Whisper Of Life Part 3
Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda. Same thing as before, never owned them never will.
Authors Note: Okay guys, this might be it until the weekend. I have real life to tend to then I'm jumpin back into this one. Can't wait. Anyway, got the next chapter halfway done. I may post it as two parts (a and b) not sure. It's looking to be pretty long, but whatever. I'll just go with it. Thanks for all the cool reviews again!!! You guys are the best.
Floating. Hovering between one place and the other. So restful, you think. So calm and so inviting. And once again, something is beckoning you. But this time it is not to give in to the pain. Nor to the fear. This time it is peace. And you smile as you feel it casting it's rays upon your face. Warming you and erasing any trace of pain you ever had. You can see the light getting brighter and warmer and it's getting to hard to resist. But why do you want to resist it. It's offering you everything you ever wanted. Everything you ever desired.
But as you take a step closer to the light, something makes you hesitate. A doubt. A lingering doubt that slowly pries you away from your first preference. Away from peace. But why? Why can't it just let you be happy? All you want is to be happy. You hear a voice, a whisper really. But it's not coming from the light. It's from behind. You turn your head and see the darkness. You start to feel cold and want to turn away but you can't. because you hear that incessant whisper calling to something. Or to someone. A name. It's calling someone's name. It drifts through your mind like tendrils of a fog. You try to recognize what it is saying and then at last, your mind distinguishes it:
Ma…'ac…'eez… Mac, please.
Mac. Please. That's your name. Someone is calling your name, and you're confused. But you hear it again and the voice to go with it. And suddenly you remember. And with the sudden force of the memory, so comes the sensations throughout your body. A tingle really, a slight buzz. First in your shoulder. As you reach to touch it you begin to feel the same thing in your thigh as well as in your chest. And it spreads. It spreads throughout your whole body until you can feel it coursing through every extremity. You realize then that this is your pain. And the light and the darkness are giving you the choice to choose. And you're torn. You want to reach back to the light, just a couple more steps and you're there. But you remember him. And you recognize his voice calling to you. Your name: Mac. He needs you, although he won't say so. But you can hear it in his voice. You know him and he knows you and that is why you can't give up. You're too stubborn to give up. Even in the light, you are lost without him. So you turn and you bravely take your steps towards the dark and the cold and the fear and the pain. And it begins to hurt as you remember it did before. But this is the price you have to pay for life. The price to see him again. And so you close your eyes, take a deep breath and let go. You prepare yourself for the long journey through the darkness but you're not scared because you know he's waiting for you…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the ambulance skids to a stop in front of the emergency entry of Bethesda, the EMT drivers run around the vehicle and yank the doors open. The EMT crew hop out, pulling Mac behind them. Harm follows them out, and returns to his vigil at her side. He runs alongside them as close as he can be without disturbing what the crew was trying to fix.
They had almost lost her twice on the way over here. Even in that short 7 or so minutes time. But of course only Mac would know the exact amount.
"That's six minutes and 38 seconds Flyboy," she would say. And of course his reply would be the standard, "You know someday, you'll have to tell me how you do that." She would laugh and smile slyly like she always did. But now, there might not be a someday. Because each time her heart stopped so did his. Each time he had called out to her, pleading with his voice for her to come back. He would not let her give up. He couldn't. The two of them were connected like that. He knew she was too stubborn to give up. She was a marine after all.
As they were rushing down the dismal hospital corridors, he vaguely registered all the pitied looks he was getting from strangers. How he must look to them; a lost man with worried eyes and was unable to do anything more than run after the wounded woman he loved.
The wounded woman he loved.
The woman he loved.
He loved the woman. The wounded woman.
And what a perfect occasion to drudge up these relentless feelings. He decided to cast them aside for the moment and concentrate on what was at hand. She would make it. And then he would tell her and then they could be together forever. At least that's how he had it all planned out in his mind. But that plan required time, and time was something that was not on their side tonight. He forged ahead with the stretcher carrying His Marine and didn't even notice the sign above the door they had just forged through that said, "SURGERY: Medical Personnel Only" until a hefty nurse with a name tag that read Lucy drew back from the massive huddle and stopped in front of him.
"I'm sorry sir. Medical personnel only. You'll have to wait outside."
" But I have to be with her. She needs me," he pleaded with his scratchy voice.
" She needs a doctor sir. Please have a seat on a chair and we'll keep you abreast," she said as she guided him out the "Medical Personnel Only" room and showed him to a seat.
"She'll be okay, sir. They always are." and with a sympathetic pat on his arm she took off after the waiting doctors.
He stared at the doors as they swung back and forth after she pushed through them. Back and forth. Back and forth. An ongoing rhythm so unlike the rhythm of life. Defeated, he sunk into the proffered chair. He looked around the room for some sign of assurance that everything was going to be okay. Any sign that what the nurse had told him was true. He needed everything to be okay. But the only thing he noticed was that the room had a leak in the corner on the ceiling. His head sunk to his hands and he wondered. Who had done this to her? And why? Why would someone want to hurt Sarah McKenzie? He jumped up and threw the flimsy plastic chair away from him. He turned around and pummeled his fist into the wall, over and over. He did not notice any pain except hers. Why couldn't I have been there God, why couldn't I have protected her, he thought. Leaning his forehead against the wall and finally overwhelmed, he cradled his bleeding fist in his other arm and he fell hard into heartache. Slowly, he sank to the floor and broke…
Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda. Same thing as before, never owned them never will.
Authors Note: Okay guys, this might be it until the weekend. I have real life to tend to then I'm jumpin back into this one. Can't wait. Anyway, got the next chapter halfway done. I may post it as two parts (a and b) not sure. It's looking to be pretty long, but whatever. I'll just go with it. Thanks for all the cool reviews again!!! You guys are the best.
Floating. Hovering between one place and the other. So restful, you think. So calm and so inviting. And once again, something is beckoning you. But this time it is not to give in to the pain. Nor to the fear. This time it is peace. And you smile as you feel it casting it's rays upon your face. Warming you and erasing any trace of pain you ever had. You can see the light getting brighter and warmer and it's getting to hard to resist. But why do you want to resist it. It's offering you everything you ever wanted. Everything you ever desired.
But as you take a step closer to the light, something makes you hesitate. A doubt. A lingering doubt that slowly pries you away from your first preference. Away from peace. But why? Why can't it just let you be happy? All you want is to be happy. You hear a voice, a whisper really. But it's not coming from the light. It's from behind. You turn your head and see the darkness. You start to feel cold and want to turn away but you can't. because you hear that incessant whisper calling to something. Or to someone. A name. It's calling someone's name. It drifts through your mind like tendrils of a fog. You try to recognize what it is saying and then at last, your mind distinguishes it:
Ma…'ac…'eez… Mac, please.
Mac. Please. That's your name. Someone is calling your name, and you're confused. But you hear it again and the voice to go with it. And suddenly you remember. And with the sudden force of the memory, so comes the sensations throughout your body. A tingle really, a slight buzz. First in your shoulder. As you reach to touch it you begin to feel the same thing in your thigh as well as in your chest. And it spreads. It spreads throughout your whole body until you can feel it coursing through every extremity. You realize then that this is your pain. And the light and the darkness are giving you the choice to choose. And you're torn. You want to reach back to the light, just a couple more steps and you're there. But you remember him. And you recognize his voice calling to you. Your name: Mac. He needs you, although he won't say so. But you can hear it in his voice. You know him and he knows you and that is why you can't give up. You're too stubborn to give up. Even in the light, you are lost without him. So you turn and you bravely take your steps towards the dark and the cold and the fear and the pain. And it begins to hurt as you remember it did before. But this is the price you have to pay for life. The price to see him again. And so you close your eyes, take a deep breath and let go. You prepare yourself for the long journey through the darkness but you're not scared because you know he's waiting for you…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the ambulance skids to a stop in front of the emergency entry of Bethesda, the EMT drivers run around the vehicle and yank the doors open. The EMT crew hop out, pulling Mac behind them. Harm follows them out, and returns to his vigil at her side. He runs alongside them as close as he can be without disturbing what the crew was trying to fix.
They had almost lost her twice on the way over here. Even in that short 7 or so minutes time. But of course only Mac would know the exact amount.
"That's six minutes and 38 seconds Flyboy," she would say. And of course his reply would be the standard, "You know someday, you'll have to tell me how you do that." She would laugh and smile slyly like she always did. But now, there might not be a someday. Because each time her heart stopped so did his. Each time he had called out to her, pleading with his voice for her to come back. He would not let her give up. He couldn't. The two of them were connected like that. He knew she was too stubborn to give up. She was a marine after all.
As they were rushing down the dismal hospital corridors, he vaguely registered all the pitied looks he was getting from strangers. How he must look to them; a lost man with worried eyes and was unable to do anything more than run after the wounded woman he loved.
The wounded woman he loved.
The woman he loved.
He loved the woman. The wounded woman.
And what a perfect occasion to drudge up these relentless feelings. He decided to cast them aside for the moment and concentrate on what was at hand. She would make it. And then he would tell her and then they could be together forever. At least that's how he had it all planned out in his mind. But that plan required time, and time was something that was not on their side tonight. He forged ahead with the stretcher carrying His Marine and didn't even notice the sign above the door they had just forged through that said, "SURGERY: Medical Personnel Only" until a hefty nurse with a name tag that read Lucy drew back from the massive huddle and stopped in front of him.
"I'm sorry sir. Medical personnel only. You'll have to wait outside."
" But I have to be with her. She needs me," he pleaded with his scratchy voice.
" She needs a doctor sir. Please have a seat on a chair and we'll keep you abreast," she said as she guided him out the "Medical Personnel Only" room and showed him to a seat.
"She'll be okay, sir. They always are." and with a sympathetic pat on his arm she took off after the waiting doctors.
He stared at the doors as they swung back and forth after she pushed through them. Back and forth. Back and forth. An ongoing rhythm so unlike the rhythm of life. Defeated, he sunk into the proffered chair. He looked around the room for some sign of assurance that everything was going to be okay. Any sign that what the nurse had told him was true. He needed everything to be okay. But the only thing he noticed was that the room had a leak in the corner on the ceiling. His head sunk to his hands and he wondered. Who had done this to her? And why? Why would someone want to hurt Sarah McKenzie? He jumped up and threw the flimsy plastic chair away from him. He turned around and pummeled his fist into the wall, over and over. He did not notice any pain except hers. Why couldn't I have been there God, why couldn't I have protected her, he thought. Leaning his forehead against the wall and finally overwhelmed, he cradled his bleeding fist in his other arm and he fell hard into heartache. Slowly, he sank to the floor and broke…