Disclaimer: Nothing's mine
Author's Note: Some child abuse (hitting) and a curse word or two
Third year Charms with Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. Severus Snape resisted the urge to sigh loudly and looked over at the sea of students practicing the charm of the day.
All of the Ravenclaw had accomplished the task though a female Gryffindor was still struggling with the pronunciation of the words. One of the Ravenclaw finally took pity on her and went over to help.
Snape glanced at his watch and was relieved to see that he only had fifteen minutes left. Then he would be free to return to his rooms and hide out until dinner. Maybe even longer if he didn't feel like going up and the Headmaster didn't come down and fetch him, as he had a habit to do.
It seemed to be happening more often lately, actually. Skipping dinner, that is. Thinking about Voldermort, Death Eaters, spying, or his eventual death when he was discovered kinda took away his appetite.
The sound of falling books and angry shouts startled Snape out of his daze like state. He stood up and groaned. He did not need this right now.
Two boys, one from each house were rolling on the ground, fists flying. Though Ravenclaw usually preferred to stay out of fights, this particular child was of Slytherin background; both his parents and his older sister.
"Take it back!" Kyle, the Ravenclaw hollered at Steven, the Gryffindor, as Snape tried to move through the group of cheering classmates. Kyle pushed Steven away and grabbed his wand off his desk. He drew his hand back .
"Influentia!" he yelled in fury, throwing one of the many nastier hexes he had read about in his sister's textbooks.
Again came the odd probabilities. The hex determined for Steven missed as Snape pulled him away from the center of the ring created by the spectating students. It missed Steven and hit Snape square in the back instead. The cheering died instantly.
Kyle paled and nearly dropped his wand. He had just cursed the most feared teacher in the whole school! He was going to be expelled for sure, he just knew it. Snape had that reputation.
The headache started first, quickly followed by nausea and dizziness. Snape closed his eyes and reached out for a chair. He lowered himself into it and swallowed hard as his stomach revolted against him.
"Hobson," he hissed, making the Kyle jump, "Please fetch Professor Lupin and ask him to come here at once."
He opened one eye and looked at the rest of the class who were watching him like one watches an angry predator, no sudden moves.
"Three rolls of parchment on the hex Mr. Hobson cast and what its symptoms are. Include which charms and potions can be used to counteract it. Due tomorrow with your potions homework, and it will count. Class is dismissed early."
The students ran to gather their belongings and hurried out of the room. Snape leaned forward in the chair and hoped Kyle would fetch the teacher quickly.
He didn't like having to chose Lupin, who was back teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts again, but he needed to be de-hexed and of the nearest teachers Lupin seemed the best choice.
He really wasn't in the mood for another one of McGonagal's lectures and then having the hexing incident retold for all the other staff. Lupin would be a bit more discreet.
The classroom door opened again and Lupin hurried in, a concerned looking Kyle tagging along behind him. Lupin took in the pale, sick look on the Potion Master's face and waved Kyle out of the room.
"You can go, now. I'll just get rid of the hex and he'll be fine." Kyle nodded and scampered out the door so fast he could have dissipated, if it weren't impossible on Hogwarts grounds.
"Head up Severus," Lupin said cheerfully as he took out his wand. Snape growled but did as he was told.
"Finitum Terminus!" Snape instantly felt better as the curse lifted and sat up straight to see Lupin staring at him.
"What?" Snape demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
Lupin shrugged, not bothered by the sharp tone.
"It looked like your hair changed color for a second." Then he bid Snape farewell and made his exit.
Snape sat still in surprise for a second before rising to his feet and gathering his teaching materials. He locked the door firmly behind him and hurried down to the dungeons and to his rooms.
All the way down what Lupin had said stayed with him. Why would his hair seem to change color? He unlocked and pushed his door open and dropped the things in his arms unceremoniously into a heap on his table. He had to know.
Snape moved across the room and took a seat at his desk, sweeping un-graded papers out of his way. He brought out his wand and conjured a large, floating, oval mirror.
It was a regular mirror with no magical properties at all, he didn't care much for the others that talked back or occasionally insulted him.
If a regular stop-curse only changed his hair color in an amount of time that someone with abnormal eyesight could see, such as a werewolf, then to lift whatever spell was cast, the stop-curse charm must have to be cast harder.
Snape leaned forward and adjusted the angle of the mirror so that she spell would reflect back to him. He took a deep breath and pulled his chair closer. This was going to hurt.
"FINITUM TERMINUS!" He threw the charm fiercely and it came hurtling back into his face like a ton of bricks. Snape let his cheek rest on the desktop for a minute as the sting faded. Then he slowly raised his head to look in the mirror.
How long Snape sat there looking at his reflection, he didn't know. All he knew was a one point he heard a soft knock at his door. Slowly, still in a daze, he sat up and turned his face toward the door as Dumbledore finally decided to let himself in.
"Severus," Dumbledore called, closing the door behind him, "Where were you at-" his words suddenly were choked off as he saw his teacher sitting silently at the desk.
Snape thought briefly on how odd the scene was. Dumbledore had come down to ask him why he missed dinner, again, and found him sporting dark auburn hair, clear blue eyes, and starring at his reflection.
"Severus?" Dumbledore asked as he hurried over. He knelt down in front of the teacher and slowly reached out a hand as if to touch Snape's cheek but pulled back self-consciously.
"All I did was cast a finitum terminus, albeit rather hard" Snape murmured, blue eyes still wide in disbelief. Dumbledore stood and nodded sadly.
"I know." Snape shook his head, confused. Why did the charm have this reaction?
"What happened to me?" With a sigh, Dumbledore pulled another chair over and took a seat. Snape looked at him, trying to anchor himself to reality.
"Tell me Severus, as far back as you can remember, what is your first memory?" Snape blinked, surprised. He hadn't expected that. Then he moved back slightly away from the Headmaster and the question. His far past wasn't something he liked remembering. In fact, it was something he constantly tried to forget.
"Please Severus," Dumbledore asked gently, seeing the bitterness grace his companion's face.
"It's important." Snape sighed and closed his eyes. Well, this had certainly evaporated his muddled state. What was his oldest memory?
"I remember my first day at the orphanage in Knockturn Alley when I was four," he finally announced flatly before looking at the floor.
"I have no memories before that. The Overseer of orphanage believed that my life before was so terrible that I locked it away in my sub- conciseness." Dumbledore laughed harshly causing Snape to look up quickly.
"Nothing could be further from the truth, Severus," he said giving his head a sad little shake.
"Severus," he said taking a deep breath and looking up, blue meeting identical blue, "You're mine." Snape froze, his mind racing to make sense of what he thought he had just heard. He could only think of one way that could be taken but surely he couldn't have meant-
"Severus?" Dumbledore asked again, reaching out to touch. This time it was Snape who jerked away leaving Dumbledore's eyes to fill with worry and hurt. Snape ignored the expression, rage blocking his compassion.
"Do you mean to tell me," Snape hissed, rising to his feet in anger, "That for my whole life I have thought I abandoned at four years old and the whole time you, you-" Dumbledore stood too and nodded.
"You are my child, Severus." Snape was shaking now. He was not hearing this, he would not listen to this.
"Get out," he growled, his eyes filling with tears. Oh gods, why was he telling him this? What good could it possibly do now? "Get out and leave me alone."
"Please Severus," Dumbledore said, taking a small step forward.
"Let me explain." Snape shook his head wildly, auburn hair flying from side to side. He couldn't deal with this. He spent his whole childhood lonely and unwanted and he thought he could explain it?
"I don't want to hear it!" he shouted, placing his hand over his ears in defiance. Nothing he could say could possible make things right.
"I love you, damnit!" Dumbledore was shouting too now, "And I am not going to loose you again because you are to stubborn to hear me out!"
Snape slowly removed his hands form his ears and glared up at the older wizard. He had half a mind to remain firm on his decision not to listen but something stopped him. Did he say he loved him? Grudgingly he admitted it was worth finding out what the Headmaster had to say.
"Then start." Snape folded his arms across his chest in a motion the clearly said, 'impress me.'
Dumbledore sighed, this was not how he had ever envisioned this moment.
"I can not explain everything. You need your memory back to understand why I did what did." Yes, that would be the best way to go about it. Slowly he took out his wand.
"I give you back what you lost." He whispered the spell over Snape's head and slowly the memory spell began to unwind, releasing the memories kept hidden for so long.
Snape felt overwhelmed as everything rushed at him in a whirl of blending colors and information. Names, places, small child joys, a mother's leaving and growing closer to his father, love.
Memories appeared from their hidden place, supplying information he had never been aware of. Then slowly, the flow of memories calmed and settled on the one that would give him the answers he needed.
Author's Note: Some child abuse (hitting) and a curse word or two
Third year Charms with Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. Severus Snape resisted the urge to sigh loudly and looked over at the sea of students practicing the charm of the day.
All of the Ravenclaw had accomplished the task though a female Gryffindor was still struggling with the pronunciation of the words. One of the Ravenclaw finally took pity on her and went over to help.
Snape glanced at his watch and was relieved to see that he only had fifteen minutes left. Then he would be free to return to his rooms and hide out until dinner. Maybe even longer if he didn't feel like going up and the Headmaster didn't come down and fetch him, as he had a habit to do.
It seemed to be happening more often lately, actually. Skipping dinner, that is. Thinking about Voldermort, Death Eaters, spying, or his eventual death when he was discovered kinda took away his appetite.
The sound of falling books and angry shouts startled Snape out of his daze like state. He stood up and groaned. He did not need this right now.
Two boys, one from each house were rolling on the ground, fists flying. Though Ravenclaw usually preferred to stay out of fights, this particular child was of Slytherin background; both his parents and his older sister.
"Take it back!" Kyle, the Ravenclaw hollered at Steven, the Gryffindor, as Snape tried to move through the group of cheering classmates. Kyle pushed Steven away and grabbed his wand off his desk. He drew his hand back .
"Influentia!" he yelled in fury, throwing one of the many nastier hexes he had read about in his sister's textbooks.
Again came the odd probabilities. The hex determined for Steven missed as Snape pulled him away from the center of the ring created by the spectating students. It missed Steven and hit Snape square in the back instead. The cheering died instantly.
Kyle paled and nearly dropped his wand. He had just cursed the most feared teacher in the whole school! He was going to be expelled for sure, he just knew it. Snape had that reputation.
The headache started first, quickly followed by nausea and dizziness. Snape closed his eyes and reached out for a chair. He lowered himself into it and swallowed hard as his stomach revolted against him.
"Hobson," he hissed, making the Kyle jump, "Please fetch Professor Lupin and ask him to come here at once."
He opened one eye and looked at the rest of the class who were watching him like one watches an angry predator, no sudden moves.
"Three rolls of parchment on the hex Mr. Hobson cast and what its symptoms are. Include which charms and potions can be used to counteract it. Due tomorrow with your potions homework, and it will count. Class is dismissed early."
The students ran to gather their belongings and hurried out of the room. Snape leaned forward in the chair and hoped Kyle would fetch the teacher quickly.
He didn't like having to chose Lupin, who was back teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts again, but he needed to be de-hexed and of the nearest teachers Lupin seemed the best choice.
He really wasn't in the mood for another one of McGonagal's lectures and then having the hexing incident retold for all the other staff. Lupin would be a bit more discreet.
The classroom door opened again and Lupin hurried in, a concerned looking Kyle tagging along behind him. Lupin took in the pale, sick look on the Potion Master's face and waved Kyle out of the room.
"You can go, now. I'll just get rid of the hex and he'll be fine." Kyle nodded and scampered out the door so fast he could have dissipated, if it weren't impossible on Hogwarts grounds.
"Head up Severus," Lupin said cheerfully as he took out his wand. Snape growled but did as he was told.
"Finitum Terminus!" Snape instantly felt better as the curse lifted and sat up straight to see Lupin staring at him.
"What?" Snape demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
Lupin shrugged, not bothered by the sharp tone.
"It looked like your hair changed color for a second." Then he bid Snape farewell and made his exit.
Snape sat still in surprise for a second before rising to his feet and gathering his teaching materials. He locked the door firmly behind him and hurried down to the dungeons and to his rooms.
All the way down what Lupin had said stayed with him. Why would his hair seem to change color? He unlocked and pushed his door open and dropped the things in his arms unceremoniously into a heap on his table. He had to know.
Snape moved across the room and took a seat at his desk, sweeping un-graded papers out of his way. He brought out his wand and conjured a large, floating, oval mirror.
It was a regular mirror with no magical properties at all, he didn't care much for the others that talked back or occasionally insulted him.
If a regular stop-curse only changed his hair color in an amount of time that someone with abnormal eyesight could see, such as a werewolf, then to lift whatever spell was cast, the stop-curse charm must have to be cast harder.
Snape leaned forward and adjusted the angle of the mirror so that she spell would reflect back to him. He took a deep breath and pulled his chair closer. This was going to hurt.
"FINITUM TERMINUS!" He threw the charm fiercely and it came hurtling back into his face like a ton of bricks. Snape let his cheek rest on the desktop for a minute as the sting faded. Then he slowly raised his head to look in the mirror.
How long Snape sat there looking at his reflection, he didn't know. All he knew was a one point he heard a soft knock at his door. Slowly, still in a daze, he sat up and turned his face toward the door as Dumbledore finally decided to let himself in.
"Severus," Dumbledore called, closing the door behind him, "Where were you at-" his words suddenly were choked off as he saw his teacher sitting silently at the desk.
Snape thought briefly on how odd the scene was. Dumbledore had come down to ask him why he missed dinner, again, and found him sporting dark auburn hair, clear blue eyes, and starring at his reflection.
"Severus?" Dumbledore asked as he hurried over. He knelt down in front of the teacher and slowly reached out a hand as if to touch Snape's cheek but pulled back self-consciously.
"All I did was cast a finitum terminus, albeit rather hard" Snape murmured, blue eyes still wide in disbelief. Dumbledore stood and nodded sadly.
"I know." Snape shook his head, confused. Why did the charm have this reaction?
"What happened to me?" With a sigh, Dumbledore pulled another chair over and took a seat. Snape looked at him, trying to anchor himself to reality.
"Tell me Severus, as far back as you can remember, what is your first memory?" Snape blinked, surprised. He hadn't expected that. Then he moved back slightly away from the Headmaster and the question. His far past wasn't something he liked remembering. In fact, it was something he constantly tried to forget.
"Please Severus," Dumbledore asked gently, seeing the bitterness grace his companion's face.
"It's important." Snape sighed and closed his eyes. Well, this had certainly evaporated his muddled state. What was his oldest memory?
"I remember my first day at the orphanage in Knockturn Alley when I was four," he finally announced flatly before looking at the floor.
"I have no memories before that. The Overseer of orphanage believed that my life before was so terrible that I locked it away in my sub- conciseness." Dumbledore laughed harshly causing Snape to look up quickly.
"Nothing could be further from the truth, Severus," he said giving his head a sad little shake.
"Severus," he said taking a deep breath and looking up, blue meeting identical blue, "You're mine." Snape froze, his mind racing to make sense of what he thought he had just heard. He could only think of one way that could be taken but surely he couldn't have meant-
"Severus?" Dumbledore asked again, reaching out to touch. This time it was Snape who jerked away leaving Dumbledore's eyes to fill with worry and hurt. Snape ignored the expression, rage blocking his compassion.
"Do you mean to tell me," Snape hissed, rising to his feet in anger, "That for my whole life I have thought I abandoned at four years old and the whole time you, you-" Dumbledore stood too and nodded.
"You are my child, Severus." Snape was shaking now. He was not hearing this, he would not listen to this.
"Get out," he growled, his eyes filling with tears. Oh gods, why was he telling him this? What good could it possibly do now? "Get out and leave me alone."
"Please Severus," Dumbledore said, taking a small step forward.
"Let me explain." Snape shook his head wildly, auburn hair flying from side to side. He couldn't deal with this. He spent his whole childhood lonely and unwanted and he thought he could explain it?
"I don't want to hear it!" he shouted, placing his hand over his ears in defiance. Nothing he could say could possible make things right.
"I love you, damnit!" Dumbledore was shouting too now, "And I am not going to loose you again because you are to stubborn to hear me out!"
Snape slowly removed his hands form his ears and glared up at the older wizard. He had half a mind to remain firm on his decision not to listen but something stopped him. Did he say he loved him? Grudgingly he admitted it was worth finding out what the Headmaster had to say.
"Then start." Snape folded his arms across his chest in a motion the clearly said, 'impress me.'
Dumbledore sighed, this was not how he had ever envisioned this moment.
"I can not explain everything. You need your memory back to understand why I did what did." Yes, that would be the best way to go about it. Slowly he took out his wand.
"I give you back what you lost." He whispered the spell over Snape's head and slowly the memory spell began to unwind, releasing the memories kept hidden for so long.
Snape felt overwhelmed as everything rushed at him in a whirl of blending colors and information. Names, places, small child joys, a mother's leaving and growing closer to his father, love.
Memories appeared from their hidden place, supplying information he had never been aware of. Then slowly, the flow of memories calmed and settled on the one that would give him the answers he needed.