Chapter 3: Secret Agent Marie Prinston
Dedicated to a friend of mine who really really hates pop music.
Disclaimer: Let's get this done and over with, "I" own Carly, Marie, Lycander, the DADA (I'm not telling you who hahahahaha), and George...... George isn't in this story but he is here in spirit, lets all wish George good luck as he is off to fight intergalactic space invaders...... Opps I did it again...... Must be the lack of 'Take off your pants and jacket', or too much! now where was I? Oh yea...... GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BILL WEASLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SAW HIM FIRST SO HE'S MINE!!!!!!! EVEN THOUGH J.K.ROWLING OWNS HIM AND ALL THE OTHER HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS HE'S MY MAN AND I'LL FIGHT FOR HIM ;-P
Hey Aquabolt, A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?" The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
*************
Marie sat at the Ravenclaw table the next morning slowly stirring her spoon in her pumpkin juice for no reason what so ever. She had never been a breakfast fan, but she was ready to kill for a medium double, double!!!!!!!! The Ravenclaw students noticed she was not in the greatest of moods, what with the whole zapped into a strange world with no cigarettes, so they did their best to try and avoid her without looking snobby. Maire reassured them she would be fine in an hour or so, "Ask Carly. I'm not a morning person." By this time Marie knew where all the most important places where. i.e: The Gryffindor Dormitory, the Ravenclaw Dormitory, the Great Hall, and the Bathrooms. Now all she had to do was wait for everyone to go to their classes and she could become: Secret Agent Marie Prinston as she liked to put it.
"Are you going to drink you juice or just swirrel it around all breakfast?"
Marie looked up. Lycander was standing across from her.
"What can I do Lycander?" Marie's voice went high and cheerful, a clear sign she liked the boy.
"Well seeing as you have nothing better to to I was wondering if you would like to join me in my classes. I've got the perfect excuses and everything...."
'This is perfect,' Marie thought as he went on babbling about what he would say to each of the teachers. 'He will eventually go to that defense class and I will be able to squeeze all the info I need out of this guy. Ohhhh I'm like one of Charley's Angles' Marie, busy thinking of being on of the three angels, went all gritty and started giggling to herself.
"I take that as a yes?" She blinked and went back to reality.
"What? Oh, sure I'ld love to Lycander" She gave a flirtatious smile as Lycander turned a lovely shade of red.
***************
First class was History of Magic, Marie said it would help with her history classes and her essays to have another perspective of prejudice against witches. All she had to tell him was that she thought it was so barbaric that people couldn't except others for who they where and he was sold.
Next was a double Charms class, she told Flitwick that she though it was the coolest subject on the list and that she wished she was a witch just to be able to learn them. Whoever said flattery gets you no where doesn't try hard.
Now, they where on their way to Double Potions class.
"Snape is the meanest teacher around, he hates everyone except Slytherin," Lycander explained to Marie. "But no one has it worse then Gryffindore so we don't have to worry that much."
As they entered the dungeon Snape gave Marie a cold glare. "What are you doing here, last I checked you where not a student at this school"
"Well Sir, I want to continue to learn and I think potions is a lot like my chemistry class. I've handled a lot of poisons, and I know the basic safety precautions in a lab area.... but I don't know much about herbal potions and poisons; I bet I could show my science teacher a thing or two if you let me learn all I can here." Marie put on an innocent blond face. Snape who had finished just finished with the 5th year Gryffindors and Slytherins was not in any mood to argue.
The Ravenclaw class was busy writing out the symptoms of poison from a Japanese puffer. "I wonder if our guest knows about japanese blowfish poisoning," Marie looked up and gave a little smile.
"FUGU, the japanese puffer fish, is an extremely expensive delicacy. The poison comes from the liver. If not prepared correctly the poison paralyzes the body. The warning signs is a numbing of the lips, where if this happens, the japanese say you have to drink a bottle of soya sauce until you 'Hakidasu', hopefully that gets rid of the poison."
"Impressive, did your science teacher tell you that?"
"No...... I saw it on the Simpsons once." Snape went back to his regular self *thought his regular self is no different from his other selves..... this guy is indescribably creepy! I swear he's like the scary man on the subway no one wants to sit beside.... AND DID YOU SEE HIM IN THE MOVIES?!?!?!?! good you'ld think a man who considers himself to be all high and mighty compared to others would know about clenslyness, take a bath for goodness sake* Marie quickly raised her hand. "May I please go to the bathroom Professor?"
"Fine go" Maire rushed out of the dungeons and headed for the main floor.
'Now it's time for spy girl' Marie thought to herself. 'According to Lycander, the DADA class is on the second floor..... I'll see what class is their. But first I really need to peeeeeee' Marie had a frantic face as she ran towards the bathroom.
**************
ten minutes later *we all know that girls take a long time in the bathroom; I'm not saying why though if their is any boys reading....... If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you* Marie was ready to find the DADA class. on her way the stairs she saw some 5th year kids arguing *gee I wonder who they can be*.
"I feel sorry for you Potter, It's bad enough you have to be seen with her," The blond boy glared at Hermiony, "But now you've got to baby-sit a muggle! If my father was to find out what Dumbledore is doing, he'ld have him out of Hogwarts so fast,"
"I haven't read the books but I do have to hear my sister talk about them all the time," Marie interrupted. She walked up to the boy, who she stood a good foot taller than, "If I recall correctly your father did try to get rid of Dumbledore. I fine job he did too, Why gone for a week or so! Tell him to give himself a pat on the back." Harry, Ron, and Hermiony laughed at Draco as he tried to push down Marie as he walked by, resulting in him being body checked into the wall. "You may be a fast seeker for your quittage team, but I was the Captain of our girls hockey team for three years. I got kicked off for getting into too many fights. Just a little warning pretty boy.... don't cross my path again."
"Why should I be scared of you?" Draco asked in his snobby, posh, my daddy pays people to wipe my ass for me attitude.
"Because, behind all your magic.... your just a pretty boy, and I'm taller stronger faster and meaner then you. Plus do you really want to now how it feels to get your own wand shoved up your ass?" With that, Draco left. Marie turned around to face Harry, Ron and Hermiony. "Is he like this all the time?"
"Yes, sometimes worse," Ron said. "Oh by the way, I wouldn't mind knowing what it's like to have Draco's wand shoved up his bottom."
"I can second that" Agreed Harry.
"Well I'ld love to give a demonstration, but I need to find some information on your DADA teacher....."
"You mean Mr. Tarcne?" Hermiony asked. "He's some french guy who sounds as if he hasn't hit puberty, everyone's going gaga over him, but I don't see why."
"That's because you've got Victor Krum all over you." Harry pointed out. "We just had his class. He doesn't know much about anything.... He's worse than Lockhart!!!!!!!!!"
"And there is something fishy about him" Ron added.
"Okay he's a lady killer, something fishy about him, hasn't hit puberty, doesn't know magic, and his full name is....."
"Rick Tarcne."
"Rick Tarcne? and he saws he's frence?"
"Yup! But he said he forgot it when an ogre used a memory charm on him." Harry said.
"Which is weird because last time I checked, Ogres didn't know any charms" Ron stated.
"Thanks, I think I've got all the info I need. So I guess I don't need to go to his class, I'll go back to potions with Lycander. See you at lunch!"
The four said goodbye and the three friends went to transfiguration, while mary went back to potions. But if only she went to see the DADA teacher. She would have immediately discovered who Rick Tarcne really was the most vial, deviant, down right evil man to ever walk the face of the earth. Far more evil then then the Brady Bunch!!!!!!!! Yes you know who I'm talking about......
It
was....................
To be continued *muahahahahahahahaha*
*****************
A short chapter but okay none the less. you have the info so lets have a little contest to see who knows who my DADA teacher is!
Women who live in a glass house should change in the basement.
Dedicated to a friend of mine who really really hates pop music.
Disclaimer: Let's get this done and over with, "I" own Carly, Marie, Lycander, the DADA (I'm not telling you who hahahahaha), and George...... George isn't in this story but he is here in spirit, lets all wish George good luck as he is off to fight intergalactic space invaders...... Opps I did it again...... Must be the lack of 'Take off your pants and jacket', or too much! now where was I? Oh yea...... GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BILL WEASLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SAW HIM FIRST SO HE'S MINE!!!!!!! EVEN THOUGH J.K.ROWLING OWNS HIM AND ALL THE OTHER HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS HE'S MY MAN AND I'LL FIGHT FOR HIM ;-P
Hey Aquabolt, A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?" The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
*************
Marie sat at the Ravenclaw table the next morning slowly stirring her spoon in her pumpkin juice for no reason what so ever. She had never been a breakfast fan, but she was ready to kill for a medium double, double!!!!!!!! The Ravenclaw students noticed she was not in the greatest of moods, what with the whole zapped into a strange world with no cigarettes, so they did their best to try and avoid her without looking snobby. Maire reassured them she would be fine in an hour or so, "Ask Carly. I'm not a morning person." By this time Marie knew where all the most important places where. i.e: The Gryffindor Dormitory, the Ravenclaw Dormitory, the Great Hall, and the Bathrooms. Now all she had to do was wait for everyone to go to their classes and she could become: Secret Agent Marie Prinston as she liked to put it.
"Are you going to drink you juice or just swirrel it around all breakfast?"
Marie looked up. Lycander was standing across from her.
"What can I do Lycander?" Marie's voice went high and cheerful, a clear sign she liked the boy.
"Well seeing as you have nothing better to to I was wondering if you would like to join me in my classes. I've got the perfect excuses and everything...."
'This is perfect,' Marie thought as he went on babbling about what he would say to each of the teachers. 'He will eventually go to that defense class and I will be able to squeeze all the info I need out of this guy. Ohhhh I'm like one of Charley's Angles' Marie, busy thinking of being on of the three angels, went all gritty and started giggling to herself.
"I take that as a yes?" She blinked and went back to reality.
"What? Oh, sure I'ld love to Lycander" She gave a flirtatious smile as Lycander turned a lovely shade of red.
***************
First class was History of Magic, Marie said it would help with her history classes and her essays to have another perspective of prejudice against witches. All she had to tell him was that she thought it was so barbaric that people couldn't except others for who they where and he was sold.
Next was a double Charms class, she told Flitwick that she though it was the coolest subject on the list and that she wished she was a witch just to be able to learn them. Whoever said flattery gets you no where doesn't try hard.
Now, they where on their way to Double Potions class.
"Snape is the meanest teacher around, he hates everyone except Slytherin," Lycander explained to Marie. "But no one has it worse then Gryffindore so we don't have to worry that much."
As they entered the dungeon Snape gave Marie a cold glare. "What are you doing here, last I checked you where not a student at this school"
"Well Sir, I want to continue to learn and I think potions is a lot like my chemistry class. I've handled a lot of poisons, and I know the basic safety precautions in a lab area.... but I don't know much about herbal potions and poisons; I bet I could show my science teacher a thing or two if you let me learn all I can here." Marie put on an innocent blond face. Snape who had finished just finished with the 5th year Gryffindors and Slytherins was not in any mood to argue.
The Ravenclaw class was busy writing out the symptoms of poison from a Japanese puffer. "I wonder if our guest knows about japanese blowfish poisoning," Marie looked up and gave a little smile.
"FUGU, the japanese puffer fish, is an extremely expensive delicacy. The poison comes from the liver. If not prepared correctly the poison paralyzes the body. The warning signs is a numbing of the lips, where if this happens, the japanese say you have to drink a bottle of soya sauce until you 'Hakidasu', hopefully that gets rid of the poison."
"Impressive, did your science teacher tell you that?"
"No...... I saw it on the Simpsons once." Snape went back to his regular self *thought his regular self is no different from his other selves..... this guy is indescribably creepy! I swear he's like the scary man on the subway no one wants to sit beside.... AND DID YOU SEE HIM IN THE MOVIES?!?!?!?! good you'ld think a man who considers himself to be all high and mighty compared to others would know about clenslyness, take a bath for goodness sake* Marie quickly raised her hand. "May I please go to the bathroom Professor?"
"Fine go" Maire rushed out of the dungeons and headed for the main floor.
'Now it's time for spy girl' Marie thought to herself. 'According to Lycander, the DADA class is on the second floor..... I'll see what class is their. But first I really need to peeeeeee' Marie had a frantic face as she ran towards the bathroom.
**************
ten minutes later *we all know that girls take a long time in the bathroom; I'm not saying why though if their is any boys reading....... If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you* Marie was ready to find the DADA class. on her way the stairs she saw some 5th year kids arguing *gee I wonder who they can be*.
"I feel sorry for you Potter, It's bad enough you have to be seen with her," The blond boy glared at Hermiony, "But now you've got to baby-sit a muggle! If my father was to find out what Dumbledore is doing, he'ld have him out of Hogwarts so fast,"
"I haven't read the books but I do have to hear my sister talk about them all the time," Marie interrupted. She walked up to the boy, who she stood a good foot taller than, "If I recall correctly your father did try to get rid of Dumbledore. I fine job he did too, Why gone for a week or so! Tell him to give himself a pat on the back." Harry, Ron, and Hermiony laughed at Draco as he tried to push down Marie as he walked by, resulting in him being body checked into the wall. "You may be a fast seeker for your quittage team, but I was the Captain of our girls hockey team for three years. I got kicked off for getting into too many fights. Just a little warning pretty boy.... don't cross my path again."
"Why should I be scared of you?" Draco asked in his snobby, posh, my daddy pays people to wipe my ass for me attitude.
"Because, behind all your magic.... your just a pretty boy, and I'm taller stronger faster and meaner then you. Plus do you really want to now how it feels to get your own wand shoved up your ass?" With that, Draco left. Marie turned around to face Harry, Ron and Hermiony. "Is he like this all the time?"
"Yes, sometimes worse," Ron said. "Oh by the way, I wouldn't mind knowing what it's like to have Draco's wand shoved up his bottom."
"I can second that" Agreed Harry.
"Well I'ld love to give a demonstration, but I need to find some information on your DADA teacher....."
"You mean Mr. Tarcne?" Hermiony asked. "He's some french guy who sounds as if he hasn't hit puberty, everyone's going gaga over him, but I don't see why."
"That's because you've got Victor Krum all over you." Harry pointed out. "We just had his class. He doesn't know much about anything.... He's worse than Lockhart!!!!!!!!!"
"And there is something fishy about him" Ron added.
"Okay he's a lady killer, something fishy about him, hasn't hit puberty, doesn't know magic, and his full name is....."
"Rick Tarcne."
"Rick Tarcne? and he saws he's frence?"
"Yup! But he said he forgot it when an ogre used a memory charm on him." Harry said.
"Which is weird because last time I checked, Ogres didn't know any charms" Ron stated.
"Thanks, I think I've got all the info I need. So I guess I don't need to go to his class, I'll go back to potions with Lycander. See you at lunch!"
The four said goodbye and the three friends went to transfiguration, while mary went back to potions. But if only she went to see the DADA teacher. She would have immediately discovered who Rick Tarcne really was the most vial, deviant, down right evil man to ever walk the face of the earth. Far more evil then then the Brady Bunch!!!!!!!! Yes you know who I'm talking about......
It
was....................
To be continued *muahahahahahahahaha*
*****************
A short chapter but okay none the less. you have the info so lets have a little contest to see who knows who my DADA teacher is!
Women who live in a glass house should change in the basement.