Karta: Alrighty! I'm on to writing chapter five! Oh yeah! Booyaka! You know what else? I also have over twenty reviews. Isn't that NEATO?
ISRU: Yes. Very... Neato.
Karta: I know. I love me so much.
ISRU: What a narcissist...
Karta: And my reviewers. They're all so wonderful. *sobbing* I am so happy.
DW: Yes, yes very interesting.
Karta: Fine be that way. Now on the question of spandex only three people had a preference. One was Yami, which regrettably, I cannot do. However I swear on my honor as an authoress and my Gundam Wing box set that I will have him in freakishly tight pants yet. Next was Bakura. I really wanted him in tight pants, but I have something else planned for him so... Kaiba was another choice, but he's in for fun later on, just like Bakura. The last choice is the one I shall use.
DW: Who's it gonna be?
Karta: Well uh... Joey actually.
ISRU: I'm gonna have nightmares over this one.
Karta: Calm down. I think it's a lovely idea, even though I'm not a Joey fan girl myself.
DW: Really? I wouldn't have guessed. Not since you have Bakura in more than half the first chapters.
Karta: That's another reason why he's not in tight pants this chapter. Plus the Joey fan girls are an under appreciated breed.
ISRU: Well why don't you get started then?
Karta: I do believe I will. But first I need to warn all of you none Yaoi fans. There is an incredible small bit of Y/YY in this chapter. Don't worry, it's just one thought of Kaiba's that you can skip over in line eleven. Now Chapter five...
A Gundam Wing Parody
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
This chapter does not, in fact, begin on the set. No it starts back stage, so let just go strait there shall we?
Bakura paced near the studio exit with increasing frustration. Yugi who was quite stumped, sat near by along with Seto. After a few more minutes Kaiba, despite his astounding amount of patience, couldn't stand the suspense much longer.
"Well?" He asked.
"Well what?" The yami snapped back.
"What are we waiting for?" Kaiba rephrased his question.
"I am waiting for the one way to make this situation bearable." The poorly tempered spirit replied. His pacing had quickened, again.
"What do you mean? Yami will never let you out of this. I couldn't even get out and... Well I used every advantage I had." Yugi explained, his cheeks coloring. Kaiba froze. If Yugi couldn't even seduce his way out of acting then they were truly damned.
"I know. There's no way I can get out," Bakura muttered, still pacing, "but I think I could stand it, if only Yami was brought in."
"You mean to tell me that you're going to have someone take Yami's place? I suppose he would have to act along side us then... But who would be sick enough to continue forcing us to act against our will?" the Millionaire asked no one in particular.
"It would need to be some one twisted and cruel." Yugi voiced.
"Someone who loves television." Kaiba added.
"Someone with lots of time on their hands."
"Who do we know that's insane, freaky, and without a life?" Seto questioned.
"Me." came the voice of a figure at the door. Kaiba couldn't quite see who it was. Then he or she stepped forward. The CEO hissed and stepped back in horror, noticing that Yugi had fainted.
"Oh no! Please tell me you didn't call…"
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
*Back on Stage*
The camera comes down on a rather large mansion in the middle of a rather large dessert. If one were to look through the window they would see Ryou sitting quietly at a table sipping tea (The drink not the girl). He worse some nice khaki pants with a lovely pink shirt and a violet-black vest, all of which was ironed to perfection.
"Hello friend Trowa!" Ryou smiled brightly as Tristan walked in the room wearing a dark turtle neck and some light jeans.
"...friend Trowa?" He rose an eyebrow.
"Yes indeed!" Ryou was really quite oblivious to how strange that name was.
"Yeah. Anyway, I wanted to-" A shriek interrupted poor Tristan. Mai ran on stage and immediately glomped Ryou. The odd thing, or the new odd thing, about her was the incredible large and frightening eyebrows drawn on her face.
"Quatre." She continued to rub her cheek against the small boy's face, "Let me tell you a story, hm? Once upon a time-"
"Agh! Get her off!" He pushed her away quickly and began running down the hallway, grabbing Tristan's arm in the process, "She's been stalking me for days!"
He finally slowed down outside, near a very large robot, doing a weird pose. It was sitting up with one leg bent and the other strait, the kind of pose you would see in a swim suit catalogue from Victoria Secret. It was also covered in a least fifty flamingos varying in shades of pink.
"Sandrock will protect us." Ryou claimed cheerfully.
"Hey, do you always pose your Gundam like that? And what's with the birds? We're in the middle of the dessert I mean…" Tristan trailed off.
"Huh? No, Rashid takes care of the Gundam." Ryou replied, "Speaking of which. Here he comes now."
"Hello Master Quatre." Bandit Keith walked up to the two with a large smile that shocked Ryou (Not Quatre). A large and badly cut beard adorned his face.
"Stand still. There is something on your face." Tristan whispered, trying not to alarm the large man.
"You have good sense of humor, friend of Master Quatre." Keith slapped Tristan in the back, sending him flying face first into Sandrock. This caused the large Gundam to rattle ever so slightly. Then...
"Run!"
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Meanwhile...
Joey opened his eyes ever so slightly and glanced around. He was wearing a loose green tank top and skin (and I mean SKIN.) tight shorts that should by all mean be giving his an atomic wedge without any provocation. However he showed no signs of discomfort and simply examined every bit of the very white room.
"This is the fiftieth floor of the Number three Alliance medical facility, in the south J.A.P. area. The employees who work here in alphabetical order are as follows: Aaaaaasmith, Albert.
*Several Hours Later*
"Zzzzbrown, Zedd." He finished and took a deep breath, "Now that I have that out of my system, how am I going to escape?" He suddenly noticed that he was very much trapped, with all his limbs tied down. Before he could ponder just how very screwed he was a voice rang through the entire medical building.
"Can I see Heero now?"
Joey began to shake.
"No, not her! Anyone but her." He closed his eyes quickly thinking on what he knew was to come, then wanting to be safe held his breath to the point of passing out. It was then in the surveillance room above Joey that none other than Tea walked in wearing pink, pink, and more pink.
"What do you have him tied down for?! He's my boy friend, so you can hold him prisoner!" Tea screeched, bringing Joey back to consciousness.
"That doesn't even..." Isis, who was with her, trailed off looking annoyed, "Come on. I'm afraid if we leave you here you might wake him up. Plus the morgue is below us." Screams of "kill it, kill it" could be heard through one of the vents. Tea nodded and walked out with a snobbish look.
The moment they left an explosion rocked the room. When the dust cleared Mokuba could be seen holding a large bag.
"I think it time we liven things up." He grinned. Joey jumped up, or tried to. The moment he did the buckles holding him down came off.
"They didn't even fasten them…" The blonde shook his head, "This is such an insult to my intelligence…"
"Let's just go." Mokuba threw the older boy a parachute. Within seconds they reached the windows to get to the outside, which Mokuba proptly blew up. Both jumped from the large hole in the wall Mokuba so generously created. Just then Isis and Tea showed up.
"They must have jumped." Isis stated franticly.
"Oh no! HEEERRROOOO!" Tea screeched.
Down below Mokuba had opened his odd little Mary Poppeins umbrella and waited for Joey to release his parachute. Before the spandexed one could do this the screech of Tea's reached him. He couldn't help it, he had to cover his ears and get away from the piercing wail. This was defiantly not the best of moves.
Instead of opening his happy little parachute and floating safely to the ground like a little army toy Joey got a up close and personal view of the jagged rocks below him.
"Ah!"
Thud.
"Gahhh."
Thud.
"Ahhhhh."
Thud.
"Ow..."
After several more thuds, which I don't care to write, he reached the ground and rolled through the sand a bit and there he lay bleeding and bruised.
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Back at the Dessert Mansion
Today was not Tristan's day. As you last recall he had just hit Ryou/ Quatre's Gundam with his face causing it to shake quite a bit. As you also, hopefully, recall the Gundam was covered in Phoenicopterus ruber a.k.a. Flamingos.
So now Tristan was living what would look, to anyone else, like a lovely dedication to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Luckily Ryou was much faster than he looked and Tristan himself had long legs, leaving both about two inches away from the evil bird jaws of death.
Ryou suddenly got an idea and turned quickly, taking Tristan with him. After a few minutes they reached yet another area of Quatre/ Ryou's plethoric mansion grounds. There was an additional large Gundam, which Tristan assumed was the point, however his theory proved to be wrong when Ryou seemed to be searching franticly for something else. He caught sight of movement and headed towards it.
To the right of the new Gundam was Shadi, practicing a variety of slow exercises. Tristan was quite surprised that he didn't notice the large white pants the Item keeper sported.
"Wufei!!!" Ryou began shaking the him by the shoulders, "Flamingos! Gotta save us!"
Shadi rose an eyebrow at the frenzied look on the boy's face, but could hear flapping in the background which helped the story, but only slightly.
"Let me take care of this." He pushed past the other two and stood in a casual stance. The pink birds of PURE EVIL came ever closer. Just as they were about to reach the group Shadi began shouting.
"GET OT OF MY SIGHT YOU WEAKLINGS!!!" Shadi kept standing, waiting for the squawks of fear. However any idiot should know that shouting won't detour one animal, let alone a pack of fifty angry ones. I mean, that's just stupid. So the flamingos piled on him, and happily satisfied their desire for human flesh.
Ryou and Tristan sighed with relief as the flamingos went back to their little Gundam home, all of them full from fillet of Shadi. So alls well that ends well I suppose. Of course the other story isn't finished right?
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Back with Joey...
"Okay, I've pulled yours up too…" Mokuba trailed off as he looked at Joey. The boy was on the ground clutching his leg. With a final pull a crack could be heard.
"Gahhh!!! That doesn't go there! Oh S***!"
"I can't take much more of this. He just goes and puts a broken bone back in place." Mokuba sighed, "The wrong place…"
I suppose you waiting for what came next, right? Well not much. Mokuba just ended up dragging Joey back to Isis to get fixed up where they were both caught and held as prisoners of war. Ryou came to get them and eventually saved their lives before going off to blow up some stuff using the good ol' Zero System.
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Karta: Besides the poor endings I think that went pretty well. I hope my Gundam Wing reviewers (There have to be some!) liked that! Anyway the next chapter is for all you non- Gundam Wingers. I'll make it just so you don't feel left out, and my conscience is cleared.
ISRU: Yes. Very... Neato.
Karta: I know. I love me so much.
ISRU: What a narcissist...
Karta: And my reviewers. They're all so wonderful. *sobbing* I am so happy.
DW: Yes, yes very interesting.
Karta: Fine be that way. Now on the question of spandex only three people had a preference. One was Yami, which regrettably, I cannot do. However I swear on my honor as an authoress and my Gundam Wing box set that I will have him in freakishly tight pants yet. Next was Bakura. I really wanted him in tight pants, but I have something else planned for him so... Kaiba was another choice, but he's in for fun later on, just like Bakura. The last choice is the one I shall use.
DW: Who's it gonna be?
Karta: Well uh... Joey actually.
ISRU: I'm gonna have nightmares over this one.
Karta: Calm down. I think it's a lovely idea, even though I'm not a Joey fan girl myself.
DW: Really? I wouldn't have guessed. Not since you have Bakura in more than half the first chapters.
Karta: That's another reason why he's not in tight pants this chapter. Plus the Joey fan girls are an under appreciated breed.
ISRU: Well why don't you get started then?
Karta: I do believe I will. But first I need to warn all of you none Yaoi fans. There is an incredible small bit of Y/YY in this chapter. Don't worry, it's just one thought of Kaiba's that you can skip over in line eleven. Now Chapter five...
A Gundam Wing Parody
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
This chapter does not, in fact, begin on the set. No it starts back stage, so let just go strait there shall we?
Bakura paced near the studio exit with increasing frustration. Yugi who was quite stumped, sat near by along with Seto. After a few more minutes Kaiba, despite his astounding amount of patience, couldn't stand the suspense much longer.
"Well?" He asked.
"Well what?" The yami snapped back.
"What are we waiting for?" Kaiba rephrased his question.
"I am waiting for the one way to make this situation bearable." The poorly tempered spirit replied. His pacing had quickened, again.
"What do you mean? Yami will never let you out of this. I couldn't even get out and... Well I used every advantage I had." Yugi explained, his cheeks coloring. Kaiba froze. If Yugi couldn't even seduce his way out of acting then they were truly damned.
"I know. There's no way I can get out," Bakura muttered, still pacing, "but I think I could stand it, if only Yami was brought in."
"You mean to tell me that you're going to have someone take Yami's place? I suppose he would have to act along side us then... But who would be sick enough to continue forcing us to act against our will?" the Millionaire asked no one in particular.
"It would need to be some one twisted and cruel." Yugi voiced.
"Someone who loves television." Kaiba added.
"Someone with lots of time on their hands."
"Who do we know that's insane, freaky, and without a life?" Seto questioned.
"Me." came the voice of a figure at the door. Kaiba couldn't quite see who it was. Then he or she stepped forward. The CEO hissed and stepped back in horror, noticing that Yugi had fainted.
"Oh no! Please tell me you didn't call…"
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
*Back on Stage*
The camera comes down on a rather large mansion in the middle of a rather large dessert. If one were to look through the window they would see Ryou sitting quietly at a table sipping tea (The drink not the girl). He worse some nice khaki pants with a lovely pink shirt and a violet-black vest, all of which was ironed to perfection.
"Hello friend Trowa!" Ryou smiled brightly as Tristan walked in the room wearing a dark turtle neck and some light jeans.
"...friend Trowa?" He rose an eyebrow.
"Yes indeed!" Ryou was really quite oblivious to how strange that name was.
"Yeah. Anyway, I wanted to-" A shriek interrupted poor Tristan. Mai ran on stage and immediately glomped Ryou. The odd thing, or the new odd thing, about her was the incredible large and frightening eyebrows drawn on her face.
"Quatre." She continued to rub her cheek against the small boy's face, "Let me tell you a story, hm? Once upon a time-"
"Agh! Get her off!" He pushed her away quickly and began running down the hallway, grabbing Tristan's arm in the process, "She's been stalking me for days!"
He finally slowed down outside, near a very large robot, doing a weird pose. It was sitting up with one leg bent and the other strait, the kind of pose you would see in a swim suit catalogue from Victoria Secret. It was also covered in a least fifty flamingos varying in shades of pink.
"Sandrock will protect us." Ryou claimed cheerfully.
"Hey, do you always pose your Gundam like that? And what's with the birds? We're in the middle of the dessert I mean…" Tristan trailed off.
"Huh? No, Rashid takes care of the Gundam." Ryou replied, "Speaking of which. Here he comes now."
"Hello Master Quatre." Bandit Keith walked up to the two with a large smile that shocked Ryou (Not Quatre). A large and badly cut beard adorned his face.
"Stand still. There is something on your face." Tristan whispered, trying not to alarm the large man.
"You have good sense of humor, friend of Master Quatre." Keith slapped Tristan in the back, sending him flying face first into Sandrock. This caused the large Gundam to rattle ever so slightly. Then...
"Run!"
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Meanwhile...
Joey opened his eyes ever so slightly and glanced around. He was wearing a loose green tank top and skin (and I mean SKIN.) tight shorts that should by all mean be giving his an atomic wedge without any provocation. However he showed no signs of discomfort and simply examined every bit of the very white room.
"This is the fiftieth floor of the Number three Alliance medical facility, in the south J.A.P. area. The employees who work here in alphabetical order are as follows: Aaaaaasmith, Albert.
*Several Hours Later*
"Zzzzbrown, Zedd." He finished and took a deep breath, "Now that I have that out of my system, how am I going to escape?" He suddenly noticed that he was very much trapped, with all his limbs tied down. Before he could ponder just how very screwed he was a voice rang through the entire medical building.
"Can I see Heero now?"
Joey began to shake.
"No, not her! Anyone but her." He closed his eyes quickly thinking on what he knew was to come, then wanting to be safe held his breath to the point of passing out. It was then in the surveillance room above Joey that none other than Tea walked in wearing pink, pink, and more pink.
"What do you have him tied down for?! He's my boy friend, so you can hold him prisoner!" Tea screeched, bringing Joey back to consciousness.
"That doesn't even..." Isis, who was with her, trailed off looking annoyed, "Come on. I'm afraid if we leave you here you might wake him up. Plus the morgue is below us." Screams of "kill it, kill it" could be heard through one of the vents. Tea nodded and walked out with a snobbish look.
The moment they left an explosion rocked the room. When the dust cleared Mokuba could be seen holding a large bag.
"I think it time we liven things up." He grinned. Joey jumped up, or tried to. The moment he did the buckles holding him down came off.
"They didn't even fasten them…" The blonde shook his head, "This is such an insult to my intelligence…"
"Let's just go." Mokuba threw the older boy a parachute. Within seconds they reached the windows to get to the outside, which Mokuba proptly blew up. Both jumped from the large hole in the wall Mokuba so generously created. Just then Isis and Tea showed up.
"They must have jumped." Isis stated franticly.
"Oh no! HEEERRROOOO!" Tea screeched.
Down below Mokuba had opened his odd little Mary Poppeins umbrella and waited for Joey to release his parachute. Before the spandexed one could do this the screech of Tea's reached him. He couldn't help it, he had to cover his ears and get away from the piercing wail. This was defiantly not the best of moves.
Instead of opening his happy little parachute and floating safely to the ground like a little army toy Joey got a up close and personal view of the jagged rocks below him.
"Ah!"
Thud.
"Gahhh."
Thud.
"Ahhhhh."
Thud.
"Ow..."
After several more thuds, which I don't care to write, he reached the ground and rolled through the sand a bit and there he lay bleeding and bruised.
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Back at the Dessert Mansion
Today was not Tristan's day. As you last recall he had just hit Ryou/ Quatre's Gundam with his face causing it to shake quite a bit. As you also, hopefully, recall the Gundam was covered in Phoenicopterus ruber a.k.a. Flamingos.
So now Tristan was living what would look, to anyone else, like a lovely dedication to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Luckily Ryou was much faster than he looked and Tristan himself had long legs, leaving both about two inches away from the evil bird jaws of death.
Ryou suddenly got an idea and turned quickly, taking Tristan with him. After a few minutes they reached yet another area of Quatre/ Ryou's plethoric mansion grounds. There was an additional large Gundam, which Tristan assumed was the point, however his theory proved to be wrong when Ryou seemed to be searching franticly for something else. He caught sight of movement and headed towards it.
To the right of the new Gundam was Shadi, practicing a variety of slow exercises. Tristan was quite surprised that he didn't notice the large white pants the Item keeper sported.
"Wufei!!!" Ryou began shaking the him by the shoulders, "Flamingos! Gotta save us!"
Shadi rose an eyebrow at the frenzied look on the boy's face, but could hear flapping in the background which helped the story, but only slightly.
"Let me take care of this." He pushed past the other two and stood in a casual stance. The pink birds of PURE EVIL came ever closer. Just as they were about to reach the group Shadi began shouting.
"GET OT OF MY SIGHT YOU WEAKLINGS!!!" Shadi kept standing, waiting for the squawks of fear. However any idiot should know that shouting won't detour one animal, let alone a pack of fifty angry ones. I mean, that's just stupid. So the flamingos piled on him, and happily satisfied their desire for human flesh.
Ryou and Tristan sighed with relief as the flamingos went back to their little Gundam home, all of them full from fillet of Shadi. So alls well that ends well I suppose. Of course the other story isn't finished right?
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Back with Joey...
"Okay, I've pulled yours up too…" Mokuba trailed off as he looked at Joey. The boy was on the ground clutching his leg. With a final pull a crack could be heard.
"Gahhh!!! That doesn't go there! Oh S***!"
"I can't take much more of this. He just goes and puts a broken bone back in place." Mokuba sighed, "The wrong place…"
I suppose you waiting for what came next, right? Well not much. Mokuba just ended up dragging Joey back to Isis to get fixed up where they were both caught and held as prisoners of war. Ryou came to get them and eventually saved their lives before going off to blow up some stuff using the good ol' Zero System.
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Karta: Besides the poor endings I think that went pretty well. I hope my Gundam Wing reviewers (There have to be some!) liked that! Anyway the next chapter is for all you non- Gundam Wingers. I'll make it just so you don't feel left out, and my conscience is cleared.