Whisper of Life Part 4a
Disclaimer: JAG is not mine.
Ok guys. Here's the next half of a part. I finally had time to write and type and I hope this appeases you for a while. I'll try to be back as soon as I can. And if you haven't noticed yet, this is basically a H/M shipper story dealing with their emotions and struggles. I haven't added much dialogue really because I really like to dive into the characters emotions and feelings more and it's easier for me personally to write. So sorry, if this is boring you. I hope it's not. I really enjoy writing this, it's a lot of fun. And don't worry, it will get happy. I just don't know when yet. So hang in there everyone and keep the feedback comin. You guys are the greatest!!! J
Harm had been at Mac's side for the whole thirty-four hours and however many minutes. He could distantly remember the "medical personnel only" nurse- what was her name again…Lucy- coming to inform him that Mac had made it through the seven hour surgery that had seemed more like seven days to him. He dimly registered the fact that while the two bullets through the shoulder and the thigh had made a clean punctures, the bullet to her chest nicked her right lung and cracked a few of her ribs. But the one thing that he was fully aware of was that "Colonel Sarah McKenzie" was being moved to the ICU and he could go see her after she was stabilized. Twenty minutes later he was standing outside her door with his hand on the doorknob, preparing himself for what he would see on the other side. Strengthening himself so he could be strong for her when she needed him when she woke up. But the real truth was, he was the one that needed her. So with that final thought, he twisted the knob in his hand and stepped hesitantly through. What he saw made his stomach drop and his knees buckle, almost plummeting him to the floor.
She had so many tubes going in and out of her like snakes trying to devour her body. Her eyes were taped shut, for precautionary measures they had said. But she was breathing. Thank God she was breathing. But not voluntarily, he noticed. No, that small blessing was due to the large apparatus that was literally growing out of her throat, forcing her to live when everything else around her proved that she shouldn't live. It was eerily quiet in the room. Almost deathly. No, not deathly…never deathly. It was just…to quiet. Except for the steady best of her pulse on one of the many machines and her pseudo, life giving breaths, there was not another sound. Witnessing all these machines doing their work, it was apparent to him why the next day would prove if Sarah McKenzie would live or die. They said she had lost too much blood, and it was up to her to pull through. Oh God.
He clenched his sweaty fists and pulled one of the standard issue plastic hospital chairs over to her bedside. He sat down and scooted closer to her. His eyes gently moved over her body, his mind trying to imagine her before. Before all this. Her beautiful brown eyes. Her teasing smile with it's soulful laugh.
He reached his hand out hesitantly to touch hers. Afraid to touch her for fear of breaking her. As his fingers made contact with her, he remembered the cold he had felt before. He wove his fingers together with hers and picked them up and placed a small kiss on her palm. Then he laid them back down on the side her bed. He looked down at their intertwined hands. How small hers were to his. How small and meek they looked now compared to the ones that used to be ready to take on the world. Ha, if she knew I was thinking about her being small and meek, she'd kick my six all the way to the Patrick Henry, he thought with a grin. But then he sobered. He had become aware of the perfect fit. Her soft delicate fingers tucked into his large ones. If only he had recognized that sooner-like three or four years sooner, he thought ruefully.
During the next several hours, Harm made calls to the Admiral at JAG and to Col. O'Hara in Leavenworth, relaying to them the situation that they all found themselves in at the moment. The Admiral showed up at the hospital not 20 minutes after being informed. He tried to order Harm to go home and get some sleep, or to at least get some rest on a couch here but all efforts were futile. Harm was bound and determined to stay awake and at Mac's side until she came back to him. Sturgis came up to offer Harm some support and words of encouragement. They all gave him word of encouragement and sympathy, but why give them to him though? It was Mac that was fighting for her life. It was Mac that had been shot three times. He started to get frustrated with the endless mumblings of "she'll be okay" and the incessant "Mac's a marine. She's to stubborn to back down from a fight." He probably would have gone crazy from all the compassion if Harriet and Bud hadn't showed up with little AJ. It's funny, he thought, that the tiniest things can give you the most hope.
He remembered the look on little AJ's face as he pushed through the door to Mac's room and bounded into his Uncle's arms.
"Uncle Harm!"
"Hey kiddo," he laughed as the little one squeezed his tiny arms around his neck. "Hey guys," he added as he saw the Bud limping through the door and guiding his pregnant wife, a few steps behind their bouncy bundle of energy.
"Hey sir," Bud said as he came up to the Commander.
"Bud…Harriet, how many times do I have to tell you? It's just Harm when we're out of uniform," he laughed as he placed AJ onto the floor.
"Of course," they smiled. "How are you Harm?" Harriet asked. She put a protective hand to her stomach, something that had become sort of a habit for her whenever she was worried about something, or someone and in this case would be him.
"I'm doing okay Harriet," he answered. Though not very convincingly, because they were still staring at him with doubt. He looked down to the ground. They were right. They were all right, he was not fine. He was not okay. And he was tired of pretending to be. He sank into his chair and put his head into his hands. "To tell the truth, I don't know really what I'm feeling," he said. He felt a tiny fingers grab his hands and pull them away from his face.
"Uncle Harm, why are you sad?" AJ asked innocently. He became envious of the child's naivety. He really wished he could be oblivious to the situation right at the moment. He looked up to Harriet and Bud to try and see just how much they had told him of the situation. He took the little boy's hands and held them in his own.
"I'm sad because Aunt Mac is very sick," he told him. AJ looked over to his beloved Aunt and said, "But Uncle Harm, look. She's just sleeping." Harm closed his eyes and put his chin to his chest.
"AJ, baby…" Harriet tried to interrupt to save the grief-stricken Commander. She didn't think that he needed to go through this again, much less with a four-year old who doesn't understand the concept of life and death yet.
"No, Harriet…it's okay," Harm stopped her. He looked over to Mac and really looked at her. "It does look like she's sleeping doesn't it," Harm said, agreeing with his godchild. He pulled him up on to his lap and they watched Mac together.
"What do you think she's dreaming about?" He asked, choosing to go along with AJ's innocent suggestion. He decided that a little trip into a child's mind right now may not be such a bad idea. AJ squished his eyes together in concentration and thought for a moment.
" You, me and Aunt Mac are all at the park together. And we're doing the swings like we did the other day, remember Uncle Harm? And I'm sitting on her lap and you're pushing us both and we're going really high. But I'm not scared because Aunt Mac has her arms around me real tight so I won't fall out." He turned around to face his Uncle and saw that he was crying. "Don't cry. It's a happy dream. She was laughing, remember?" He reached his little hands to try and wipe away the tears that were slowly making their way down Harm's face. Harm took his tiny hand and pulled him towards him, placing a kiss on his forehead.
"Yeah, I remember kiddo," he said pulling back to look at the remarkable little boy.
"AJ, baby. It's time for us to go now, okay? We can come visit Aunt Mac and Uncle Harm again later, sweetie," Bud interrupted. He too was tearing up because he remembered that day that Harm and Mac had come home from taking AJ to the park that day. They were so happy. And looking at the scene in front of him now, he realized that might never happen again. He took AJ's hand and helped him off Harm's lap.
"Bye Harm, we'll come back later, okay?" Harriet asked.
"Sure Harriet. I'd like that," he responded. He watched as they started to move towards the door. But right before they left AJ turned around and told him something that he would never forget.
"Don't worry Uncle Harm. I don't think that she wants to leave yet anyway," he told him.
"Why do you think that buddy?"
"Because she'd miss you too much," and then he turned around and grabbed Harriet's hand and was gone.
I'll be back with more soon I hope…
Disclaimer: JAG is not mine.
Ok guys. Here's the next half of a part. I finally had time to write and type and I hope this appeases you for a while. I'll try to be back as soon as I can. And if you haven't noticed yet, this is basically a H/M shipper story dealing with their emotions and struggles. I haven't added much dialogue really because I really like to dive into the characters emotions and feelings more and it's easier for me personally to write. So sorry, if this is boring you. I hope it's not. I really enjoy writing this, it's a lot of fun. And don't worry, it will get happy. I just don't know when yet. So hang in there everyone and keep the feedback comin. You guys are the greatest!!! J
Harm had been at Mac's side for the whole thirty-four hours and however many minutes. He could distantly remember the "medical personnel only" nurse- what was her name again…Lucy- coming to inform him that Mac had made it through the seven hour surgery that had seemed more like seven days to him. He dimly registered the fact that while the two bullets through the shoulder and the thigh had made a clean punctures, the bullet to her chest nicked her right lung and cracked a few of her ribs. But the one thing that he was fully aware of was that "Colonel Sarah McKenzie" was being moved to the ICU and he could go see her after she was stabilized. Twenty minutes later he was standing outside her door with his hand on the doorknob, preparing himself for what he would see on the other side. Strengthening himself so he could be strong for her when she needed him when she woke up. But the real truth was, he was the one that needed her. So with that final thought, he twisted the knob in his hand and stepped hesitantly through. What he saw made his stomach drop and his knees buckle, almost plummeting him to the floor.
She had so many tubes going in and out of her like snakes trying to devour her body. Her eyes were taped shut, for precautionary measures they had said. But she was breathing. Thank God she was breathing. But not voluntarily, he noticed. No, that small blessing was due to the large apparatus that was literally growing out of her throat, forcing her to live when everything else around her proved that she shouldn't live. It was eerily quiet in the room. Almost deathly. No, not deathly…never deathly. It was just…to quiet. Except for the steady best of her pulse on one of the many machines and her pseudo, life giving breaths, there was not another sound. Witnessing all these machines doing their work, it was apparent to him why the next day would prove if Sarah McKenzie would live or die. They said she had lost too much blood, and it was up to her to pull through. Oh God.
He clenched his sweaty fists and pulled one of the standard issue plastic hospital chairs over to her bedside. He sat down and scooted closer to her. His eyes gently moved over her body, his mind trying to imagine her before. Before all this. Her beautiful brown eyes. Her teasing smile with it's soulful laugh.
He reached his hand out hesitantly to touch hers. Afraid to touch her for fear of breaking her. As his fingers made contact with her, he remembered the cold he had felt before. He wove his fingers together with hers and picked them up and placed a small kiss on her palm. Then he laid them back down on the side her bed. He looked down at their intertwined hands. How small hers were to his. How small and meek they looked now compared to the ones that used to be ready to take on the world. Ha, if she knew I was thinking about her being small and meek, she'd kick my six all the way to the Patrick Henry, he thought with a grin. But then he sobered. He had become aware of the perfect fit. Her soft delicate fingers tucked into his large ones. If only he had recognized that sooner-like three or four years sooner, he thought ruefully.
During the next several hours, Harm made calls to the Admiral at JAG and to Col. O'Hara in Leavenworth, relaying to them the situation that they all found themselves in at the moment. The Admiral showed up at the hospital not 20 minutes after being informed. He tried to order Harm to go home and get some sleep, or to at least get some rest on a couch here but all efforts were futile. Harm was bound and determined to stay awake and at Mac's side until she came back to him. Sturgis came up to offer Harm some support and words of encouragement. They all gave him word of encouragement and sympathy, but why give them to him though? It was Mac that was fighting for her life. It was Mac that had been shot three times. He started to get frustrated with the endless mumblings of "she'll be okay" and the incessant "Mac's a marine. She's to stubborn to back down from a fight." He probably would have gone crazy from all the compassion if Harriet and Bud hadn't showed up with little AJ. It's funny, he thought, that the tiniest things can give you the most hope.
He remembered the look on little AJ's face as he pushed through the door to Mac's room and bounded into his Uncle's arms.
"Uncle Harm!"
"Hey kiddo," he laughed as the little one squeezed his tiny arms around his neck. "Hey guys," he added as he saw the Bud limping through the door and guiding his pregnant wife, a few steps behind their bouncy bundle of energy.
"Hey sir," Bud said as he came up to the Commander.
"Bud…Harriet, how many times do I have to tell you? It's just Harm when we're out of uniform," he laughed as he placed AJ onto the floor.
"Of course," they smiled. "How are you Harm?" Harriet asked. She put a protective hand to her stomach, something that had become sort of a habit for her whenever she was worried about something, or someone and in this case would be him.
"I'm doing okay Harriet," he answered. Though not very convincingly, because they were still staring at him with doubt. He looked down to the ground. They were right. They were all right, he was not fine. He was not okay. And he was tired of pretending to be. He sank into his chair and put his head into his hands. "To tell the truth, I don't know really what I'm feeling," he said. He felt a tiny fingers grab his hands and pull them away from his face.
"Uncle Harm, why are you sad?" AJ asked innocently. He became envious of the child's naivety. He really wished he could be oblivious to the situation right at the moment. He looked up to Harriet and Bud to try and see just how much they had told him of the situation. He took the little boy's hands and held them in his own.
"I'm sad because Aunt Mac is very sick," he told him. AJ looked over to his beloved Aunt and said, "But Uncle Harm, look. She's just sleeping." Harm closed his eyes and put his chin to his chest.
"AJ, baby…" Harriet tried to interrupt to save the grief-stricken Commander. She didn't think that he needed to go through this again, much less with a four-year old who doesn't understand the concept of life and death yet.
"No, Harriet…it's okay," Harm stopped her. He looked over to Mac and really looked at her. "It does look like she's sleeping doesn't it," Harm said, agreeing with his godchild. He pulled him up on to his lap and they watched Mac together.
"What do you think she's dreaming about?" He asked, choosing to go along with AJ's innocent suggestion. He decided that a little trip into a child's mind right now may not be such a bad idea. AJ squished his eyes together in concentration and thought for a moment.
" You, me and Aunt Mac are all at the park together. And we're doing the swings like we did the other day, remember Uncle Harm? And I'm sitting on her lap and you're pushing us both and we're going really high. But I'm not scared because Aunt Mac has her arms around me real tight so I won't fall out." He turned around to face his Uncle and saw that he was crying. "Don't cry. It's a happy dream. She was laughing, remember?" He reached his little hands to try and wipe away the tears that were slowly making their way down Harm's face. Harm took his tiny hand and pulled him towards him, placing a kiss on his forehead.
"Yeah, I remember kiddo," he said pulling back to look at the remarkable little boy.
"AJ, baby. It's time for us to go now, okay? We can come visit Aunt Mac and Uncle Harm again later, sweetie," Bud interrupted. He too was tearing up because he remembered that day that Harm and Mac had come home from taking AJ to the park that day. They were so happy. And looking at the scene in front of him now, he realized that might never happen again. He took AJ's hand and helped him off Harm's lap.
"Bye Harm, we'll come back later, okay?" Harriet asked.
"Sure Harriet. I'd like that," he responded. He watched as they started to move towards the door. But right before they left AJ turned around and told him something that he would never forget.
"Don't worry Uncle Harm. I don't think that she wants to leave yet anyway," he told him.
"Why do you think that buddy?"
"Because she'd miss you too much," and then he turned around and grabbed Harriet's hand and was gone.
I'll be back with more soon I hope…