Real World: Bayville
Episode Two: Breakfast, Social Interaction, and Sour Pranks
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Author's Note: This chapter and all the chapters following it will now be written in my own mix of laziness and script style. ( identifies actions) Everything else will be pretty easy to explain. For anyone disappointed with my choice of mutants: there will be guest stars! Rolo Babby (why didn't anyone want this? Tabby and Bobby are mad at you!) and Romy laterz. And as for Kitty appearing out of no where? I have no clue where that came from. I must've forgot she wasn't in this fic. Well anyway.... on with the fic! Oh yeah, this fic is set in the summer time. Cuz the kids obviously can't miss school.
This is going to be a loooong chapter...
Oooh, BTW, who would you guys like to see guest star? Guest stars are coming up pretty soon so I wanna get an idea of who to include.
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(The annoying buzzing sound of an alarm clock rips through the girl's room and Jean rises, stretches, and smiles. Tabitha groans, and Rogue turns over after heaving a pillow strategically at the device. The alarm clock flies off the bed stand and a crunch is heard as it lands on the wooden floor.)
Jean: (glares) Hey! (walks over and rips the covers off the half-awake girls)
Rogue: (shivers) Thisisnothappeninthisisnothappenin...
Tabitha: (shoots up from the bed) Ugh! Why do we have to share a room with you? And if you wanna get up at 8:00 in the morning, you sure as hell don't have to wake the whole -bleep-ing house up!
Rogue: (shoots the blonde a look) Think ya just gone an done that y'rself, Tab.
Jean: Come on, girls. I bet breakfast is ready.
Rogue: (grabs her blanket and stubbornly crawls back in bed) Ah'll be ready f'r food when ah'm done sleepin'.
Tabitha: (ditto, but can't seem to get comfortable) Great, Jean! Now I can't get back to bed!
Jean: Sorry!
Tabitha: Whatever. (trudges in the bathroom and shuts and locks the door)
Jean: Hey! I was going to use that!
Tabitha: Too bad. I have to get ready.
Jean: (whimpers) But I have to go pee...
Rogue: (places pillow over her head) Shut up!
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(Camera moves over to the boys room. Dead silence except for Toad's snoring. Jamie is the only one out of bed. He groggily climbs out of bed and finds his way down to the kitchen. Ororo and Logan are already there, preparing breakfast as expected. Jamie notices, though he doesn't think much of it, that Storm's ankle is touching Wolverine's leg as they sit at the counter and discuss the situation over orange juice.)
Storm: (looks up, surprised) Jamie! You're up early.
Jamie: (climbs onto a barstool) This is the only way I ever get a meal in the institute.
Storm: (gives him a sympathetic glance as she pours another glance of OJ) You won't have that problem here.
Wolverine: (chuckles) I'm still trying to imagine what Hank and Chuck are goin' through trying to keep the rest of the runt in check.
(Storm hands Jamie the glass)
Jamie: Thanks. (takes a sip)
Storm: (smiles at Wolverine as she flips a pancake) This is nice...
Wolverine: *gruffly* Quiet...
Jamie: And I'm not getting pushed around!
(The momentary calm is suddenly shattered as the rest of the kids run downstairs- the boys still in PJs and the girls showered and ready to go. Mystique is the only one missing, as she is still sleeping soundly.)
Rogue: Ah need some God-damn coffee an ah need it now! (lunges for the pot.)
Storm: Rogue! Such language!
Wolverine: (smirks) Ah, she ain't a mornin' person. Is that really so suprising, 'Ro?
Tabitha: Blame it on Jean. She woke us all up. (she puts some toast in the toaster and grabs an apple to munch on)
(Jean and Bobby raid the cupboard for cereal. Bobby grabs a pancake fresh off the skillet.)
Bobby: Thanks, Storm.
Jamie: (Quickly reaches for a pancake before it's all gone) Hey! Leave some for me!
Remy: (Sits next to Rogue, coffee cup in hand) Ah, so I found her.
Rogue: (gives him a strange look) Who? (looks around)
Remy: De fille o' my dreams. (winks) Beautiful, smart, an appreciates a good cup o' Java.
Rogue: (rolls eyes) Oh, give me a break! (pushes him off the barstool and pours some more coffee into her cup.)
Remy: (rubs his head) Never t'ought it would hurt so much t' fall fo' a girl.
Rogue: (gulps coffee, silently wishing it would wake her up from this nightmare)
Jamie: (looks at Toad) Hey, aren't you going to eat something?
Jean: Don't. Ask.
Todd: (looks offended) What? (hops outside) Anyway, I'm off to catch me some grub! Fly a la mode here I come, yo!
Tabitha: Too late...
Jamie: (winces as he receives glares from the two girls) Uh, sorry I asked.
Bobby: (ices up a glass of OJ) Ah, nice and cold. (sips it)
Tabitha: (bites into toast, but realizes that its frozen) You creep! (throws a time bomb at Bobby. It misses and explodes in Rogue's coffee instead. Columbian Hazelnut is now dripping from her face.)
Rogue: Big mistake. (reaches over and grabs Jamie's pancake, hurling it at Tabitha's face)
Jamie: Hey!
Tabitha: (narrowly dodges the flying food) Watch it!
(Pancake hits Jean's arm, dropping to the floor in a syrupy and sticky mess. Jean uses her telekinesis to dump a glass of OJ on Tabitha's head.)
Tabitha: (blindly throws another time bomb.) -Bleep-! (the bombs hits Remy, practically depantsing him)
Remy: Hey! (throws a charged playing card that lands on Jamie's head. Jamie, in turn, throws a piece of toast, but has bad aim and nails Wolverine instead.)
(All chaos breaks loose. Everyone, including the adults, are throwing food. Stuff is flying everywhere. Mystique walks in the kitchen just in time for a stick pancake to attach itself to her face. Everyone is silent, waiting for the shapeshifter to flip.)
Mystique: (peels off the food) Who threw it?
(silence)
Mystique: WHO THREW IT?!
(Everyone points at Jamie, who is obviously innocent)
Mystique: (charges) You little -bleep-!
(Jamie high-tails it out of there. Storm and Wolverine chase after the blue-skinned assassin who is obviously out for blood.)
Bobby: (clears his throat) Pool party, anyone?
(screen fades and various threats and screams are heard.)
Storm: Put him down NOW, Mystique, or I will fry your -bleep-.
Wolverine: (does a double take to make she he heard right) Damn, Raven. You better put the kid down. 'Ro's pissed.
Jamie: (flailing about in Mystique's death grip) HELP!
Mystique: I just took a -bleep-ing shower, you twit. I was nice and relaxed and ready to start my day until you little brats had to put me in a foul mood.
Jamie: But I didn't do it! It was Bobby! It was BOBBY! ACK!
Mystique: Quite frankly, I don't care who did it, because I'm going to kill each and everyone of you little -bleep-s and in doing so, save the world from the horrifying aspect of repeating your genetic code. (evil smirk) And mark my words, I will enjoy it!
Storm: (trying to pull the woman away from Jamie) Raven, calm down! It was only a pancake!
Mystique: A pancake with syrup that just so happens to be a giant -bleep- to get off without me having to waste my precious time with another shower.
Storm: Stop it! You're giving us mutants a bad name! Think of what the viewers are going to think when they see the way you're behaving.
Mystique: (pause) I could, but I won't because I don't give damn.
*SNIKT*
Wolverine: You gonna put him down or am I gonna have t' make ya?
Mystique: (glares)
Wolverine: (glares)
Jamie: (can't breathe)
Storm: (watches the glares, interested)
Mystique: Fine! I'll let him live- for now! (makes a show of roughly dropping Jamie) I hope we've got liquor in that refrigerator because I'm going to need it! (walks off muttering something about kids and why she actually came up with this plan anyway)
Storm: (helps Jamie up) Are you all right?
Jamie: Yeah, thanks to you guys.
Storm: You really should be more careful.
Wolverine: Yeah, looks like the other kids have got it in f'r ya. That, and Mystique's a crazy -bleep-.
Storm: Logan!
Wolverine: (shrugs) They'll bleep it out...
(The camera moves to the pool out back. It's around noon. Everyone but Rogue is in the pool swimming. Rogue is sitting in the shade and reading a book, completely covered up and obviously very miserable because of the heat. Everyone else is having a grand time in the Olympic size pool. "Summertime" by Sublime plays in the background.)
Jamie: (splashes the lawn chair she's sitting on) Come on, Roguey! Have some fun.
Rogue: (mock-sweetly) Jamie, sugah, do ya have death wish?
Jamie: (reluctantly cowers away)
(Zoom in on Tabitha, Jean, Bobby, Toad, Jamie, and Remy.)
Tabitha: All right, that's it. We're going to get that cynical little -bleep- to have some kind of fun today if it takes us all night!
Jean: Amen to that. I'm getting sick of her moping around. I'm psychic... she's miserable in this heat and she sure isn't having a grand time over there by herself.
Bobby: Well, I could always cool her down...
Remy: Turnin' Roguey int' a Popsicle ain't an option, homme.
Jamie: But how are we going to get her to come down here?
Toad: Don't ask me, yo. I lived wit' the chick, too, remember? She would never go anywhere- even if we tried t' drag her there. She ain't exactly Miss Social, if ya know what I mean.
Remy: Den leave it t' me. Ain't no fille resist Gambit.
Jean: (raises an eyebrow) Oh really? I'd like to see the day when you get Rogue, who is obviously annoyed at your advances, to change into a bathing suit and swim with you of all people.
Tabitha: Hell, I'd even like to see you get her to put down that book.
Remy: Dat a challenge, chere?
Tabitha: Yeah, it's a challenge. Let's even make it a bet.
Bobby: I'm in then.
Jean: Me too.
Toad: No way! You're psychic! That ain't no fair!
Jamie: Count me in. I'll bet you ten dollars that Gambit will get her in the pool.
Remy: Nice t' see dat somebody got faith in Remy. Kinda makes me regret pointin' de finger at ya earlier.
Bobby: I don't, because it was funnier than -bleep-!
Jean: (smacks Bobby on the head) That wasn't funny... actually... it kind of was....
(everyone laughs at the recollection)
Remy: Well, au reviour, everybody. 'm 'bout t' catch me a Southern Belle. (climbs out of the pool. Everyone watches as he walks up to Rogue)
Jean: I'll give him ten seconds to get a few words in before Rogue shoves him in this pool...
Tabitha: Or kills him...
Jamie: Or slaps him...
Bobby: Or punches him...
Toad: Or looks him in the bathroom fo' a whole day...
(Everyone stares)
Toad: She told me t' leave her alone an take a shower. I call her a -bleep- an the next thing I know, I'm gettin' thrown in a bathtub an locked in the room. But after a while I finally got that window opened and hopped out. (pause) That chick's crazy, yo!
(Camera fades to Toad. Zoom into face. Camera man gets too repulsed, so he zooms out a little. Caption: Todd Tolensky aka Toad)
Toad: Man, that Rogue girl is seriously -bleep-ed up in the head. Go figure. Look who her mom is, yo! And they all look at me like I'm the insane one! (a fly zooms by and he sticks out his tongue to catch it.)
(gagging sounds are heard from behind the camera)
(zoom into Rogue, who is stripping out of her soaked clothes to reveal a metallic green bikini. She makes a pile by the lawn chair, and then settles back in the chair to read)
Remy: (walks by, then goes slack-jawed at her practically bare body) Uhhh... Hellooo, chere.
Rogue: (looks up from The Witching Hour) Oh. You again.
Remy: (sits down by her) Lovely day fo' a swim, eh p'tite?
Rogue: Not really. Ah don't like t' swim. Ya know what all is in a pool?
Remy: Chemicals? An if Gambit knew exactly, he prob'ly wouldn't be swimmin' in one now would he? 'Sides, it might cool ya down a lil'. Ya look hot, an not jus' in de temperature sense... (leers) I mean, damn, where you been hidin' dose t'ings, chere?
Rogue: (punches him) Creep!
(Everyone at the pool is now looking incredulously at Bobby.)
Bobby: Past experience. Pay up.
(cut back to the Romyness)
Remy: (rubs his jaw) Chere, ya may have hit me, but I still ain't woken up from dis dream yet...
Rogue: Oh please! (puts book down. Gets up to get a beach umbrella, as the sun is shining right on her chair.)
Remy: (follows her) Where ya goin', chere?
Rogue: AWAY FROM YOU! (finds one, and then turns to walk to the lawn chair.)
Remy: *sigh* Fine, Remy leave you alone. (She turns away from him and he grins. He walks by and pinches her butt. He picks up his pace and walks away, close to the edge of the pool, whistling)
Rogue: (drops the umbrella) Why you!
(She charges at him, meaning to throw him into the pool. Of course, Remy is very agile and he moves away just in time for Rogue to realize her mistake and plunge into the icy water.)
(Rogue surfaces, gasping for air)
Rogue: -Bleep-!
Remy: (just laughs and dives into the pool) Weeell, guess ya just couldn't resist goin' fo' a dip in de pool wit me, huh? Next time we should try skinny dippin', p'tite.
Rogue: (growls) Ah'll get ya back, Gambit. You just wait.
Remy: (pauses) 'm waitin', Roguey.
Rogue: (shoves him) Shut up!
Remy: (laughs again, and then swims over to the group) I do believe me an de Jamester here said ten bucks?
Jean: Cheater!
Remy: (mock-innocently) I got her in de pool, didn't I?
Tabitha: (giggles) That was smooth.
Bobby: Yeah, I've got to give you credit. I think Rogue really is falling for you... literally.
(Everyone groans)'
Toad: I may smell, but da stench ain't as bad as yo' jokes.
Jean: (suppresses a laugh) Ouch!
Bobby: (attempts to turn the toad into a Frogsicle)
Toad: Whoa! It was a joke, yo! (jumps away, frightened) No one gets my sense of humor!
Gambit: (calls after him) Where's my money, homme?
(Close up of Bobby. He smiles goofily. Caption: Bobby Drake aka Iceman)
Bobby: They can't deny it. My jokes are brilliant! And my pranks? (laughs) Nothing short of genius. Just stay tuned to see what I have in store for the girls in an unsuspecting shampoo bottle...
("Original Prankser" by the Offspring plays in the background. Footage shot a while back, before everyone went out to swim. Time is displayed on the bottom: 10:53 A.M. Bobby sneaks into the girls room with a bottle of at-home hair bleach. He grabs a bottle of Herbal Essence and pour the bleach into it. He shakes it up and then leaves.)
(End flashback. Hello present time. Jean walks into the bathroom.)
Jean: Ugh, I can't wait to get this chlorine smell off from me.
Tabitha: (Drying off her hair) Does my hair look lighter to you?
Jean: Sorta. Hmmm... maybe it was the sun.
Tabitha: (shrugs) Oh well...
(Bathroom door closes as Tabitha steps outs. Camera watches Tabitha put on her make-up. Shower turns on. Tabitha turns on her stereo and listens to the Donnas. The shower turns off. A scream is heard a few minutes later. A bleach blonde Jean runs out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped tightly around her body. Tabitha's eyes grow wide. Rogue chooses that exact moment to walk upstairs. She starts to laugh hysterically at Jean's new hair color. A camera flashes in Jean's face as Bobby takes off down the hallway.)
Jean: (fumes as she runs after him) Robert Drake! What did I tell you about your pranks?! You're one dead man!
Bobby: Next time (if Jean doesn't kill me)... on The Real World: Bayville...
Jean: I'm sick of his pranks. We're taking matters into our own hands!
Tabitha: You mean I kissed... her?! She was pretending to be him the whole time?! That has to be the most totally disgusting thing I've ever experienced in my life!
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Mwahahaha! Three guess to who Tabby's bitchin' about. And the first two don't count. Please review I looove your comments!!! I'm hyper too WOOOOO!