She brushed her hair out back from her face and blinked the exhaustion from her eyes. It probably wasn't anything to be worried about, but she wouldn't able to rest until she was sure he was alright.
And she didn't venture far before she found him. He was sitting at the kitchen table, head bowed so she couldn't see his face, and his fingers were tangled in his hair. Something was wrong.
"Cloud."
He didn't look up at her. "...go back to sleep."
Of course, she didn't listen. He was trying to play it off as no big deal, but Tifa knew better. When he realized she wasn't going anywhere, he looked up at her. She knew what was wrong even before she saw it in his eyes.
Nightmares.
The way the dim light hit his eyes -- the dull mako glow, Tifa caught a glimpse of the restlessness inside that he could not begin to put into words. Sephiroth, Shinra, Meteor... those were all over with; long gone. But their memories never did leave them. Some things you just can't forget. It's possible to shove the memories in the farthest and darkest corners of the conscience, but they would always come back, in dreams or triggered by something else. This wasn't the first time it happened; both of them had lost sleep on nights like these, but Cloud had it worse.
He looked back down again and insisted that he would be fine and that she go back to sleep. But she didn't leave, and she knew deep down that he really didn't want her to.
She went over and sat next to him, and rested her head on his shoulder. This wasn't just their house. When they first got it everyone from AVALANCHE was always hanging around. It was hardly ever just the two of them here.
Sometimes they just didn't want to be alone.
She felt his tense shoulders relax, and he leaned closer. Sometimes she wondered why they were still only friends. It seemed they'd been through everything together, known each other long before anyone else did, struggled with the same demons. Sometimes she was almost sure he felt the same way, and so many times she had almost brought herself to say it but couldn't. It had set in that all she really had was their relationship, and she valued it more than anything else. To tell him would risk everything she had, and she couldn't bear to do that.
*~*~*~*~*It was afternoon check-out time at the hotel, and the main floor was filled with the aroma of hazelnut coffee. Reno was standing by the breakfast pastries table, well into consuming his fourth jelly donut. He was very impressed with this place for actually carrying them (though he still didn't get what the deal was with the pink bedding). No matter how 'cultured' he became as a Turk, he never stopped liking the things. Greatest culinary invention, if he ever saw one.
When he got the ridiculously expensive check for Reno's stay at the inn, Cloud threw a scowl in his direction, and he stopped licking his fingers to smile innocently, enjoying his sweet revenge. The tables always turn when you mess with Reno.
He looked over and noticed Tifa standing near the entrance, looking pretty tired. Last night was exhausting, and he was grateful that he'd slept in longer, although they should have left town several hours ago. They were going to walk for a great deal again, hit the chocobo stables, then it's off to Junon. But at this rate, they would probably arrive too late for the boat to Costa Del Sol.
They left the inn, and the sunlight was so bright it made Reno squint. He was really sick of walking, but it couldn't be helped, because it obviously had never occurred to Cloud to buy a friggin' car.
Tifa spent the next several minutes staring out at the rolling plains ahead of them, the vivid shades of blues and greens filling up her vision. Inhaling the fresh air, she returned to her placid thoughts. She subconsciously lagged behind them, listening to the nearby ocean, the chirping birds, and... Cloud calling Reno an alcoholic. Right when she was starting to think it was such a beautiful day, they were back to mindlessly bickering at each other again.
The Turk raised his chin haughtily. "'Alcoholic'? I prefer the term oenophile."
Cloud snorted sarcastically. "Right."
"Wait... you know what that means?" Reno was distraught. Cloud was supposed to be the idiot here.
He just shrugged. "Doesn't everyone?"
Tifa, who had been completely silent the entire time, piped up from behind. "I don't!"
But no one heard her.
They had their glares fixed on one another, too immersed in their argument to pay attention to anything else. "Now are we done with the nugatory diatribe here?"
Reno narrowed his eyes into dark aquamarine slits. He wasn't about to let Cloud know that he had no idea what he'd just said, so he changed the subject altogether. "You're funny-lookin'."
"You look like a famine victim."
Tifa found herself tuning out. She'd told Cloud earlier that they had to work things out on their own, but that seemed more and more like an utter impossibility. She could feel her nerves being grated and her temper become shorter and shorter. She wasn't sure why Reno insisted on giving Cloud hell. Every insult was accompanied by an amused smirk, but something about the look he had in his eye when he said them gave the impression that he was doing this for more than the fun of it. The spite was almost tangible in his voice, too. Did he really hate him that much?
Actually acknowledging her existence after a long while, Reno turned around. "Hey Tifa, which one of us is more funny-looking, me or Cloud?"
She snapped out of her train of thought, and the two of them stared at Tifa expectantly as she gazed disbelievingly back at them. She refused to answer such an absurd question, especially since they'd been ignoring her for so long. Cloud had this you're-supposed-to-side-with-me look on his face and Reno looked so confident and smug; his expression told her that this was an easy question to answer.
By now they'd completely stopped walking, time was ticking and they were still waiting for her reply. But much to their dismay, she wasn't going to give them one.
"Oh, this is ridiculous." She reached out and grabbed hold of one of the spikes on Cloud's head and pulled hard. He yelped in surprise and stumbled forward, her hand still grasping his hair. "That's enough. There'll be no more exchanging of insults as long as the three of us are together, whether you started it or not."
Cloud nodded meekly.
"Heheheh..." This was gold! Reno laughed, wishing more than anything he had a camera on him now. But then Tifa's hand shot out and she yanked at his ponytail, his own face contorting in astonishment and pain. "And YOU," she hissed. Reno didn't miss the underlying threatening tone of her voice. "You should just keep your mouth shut altogether!"
"Yes ma'am!" He hated how lame he sounded, but his head throbbed and he didn't want to say anything to make her pull any harder.
Tifa exhaled shortly, calming down from her fit. "Now," she said pleasantly, as if nothing had ever happened, "we are going." And with that she walked forward, a death grip still on the hair of both men, who staggered behind her pathetically.
*~*~*~*~*When Tifa decided they had learned their lesson she finally let go, and they walked the rest of the way in resentful silence, the tall grasses surrounding the chocobo stables getting tangled up in their legs. Reno stumbled some more, grumbling something or other about lawnmowers. He'd never ridden a chocobo before, and he'd never seen any of the funky colored breeds up close. All that was going to change today, and he had no clue what to expect.
They walked into the humble little barn, where they were greeted by a kid, clad in overalls with a straw hat on his head. Reno's mouth scrunched to the side and his shoulders shook in silent laughter. Cloud shot a glare at him, imploring him not to say a word.
So he didn't. But it was hard.
His hands stuffed into his pockets, he slowly walked along the corrals, looking at every chocobo he passed by. There were two gold chocobos, one of which he wanted to ride (being the youngest Turk yet the oldest person in this particular entourage at twenty-four, he thought he should be the one to choose first), but those were always reserved for Tifa and Cloud, so he had to settle for a different one.
Then he found himself staring into the steely gray eyes of a certain chocobo, with black feathers and plumage that shone a sort of metallic violet when they caught the light. Reno's gaze slid over to the name plate, which, with gender and rank, read his name: Maelstrom.
Reno let out an elongated "cool" under his breath, and turned his head and obnoxiously called out: "Hey Cleatus! I want this one!"
Choco Billy -- whose name was certainly not Cleatus -- threw a nervous look in the general direction of Chole, then at Tifa and Cloud(who were looking angry themselves). Flustered but nonetheless polite, he helped Maelstrom out of his stable and began telling Reno the do's and don'ts of chocobo riding, none of which he was listening to. Acting like some drug store cowboy he hopped on his chocobo, barely hearing Choco Billy say that Maelstrom had the tendency to run very fast.
The three of them were led out of the barn, bid farewell by their hickish counterparts. "Now remember, kids..." Reno said to Choco Billy and Chole with a parental tone of voice, "Never drink and drive..... the tractor."
They looked mortified.
Cloud and Tifa gave him one millisecond of a glare and they were off, chasing him back through the grass meadows. Maelstrom was running so fast that he was leaning forward, wings outspread, and Reno was laughing so hard he nearly fell off several times. Tifa was really going to kick him for this one, but he just couldn't resist. *~*~*~*~*
It was dusk when they arrived at Junon, and as expected, they'd missed the boat to Costa Del Sol. They could do nothing but stay at an inn for the night and wait for the next day's ride.
Tifa leaned over the rail and stared down at the water, alone with her thoughts. She was supposed to be asleep now, but she just wasn't tired. Junon wasn't exactly the safest place for a woman to be outside and alone at night, but it wasn't as if she couldn't protect herself.
There were all kinds of tanked weirdos stumbling around on the streets behind her, but she didn't pay any attention to them, and they didn't seem to notice her. Tifa was just fine with that. But then she heard someone's footsteps coming too close... she knew they were approaching her. When she could sense them right behind her she whirled around and kicked them, hard, in the leg. It wasn't much of an attack, but it was really too dark to see what she was doing.
The stranger fell onto one knee, clutching his other leg. Tifa was poised to do a triple combination if he would get up again, but she saw a nearby streetlight catch a coppery shock of red. "Will you... STOP that!" The voice was unmistakable.
She eased out of her tense fighting stance. "Are you alright?"
Reno grunted. "I WILL be..." he looked up to see that she had turned back around.
"What are you doing out here?" Tifa nearly demanded.
He stood up and limped over next to her. "I just came out for a cigarette. What are YOU doing out here?"
She didn't reply directly. "Can't sleep either?" The cold distance in her voice told him her mind was elsewhere.
Wondering what the deal was with her, Reno gave her a funny look, though she wasn't facing him. "No, not really."
He lit his cigarette, and they stood in silence. They looked ahead, out over the black water and the muted light from the dim stars that skidded across it. Seconds stretched into minutes, and she hadn't made any effort to start a conversation or even say a word, which Reno couldn't help but think was so unlike her.
He was halfway through his cigarette when he spoke. "Well. Quite the antisocial butterfly this evening, are you?"
She glanced over at him, bored detachment plain on his face, even in the dim light. He could be so collected sometimes it made her think of Vincent, and she'd since concluded it must have been a Turk thing.
"Why do you hate AVALANCHE?"
The question got him to look over at her, his raised eyebrow being the only sign of surprise. "...I think the question should be more like whether this planet was worth saving."
"What do you mean?"
Reno stared at her for a moment. She really had no idea, did she? His own experiences in life had taught him that the world is a very bleak place, and you were a fool to think it otherwise. Even after her planet-saving adventure with her little buddies, was she so oblivious to the hundreds of problems that remained?
He brought his arms up, motioning all around him. "Come on, Tifa, look at this place. Shinra isn't around anymore, but are we that much better off? The crime rate's through the roof in major city areas. If you wanna make the planet safer, you might wanna build a psychiatric hospital, cuz now we got drunks with post-traumatic stress disorder staggering around!"
Tifa brought her head up to meet his gaze. "And who's responsible for these problems in the first place?"
Reno let his arms drop to his sides, not liking where this was going. He turned back to face the water, taking a furious drag of his cigarette, and he gave her a sideways stare that told her he didn't want to go there.
"Have you ever looked back on what you've done... with any remorse?"
Reno craned his neck to see the street sign. "What is this, Memory Lane?" He noticed Tifa's glare fixed on him, frustrated that he was skirting the subject. Who was she to point fingers, anyway? "Hey, don't jump down MY throat. You guys aren't exactly saints, either. And nothing you did or will do is ever gonna make up for it."
Tifa put her hand on her hip, looking at him in disbelief. "You hold what we did against us?"
"Everything messed up when you came into the picture! Because of you people I lost my job, and now I have a worse one where I'll probably be planting flowers for my next mission. And I was unemployed for a really friggin' long time. Do you know what I ate for breakfast last week? Shake 'n Bake. A box of Shake 'n Bake! Although the most disturbing thing about that is I don't remember ever buying it, because I never had intentions to make fried chicken since I can't cook, let alone boil water." He realized Tifa staring at him blankly, and he hastily shook his head. "But anyway, I'm digressing."
"So even after all this, you would rather Shinra was still around?"
Reno didn't need to think about that one. "Yes!"
And he'd said it truthfully. When he worked for Shinra he didn't have to worry about being so broke he was subject to eating fried chicken coating.
Tifa closed her eyes and shook her head, and Reno didn't like the feeling he got from it. She opened them again and looked up at him her eyes smoldering black, her dark hair framing her pale face. "Forget it. I have nothing more to say to you." It wasn't so much what she said but how she said it that made him feel like he should be ashamed of himself. The pity and disgust in her voice caused him to look down, and he pretended to still be crushing the cigarette under his boot. And in doing so, his eyes were concealed in scar-rimmed shadows, his mouth was drawn out in a bitter line. Do I look proud of myself? He wanted to say. Don't look at me like that. You can't blame me for not having a choice in what I had to do. Without Shinra there was nothing for me...
But she had walked away, and now more than ever Reno wanted nothing other than something hard to drink.
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Ridiculously Long Author's Note: Ay! I have to apologize (again) for taking forever to update. The reason was mostly writer's block and THIS stupid piece of junk... *kicks computer* It got this virus type thing where it started destroying its own files, so we ended up erasing everything on the hard drive, and I lost all my stuff. And for a LONG while I just couldn't write. I knew exactly where they were going and what they were going to do in this chapter, but it just came out sounding lame and forced, and dialogue was all blah-y. Making myself write only seemed to make it worse, so I did the only thing I could do: I walked away from it. Then one day I sat back down and had a satisfying chapter typed up in two days.
It hasn't occurred to me until now just how much poor Reno's been slapped around throughout this fic! And I'm not sure why, either, o_o but I'll try to go easier on him in the future.
And it may have occurred to you that *gasp* Cloud isn't a blithering idiot! Yes, he does have the tendency to point out the blatantly obvious, and yes, he seems oblivious to Tifa's feelings for him. But no, he does not have borderline intellectual functioning. I refuse the make Cloud the airheaded blonde he's portrayed as in so many other fics.And I'm sorry if I sent you foraging through the dictionary, but if you haven't already, I'll tell you what those big words meant. An oenophile is a fancy-schmancy word for a wine connoisseur (Reno would know, wouldn't he ^_^), nugatory means trifling or of no importance; diatribe is verbal abuse. And I used a horse term for chocobos, I must confess. A drugstore cowboy, if I remember correctly, is someone who thinks they can just get on a horse and ride it, or something along the lines of that.
I have just begun high school, and I have noooo clue how much of my time it will demand. I'll probably only be able to write on weekends, so it might take longer to update. In the next chapters it gets deeper, so I have to think things through more.
Ah, another long author's note by yours truly. Next chapter: Reno runs(or should I say, stumbles?) into someone we know, and, um... other stuff happens that I can't give away -_-.
Anywho, please leave a review on your way out!