Well, this is it. The final chapter. And it's fairly dark and
depressing. But I was listening to Cradle Of Filth's "Suicide and Other
Comforts" when I was writing this, so what did you expect? This is broken
into two parts. For no obvious reason, I would like to add. Just because.
I was going to make it two separate chapters, but I really just wanted to
keep them together, so instead there's Part I and Part II.
Sooooo......Here ya go:
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
~Part I~
I look at him. He will not look at me. He is staring into his bowl of cereal. He seems to find it fascinating.
I stare into my own bowl. All I see is soggy cereal, cereal that has been sitting there for much longer than it should.
I get up and throw it out. I have no appetite. Something is wrong with him. I can sense it. And I am hurting. Because he will not tell me what is going on. But something is. Something that matters. Because he has never acted this way before. Never.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I stare into my cereal. I do not find it appetizing.
I look at my hands, at my palms. They were stained with blood in my dream. So red, so wet, so warm.
I can still see it. My palms still are red. They still are wet. They still are covered in sweet, crimson blood.
I am no longer with Ryou. I am kneeling in the desert.
My palms burn. My skin sizzles as the blood sinks in. I scream out in agony as the sky above turns as red as blood.
The sand beneath me shifts. The wind blows hard, blowing sand around me. Some part of my mind tells me to run. Some part of my mind tells me to stay.
I could die here, I think. I could die here in the sand, become buried under it. No one would even ever know.
Sand blows into my hair. It hits my face, stinging it. It hits my bare chest, flowing around my body. It covers my legs, echoing my thoughts of burial.
I could die here. I could pay for killing my love. I could pay......
I _should_ pay. I need to be punished for whatever I have done. I need to punish myself.
No one else even knows that his death was my fault.
His?.....My love.....was a male?
More memories come. Looking into his eyes for the first time, kissing him for the first time, making love to him for the first time......
His eyes. So haunting. So familiar.....I recognize them, yet I don't. He has no face to me. Only those haunting eyes.......
The sand swirls around me. All I see are his eyes. Following me. Accusing me. His eyes......
I scream.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
My head jerks toward the table. I drop the bowl. My yami sits at the table, clutching his head in his hands, screaming. Blood covers his hands.
Blood?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I am sitting at the table. I am screaming. I am in Egypt, 5000 years ago. I am screaming. His eyes are everywhere. They will not leave me alone. I am screaming. I am sitting at the table in the kitchen. I am screaming. Ryou is looking at me. I am screaming. I am lying in the sand. His eyes are watching me. I am screaming. I am screaming.......
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I do not know what to do. Blood? _Blood?_ I do not know what is going on. My yami is not even here. His eyes are far away, and he is still screaming.
Where is he?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
He is looking at me. Ryou is looking at me. His eyes are looking at me. His eyes......
His eyes......Oh Ra......No......
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
~Part II~
I shoot back to reality. I shoot back to the present. I shoot back to the kitchen table.
I am still screaming.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
His eyes return. His eyes are back here in the present. He is back with me. But he is still screaming. What did he see that could affect him so much? Where did he go?
What haunts him?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
My scream dies in my throat. I breathe hard, my heart pounding. Blood still covers my hands.
How?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I keep my distance. I love him, but I am afraid of him. Blood.....So much blood on his hands. Where did it come from?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I swallow hard. The truth that I have learned is like an arrow to my heart. My heart has broken. And now I must brake his. Or else I shall be the cause of his death.......
Again.......
"Ryou?" I saw softly, my heart screaming out to the gods for there to be some other way.
There is no other way.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"Ryou?" he says softly, a tone in his voice that I do not recognize.
"Y-yes?" I whisper, a great fear nagging in my mind. And something else.
Something about the blood on his hands calls to me.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"Y-yes?" he whispers, stuttering a bit. My heart breaks even more, if that is even possible.
"Ryou..." I say again, my mind willing me to speak, yet my heart telling me to remain mute, and god damn the past.
I get up. Fear flashes through his eyes as I step near him. Fear like from the days when I would beat him.
I take him in my arms. I press my face in his hair, cementing his scent in my mind. I kiss him, cementing the taste of his mouth, the feel of his lips on mine. I look at him, cementing his face in my heart.
He looks at me, no fear left in his eyes. Only love. Only love, and the knowledge that I am going to tell him something that will affect his life.
I close my eyes. I cannot find the words. I know that I must push him away. I cannot risk him trying to keep me here. His life depends on it.
I must push him away......forever.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
He takes me in his arms. He kisses me. He has never kissed me in this way before. This is a kiss of great need, as if he will never kiss me again. As if this is goodbye......
He looks at me. Something is in his eyes. Something like sadness, and deep regret.
This _is_ goodbye!
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
His eyes reflect it. He knows. He knows that this is the end of us. Oh, Ra......Give me strength......
"Ryou..." I saw one final time. My voice is weak. I harden it. I become the man I once was, a cold man who cared nothing for anyone. Especially my koi-I mean light. Not my koi. Never again.
"I never loved you, Ryou. I used you. You were a game for me to play, and an easy one at that. You mean nothing to me........" My voice almost cracks at the end, but I catch myself.
May Ra forgive me for what I have done.....Both in the past and now.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
His voice is cold. His voice is emotionless. His voice is how it used to be.
"I never loved you, Ryou. I used you. You were a game for me to play, and an easy one at that. You mean nothing to me......."
His words are a mental slap to me. Even the physical abuse he put me through in the past was nothing compared to this.
My heart has just been ripped apart.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
He looks as though I have hit him. perhaps I should have. It would have been less painful for him, I am sure.......
I turn away from him, my light, my hikari, my love. I turn away and walk out the door.
It is done...
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
He walks out.
His words haunt me. His words resound in my head.
I was nothing to him.
I am nothing to him.
I am nothing......
I open a drawer. I take out a steak knife. I slowly draw it across my left wrist. A thin trail of blood flows out.
Bright, red, thick blood.........
It looks just like the blood on his hands......
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I have walked only outside the door. I cannot do this......
I cannot leave him..........
I stand outside the door, my mind and heart battling each other.
My mind knows that I will only be the cause of Ryou's death. I was in the past, and I will be now. But my heart is breaking.
My heart will not let me leave him.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I run the blade over my right wrist. Another trail of blood appears. So pretty.......
I feel myself falling to the floor. I see my blood spread out all over the white tiles. I feel myself fading away........
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I turn around to go back in the house. I need to tell Ryou the truth. I need to have him with me.
My hand reaches for the door handle. The blood on my palms catches my eye.
I am falling back to the past. I am no longer outside his house. I am in the sand, screaming.
Images of a young Egyptian boy flash through my mind. His fair white hair, his pure brown eyes, his bloody body.......
His bloody body with slit wrists........The knife in his hands......
NO!
He killed himself for me in the past. He killed himself for me........
Oh, Ra, don't let me be too late........
I am in the present again. I shove the door open. I run into the kitchen. I fall to the floor beside his body.
I've killed him again..........
~END~
So there you go. The end of "Open Your Eyes." *sigh* I have to admit, I'm very proud of this fic. I think I did good on it.....And this chapter is by far my favourite.
Ok, a few things I need to say. First off, thank you soooo friggin much to all the people who have reviewed this, or even just read it and not bothered to review. I appreciate you all taking the time to read this, and all the wonderful reviews were great.
I _am_ making a prequel to this, and it will be set in Ancient Egypt. It will be a _lot_ less dark and depressing, and more romantic and fluffy. Because I know how everyone loves that, and after this ending, I figure everyone deserves some nice Ryou/Bakura fluff. So I'll start working on that soon and hopefully have it up sometime in May.
I'm putting the lyrics to Cradle Of Filth's "Suicide and Other Comforts" as a separate chapter after this one, because it just is such a great song, and if you listen to it while reading this chapter, it just works. I recommend it if you're looking for a good song to download.
Sooooo.......I guess, until the prequel, this is goodbye. Thanks again to everyone who's read this and put up with the random plot twists and insane dark thoughts that came from my mind.
*kisses*
~TaLoN~
Sooooo......Here ya go:
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
~Part I~
I look at him. He will not look at me. He is staring into his bowl of cereal. He seems to find it fascinating.
I stare into my own bowl. All I see is soggy cereal, cereal that has been sitting there for much longer than it should.
I get up and throw it out. I have no appetite. Something is wrong with him. I can sense it. And I am hurting. Because he will not tell me what is going on. But something is. Something that matters. Because he has never acted this way before. Never.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I stare into my cereal. I do not find it appetizing.
I look at my hands, at my palms. They were stained with blood in my dream. So red, so wet, so warm.
I can still see it. My palms still are red. They still are wet. They still are covered in sweet, crimson blood.
I am no longer with Ryou. I am kneeling in the desert.
My palms burn. My skin sizzles as the blood sinks in. I scream out in agony as the sky above turns as red as blood.
The sand beneath me shifts. The wind blows hard, blowing sand around me. Some part of my mind tells me to run. Some part of my mind tells me to stay.
I could die here, I think. I could die here in the sand, become buried under it. No one would even ever know.
Sand blows into my hair. It hits my face, stinging it. It hits my bare chest, flowing around my body. It covers my legs, echoing my thoughts of burial.
I could die here. I could pay for killing my love. I could pay......
I _should_ pay. I need to be punished for whatever I have done. I need to punish myself.
No one else even knows that his death was my fault.
His?.....My love.....was a male?
More memories come. Looking into his eyes for the first time, kissing him for the first time, making love to him for the first time......
His eyes. So haunting. So familiar.....I recognize them, yet I don't. He has no face to me. Only those haunting eyes.......
The sand swirls around me. All I see are his eyes. Following me. Accusing me. His eyes......
I scream.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
My head jerks toward the table. I drop the bowl. My yami sits at the table, clutching his head in his hands, screaming. Blood covers his hands.
Blood?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I am sitting at the table. I am screaming. I am in Egypt, 5000 years ago. I am screaming. His eyes are everywhere. They will not leave me alone. I am screaming. I am sitting at the table in the kitchen. I am screaming. Ryou is looking at me. I am screaming. I am lying in the sand. His eyes are watching me. I am screaming. I am screaming.......
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I do not know what to do. Blood? _Blood?_ I do not know what is going on. My yami is not even here. His eyes are far away, and he is still screaming.
Where is he?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
He is looking at me. Ryou is looking at me. His eyes are looking at me. His eyes......
His eyes......Oh Ra......No......
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
~Part II~
I shoot back to reality. I shoot back to the present. I shoot back to the kitchen table.
I am still screaming.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
His eyes return. His eyes are back here in the present. He is back with me. But he is still screaming. What did he see that could affect him so much? Where did he go?
What haunts him?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
My scream dies in my throat. I breathe hard, my heart pounding. Blood still covers my hands.
How?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I keep my distance. I love him, but I am afraid of him. Blood.....So much blood on his hands. Where did it come from?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I swallow hard. The truth that I have learned is like an arrow to my heart. My heart has broken. And now I must brake his. Or else I shall be the cause of his death.......
Again.......
"Ryou?" I saw softly, my heart screaming out to the gods for there to be some other way.
There is no other way.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"Ryou?" he says softly, a tone in his voice that I do not recognize.
"Y-yes?" I whisper, a great fear nagging in my mind. And something else.
Something about the blood on his hands calls to me.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"Y-yes?" he whispers, stuttering a bit. My heart breaks even more, if that is even possible.
"Ryou..." I say again, my mind willing me to speak, yet my heart telling me to remain mute, and god damn the past.
I get up. Fear flashes through his eyes as I step near him. Fear like from the days when I would beat him.
I take him in my arms. I press my face in his hair, cementing his scent in my mind. I kiss him, cementing the taste of his mouth, the feel of his lips on mine. I look at him, cementing his face in my heart.
He looks at me, no fear left in his eyes. Only love. Only love, and the knowledge that I am going to tell him something that will affect his life.
I close my eyes. I cannot find the words. I know that I must push him away. I cannot risk him trying to keep me here. His life depends on it.
I must push him away......forever.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
He takes me in his arms. He kisses me. He has never kissed me in this way before. This is a kiss of great need, as if he will never kiss me again. As if this is goodbye......
He looks at me. Something is in his eyes. Something like sadness, and deep regret.
This _is_ goodbye!
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
His eyes reflect it. He knows. He knows that this is the end of us. Oh, Ra......Give me strength......
"Ryou..." I saw one final time. My voice is weak. I harden it. I become the man I once was, a cold man who cared nothing for anyone. Especially my koi-I mean light. Not my koi. Never again.
"I never loved you, Ryou. I used you. You were a game for me to play, and an easy one at that. You mean nothing to me........" My voice almost cracks at the end, but I catch myself.
May Ra forgive me for what I have done.....Both in the past and now.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
His voice is cold. His voice is emotionless. His voice is how it used to be.
"I never loved you, Ryou. I used you. You were a game for me to play, and an easy one at that. You mean nothing to me......."
His words are a mental slap to me. Even the physical abuse he put me through in the past was nothing compared to this.
My heart has just been ripped apart.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
He looks as though I have hit him. perhaps I should have. It would have been less painful for him, I am sure.......
I turn away from him, my light, my hikari, my love. I turn away and walk out the door.
It is done...
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
He walks out.
His words haunt me. His words resound in my head.
I was nothing to him.
I am nothing to him.
I am nothing......
I open a drawer. I take out a steak knife. I slowly draw it across my left wrist. A thin trail of blood flows out.
Bright, red, thick blood.........
It looks just like the blood on his hands......
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I have walked only outside the door. I cannot do this......
I cannot leave him..........
I stand outside the door, my mind and heart battling each other.
My mind knows that I will only be the cause of Ryou's death. I was in the past, and I will be now. But my heart is breaking.
My heart will not let me leave him.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I run the blade over my right wrist. Another trail of blood appears. So pretty.......
I feel myself falling to the floor. I see my blood spread out all over the white tiles. I feel myself fading away........
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I turn around to go back in the house. I need to tell Ryou the truth. I need to have him with me.
My hand reaches for the door handle. The blood on my palms catches my eye.
I am falling back to the past. I am no longer outside his house. I am in the sand, screaming.
Images of a young Egyptian boy flash through my mind. His fair white hair, his pure brown eyes, his bloody body.......
His bloody body with slit wrists........The knife in his hands......
NO!
He killed himself for me in the past. He killed himself for me........
Oh, Ra, don't let me be too late........
I am in the present again. I shove the door open. I run into the kitchen. I fall to the floor beside his body.
I've killed him again..........
~END~
So there you go. The end of "Open Your Eyes." *sigh* I have to admit, I'm very proud of this fic. I think I did good on it.....And this chapter is by far my favourite.
Ok, a few things I need to say. First off, thank you soooo friggin much to all the people who have reviewed this, or even just read it and not bothered to review. I appreciate you all taking the time to read this, and all the wonderful reviews were great.
I _am_ making a prequel to this, and it will be set in Ancient Egypt. It will be a _lot_ less dark and depressing, and more romantic and fluffy. Because I know how everyone loves that, and after this ending, I figure everyone deserves some nice Ryou/Bakura fluff. So I'll start working on that soon and hopefully have it up sometime in May.
I'm putting the lyrics to Cradle Of Filth's "Suicide and Other Comforts" as a separate chapter after this one, because it just is such a great song, and if you listen to it while reading this chapter, it just works. I recommend it if you're looking for a good song to download.
Sooooo.......I guess, until the prequel, this is goodbye. Thanks again to everyone who's read this and put up with the random plot twists and insane dark thoughts that came from my mind.
*kisses*
~TaLoN~