Josh fumbled in his bag for Sam's spare key. While he had been driving he had begun to realise that not answering the phone was not like Sam. Even if he had been avoiding Toby he would have returned the call eventually and it had been a few hours since Ginger had first tried to contact him. Josh's stomach was a pit of fear and had been since the silence in which Sam had failed to answer his pager. He reached the door of Sam's apartment and decided not to knock. "I'm letting myself in, Sam," he called as he turned the key in the lock.
As he opened the door the first sight that greeted him was of Sam's head. As he opened it wider the scene extended to show Sam's whole body curled up on the floor. Josh stood in shock taking in the lifeless form and the pool of blood. The sound of the bathroom window banging against the frame jolted him into action and he reached a shaking hand into his pocket for his phone. He seemed to make it from the door to Sam's side in one move. He stammered his responses to the operator and found it hard to remember the number of Sam's apartment. Josh dropped the phone, shook Sam and then tried to roll him onto his back. Sam's eyes had continued to stare at the answer phone's flashing light but they now opened wide in panic as he started to fight Josh's hands. The operator had told Josh to place the flat of his palm over the wound but he was unable to do anything while Sam was using his last reserves of strength to constantly push Josh's hands away from him.
"Sam…Sam!" Josh shouted his name and was still unable to break through the fog of fear and panic wrapped around his friend.
He placed his hands on Sam's face and pulled his head from the floor. "Look at me…Sam, look at me…it's Josh…it's ok."
Sam eyes finally seemed to focus and though still filled with fear they found Josh's concerned face looming above. "It's okay," Josh repeated as he reached over to the sofa for a pillow and gently laid Sam's head onto it.
"Josh…Josh…I…didn't-" Josh told Sam to shush. With each breath Sam took, Josh could hear a hissing sound and realised with horror that it was coming from his chest. He pulled his hand from Sam's tight grasp and placed it over the wound. The hissing noise stopped. With his free hand he reached for his phone again.
Toby was reaching for a cup when the phone rang. He cursed as the sudden movement he made knocked it over and the contents spilt over his desk. "Josh?"
"Toby…he's…it's…" Toby could hear Josh breathing hard.
"For God's sake, Josh, what's wrong?" Toby's stern voice had much the same effect as the window banging had and Josh found himself able to make sense of what he was trying to say.
"Sam has been hurt…stabbed…I think he's been stabbed. I've called an ambulance ...he's bleeding…we should have come-" Toby's voice cut him off. This time it was firm but reassuring.
"Is he conscious?"
"Yeah, he tried to speak but now…" Josh's voice trailed off
"Have you stopped the bleeding?"
"Yeah, the operator told me to put my hand on it…there was this noise but it's stopped now. I think the ambulance…shit…"
"Josh?"
"Oh shit, Toby."
"Josh, what's going on?"
Josh dropped the phone and tried to find a way to stop Sam from choking on the frothy blood that he was now coughing up. He pulled Sam over until the side of his face was on the floor. Sam continued to cough and splutter and as Josh wiped the blood away he noticed the blueness of Sam's lips. When the choking noises stopped the shallow rasp and hiss of Sam's breathing returned. Josh could hear him mumbling something but wasn't able to make out the words. He heard his own name though and told Sam again and again that he was there and everything was alright. He placed his palm over the wound, tucked the phone under his chin and this time used his free hand to grab Sam's hand which again held on with surprising strength.
"Toby I'm here." He heard the sound of people running along the hallway. "They're here, Toby. I'll call from the hospital." He snapped his phone shut and called out, "In here…we're here."
The paramedics gently removed Sam's hand from his then firmly removed Josh from Sam's side. He answered their questions about previous medical conditions and current medication and he listened to their secret language, some of the words fluttered by him others seemed to stay in the air and hover; blood pressure…chest tube…pneumothorax…cyanosis. Josh walked around to the other side of Sam so that he could see that he was still there but Sam had already slipped into unconsciousness. The IV had been inserted and cardiac monitors placed on his chest and as he was lifted onto the gurney Josh's gaze stayed on the pool of blood that had collected beneath him.
"Sir?" the paramedic raised her voice, "Sir, are you going to follow?"
Josh found out where they were taking Sam and told them he would make his own way there. He went to the bathroom and fastened the window, he hung a towel from the curtain rail and wedged it into the frame to attempt to cover the hole, he washed his hands and watched the blood spiral round and down the plughole and then he leant over the toilet bowl and vomited.
Toby spoke even though Margaret was on the phone, "I need to see him." She took one look at Toby's face placed the caller on hold and went into Leo's office.
"Go on in, Toby."
He rushed past her and didn't give Leo a chance to speak. "Sam's been stabbed. Josh is with him. I'm going to the hospital."
"Sam's been stabbed? Jesus, Toby…was he mugged?" Leo walked over to where Toby stood.
"No he was at home. I don't know, Leo…it must have been an intruder…I don't know. Can we worry about 'why' later on?" Leo gave a small nod and told Toby to go. As Toby hurried past Margaret, Leo yelled her name and she knew whatever Toby's visit was about, it wasn't good news.
Josh placed his forehead against the cool glass of the window and watched the nurses and doctors at work. He couldn't see Sam's face anymore. He had changed positions from where he'd had a clear view when a nurse had come crashing through the door and told him to move. She had been carrying blood, blood for Sam. He strained to hear what was being said but could only make out certain comments above the clatter and bleeps of the ER. "Are you sure?" The voice cut above the others in the room.
"We don't need a chest x-ray…look at the wound, there's cyanosis…he's hypotensive."
Josh thought that Sam had died when he'd heard that. He thought that it was too late to help him: that he had been too late. The Doctors were in fact deciding that an x-ray was unnecessary- it was clear to them what was wrong with Sam. They worked around his unconscious form cutting his clothing, attaching an IV drip and giving him blood to replace what he had bled onto his living room floor. The next time Josh heard one of the doctors speak there was no misunderstanding the meaning of his words.
"Do we know how long he was waiting to be found? Another half hour and it would have been too late."
It wasn't the fact that Sam had nearly died that shocked Josh. He had known that as he had sat helplessly watching his friend lose his struggle to breath. It was the Doctor's words that hit Josh as hard as any punch and then stayed with him and repeated over and over, 'waiting to be found…waiting to be found'. Josh closed his eyes and leaned heavily against the wall. He started as a hand was placed on his shoulder.
"What's happening?" As he spoke Toby caught sight of Sam in the room behind. Both men stood in silence facing opposite directions; one trying anxiously to get a look at Sam's face and the other wondering if he'd ever be able to look Sam in the face again.
Josh sat back in his chair as Toby returned with two more cups of coffee. He sat down next to Josh and rubbed his eyes wearily. "It's not our fault Josh. we didn't know."
"You didn't see him lying there." Josh turned to face Toby, "I heard what the Doctor said. If I'd been half an hour later he would have been dead. So don't sit there and tell me it isn't my fault when Sam was waiting to be found while I was trying to figure out how to put a stapler back on your desk." Josh spat the word stapler with venom and by the time he had finished his rant he was standing over Toby with his hands on his hips. Toby waited until Josh's breathing had slowed and then asked in calm, even voice, "Did you stab him?"
"What…why are you?"
"Did you stab him?" Toby repeated.
"No, Toby, I didn't stab him." Toby just nodded as if he had made his point.
"But I twisted the knife."
"Okay Josh, you carry on along your journey of self hatred and recrimination. I'm going to go ask the nurses if they know anything about the…you know…reality of the situation."
Josh sat back down and reached for the cup of coffee. The smell of it made his stomach lurch and he decided pacing up and down the waiting room would be the best course of action. He had covered the small area at least four times when he heard the door open and turned to see Toby entering with a doctor close behind.
"Sit down, Josh," Toby ordered and Josh sat. The Doctor remained standing by the door and after introducing himself began to relate Sam's condition.
"Mr Seaborn was in a bad condition when he was brought in. We had trouble stabilizing him and decided to take him to surgery to close the wound and insert a chest tube to treat the injury he sustained. The wound caused air to enter between the lung and its lining and this caused pressure on the lung so it collapsed. Unfortunately the uninjured lung was affected by the pressure that built up which prevented his heart from refilling with blood properly. In other words he is a very lucky man that you found him when you did. He's lost a lot of blood and the shock was severe. He had some problems after surgery so we have intubated him. He has a chest tube inserted which will re-expand the lung. He's sedated but a nurse will be along soon to take you to see him." The Doctor shook their hands and walked out leaving the two men staring at the door after him.
CJ sat with her feet on her desk skimming her third newspaper of the morning. At the sight of Leo in the doorway she put the newspaper down and swung her legs off the desk. Leo rarely came to CJ's office. On the few occasions he did it always bad news.
"Hey, CJ." Leo came into the room and shut the door behind him.
"What's wrong?" Leo walked over to CJ's desk and sat down on the edge of it.
"This morning Sam was stabbed by a man who broke into his apartment. Josh found him and he's at the hospital now with Toby. I'm waiting for Toby to call. CJ?" Leo made sure CJ was listening before he continued, "I need you to phone the hospital and get a report of his condition. Nothing to the press until we know what the… situation is. I need you to get a statement from the police as well. This is hard, CJ, I know that but I need you to do your job. I told the President first but I wanted to tell you before you heard it from one of the press."
"How did he take it?"
"Not well. Ron's with him at the moment trying to explain why he doesn't have any information for him yet."
CJ nodded at Leo her face was pale and her hands clasped tightly.
"CJ?" Leo spoke quietly.
"It's okay, Leo. I'm Okay." Leo was about to reply when Margaret appeared at the door.
"Leo, it's Toby."
"Put him through to here." He sat back down on the desk and placed CJ's phone on speaker while they waited for the call to be transferred.
"Toby, I'm with CJ."
"CJ, someone here is going to make a statement to the press but they're going to speak to you first. We just spoke to the doctor." Leo and CJ sat and listened as Toby related what the doctor had told him. Half way through CJ started to take notes. She scribbled 'difficulties stabilising in ER' on her pad and tried to forget the images of Sam that were already forming in her mind.
Toby shut the door quietly behind him and walked to the end of Sam's bed. "CJ's going to do a briefing at two o'clock."
Josh didn't care what CJ was going to do or what the press were going to be told.
"I phoned his parents they're on their way." Toby had made four phone calls since the doctor had spoken to them. Josh knew that he was trying to keep busy and make himself feel useful. Josh had decided he was going to stay until Sam woke up, that was how he was going to be useful. He was going to stay with his friend.
"Are you going to just stand there or sit down?" Josh asked irritably.
"I think I'm going to head back…I can't do anything here. I need to write some notes for CJ anyway."
"Okay. Will you send Donna over? I've got a sports bag in my office with a sweatshirt in. I can't sit here with…I don't want him to see it when he wakes up." Toby had seen but not mentioned the blood that covered Josh's shirt. He had begun to wonder if Josh was oblivious to it.
"Yeah. You'll phone me if there's any change?"
"Yeah."
Toby stayed for a few moments longer. He tapped the bed rail, cleared his throat, turned and left.
A cacophony of sounds filled the room. Machines buzzed and beeped but all Josh could hear was the sound of the ventilator helping Sam to breathe. He watched the bubbles of air travelling down the tube from his chest to the water bottle. He held onto Sam's hand with both of his and started to count the bubbles as they made their way down the tube.
A nurse came over to Sam's bed. Josh continued to count. 33…She took Sam's temperature…34…checked the tubing and water bottle…35…replaced a bag of fluid attached to the IV…36…she recorded her findings on the chart at the foot of the bed. The nurse worked wordlessly and Josh was grateful for it.
It was early evening and the ICU unit had taken on a faint reddish glow from the sunset. Sam had been sedated for a number of hours and Josh knew that once the sedative wore off they would remove the tube if they were happy with his breathing. Josh remembered coming round from his operation and the feeling of sheer panic that had overtaken him when he felt the tube in his throat and found he was unable to speak. Josh was determined to be there when that happened to Sam. Donna's hand on his arm startled him from his thoughts and he said nothing as she rubbed his arm soothingly. "I brought your top."
He took the bag and walked over to the far side of the room. Donna watched as he removed his blood soaked shirt and vest and said nothing as he rolled them into a ball and shoved them into the waste bin. He washed his hands, put on the clean top and returned to his seat by the side of the bed.
"What can I do, Josh?" Donna had walked over to hunch down in front of Josh.
"Go to Sam's and pack some things for him. He'll wake up later and he'll want his own things." Josh handed the keys to Sam's apartment to her but she didn't take them.
"Josh, it's a crime scene, the police won't just let me walk in there…I don't think I could anyway."
Josh stared at her then slowly nodded. She stood up and kissed the top of his head then bent over the bed and kissed Sam. It was not long after Donna left that Sam began to stir. Josh called the nurse over and watched as his eyes opened. He looked around the room without seeming to focus on anything and then the panic that Josh knew only too well took hold as confusion was replaced with fear. Josh could hear the nurse talking soothingly and explaining what was happening. She was trying to get Sam to breathe in and out but he was so gripped by terror that he was unable to focus on anything else.
"Sam, you've got to relax and try to breathe by yourself then she'll take it out," as he spoke Josh put his hand on Sam's head and forced his face towards him. Wide frightened eyes stared up at him but this time they seemed to focus. When the nurse spoke again Sam did what he was told and after trying to breathe in and out twice he felt the pressure slowly leaving his throat. Josh continued to keep his hand on Sam's head as he coughed and gagged.
"You're good, Mr Lyman, we could use you around here for all our anxious patients," the nurse said.
"It's only Sam I can calm down; I have the opposite effect on most other people."
The nurse shot a grin at Josh and then raised her voice, "Mr Seaborn do you know where you are?"
Sam had closed his eyes and was only able to mumble in response.
"Come on, Mr Seaborn, open your eyes…open your eyes please."
Sam slowly opened his eyes and let his gaze fall in the general direction of where the voice was coming from.
"That's it...do you know where you are?" the nurse asked.
"Not home…hospital," Sam guessed.
The nurse explained what had happened to Sam in very simple terms and then asked him what he remembered and how he was feeling. Sam answered with almost unintelligible responses. When the nurse left, Sam closed his eyes and again mumbled something that Josh couldn't hear. As Toby and CJ entered the room the sight that greeted them was of Josh leaning close to his friend. They couldn't tell what he was saying but Sam occasionally nodded. Josh had his hand on Sam's head and was stroking his forehead with his thumb. The two visitors walked to the side of the bed and watched as Josh lulled Sam to sleep.