David Boreanaz
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
ring, ring, ring
"Sylvia! Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to-"
"Engaged...? Oh, well... does that mean you two are getting serious?"
click
"Are you there?"
(37 seconds layer)
Hey there Crystal, I was wondering if you'd liked to go out-
pause
"Married... ? oh... well how's that working out for you?"
click
"Hello? Hello.?"
(Another 37 seconds later)
"Hey, it's me, Lex. I know we kind of slept together then lost contact but- "
*insert angry female sounds*
"O-Okay, so I never called, but I want you to know I really missed you. You're the only one I've thought of for the past few months. I love you Andrea..."
*Louder, angrier female sounds*
"Amy! That's what I said! Amy! Of course I didn't forget-"
click
(And another 37 seconds later)
"Kristin, it's Lex Luthor please don't hang up... thank you... I'm glad you're willing to talk to me... yes we did have some good times together. well of course I missed you. there's something I want to ask you- and I'm kind of on a deadline so feel free to say yes right away. Would you marry me?"
pause
"Really?! That's great! What do you mean there's been a small development since we last dated? How small?"
pause
"Sex change?!"
Lex hung up the phone and crossed off the last name on his long list. He'd spent the entire morning combing through names of possible brides. So far he'd come up empty and time was running out.
Lex grabbed the phone; "Get me Chloe Sullivan on the line."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Chloe... there's something I have to tell you... I've been wanting to say this for a long time now..." Eric said, running a hand through his dark blonde hair.
Chloe and her friend sat in the Sullivan lounge, deep in conversation. The two had spent the entire day packing Chloe's stuff into boxes to be moved to her dorm in Metropolis that evening- and now they were enjoying one last cup of coffee in the home before leaving.
"You're not going to confess your undying love for me are you?" Chloe asked suspiciously.
"Hell no!"
"Thank God. Okay, well do you have some sort of life threatening disease...and more importantly, is it contagious?" Chloe asked, holding the cushion in front of her as a shield.
"No Chloe, I'm fine- but thanks for the concern." he said grabbing the cushion away from her and hitting her over the head with it.
"Ow! Well will you just tell me this fascinating news already?" she asked, rolling her eyes.
"Um.there's something that I've never told anyone... not even my parents."
"Oh my God! You're really a woman!"
"Can we let me tell the story?"
"Sorry- go on."
"I'm gay."
"Ha! I was close!"
"I mean I'm gay! As in my fantasies "Involve naked men wrestling in the mud."
"Hm.... naked men... mud."
"Hey pay attention!"
"Sorry. So you're gay. Good for you. Yay for gay pride and whatnot"
"Well aren't you going to say anything?"
"Well what do you want? A coming out party? Seriously Eric- I knew this was coming."
"Really?" he asked, his eyes brightening up with excitement, "When exactly did my gayness shine through?"
"Hm... well how about the time you helped me pick out my very first bra- you seemed to have a natural instinct for that sort of thing. Then of course in high school when only the most popular girl asked you to that dance but you were busy staring at the guy's basketball team who'd just got out of the showers. Then lets not forget the time we slept together. My goodness I seriously thought you were picturing Josh Hartnett."
"David Boreanaz actually."
"Really? Well that's not that bad then- but still freaky on a disturbingly kinky level."
"Hey, I'm not the one who owns a pair of handcuffs."
"It's a souvenir!"
"Ah yes... from your frolicking with Lex."
"Twelve year old girls frolic. Lex Luthor doesn't frolic..."
Chloe trailed off, remembering their fleeting time in the limo where he'd worn nothing but that wrinkled white shirt and boxers. and of course socks- but she hadn't been looking at his socks. Nope. it was all about his eyes and the way they danced around hungrily as he'd bent down to her neck twirling his tongue around like he was everywhere at once.
"Holy crap, you're in love with him!"
"What? Don't be stupid. I don't fall in love."
"Chloe and Lex... sitting in a tree..."
"Oh, my God... forget gay you're just immature! Trust me, I like being around the man, but he's just not interested in me like that. I'm not either and if I was it wouldn't matter because he's getting married."
"So what? He's not married yet... you need to grab his attention. Wear some thing short- put a little lipstick on."
"Don't be ridiculous . I-"
Their conversation was interrupted by the rude ringing of the doorbell.
"Ugh, I'll get that- don't break anything while I'm gone." She mumbled, heading out the lounge.
Eric have her a wide grin as she left, putting his legs up onto the table as the dog came into the room jumped onto his lap.
"Frodo... this was much cuter when you weighed less than the continent of Asia." Eric stated, getting up off the seat in effort to move the huge animal.
A cell phone that lay on the couch went off with a shrill ringing and Eric reached for it.
"Chloe Sullivan's phone, how may I help you?" he asked cheerfully.
"Who is this?"
"Chloe's friend."
"Which friend?"
"The one you're talking to. Who is this?"
"Lex Luthor. Put Chloe on the line."
Eric's grin widened. This was Chloe's Luthor- the guy she didn't know she liked yet... He began to formulate a plan. As her gay best friend it was his duty to help Chloe get her man! A little play on Lex's jealous streak was all that was needed... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
ring, ring, ring
"Sylvia! Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to-"
"Engaged...? Oh, well... does that mean you two are getting serious?"
click
"Are you there?"
(37 seconds layer)
Hey there Crystal, I was wondering if you'd liked to go out-
pause
"Married... ? oh... well how's that working out for you?"
click
"Hello? Hello.?"
(Another 37 seconds later)
"Hey, it's me, Lex. I know we kind of slept together then lost contact but- "
*insert angry female sounds*
"O-Okay, so I never called, but I want you to know I really missed you. You're the only one I've thought of for the past few months. I love you Andrea..."
*Louder, angrier female sounds*
"Amy! That's what I said! Amy! Of course I didn't forget-"
click
(And another 37 seconds later)
"Kristin, it's Lex Luthor please don't hang up... thank you... I'm glad you're willing to talk to me... yes we did have some good times together. well of course I missed you. there's something I want to ask you- and I'm kind of on a deadline so feel free to say yes right away. Would you marry me?"
pause
"Really?! That's great! What do you mean there's been a small development since we last dated? How small?"
pause
"Sex change?!"
Lex hung up the phone and crossed off the last name on his long list. He'd spent the entire morning combing through names of possible brides. So far he'd come up empty and time was running out.
Lex grabbed the phone; "Get me Chloe Sullivan on the line."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Chloe... there's something I have to tell you... I've been wanting to say this for a long time now..." Eric said, running a hand through his dark blonde hair.
Chloe and her friend sat in the Sullivan lounge, deep in conversation. The two had spent the entire day packing Chloe's stuff into boxes to be moved to her dorm in Metropolis that evening- and now they were enjoying one last cup of coffee in the home before leaving.
"You're not going to confess your undying love for me are you?" Chloe asked suspiciously.
"Hell no!"
"Thank God. Okay, well do you have some sort of life threatening disease...and more importantly, is it contagious?" Chloe asked, holding the cushion in front of her as a shield.
"No Chloe, I'm fine- but thanks for the concern." he said grabbing the cushion away from her and hitting her over the head with it.
"Ow! Well will you just tell me this fascinating news already?" she asked, rolling her eyes.
"Um.there's something that I've never told anyone... not even my parents."
"Oh my God! You're really a woman!"
"Can we let me tell the story?"
"Sorry- go on."
"I'm gay."
"Ha! I was close!"
"I mean I'm gay! As in my fantasies "Involve naked men wrestling in the mud."
"Hm.... naked men... mud."
"Hey pay attention!"
"Sorry. So you're gay. Good for you. Yay for gay pride and whatnot"
"Well aren't you going to say anything?"
"Well what do you want? A coming out party? Seriously Eric- I knew this was coming."
"Really?" he asked, his eyes brightening up with excitement, "When exactly did my gayness shine through?"
"Hm... well how about the time you helped me pick out my very first bra- you seemed to have a natural instinct for that sort of thing. Then of course in high school when only the most popular girl asked you to that dance but you were busy staring at the guy's basketball team who'd just got out of the showers. Then lets not forget the time we slept together. My goodness I seriously thought you were picturing Josh Hartnett."
"David Boreanaz actually."
"Really? Well that's not that bad then- but still freaky on a disturbingly kinky level."
"Hey, I'm not the one who owns a pair of handcuffs."
"It's a souvenir!"
"Ah yes... from your frolicking with Lex."
"Twelve year old girls frolic. Lex Luthor doesn't frolic..."
Chloe trailed off, remembering their fleeting time in the limo where he'd worn nothing but that wrinkled white shirt and boxers. and of course socks- but she hadn't been looking at his socks. Nope. it was all about his eyes and the way they danced around hungrily as he'd bent down to her neck twirling his tongue around like he was everywhere at once.
"Holy crap, you're in love with him!"
"What? Don't be stupid. I don't fall in love."
"Chloe and Lex... sitting in a tree..."
"Oh, my God... forget gay you're just immature! Trust me, I like being around the man, but he's just not interested in me like that. I'm not either and if I was it wouldn't matter because he's getting married."
"So what? He's not married yet... you need to grab his attention. Wear some thing short- put a little lipstick on."
"Don't be ridiculous . I-"
Their conversation was interrupted by the rude ringing of the doorbell.
"Ugh, I'll get that- don't break anything while I'm gone." She mumbled, heading out the lounge.
Eric have her a wide grin as she left, putting his legs up onto the table as the dog came into the room jumped onto his lap.
"Frodo... this was much cuter when you weighed less than the continent of Asia." Eric stated, getting up off the seat in effort to move the huge animal.
A cell phone that lay on the couch went off with a shrill ringing and Eric reached for it.
"Chloe Sullivan's phone, how may I help you?" he asked cheerfully.
"Who is this?"
"Chloe's friend."
"Which friend?"
"The one you're talking to. Who is this?"
"Lex Luthor. Put Chloe on the line."
Eric's grin widened. This was Chloe's Luthor- the guy she didn't know she liked yet... He began to formulate a plan. As her gay best friend it was his duty to help Chloe get her man! A little play on Lex's jealous streak was all that was needed... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*