By K-chan
AN: Waha! I heard this song and just had to write this fic… it was bugging me. Anyway the song is "Numb" by Linkin Park and this is, I'm proud to say not a Bakura/Ryou fic! WAHAHA this is…dun dun dun… a RYOU/TEA! *cackle*
Read and enjoy ;)
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
He sighed, feeling his yami hit him again, the pain stinging his face as he flew to the floor of his soul room, landing in an undignified heap. The beatings never showed on the surface, physically on his body, but that didn't mean they didn't hurt. In fact, they often hurt worse than any beating he could receive on the outside. Mental pain was always far worse than physical pain, or at least that was how he saw it.
His yami was angry again, for what reason Ryou couldn't remember. Bakura was always angry. Pissed off because he didn't do exactly what it was Bakura wanted him to do, and it always ended in a beating. He was tired, tired of trying to be what he wasn't. He wished his father had never given him the blasted Ring, then he wouldn't have to deal with the abusive tomb robber.
Of course just as Ryou thought the words, Bakura's foot connected with his stomach causing the air to rush out of the young albino's lungs. Pain flooded Ryou's body and he knew he would be feeling the effects of this 'bonding' session for a long time.
"You know you are nothing with out me!" Bakura spat, eyeing his hikari with nothing but pure loathing. "If the old man had not given you the Ring then you would already be dead. You're stupidity and weakness would have already killed you."
Ryou coughed, blood spattering the white floor. "No…you're wrong," he gasped, flinching in pain. "I would have been happy…It's you that will kill me…not my weakness."
Bakura growled, and Ryou knew he should have just kept his mouth shut. The beating would be worse now.
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure
Of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Ryou flinched as he sat down in his desk, keeping his head ducked so that his friends couldn't see the pain in his eyes. His whole body was on fire. It felt like his left arm was broken, and that there cuts and bruises all over his abdomen, chest and face. His yami had nearly killed him the night before, and no one could see. Not a mark flawed his perfect, porcelain skin, his yami made sure of that.
He jumped as a hand landed on his shoulder. He had to bite back a groan when his bad arm was jarred. Looking up he was met with the worried blue eyes of Tea Gardener. Her delicate lips were pulled into a frown. Ryou had the sudden urge to fall into her arms and tell her everything. That he wasn't good enough, that he couldn't do anything right…that his yami abused him. He looked away again.
Don't even think about it slave. A warning voice hissed in his mind. Or the little woman you care so much about…will cease to exist. The threat was accompanied by an evil cackle.
Ryou's breath caught in his throat, knowing full well his deranged yami was serious. He couldn't let anything happen to Tea…she was the only reason he still lived. If it wasn't for the fact that his death would probably make her cry, Ryou would have ended his miserable existence long ago.
As if I'd let you.
He shuddered, why wouldn't the spirit ever leave him alone?? Nothing Ryou did was ever good enough, his yami was never pleased with him and he refused to be the killer Bakura wanted to be! Why couldn't he just go away and leave him in peace?! He didn't want to kill…to hurt…to steal…he cared too much about his fellow humans.
Weak, weak, weak… The spirits words echoed through his head like a mantra. Clutching at his head Ryou willed the echos away.
"Ryou? Ryou! Are you ok??"
Tea's soft voice brought him back to the present, back to his rapidly filling classroom. Taking a deep breath he slapped a smile on his face and looked up once more at the auburn haired girl. "I'm fine Tea, just a little tired." He answered quietly.
The girl eyed him dubiously, as if seeing his invisible injuries. "Ok…but…you'd tell me if something's wrong right?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Of course." Was his replied, his smile dying as he watched her turn and walk back to her desk beside Yugi. He wanted to tell her everything…
She would make a lovely concubine don't you think?
I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
Relief flooded him as he stepped into the shower, the Ring sitting on the bathroom counter a few feet away. This moment in the day was what he cherished the most –beyond being in the same room with the girl he dubbed his angel. The fifteen minutes of peace he felt while in the shower, the fifteen minutes with out his yami's constant presence, was something he was extremely grateful for.
However, he had been finding as of late, that as he slipped the golden Millennium item off his neck, his emotions numbed and his body grew tired. He wondered if it was the spirits doing, something to make him more depended on the ancient being. Even though he couldn't feel his yami in his mind he knew the spirit was watching, waiting, for the moment were Ryou screwed up in his eyes so he could beat him again. He enjoyed hurting the boy, why Ryou didn't know. But Ryou was starting to see things he had never seen before, things that before he got the Ring would have scared him to death. His yami was really the darkness he always claimed to be. And that darkness was taking him over slowly.
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
He was becoming shadow, he realized suddenly, jerking back from the spraying water. He was becoming his yami. A shudder racked his thin and broken body. When had it happened? When had the spirit gained so much control over him? He already knew the answer.
Right from the very beginning.
The thought was daunting. That he could be taken over, controlled so easily didn't sit well with him. Why had he never stood up to Bakura? Stopped the abuse before it ever started? They were one in the same and his other half wasn't any stronger than Ryou himself was. They were after all, just halves of a whole. Equals on both sides. Light and dark, evil and good. Surely good could over power evil? Couldn't it? The answer hit him like a ton of bricks.
It could.
He could defeat Bakura. Over power him, and stop living in fear. He could finally be happy.
He could love Tea.
His mind was made up as the final though drummed in his head. He would stand up to Bakura, not let him beat on him, pick on him and he would win! For the sake of his happiness, and for the sake of the girl he loved.
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly
Afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Bakura flew back, his back and head slamming into the side of his hikari's soul room wall. He grasped at his head, wincing. He had come to teach the stupid weakling a lesson for taking too long in the shower and was met with defiance. Something he never expected the boy to have.
Ryou's fists clenched and his nostrils flared. Stay strong, he thought gritting his teeth. Bakura had intimidated him for the last time! He ignored the injuries that plagued his spirit body. The spirit growled, stumbling away from the wall, his eyes pure fire as the rage consumed him. Ryou stood his ground however, not backing down an inch.
"That, was a stupid mistake slave." Bakura snarled, leaping at his other half.
Ryou dodged the attack, jumping out of the way at the last second so the other boy sailed head first into the wall. He wouldn't attack him…not unless he absolutely had to. He wanted to stand up to Bakura, to show him that he wasn't the weakling the he thought he was, but he didn't want to hurt the spirit. Not the way he had hurt him.
Bakura raised himself onto his hands and knees, wiping his now bleeding mouth with his sleeve. He hit the wall head first, rather hard and bite his own lip. Oh his hikari was going to pay, and pay dearly. "I think I'm going to kill you this time." He snarled, slowly rising to his feet and turning to face his hikari. "Yes, I'm going to kill you. And when that girl comes to your funeral I'll take her over and make her my bitch." His lips twisted in a feral grin, revenge glinting in his crimson eyes. He watched as the boy winced, closing his eyes briefly and taking a deep breath. But to the spirit's surprise he didn't back down.
"No more." Ryou said quietly, his bangs shading his eyes.
"What?" Bakura snapped, stepping forward.
"No more." Ryou repeated, his voice steely with resolve.
The spirit's eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. What was the moron talking about? "What do you mean 'no more'?" he demanded.
Ryou slowly raised his head, locking his chocolate eyes with his yami's crimson ones. Bakura's eyes widened at what he saw reflecting in the boy's eyes. Determination, resolve…strength. A sense of impending doom loomed over Bakura, his breath coming in short gasps. Who was this boy? …not Ryou.
"I won't let you anymore."
"Won't let me what?" Bakura questioned, clearly confused with the change in the young man.
Ryou took a deep breath and raised his chin stubbornly, his eyebrows furrowing over his eyes. "I won't let you hurt me or those I care about anymore!"
The spirit blinked for a moment before he burst out laughing. "As if you could stop me, puny mortal!" He scoffed, laughing some more.
"This is my body not yours!" Ryou cried, willing away the tears of frustration that welled behind his eyes. "I am not weak! And you can't tell me what to do! I won't let you! No more Bakura!"
"Heh." Bakura sneered, moving forward menacingly. "I see that yesterday's session wasn't enough for you. No fear, we'll just continue today."
"I don't want to fight you Bakura…" Ryou whispered, closing his eyes.
At the boy's words the spirit laughed again. "Oh, make no mistake, there will be no fight." Bakura lunged then, his hands aiming for Ryou's throat.
He didn't want to hurt his yami, but it appeared that there was no other way to get through the evil spirit's head that he wasn't going to be pushed around any more. So, using the advantage he had –Bakura clearly underestimated him- he pulled his good arm back and smashed his fist into Bakura's approaching face. Then, wasting no time he kneed him in the stomach roughly and pushed him to the ground.
"I told you I didn't want to fight you. But you wouldn't listen… why must you make everything so difficult?" Ryou whispered, tears running down his face as he watched his Yami writhe on the floor in pain, blood spattering out of his mouth and nose. "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't let you intimidate me. I want to be happy, I want you to be happy."
"Ho-how?" Bakura coughed, fingers flexing on the ground underneath him. He couldn't believe how well his little hikari fought. Where had he gotten the courage to stand up to him? He wasn't about to tell the boy, but he knew Ryou was right. Bakura couldn't do anything, couldn't control him, couldn't hurt him unless he let him. It was Ryou's body, and that made him stronger.
"You think I was beaten for so many years and learned nothing?"
Bakura's world came crashing down around him. He had finally pushed his hikari over the edge, but instead of breaking like he thought he would, he got stronger…stronger than even Bakura himself.
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
And every second I waste is more than I can take
Tea willed back the tears that threatened to wash over her face, making herself think of something else other than her disparaging problems, something like Ryou. She knew something was wrong with him in class that day. He winced when she put her hand on his shoulder, and had looked as if he was waging an inner battle. And she knew with who.
Bakura had been a menace to all of them through the years, in Duelest Kingdom and in Battle City, and Tea had suspicions that the evil spirit was harming Ryou more than Ryou himself let on. Her heart bled for him and wished fervently that he would let her near him, into his heart. She wanted so badly to help him, because she too knew what it felt like to be abused.
But I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
Her mother was an alcoholic and she had no father. Her mother beat her constantly for stupid little infraction that made no sense. She insulted her, called her a slut, even though she never even brought home a boyfriend, in reality Tea was afraid to, for fear they would meet her mother and run. Mrs. Gardener was always careful to only leave marks in places easily covered by clothing, so no one ever knew about Tea's problems at home. Not Joey, not Tristan, not even Yugi or Yami, though she had suspicions that Yami had an idea. He always seemed to know things he shouldn't.
Tea came to a stop outside a modest white apartment building, debating with herself whether she should go in or not. She wanted to, but she didn't know if he would appreciate her visit. Oh well, she thought; don't really know until you try. Grasping the door handle firmly, she entered the building, heading for the stairs.
She knocked on the door softly, a sudden bout of shyness freezing her. Her cheeks flushed red and she wondered what she was going to say when he answered…if he answered. How would she explain her sudden appearance?
However before she could come up with an idea, or turn tail and run the door jerked open and she came face to face with the young man she so desperately wanted to see.
"Uh…hi…" She whispered, blushing furiously.
Ryou blinked owlishly, stunned that the object of his thoughts had suddenly been conjured up on his doorstep. "Tea?" He whispered, as if not really believing she was standing there.
He won the battle with his yami, how, he didn't quite know. But after he had told him that he had learned from the endless beatings, the spirit had grown quiet and with drawn. Sullenly the yami had stood, his legs shaking, but when Ryou tried to help him, he pushed him away angrily and stormed to his own soul room, slamming the door. Ryou hadn't heard from him since.
"I-I was worried about you…you know, after what happened in class today. Something is bothering you isn't it? Bakura…am I right?" Tea stammered, wringing her hands nervously and staring at the floor.
"Not any more." He replied, a proud smile crossing his face. Finally he could do what he had longed to do for two long years, throw his arms around her and hold her, and he did just that.
Tea gasped as she was suddenly pulled into Ryou's tight embrace, her cheek brushing his chest, which she now realized was bare. She felt one of his hands settle on the small of her back, while the other buried itself in her hair. She was so surprised that she almost missed his quiet whisper of "Not any more."
"Ryou…?"
Ryou smiled, a real smile and sniffled a bit, pulling away from the auburn haired girl. He looked down into her questioning eyes and felt his heart melt. Courage welled up in him as he decided that it was now or never. Brushing a hand over the side of her face he whispered, "Thank you Tea."
Tea frowned in confusion. "For what?"
"Strength." He replied softly before placing his mouth over hers, in a bold act that was so unlike Ryou. Pulling away a few centimeters and opening his eyes to meet glassy blue ones he whispered gently, "Thank you for giving me the strength to finally be happy."
"I-" She started, but he cut her off, kissing her softly once more.
He knew, like Yami knew that Tea's life wasn't as happy as she made it seem. It was something they had in common and he swore on his new life that he would give her the strength to walk away as well. So that she could also say, not any more.