Shades of a Relationship
Part 2: Transitions
Chapter 1
By: Kamikazee E-Mail: neo_kamikazee@hotmail.com Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all related to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and J. K. Rowling owns everything related to the Harry Potter series. Summary: Is there any hope for Willow to have a happy relationship? Pairing: Willow/Harry Distribution: Fanfiction.net, Twisting the Hellmouth. Anyone else just e- mail me. Author's Notes: Willow's POV. Takes place several weeks after the end of Friendship.
~
I don't know when I stopped seeing him as that 9 year old I had befriended so many years ago. It seemed as though one day I just began to notice. Notice how his green eyes sparkled with kindness. How his black hair always seemed to hang over his face, forcing me to resist the urge to brush it behind his ears.
He's been my light these past couple of weeks. It's nice to have someone who is willing to listen without the emotions of those that had been there. He didn't see me as a danger, as a freak or as a murderer, he saw me as the small girl who had gone out of her way to make him feel wanted.
And that's where the problem arises. He still sees me as that girl, the innocent wallflower with nothing but kind thoughts and good intentions. He sees a friend, someone that he doesn't need to act around. I've forgotten how painful it is to do this, to hide my feelings for fear of rejection.
Not that I think he's reject me. I doubt Harry could do that. But nothing would be the same again. There would always be a lingering uncomfortable air around us. The air that said that one of us wanted more than the other, more than the other could offer.
I wish I didn't feel this way about him. I wish I could think of him as just a good friend, but I can't. Sometime during the past weeks as he's been showing me throughout this wonderful castle and its grounds, things have changed.
He makes me happy, a daunting task lately. I find myself simply smiling around him, for no apparent reason. The thought of seeing him helps me to get up in the morning and his image manages to chase the nightmares away at night. He's become such an integral part of my life that I don't know what I'd do without him.
That seems to be a pattern with me; I can't seem to do things in moderation. When I love someone, I love them with all of myself; all my passion, all my heart, all my mind. I don't have the greatest track records for how these relationships end. Xander, my best friend, and for the longest time, my secret love. I admired him for the majority of our childhood; despaired when he didn't notice me and rejoiced at the small things he did for me. Look, where it got me: an attempted spell, a kidnapping, an injury, a break up and a near break up.
Oz, the first guy to show any romantic interest in me (and ironically, the last). Oz was my first real relationship. A soft, comfortable love that I put my whole into. When I saw him and Veruca together I shattered. I suppose that's when I actually started to use magic to try and solve my problems. In hindsight, not the best idea.
Then there was Tara. Tara was my everything. She put me back together and made me whole. I suppose most think that I'm gay, but that's actually only a half-truth. Tara was the only girl I could have possibly fallen for. It wasn't about our sex; it was about our souls. Tara was special. When she was killed. I suppose it would be corny to say my heart was broken, a lie as well. No my heart wasn't broken; it was ripped out. All that was left was a gaping black hole.
Harry, however, is different then all of them. Harry saved me. What, you say, didn't Xander save her? No, Xander saved the world. But Harry, Harry saved me. Saved me from myself, from the darkness and loneliness that was eating me up inside. He brought me back into the sunlight.
"Willow," Harry yells across the grass, "I've been looking for you all over." A smile lights up my face. Even if he can't feel the same way about me, at least he'll always be in my memories, my heart.
"Hi, Harry," I replied cheerfully, rising to meet him, "What were you looking for me for?" He looks flustered; cheeks rosy from running, coal hair flying in every direction and emerald eyes alight with good humour.
"I just figured something out," he stage whispered to me excitedly, "I wanted you to be the first to know." His grin was boyish in its boisterous happiness.
"What?" I giggle, looking up at him as he stands in front of me. Our eyes meet, green to green.
"This." the word is breathy against my lips right before he presses his against them, softly.
His lips are like heaven, eternal bliss, with a slight taste of chocolate frogs in the back.
~
So, what do you think?
~Kamikazee
By: Kamikazee E-Mail: neo_kamikazee@hotmail.com Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all related to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and J. K. Rowling owns everything related to the Harry Potter series. Summary: Is there any hope for Willow to have a happy relationship? Pairing: Willow/Harry Distribution: Fanfiction.net, Twisting the Hellmouth. Anyone else just e- mail me. Author's Notes: Willow's POV. Takes place several weeks after the end of Friendship.
~
I don't know when I stopped seeing him as that 9 year old I had befriended so many years ago. It seemed as though one day I just began to notice. Notice how his green eyes sparkled with kindness. How his black hair always seemed to hang over his face, forcing me to resist the urge to brush it behind his ears.
He's been my light these past couple of weeks. It's nice to have someone who is willing to listen without the emotions of those that had been there. He didn't see me as a danger, as a freak or as a murderer, he saw me as the small girl who had gone out of her way to make him feel wanted.
And that's where the problem arises. He still sees me as that girl, the innocent wallflower with nothing but kind thoughts and good intentions. He sees a friend, someone that he doesn't need to act around. I've forgotten how painful it is to do this, to hide my feelings for fear of rejection.
Not that I think he's reject me. I doubt Harry could do that. But nothing would be the same again. There would always be a lingering uncomfortable air around us. The air that said that one of us wanted more than the other, more than the other could offer.
I wish I didn't feel this way about him. I wish I could think of him as just a good friend, but I can't. Sometime during the past weeks as he's been showing me throughout this wonderful castle and its grounds, things have changed.
He makes me happy, a daunting task lately. I find myself simply smiling around him, for no apparent reason. The thought of seeing him helps me to get up in the morning and his image manages to chase the nightmares away at night. He's become such an integral part of my life that I don't know what I'd do without him.
That seems to be a pattern with me; I can't seem to do things in moderation. When I love someone, I love them with all of myself; all my passion, all my heart, all my mind. I don't have the greatest track records for how these relationships end. Xander, my best friend, and for the longest time, my secret love. I admired him for the majority of our childhood; despaired when he didn't notice me and rejoiced at the small things he did for me. Look, where it got me: an attempted spell, a kidnapping, an injury, a break up and a near break up.
Oz, the first guy to show any romantic interest in me (and ironically, the last). Oz was my first real relationship. A soft, comfortable love that I put my whole into. When I saw him and Veruca together I shattered. I suppose that's when I actually started to use magic to try and solve my problems. In hindsight, not the best idea.
Then there was Tara. Tara was my everything. She put me back together and made me whole. I suppose most think that I'm gay, but that's actually only a half-truth. Tara was the only girl I could have possibly fallen for. It wasn't about our sex; it was about our souls. Tara was special. When she was killed. I suppose it would be corny to say my heart was broken, a lie as well. No my heart wasn't broken; it was ripped out. All that was left was a gaping black hole.
Harry, however, is different then all of them. Harry saved me. What, you say, didn't Xander save her? No, Xander saved the world. But Harry, Harry saved me. Saved me from myself, from the darkness and loneliness that was eating me up inside. He brought me back into the sunlight.
"Willow," Harry yells across the grass, "I've been looking for you all over." A smile lights up my face. Even if he can't feel the same way about me, at least he'll always be in my memories, my heart.
"Hi, Harry," I replied cheerfully, rising to meet him, "What were you looking for me for?" He looks flustered; cheeks rosy from running, coal hair flying in every direction and emerald eyes alight with good humour.
"I just figured something out," he stage whispered to me excitedly, "I wanted you to be the first to know." His grin was boyish in its boisterous happiness.
"What?" I giggle, looking up at him as he stands in front of me. Our eyes meet, green to green.
"This." the word is breathy against my lips right before he presses his against them, softly.
His lips are like heaven, eternal bliss, with a slight taste of chocolate frogs in the back.
~
So, what do you think?
~Kamikazee