Sam sat at the kitchen table while Josh cleared away the coffee cups. "Thanks for the rug," he said, breaking the silence.

"No problem." Josh opened the freezer door, "Check this out." Sam walked over to Josh and peered into the freezer.

"I asked Donna to put a few meals in here and look what she's done." The freezer was crammed full of food, ready meals, bread, milk and even some home cooked food.

"Wow that's impressive," Josh said as he started to pull out and read a few random cartons. "She didn't do this for me. I just got two casseroles and the rest of the time I had to order in."

Sam smiled, "No you didn't, Josh." He shut the door and Josh felt the cool air rush over him. The two men stood in silence until Josh's pager bleeped. He noticed how Sam jumped at the sound.

"It's Donna, I'm due back in." Josh walked into the living room but Sam made no move to follow him. He called out a question and spoke too quietly for Sam to hear in the hope it would force him out of the kitchen.

"What did you say?"

"I said are you going to go lie down?"

"Oh…yeah. That's a good idea." Sam started towards his bedroom. As he reached the door he turned suddenly and asked, "See you later?"

"Me and Toby are coming, it might be late though, do you want us to call first to-"

"No! I mean, don't phone, it doesn't matter how late it is."

Sam watched Josh as he gathered his coat and keys. On his way out he reached down and plugged the answer phone back in. After he had left, Sam walked into the bathroom to look at the new window. Josh had told him that he couldn't find the same pattern so the panes didn't match anymore. Sam stood for a while absently running his finger along the pattern in the glass. He walked back into the living room turned down the volume on the phone, let the messages play then deleted them. He unplugged the machine, turned the ringer off and headed back to the kitchen. It was the only place in his apartment that held no memories. It was the only place he felt safe.

"Tell me again what he said." Toby was sitting with his head on his hand leaning on his desk.

"He said he couldn't go in…he couldn't get the key in the lock he was shaking." Josh stood by the window, hands on his hips, staring at Sam's desk.

"And after?"

"It was weird. He was quiet. I knew he didn't want to be there but it was the best thing to do right?" Josh turned to face Toby and met his stare. Before he could answer CJ appeared at the door.

"Did he get my message?" Josh sighed, he knew CJ had left an answer phone message for Sam welcoming him home. He hadn't told Toby that he had found Sam staring at the machine and had turned it off. But that was because he hadn't told him what had happened with Donna at the hospital. He didn't like to think of Sam listening to those messages.

"I think he listened to it after I'd gone." Josh hoped he was right. He had plugged the machine back in and he was sure that's what Sam would have done.

Josh made his excuses and left. CJ walked further into the office.

"So what's the secret," she asked and wasn't deterred by Toby's puzzled expression, "you and Josh and the huddling?"

"Excuse me, huddling?"

"Yeah it's what people with secrets do in corners."

"There's no secret. Don't you have a briefing?" Toby could see CJ was not going anywhere. He sighed, stood up, gestured for her to close the door and began to tell her how Josh and he were going to be the sentinels of Sam's mental health.

When Sam heard a knock at the door three hours after Josh had left, he was still sitting in the kitchen. He walked quickly to the door opened it and stepped aside as Toby and Josh entered. "Have you eaten?" Josh asked as he walked past Sam and into the kitchen.

"No I-"

"Did you get some sleep?" he called his voice muffled behind the open fridge door.

"No it was…"

Josh closed the door and studied the younger man.

"What have you done for the past three hours when you should have been resting?"

"I just…I rested, you know, I just… The window looks good."

Toby watched the two men as Josh allowed Sam to change the subject and began an animated description of the man who had replaced the glass in the bathroom. Josh prepared the meal while Sam sat at the kitchen table. When the meal was ready they ate at the table and only when Toby had finished making the coffee did the three men move into the living room again. It wasn't long before Sam fell asleep, coffee cup still in his hand. Toby and Josh watched television for a while and then discussed whether they should wake him. Halfway through the debate Josh's attention was caught by the answer phone plug lying on the floor. Sam had also disconnected the lead from the back of the phone. While he was putting it back in, Josh discovered the ringer button had been turned off.

"What's wrong?" Toby disrupted his thoughts.

"Nothing, Sam must have forgotten to plug it back in," Josh lied as he switched it back on. They decided to wash the dishes, let Sam sleep for a while longer and then wake him.

"Are you going to stay?" Toby asked as Josh put the last of the plates away.

"I thought I would. Just tonight, you know, first night home."

After they had woken Sam, Toby left. Josh announced he was staying the night and Sam helped him make up the spare room. Halfway through the night Josh lay awake wondering if staying had been the right thing to do. As dawn broke, and he helped Sam wake from his second nightmare, he was glad he had.

Leo walked around to the front of his desk and stood with his hands in his pockets staring at Josh. "So he's doing good?"

"Yeah, he looks so much better now. He's bored stupid and can't wait to get back here."

"It's a damn shame they didn't catch him. That would help him, knowing he was locked up."

"I don't know: we haven't really talked about it." Josh looked at Leo. The older man was studying him carefully.

"Is he seeing someone?"

"He told you he would and he has."

"And…" Leo prompted.

"And what, Leo? You asked him to see someone and he did."

"You know what I'm asking here. Is he fit to come back to work?"

"I don't know. I'm not a shrink. What, are you going to fire everyone who won't see a psychiatrist?" Josh's voice was rising, "Do you report to the President after every AA meeting?"

As soon as the words left his mouth Josh regretted them, "I'm sorry that was a crass thing to say."

Leo nodded, "Yes it was. His job's safe Josh. We're just trying to make sure that we don't have a repeat of last Christmas."

"You don't have to worry, Leo, me and Toby are taking care of that."

"Oh, man! Why do I get the feeling that is going to result in all of us needing to see a counsellor?"

"Who's going to see a counsellor?" Josh automatically stood as the President entered the room.

"No one, sir, we were just discussing when Sam will be coming back to work," Josh explained.

Bartlet put down the paper he had been reading and peered over his glasses at Leo, "He's okay to come back?" Leo took the file Bartlet handed him.

"Josh thinks so."

Bartlet was pleased to hear that Leo thought Sam was okay to come back. Leo was pleased that Josh had assured him he was. Josh was just hoping he was right. Sam just needed to get back to work he decided. 'Last Christmas' happened because he had been at home too long with too much time to think. Everything would be okay if Sam came back to work where he and Toby could keep an eye on him.

Sam sat on the floor in front of the wardrobe. He had decided that tidying it out might help rid him of the nightmares. As he pulled the contents out he remembered back to the morning of the attack. He had been here then, looking for his sneakers. He remembered that and he remembered how he had heard a noise. The next thing he remembered was lying on the floor…waiting. He stood up and walked towards the rug in the living room wondering what had happened between his bedroom and the living room. He wished it would come back to him and then at least the fear of remembering would be gone. He went back to the bedroom and started rummaging through the piles of stuff that he had pulled from the wardrobe. A sudden noise stopped his actions. The fear that someone was in his home again was very real. He dropped what he was holding and stood up. His mind was racing and the rational part of his brain was quickly giving way to fear. He couldn't breathe, was shaking hard and felt dizzy. He walked over to the door and shut it tight, leaning against it he slowly sank down to the ground. He forced himself to concentrate on his breathing like the nurses had told him to after his nightmares in the hospital. This was the same, he thought, this was just panic. Slowly he gained control of his body and his emotions. He put his head on his knees and focused just on his breathing. He sat like that for a while until he felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket, "Yeah…hello."

"It's Josh, why aren't you answering the phone?" Sam had switched it off again after Josh had left earlier.

"I was in the …couldn't…hear it." Sam thought he sounded normal but there was still breathlessness to his voice that Josh picked up on.

"What have you been doing? You sound out of breath."

Sam clutched his hair in his fist and tried desperately not to ask Josh to come straight over instead he replied, "I've been cleaning…the wardrobe…I…" at the catch in Sam's voice Josh realised something was wrong. He stood up and reached over for his car keys.

"I'm coming over…tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing, Josh, it's nothing. I've just done too much probably. Don't come. You don't need to. I'm fine Josh, I'm fine."

Josh sat back down. Sam was not fine. He could hear it in his voice and the garbled words. There was a long pause until Sam broke the silence and spoke more steadily.

"Really I'm fine now. I'll see you later." Sam ended the call and left Josh feeling even worse than before. The sooner he came back to work the better, for one thing was becoming clear; Sam really wasn't fine at all.

Sam's desk had remained untouched since the day before the attack and Toby had decided it was time to straighten it out. He reached behind him and threw another pile of paper into the waste bin as Josh came into the room and sat down opposite him. Neither man spoke. Toby moved on to sorting through the various bottles of pills and vitamins on the desk occasionally stopping to throw some away. "These went out of date months ago," he mumbled to himself.

Josh continued to sit in silence as Toby stood and went into his own office. He returned after a short while with a few files which he placed on the desk.

"What are those?"

"Things I want Sam to work on, nothing too demanding." Toby placed the files in an order known only to him.

"Don't give him trivial stuff, he'll hate that." Josh absently flipped open the cover of one of the files.

"It's not trivial, I just don't want him to be weighed down on his first day back, that's all." Toby stood up and nodded towards his office and Josh followed him, he waited for him to enter and then closed the door behind them.

"I'm not going to see Sam tonight and I don't think you should either."

"Okay, is this a new part of the plan because you really need to tell me if you're going to change it like that?" Josh sat down on the sofa.

"I'm telling you now. Sam is home and we haven't got him to talk yet."

"Yeah," Josh agreed.

"We think he's not eating properly despite having enough food in his freezer to feed a platoon."

"Yeah."

"We know he's not sleeping and we're pretty sure he's scared of being alone in his own apartment." Toby walked away from his desk and over to the window.

"Yeah. You know, when you put it like that it really sounds like our plan isn't working." Josh watched Toby turn away from the window and cross his arms. "So not going over tonight is a good idea because…"

"Because it occurs to me that Sam hasn't spent an evening alone since he got home and I think that's what he needs to do. He's coming back to work on Monday and if we want things to return to normal then we need to stop spending so much time there."

Josh rubbed his hand over his face. He was tired and he had to admit the thought of going home to his own bed was a tempting one. "I think you're right but I don't think today's the day to start." At Toby's puzzled expression Josh took a deep breath and explained what had happened on the phone earlier and later that night he went through the pretence of putting on his coat as Toby left only to take it off again as Sam shut and bolted the door behind Toby.

Sam listened to the raised voices of Josh and Toby. He was going back to work tomorrow and the two men had been filling him in on what had been happening while he had been away. Until they had started arguing about what had been happening,

"That wasn't why you held the meeting, Josh."

Wait I-" Josh began

"That wasn't why you held the meeting. This isn't an opportunity for you to re-invent the week. You held the meeting because you messed up the phone call."

Sam smiled as he listened to Toby's exasperated voice increase in volume on the last few words. He had spent the day with his mother which meant he had been away from the apartment for most of it. Last night was the first night he had spent alone and he was secretly celebrating today that he had got through it and even managed to sleep for a few hours. He continued to listen to the heated exchange which Josh was still losing while he prepared sandwiches and coffee.

"Okay, first, you weren't there and second, how do you know I didn't mess up the call on purpose?" Josh now stood with his hands on his hips facing Toby.

Toby held his head in his hands and groaned. "You're standing there telling me you planned it all now and you want a reason why I know you didn't?

As Josh nodded the phone started to ring.

"Can someone get that?" Sam called from the kitchen. Toby started to rise but Josh stopped him.

"Oh no, you don't get out of it that easily." Toby sat back down and looked up at Josh who stood waiting for his reply.

"Can someone please answer the phone?" Sam called again. If the two men hadn't been so focused on their debate they would have noticed the strain in his voice.

"You're not that bright, that's one reason, and another one is you hadn't read Leo's notes before you made the call which is why," Toby started shouting again, "you messed up the call in the first place!"

Josh was just trying to come up with a suitable face-saving response when both men jumped at the sound of the kitchen door being slammed open.

"God, can someone just stop this damn phone," as he spoke Sam strode towards the phone and swiped at the receiver. He sent it flying into the air and crashing against the wall, on its way down it knocked a picture to the floor shattering the glass.

The silence that followed was just as shattering. Sam stood with one hand on the wall the other running through his hair he was breathing hard and his eyes were tightly closed. Toby and Josh stood staring at him, stunned by his sudden outburst. Toby gestured for Josh to go to Sam as he replaced the receiver and started to clear up the glass.

"Sam." There was no response. "Sam!" Josh called more loudly. He stood by his side and put his hand on Sam's shoulder which made him jump but at least look at Josh.

"It won't go away," Sam whispered.

"What?" Josh gently pulled him onto the sofa.

"The fear it keeps…I can't…it won't stop," Sam was shaking now and his breathing was becoming harsher.

Josh crouched down beside him. "You have to calm down, Sam, or you're going to hyperventilate or have a panic attack or something…" Josh trailed off as he realised that that was exactly what was happening.

"Okay, just breath slowly in and out…in and out…that's it…you're fine." He put his hand on Sam's back and tried to coax him out of his panic. Toby finished clearing away the mess and listened to the sounds of Sam's gasps slowly returning to deep breaths and then a more relaxed pattern of breathing. Sam's eyes lost the look of terror at not being able to catch his breath and his gaze rested on his clasped hands as Josh slowly stood and fetched a glass of water. When he returned he found Toby had taken his position by Sam's side and was quietly talking to him. He stood, took the glass from Josh and followed Sam into his bedroom.

When Toby emerged he found Josh fiddling with the phone. "I should have told you about this. I think Sam has been turning it off and I know he hasn't been using the answer phone," Josh admitted.

"He just told me. He said he'd had such a good day with his mother that he forgot about his 'phone phobia'. That was the first time he'd heard it ring. He started to tell me about hearing it and the answer phone messages when he was attacked, but I stopped him." Toby collapsed onto the sofa.

"I thought we were meant to get him talking about it?"

"Not like this. But this is good it's a…breakthrough. He's admitted that he's frightened so that's got to be a good thing."

"So what do we do now?"

Toby picked up the remote and put his feet up on the sofa. "Honest to God, Josh, I haven't the first idea. Let's see how he gets on at work. Let's just wait and see."