the news to Foo-Foo gently. Now let's talk about the color of your tux? I'm going with an orange theme so I was thinking-"
"Oh, Mercedes, I'm sorry to do this but I have another call coming It's very important so I'll see you at the church later, bye!"
Lex hung up the phone briskly, releasing a sigh of relief. He got up and went over to pour himself a drink. At least he could have a few moments of peace before chaining himself to that woman for a year.
"I can't believe I have to marry her," he mumbled to himself, "I have to wake up every single morning to that annoying voice... but I don't have a choice. Now I'm rhyming... and talking to myself. I'm going insane. I should write a book: how to go from billionaire to mental patient in one year."
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Chloe skillfully balanced two shopping bags and her purse in one hand and with a grunt, unlocked her front door.
"I'm home! Where's my big boy?" she yelled, dumping the bags on the floor.
The ground vibrated slightly with the sound of running feet. Chloe saw a streak of blonde as a massive golden retriever jumped up at her.
"Ruff!"
"Frodo! How have you been? I'm sorry mommy went away for so long. Some stupid waitress couldn't get my coffee order right." Chloe said in a crooning tone that she only used with her dog while giving his long golden coat a pet. The animal looked up at her with bright brown eyes, wagging his tail around frantically.
"Did anyone call while I was away? Maybe someone with an irritatingly egotistical and arrogant voice?" Chloe asked curiously, going into the livingroom to check her messages. She wasn't *expecting* him to call, but she'd just been thinking about him for the entire day. Not that she cared if he did happen to call... nope... didn't care at all. He'd been a jerk for insulting her like that. Then again she'd been quite surprised when she read in the newspaper about how LexCorp dissolved Vivian's jewelers in one fatal sweep. In some sadistic way it had been rather sweet of him.
Chloe walked into the livingroom and stopped suddenly when she saw the sight before her.
"Bad boy Frodo!" she yelled, when saw the phone and answering machine crunched up into various pieces and scattered around the floor.
"We discussed this before. Under no circumstances are you to eat the telephone! What if it was important?! What if the world had run out of doggy kibble and we never heard about it? Then where would we be?"
"Ruff...?"
"Fine, you're forgiven... so did you destroy eat laptop too or did the phone manage to fill up that colossal hunger of yours?"
"Ruff!"
"I'm glad to here it."
Chloe made her way up to her room, closely followed by Frodo and snapped open the laptop that lay on her desk. She began filtering through the junk mail.
"Save money next time you buy a ferret... Free shipping and handling for your five thousand dollar pencil sharpener... click here to win a trip to Iceland... follow the link to find your soul mate... wedding invitation from Lex... oh, that could be important."
Chloe clicked the message and a lilac pink scroll appeared on the screen with falling hearts. The girl rolled her eyes at the tacky invitation. Getting the cheaper ring for this woman was definitely the right thing to do. She scrolled down to read the message.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of
Alexander Luthor
&
Mercedes Jennifer Tyler Paris Finch
Guests are asked to arrive at the Metropolis Central Church at 5pm
Private Message
Sullivan!
If you were wondering, I had nothing to do with the design and/or layout of this invitation. That, and everything else in this damn wedding I left to my fiancée. Since you haven't returned any of my calls I assume that you are still angry because I tried to buy you that ruby necklace... most women would have jumped at the chance, but I momentarily for got that you were Chloe Sullivan and are nothing like most woman. Not that I think of you as a man, because I don't. That would just be awkward and disturbing. I have a headache... I think the painkillers I took are disrupting my brain chemistry.
Please come to the wedding?
~Lex
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
Chloe sighed and leaned back in her seat. Okay, so maybe she'd overreacted a little yesterday at the ring store, and apparently Lex had apologized to her multiple times. It was a pity Frodo had eaten all the messages. Chloe glanced at the screen again, reading the name below Lex's.
"Mercedes Jennifer Tyler Paris Finch?" she said distastefully. "If my parents named me that I'd shoot myself."
The girl stared at the invitation for a while before deciding that she needed to go. Firstly, she had to find out more about this woman to whom Lex would be giving away a year of his life. She did a quick search on the internet, but couldn't find anything concrete. Chloe plugged her dead cell phone into the charger and hit the speed dial.
"Ugh... mom, stop calling me... it's too early."
"This isn't your mother, Eric, and it's not early." Chloe stated slowly.
"Chlo! It's good to hear your voice, now why don't you call me back when I'm awake?"
"Wait Eric! This is really, really important. It's about a woman named Mercedes Jennifer Tyler Paris Finch. I need info on her, so get off you butt and help me."
"You know, I can't wait for you to move back to Metropolis- I swear, those people in that cow town ruined you Chloe. Is this how best friends treat each other?"
"You owe me! Remember that time in grade three when you tried to stick a bug up your nose? Who was there to hit you on the head and tell you it was a bad idea?"
"Fine, fine. Gimme a second."
shuffle
"Do you have anything yet?"
"No, I'm still trying to find my pants."
"Thanks for the mental image."
"No problem. Mercedes Finch... Okay here we are. Wow! She's a looker, if I swung that way I'd be turned on right now."
"Swung what way?"
"Uh, never mind. Well, it looks like she fits your standard serial killer bio. Barely graduated from high school in '99... got her degree in make-up and beauty, then launched her own business line called Finch's Beauty."
"Wow, points for originality on the name."
"No kidding."
"I don't understand how she got the funding for that sort of thing?"
"Looks like she just worked her way up. I don't see anything corrupt here, Chlo... she seems like a very sincere airhead."
"Are you sure? No dark past... criminal record... a third eye on her forehead? Nothing?"
"Sorry hun, she one hundred percent- oh wait a second..."
"What? It's the third eye isn't it?"
"Finch isn't her real last name, she had it l legally changed seven years ago. She's Mercedes Guevara."
"You mean one of the Gotham Guevara's?"
"Yep... a distant cousin. She just joined the family business a few years ago; from what I remember they've been trying to break down other industries to build up their own. Last I heard they were after LuthorCorp. Why the sudden fascination with this woman anyway?"
"She's marrying Lex Luthor in a few hours."
"Ah... I should have assumed this would be about your boy Lex."
"What's that supposed to mean? And he's not my boy!"
"You sent me a 5K e-mail describing what an ass he is. It's obvious he's the only thing you can think of."
"Don't be a moron. Now help me figure out what to do!"
"Well... if Miss Guevara marries a Lex then she'd be entrusted with half his shares. She'll obviously use them to bring LuthorCorp down for good, maybe even go after LexCorp? Yep, Mercedes is going to screw Lex- in the bad way I mean. These business people are all lying snakes, you can't trust any of them."
"Hey, Lex isn't like that!"
"Well, maybe not to *you* he isn't. Now you know I love you Chloe, but I have this thing I like to do on Saturdays. It's called sleep."
"You do that. I have to go or else I'll never be there on time."
"Where? On time for what?"
"To crash the wedding!"
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Please review ^__^
Ha! Take that Microsoft Word! I wrote a whole other chapter and remembered to save it!
*glares at computer*
Anyway, I needed to introduce Frodo (Chloe's doggy) who will end up making Lex's life hell and of course Chloe's gay best friend Eric who hasn't told Chloe about his gayness yet (I needed another character to substitute for Clark and Lana). Mercedes is just occupying space till I get Chloe and Lex alone together in the limousine, but that's another chapter.
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"Sullivan, this is ridiculous! Your cell phone's dead and I've left you about five hundred messages on your stupid answering machine at home but you still haven't called me back. I've apologized to you more times today than I have to *anyone* in my entire life! I actually had my secretary call your home every five minutes for the past hour. I think she's having a nervous break down. I'd drive to Smallville and yell at you, but if you weren't aware of it, I'm getting married today! Curious about who she is, aren't you...? Well if you bothered to CALL me then I might tell you. Are you mad enough to miss me pledge my eternal love to a woman who I don't even like? I contemplated inviting Clark but he's still mad at me about... uh... I can't really remember what he was mad about, he gets really defensive. If he were a woman I'd blame it on PMS, but he has no excuse. I guess I should go get prepared for the wedding...you better be there Sullivan..."
Lex hung up the phone and spun around in his chair to look out the window. For some reason it was annoying the hell out of him that he and Chloe had spoken to each other since yesterday's stupid necklace incident. Thanks to her he'd had his ego and his ankle bruised in the same day and he wasn't handling it very well. He'd never had a woman stay this mad at him for so long for trying to buy her an expensive gift...Just then the phone rang.
"Chloe?"
"No, Alex... it's Mercedes... the woman you're marrying in five hours?"
"Oh, right, sorry. I'm still trying to figure the world of caller ID."
"Who's Chloe?"
"Uh, that would be my lawyer... Chloetsky. He's Russian."
"Chloetsky? Okay... I take it you're tying up the ends of our agreement?"
"That would be accurate."
"That's great! It's not very often a millionaire proposes and then offers to throw me the wedding of my dreams."
"What can I say, I'm a nice guy. Not to mention of course that I needed to find someone I could trust with half my fortune for a year."
"Well, I'm glad you had the sense to propose to me first. You know I'd never betray you, I'm not dumb enough to want you as an enemy. Anyway, I'm e-mailing the wedding invitations because it's all very last minute. I'm sending you one so you can forward it to your guests. Try not to invite too many okay? I have a very large family; they're going to take up most of the space. Oh and do you have any personal preferences for the flowers?"
"Nope."
"Good. Now I was wondering how to break us up? I know we have a year to decide, but I was thinking that we could get a divorce because you cheated on me? We could stage something on the day of our anniversary, make it very grand and theatrical with lots of yelling?"
"Sure."
"Okay, now are you still taking care of the limousine?"
"Yep."
"That's great. What else? Oh yes- I had to tell you that my cat Foo-Foo will be the official ring bearer. She'll follow me down the aisle and-"
"Your cat? I... don't think that's a good idea you see I'm... allergic to cats! I could fall over and die and then where would we be?"
"Aw... okay, I'll have to break the news to Foo-Foo gently. Now let's talk about the color of your tux? I'm going with an orange theme so I was thinking-"
"Oh, Mercedes, I'm sorry to do this but I have another call coming It's very important so I'll see you at the church later, bye!"
Lex hung up the phone briskly, releasing a sigh of relief. He got up and went over to pour himself a drink. At least he could have a few moments of peace before chaining himself to that woman for a year.
"I can't believe I have to marry her," he mumbled to himself, "I have to wake up every single morning to that annoying voice... but I don't have a choice. Now I'm rhyming... and talking to myself. I'm going insane. I should write a book: how to go from billionaire to mental patient in one year."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chloe skillfully balanced two shopping bags and her purse in one hand and with a grunt, unlocked her front door.
"I'm home! Where's my big boy?" she yelled, dumping the bags on the floor.
The ground vibrated slightly with the sound of running feet. Chloe saw a streak of blonde as a massive golden retriever jumped up at her.
"Ruff!"
"Frodo! How have you been? I'm sorry mommy went away for so long. Some stupid waitress couldn't get my coffee order right." Chloe said in a crooning tone that she only used with her dog while giving his long golden coat a pet. The animal looked up at her with bright brown eyes, wagging his tail around frantically.
"Did anyone call while I was away? Maybe someone with an irritatingly egotistical and arrogant voice?" Chloe asked curiously, going into the livingroom to check her messages. She wasn't *expecting* him to call, but she'd just been thinking about him for the entire day. Not that she cared if he did happen to call... nope... didn't care at all. He'd been a jerk for insulting her like that. Then again she'd been quite surprised when she read in the newspaper about how LexCorp dissolved Vivian's jewelers in one fatal sweep. In some sadistic way it had been rather sweet of him.
Chloe walked into the livingroom and stopped suddenly when she saw the sight before her.
"Bad boy Frodo!" she yelled, when saw the phone and answering machine crunched up into various pieces and scattered around the floor.
"We discussed this before. Under no circumstances are you to eat the telephone! What if it was important?! What if the world had run out of doggy kibble and we never heard about it? Then where would we be?"
"Ruff...?"
"Fine, you're forgiven... so did you destroy eat laptop too or did the phone manage to fill up that colossal hunger of yours?"
"Ruff!"
"I'm glad to here it."
Chloe made her way up to her room, closely followed by Frodo and snapped open the laptop that lay on her desk. She began filtering through the junk mail.
"Save money next time you buy a ferret... Free shipping and handling for your five thousand dollar pencil sharpener... click here to win a trip to Iceland... follow the link to find your soul mate... wedding invitation from Lex... oh, that could be important."
Chloe clicked the message and a lilac pink scroll appeared on the screen with falling hearts. The girl rolled her eyes at the tacky invitation. Getting the cheaper ring for this woman was definitely the right thing to do. She scrolled down to read the message.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of
Alexander Luthor
&
Mercedes Jennifer Tyler Paris Finch
Guests are asked to arrive at the Metropolis Central Church at 5pm
Private Message
Sullivan!
If you were wondering, I had nothing to do with the design and/or layout of this invitation. That, and everything else in this damn wedding I left to my fiancée. Since you haven't returned any of my calls I assume that you are still angry because I tried to buy you that ruby necklace... most women would have jumped at the chance, but I momentarily for got that you were Chloe Sullivan and are nothing like most woman. Not that I think of you as a man, because I don't. That would just be awkward and disturbing. I have a headache... I think the painkillers I took are disrupting my brain chemistry.
Please come to the wedding?
~Lex
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
Chloe sighed and leaned back in her seat. Okay, so maybe she'd overreacted a little yesterday at the ring store, and apparently Lex had apologized to her multiple times. It was a pity Frodo had eaten all the messages. Chloe glanced at the screen again, reading the name below Lex's.
"Mercedes Jennifer Tyler Paris Finch?" she said distastefully. "If my parents named me that I'd shoot myself."
The girl stared at the invitation for a while before deciding that she needed to go. Firstly, she had to find out more about this woman to whom Lex would be giving away a year of his life. She did a quick search on the internet, but couldn't find anything concrete. Chloe plugged her dead cell phone into the charger and hit the speed dial.
"Ugh... mom, stop calling me... it's too early."
"This isn't your mother, Eric, and it's not early." Chloe stated slowly.
"Chlo! It's good to hear your voice, now why don't you call me back when I'm awake?"
"Wait Eric! This is really, really important. It's about a woman named Mercedes Jennifer Tyler Paris Finch. I need info on her, so get off you butt and help me."
"You know, I can't wait for you to move back to Metropolis- I swear, those people in that cow town ruined you Chloe. Is this how best friends treat each other?"
"You owe me! Remember that time in grade three when you tried to stick a bug up your nose? Who was there to hit you on the head and tell you it was a bad idea?"
"Fine, fine. Gimme a second."
shuffle
"Do you have anything yet?"
"No, I'm still trying to find my pants."
"Thanks for the mental image."
"No problem. Mercedes Finch... Okay here we are. Wow! She's a looker, if I swung that way I'd be turned on right now."
"Swung what way?"
"Uh, never mind. Well, it looks like she fits your standard serial killer bio. Barely graduated from high school in '99... got her degree in make-up and beauty, then launched her own business line called Finch's Beauty."
"Wow, points for originality on the name."
"No kidding."
"I don't understand how she got the funding for that sort of thing?"
"Looks like she just worked her way up. I don't see anything corrupt here, Chlo... she seems like a very sincere airhead."
"Are you sure? No dark past... criminal record... a third eye on her forehead? Nothing?"
"Sorry hun, she one hundred percent- oh wait a second..."
"What? It's the third eye isn't it?"
"Finch isn't her real last name, she had it l legally changed seven years ago. She's Mercedes Guevara."
"You mean one of the Gotham Guevara's?"
"Yep... a distant cousin. She just joined the family business a few years ago; from what I remember they've been trying to break down other industries to build up their own. Last I heard they were after LuthorCorp. Why the sudden fascination with this woman anyway?"
"She's marrying Lex Luthor in a few hours."
"Ah... I should have assumed this would be about your boy Lex."
"What's that supposed to mean? And he's not my boy!"
"You sent me a 5K e-mail describing what an ass he is. It's obvious he's the only thing you can think of."
"Don't be a moron. Now help me figure out what to do!"
"Well... if Miss Guevara marries a Lex then she'd be entrusted with half his shares. She'll obviously use them to bring LuthorCorp down for good, maybe even go after LexCorp? Yep, Mercedes is going to screw Lex- in the bad way I mean. These business people are all lying snakes, you can't trust any of them."
"Hey, Lex isn't like that!"
"Well, maybe not to *you* he isn't. Now you know I love you Chloe, but I have this thing I like to do on Saturdays. It's called sleep."
"You do that. I have to go or else I'll never be there on time."
"Where? On time for what?"
"To crash the wedding!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Please review ^__^
Ha! Take that Microsoft Word! I wrote a whole other chapter and remembered to save it!
*glares at computer*
Anyway, I needed to introduce Frodo (Chloe's doggy) who will end up making Lex's life hell and of course Chloe's gay best friend Eric who hasn't told Chloe about his gayness yet (I needed another character to substitute for Clark and Lana). Mercedes is just occupying space till I get Chloe and Lex alone together in the limousine, but that's another chapter.