~By Pixie~
So there I was, mouth half full of toothpaste, my toothbrush wedged between teeth and my cheek, sleep still in my eyes when James barged into the girls bathroom.
"James!" I exclaimed. Well, tried to exclaim. The toothpaste stopped any coherent sounds coming out of my mouth and I'm pretty sure the toothbrush didn't do much for it either. I spat hastily and dried my mouth with a towel.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Not much," he said, rapping the bench top lightly with his finger tips.
"Not much? James it's like six in the morning, I'm just about to go to study group with Arabella and you come into the girls bathroom just because you feel like it?" I raised an eyebrow. Sometimes he can be so stupid.
"Fine, there is actually a point to this," He lent on the bench casually.
"Good, well, out with it then," I said packing my stuff in my bag.
"I …I," James stuttered not looking directly at me "I met someone last night."
"Oh really," I muttered offhandedly "who was it? Filch? Did you get a detention or something?"
"No,"
"That's good then,"
"No, I mean no," He pulled at his hair, "Lily, I mean I met someone last night."
"Huh?" I said, cocking my head to the side and regarded him skeptically.
"Good God Lily, you've been talking to Peter too much. You're starting to adopt his obliviousness," James said "I met a girl."
"That's nice. Who?" I asked him, knowing that at least the answer would be interesting. After all he did know a fair few of the girls in our year level, and also knew them as well, if you catch my drift.
"Narcissa Renault, and don't say it-I know what you think of her," He replied very quickly.
"Oh God James, why could you have "met" someone less…, less, I don't know, tarty?" I exclaimed "There's heaps of normal girls in Hogwarts."
James folded his arms over his chest and adopted his stern "I am going to pretend I don't care what you think" face like he does when he's really annoyed at me.
"I don't care Lily," he told me defensively "I'm in love."
I snorted. This was all too much. First that he was off snogging Narcissa somewhere and now that he's in love? As if. With her? I don't think so!
"Umm James? Are you sure," I said, once I'd regained some composure.
"I'm dead sure," he said and his eyes held a dreamy gaze. Suddenly something inside of me cracked. Instantly I felt like breaking down crying, curling up in bed and devouring a whole block of chocolate in one go for absolutely no reason. What was with this anyway? It was good that James' found someone. God knows we'd all heard enough of his "I'm searching for the right girl" spiel for a life time.
"Ah uh, that's great mate," I picked up my towel "but I've got to go to study group. Talk to you later alright?" I dashed out of the bathroom, dumped my stuff on my bed and grabbed my bag and scarf without waiting for his reply.
~*~
"But oh my god James, it's so true!" Narcissa exclaimed flirting at maximum capacity, twirling a long strand of blonde hair around her perfectly manicured finger. James gazed at her, absolutely captivated as he took another bite of his ham sandwich.
"Nah…it's not. I'm not the greatest Chaser Hogwarts has ever seen…perhaps recently, but not ever," he flirted back after swallowing. I coughed loudly, making Narcissa drag her eyes away from James just long enough to regard me with a stern "get the hell over it?" look. I raised an eyebrow back at her and she turned away.
They went back to just gazing into each other's eyes lovingly. In all the years I've known James Potter I've never once known him to flirt this badly with a girl. Wrinkling my nose at them, I placed my own sandwich back on it's place. This was simply nauseating.
"What's up Lily, not eating?" Remus asked me politely. I looked over at him. Heaps of girls were after him, not exactly the absolutely most beautiful ones, but the girls who actually cared about people and stuff. Sure, he's pretty hot, I thought, regarding his lovely amber hued eyes. But he's just a friend.
I shrugged "Not hungry anymore…I'll just have to pig out at dinner." I replied and looked over at Sirius who was currently trying his best to flirt with Arabella who was blatantly trying to deter him. Sirius was…Sirius. Good looking, dashing, caring, yet 'out there'…everything a girl could want within the walls of Hogwarts. But not the sort of guy for me. Suddenly I started staring at my plate, eyes wide as I realized I'd just been checking out my best friends to see if I'd go out with them or not.
What brought this on? I bit my lip. This was so, so stupid. I mean, just because James has a girlfriend doesn't mean I have to get a boyfriend. Suddenly my stomach dropped for the second time that day, realization setting in. I had to get out of there. Like a startled deer I got up from my chair and dashed out of the Great Hall leaving the love birds alone.
"Lily!" Sirius yelled after me and I tore off down the corridor. "Stop would you!"
I kept running. I just wanted to be out of the castle, out where I could breathe for a bit. But when I came to the steps leading to the courtyard I could bring myself to walk down them. Sirius finally caught up, panting hard.
"You've sure got a good sprint in you, any one ever told you that?" He said between gasps. I was silent.
"Alright, we're going for a walk…" Sirius said after he'd regained his breath.
~*~
"What is it Lily?" Sirius asked quietly as we rounded a corner. I sighed, and shaded my eyes with my hand as I looked out the window.
"Nothing, it's nothing." I replied. Since when did Sirius turn into Dr Black, Psychologist for all of Hogwarts? I couldn't recall ever having a heart to heart/ interrogation with him ever before…
"Come off it, there's something bothering you-I can tell I'm not as daft as I look," He said, almost offended that I wouldn't tell him. This was more like the Sirius I knew.
"Well it's mainly to do with Narcissa and James," I said slowly, feeling as though each word was being dragged out of my mouth by a tow-truck.
"And? What about them?"
I groaned. No matter how perceptive and sensitive Sirius could be at times, it still just wasn't his thing to work out stuff without being told.
"I don't want them to go out," I replied snippily.
"Yeah, neither do I really," He said offhandedly "She's such a …a…, I don't know what it is exactly, but it's certainly not good."
I nodded "Exactly. But there's another reason other than that for why I don't want them to be together,"
"And that would be?" Sirius turned to face me, his brown hair flopping into his eyes obscuring them from my sight.
"I…oh God…I don't know,"
"Yes you do,"
"No I don't!" I insisted. This was so stupid, I was starting to get all girly and my voice was adopting a slight shrill tone.
"Yeah you do Lily, just say it would you?"
"Fine! I like him!" I exclaimed, and instantly checked around to see if there was anyone nearby that could have over heard. Why did I have to wait until the wrong moment to realize what I felt? It was like the world was against me and Narcissa just got crowned Queen of it.
"Umm…ok then," Sirius said, a little less perturbed by my outburst than I had expected "I like him too, after all you do tend to like your friends."
"No…," I started but then changed my mind. Hurling obscenities at Sirius about how oblivious he could be wouldn't exactly help the situation much. "No, I like him. I really don't think it's the same thing as you feel for him, unless…unless you swing that way, and that would be totally different. It'd be alright with me, but…"
Sirius cracked up laughing at me digging myself into a huge hole. "Don't worry Lily, it's fine. But I understand now. Why haven't you said anything before?"
"I couldn't," I replied insistently "he's like one of my best friends. Wouldn't you be freaked out if I suddenly came up to you when you'd just started going out with some girl and told you that I liked you?"
"Uh, well you've got a point there," he conceded "but you never know. He might just be going out with Narcissa because he's afraid or something to ask you out."
I snorted "Oh and so that was why he went out with Amy, and Melinda, and oh hell-Jacqueline and Amanda too then?"
"Well, no, he did like them, but…" Sirius trailed off and I knew I should stop screwing with his mind about this.
"Alright, so that was in the past and everything. I get it. There's always a chance, you're the eternal optimist, but that doesn't change anything, I'm still in the same situation," I said cynically.
"Yeah that's true, but you could…you could like change some of the stuff about you to make him notice you,"
"Sirius, darl, if he hasn't noticed me now, after we've known each other for six years-I doubt he ever will?" I raised an eyebrow "And who's to say I want to change?"
"Well you know acting like a girl might help," he said gruffly.
"Acting like a"- I exclaimed "oh I can see where this is heading. You think I'm not feminine enough don't you."
"No that's not it, it's"-
"Well excuse me Mr. I-Think-Girls-Should-All-Conform-To-Be-The-Same, but I'm not like that," I barged on "sure I play sport and I occasionally use my sleeve as a hanky but that's not because I'm not "girly" it's usually because I've forgotten a tissue actually."
"Oh get over it would you Lily?" Sirius said angrily "I'm only trying to help here. All I was trying to say was that making a very loud joke about sex in the Great Hall like you did the other day probably isn't exactly …charming…behavior."
"Sorry," I said quietly, looking down at my shoes. "But it was funny." I looked up again at him and grinned.
Sirius laughed, obviously recalling it. "Sure was, I wish I'd came out with that…"
"But what am I meant to do?" I persisted.
"…Tell him you like him," Sirius suggested, shrugging.
"Tell him I what? Hell no! No, absolutely no," I said adamantly "No what in hell will I do that,"
"So you want to keep feeling bad and him to keep going out with Narcissa then?" Sirius said pointedly
"Not really," I conceded "I know, I'll…just get over it."
"You won't, you never do Lily. You just worry and fret over things but never do anything about them,"
See, this is the problem with having friends that know you. They have this annoying habit about being right about things you'd rather them not be.
"Fine, alright, I'll tell him," I said slowly "don't know when though."
"It doesn't matter exactly when, just make it…soon." Sirius advised. I sighed again, knowing this wouldn't be easy and yet had to be done. After all, if I couldn't tell my friend I liked him, who could I tell?
"Lily!"
I spun around to see Arabella striding towards us.
"I've been looking everywhere for you, we've got to go to the library before dinner,"
I groaned "You and that damned Herbology assignment!" I exclaimed. Honestly, school is the most retarded thing. It cuts into everything, fretting about guys, quidditch practice, worrying that James was probably off snogging Narcissa in a empty room as I stood there…
"Well it's got to be done Lily!" Arabella said defensively.
"Don't worry about her Bella-she's just a bit…distracted at the moment," Sirius advised her.
Arabella narrowed her eyes and glared up at him.
"Don't, ever, call me Bella." She said icily.
"Why not?"
I snorted quietly to myself. Sirius was playing with fire near a stick of dynamite. If I hadn't annoyed Arabella enough by whining about the assignment, he was doing a pretty good job of sending her all the way by calling her that.
"I don't, like it," Arabella said "My name is Arabella. Call me that, or nothing at all."
"How bout if I call you…if I call you…," Sirius thought for a bit "if I call you Cat Woman?"
Arabella shook her head in disgust. "As if you would Sirius! Come on Lily, we've got to go," and with that she grabbed me by the arm and proceeded to try and drag me in the direction of the library.
"Thanks Sirius!" I called out to him, before I got pulled around the corner and into the library.
"No problem," I could just hear him say.
##%##%##%##%##%##%
Author's Note: I'd just like to formally apologise for stating that this chapter would be out ages ago, when in fact it wasn't. This was mostly due to school, which unfortunately has to take priority over fan fic writing. L
The next chapter should be out within a week, school work permitting (only another 3 weeks of this before holidays! Yay.) so look out for it then.
If you'd care to review, I'd really appriciate it, and my deepest thanks goes out to all those people who reviewed my first chapter-you all really made my day.
Disclaimer: As stated in the first chapter…