When Josh walked into Sam's apartment the sight that greeted him was one he had hoped he would never see again; Sam curled up on the floor. Josh knelt down beside him and took the phone out of his hand.

"CJ, I'm here, it's alright, I'll phone you back." Josh flung the phone down and shook Sam whose eyes opened immediately but were unfocused. He felt Sam's pulse which was racing, he felt hot and his face was flushed. Josh helped him to sit against the back of the sofa. Josh had seen Sam drunk many times but never like this. He scanned the room to find some clues to explain his condition but everything was in its place and the bottle of whisky wasn't empty. Suddenly a terrifying thought struck Josh.

"Sam, did you take any pills?" He shook him as he spoke.

"No…don't think I…no." The last no was a definite one and Josh sighed in relief. Sam grabbed hold of Josh's arm and tried to pull himself up. "Feel sick," he mumbled.

Josh helped him to his feet and into the bathroom. He stayed by his side until he had finished and laid him back against the side of the bath. Sam was breathing heavily and was having trouble focusing on Josh. His face was flushed and Josh felt his pulse. He had no idea what a normal pulse was but he knew that Sam's was racing. "Jesus, Sam, what's wrong with you?"

Sam responded to Josh's voice and tried to sit up a little straighter. "Josh…I still feel sick."

"It's alright, what else is wrong?"

Sam was looking straight at Josh now, "My head…my head feels like…worst headache ever."

Sam closed his eyes and slipped towards Josh who shook him gently, "Sam, I don't know what's wrong but I don't want you falling asleep." Sam put his hand against Josh's chest and pushed himself back up.

Josh helped him back to his original position and said more to himself than Sam, "I'm calling an ambulance."

"No…no, Josh, please…doctor…call doctor."

Josh studied Sam for a moment and decided he would call the doctor first. Sam was clearly not well but he was talking and was making sense. After he had given him some water Josh went back to the kitchen and pulled the doctor's number off the fridge, the magnet that was holding it in place flew off and landed on the other side of the room.

Toby was just coming out of Josh's office when he saw CJ heading towards him.
"Where's Josh? He was meant to be waiting for me."

"He had to go. I've got to see Leo quickly. Get your stuff together and meet me in the lobby."

"We're going to Sam's aren't we?"

"Yes we are," CJ replied as she disappeared out of sight.

Sam closed his eyes and listened to Josh's side of the conversation with his Doctor.

"I don't think he's drunk that much…a lot yeah I didn't think he was going to stop…I think so…headache yes…like a rash and flushed…he's finished them I think, hold on." Josh came back into the bathroom and started rummaging through the pharmacy. He knelt beside Sam. "What pills are you taking?"

"Finished them."

"Where's the bottle?" Sam closed his eyes and felt Josh shake him.

"Where's the bottle, Sam?"

"Waste bin."

Josh tipped the contents of the bin onto the floor and rummaged through until he found the empty bottle which he took back to the phone.

"He took the last one this morning…me-tron-id-azole," Josh spelt the name of the antibiotics out slowly. "That explains what…oh I see…yeah…yes…no I can stay…and if that happens?"

Sam tried to stand as he listened to Josh finishing his call to the doctor but his legs gave way and he slumped to the floor again. He wanted to tell Josh that he had remembered the stabbing but the throbbing in his head was now so bad he could hardly think, let alone talk. He opened his eyes as he felt Josh beside him again. "It's the antibiotics, you weren't meant to drink alcohol with them…they told you that at the hospital why did you-"

Josh was interrupted by Sam moaning and slipping further down the side of the bath. He was holding his head in his hands, both fists clenched. "It doesn't matter we'll talk later. You need to get to bed."

Josh helped him to stand, wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled Sam's arm over his shoulder. They made slow progress to the bedroom and Josh realised he was taking more and more of Sam's weight. As they reached the door to the bedroom Josh was suddenly halted by Sam placing his hand on the door frame. "What are you doing? You need to lie down."

He managed to ease Sam's hand off the door and continued guiding him towards the bed.

"No…Josh, stop." Sam couldn't stop Josh from moving forwards so he slumped to the floor instead.

"Damn it, Sam, stop fighting me, you need to lie down."

"Not here…please…not here." Josh couldn't make sense of Sam's behaviour. The doctor hadn't said anything about him being confused. He decided to get Sam into bed and phone again. He knelt behind him and started to hoist him up. It was the suddenness of the blow that knocked Josh flying backwards rather than the force of it. He stayed on his back feeling his bloodied nose and registering the fact that Sam had found the strength to hit him. The sounds of Sam stumbling and cursing made him get to his feet and follow him. He entered the living room just in time to see him staggering towards the front door.

"Maybe we should have phoned first," CJ wondered aloud as she stood waiting with Toby.

"You were the one who had us dashing over here. Do we need to be here or not?"

Before CJ could answer the front door swung open to reveal Sam's anxious face closely followed by Josh's bloody one. Sam was hauled back into the room by Josh who swung him around to face him. CJ and Toby quickly entered the apartment and watched the scene playing out in front of them.

Josh was gripping Sam's shoulders. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Sam didn't answer. The strength that his panic had provided had now left him and he slumped forward onto Josh who struggled to lower them both to the floor. For a while no one moved and then Josh looked up at Toby. "Help me get him to the spare room."

He didn't know why Sam didn't want to go into his bedroom but he certainly wasn't going to try to make him. The two men lifted him off the ground and made their way to the room. Once there Josh hovered by the door while Toby took off Sam's shoes and loosened his tie. Josh went to the bathroom and returned with the empty waste bin which he placed by the side of the bed. CJ came in with a tumbler and a jug of water and pulled a chair over to the bed. Josh told CJ and Toby what the doctor had told him about the antibiotic Sam was taking being dangerous when mixed with alcohol.

"He said we have to ride it out. Let him sleep if he wants but keep a close eye on him. He still feels sick and his head is really bad. I suppose it's a bit like alcohol poisoning," Josh suggested.

"But without the actual getting drunk and having fun part," Toby commented.

"Why don't you two go and make some coffee or something. I think it's going to be a long night." CJ said as she helped Sam to sit and drink some of the water. He smiled gratefully at her.

"You see! The situation calls for a woman's touch," she said as she gently stroked Sam's forehead.

"You're absolutely right, CJ. Who do you think we should call?" Josh asked in mock seriousness.

"You do know you're bleeding, there, from a punch by a man who could hardly stand up?" Josh opened his mouth to answer but his face disappeared from the door as Toby pulled him out of the room.

CJ sat with Sam for a long time. After Josh had cleaned up his nose and made Toby look at it twice to check it wasn't broken, the two men watched television and waited for CJ to emerge.

At one point Josh turned the volume up as the sound of Sam vomiting was too much for him to listen to. And at one point he thought he could hear Sam crying and that was when he suddenly realised he needed to go and move his car in case he got a ticket.

When he came back to the apartment he was relieved to find that Sam had finally fallen asleep. CJ was sitting on the sofa looking exhausted while Toby was just quietly closing the door to Sam's room. Josh came and sat down opposite CJ. "I asked him why he'd had a drink when I found him but he didn't answer. I know it says not to drink with most medicines but this was like a serious 'do not even take a sip' type warning. I can't make sense of it."

CJ sighed, "I can." She lifted her shoeless feet up onto the sofa. "He remembered the stabbing, he bumped into someone…well it doesn't matter how but that's what happened he remembered the stabbing and he came into the apartment in a state and started to drink in the hope that it would calm him down."

Josh walked over to the still open bottle of whisky and put the lid back on. He knew what it was like to try to block memories with drink. He also knew it didn't work.

Josh turned and looked at CJ and then quietly asked, "Did the stabbing happen in his bedroom?" She nodded.

"Did he tell you what happened?" Josh had now turned away from her again.

"No not really…just…well just that it happened in there and he remembered it. I didn't want to push. He was getting upset."

"He said something else…something you're not telling me."

On hearing this Toby, who had sat listening silently to the whole exchange, joined in. "No, no, no, we are not having this conversation now. We are going to sit here watching television and hopefully CJ is going to carry on this…maternal thing of hers and make some sandwiches and we are going to sit here until we know Sam is okay and then we're going to go home apart from Josh who will pretend he is going home but will actually be staying."

Josh was amazed at Toby's revelation. "You knew all the time?"

"No, I suspected it but you just confirmed it," Toby replied.

CJ smiled and went to check on Sam. Josh made the sandwiches because he knew where everything was and while all this was happening Sam slept.

Toby had fallen asleep soon after eating. It was getting late and the low murmur of the television and the warm room had induced sleep in CJ as well. Josh stood in the doorway to Sam's bedroom. He found himself trying to picture what had happened. Had the man walked in and surprised him? Was Sam in bed…no he was dressed and ready for work. He walked further into the room and sat on the bed. Why did he think it would make it easier if he could picture the scene? Maybe the man had just come in and attacked him before he had even realised he was there. He allowed himself to be comforted by that thought until reality took over and he knew that Sam would have been aware of every terrifying moment. Josh's thoughts were interrupted by a noise coming from the spare room. He sat up and listened. The noise came again this time louder. It was followed by an unintelligible murmur. Josh walked quickly to the doorway and the noises became louder. A sudden shout startled Josh and woke CJ and Toby. It was followed by another cry, "No…here."

Toby started to rise but Josh held his hand up, "I've got it."

He started to make his way to the room but stopped when he heard, "I'm here, Josh…look!"

Toby made a move towards the spare room but Josh held him off, "I said I've got it," he spoke angrily and Toby backed off.

Sam's nightmares had become more elaborate recently. After the intruder's voice whispered that Josh wasn't coming, Sam would lie and continue to wait. Sometimes he could see Josh trying to find him but something would be in his way, sometimes he could see Josh but Josh wouldn't be able to see him and sometimes, like now, Josh would be standing at the end of the room but not paying any attention to Sam's pleas.

"I'm here…look…I'm right here." Sam's voice was begging Josh to look at him. Josh walked towards the bed and gently shook Sam but it didn't have any effect.

"Sam, I can see you. I can see you now." Josh hoped his voice would break through to Sam but he continued to thrash and tried to release himself from Josh's grip. Josh shook him more violently.

"I can see you. Wake up,"

He woke suddenly, lurching upwards. Josh didn't let go of his arms until Sam muttered, "Jesus," and fell back against the pillows. He didn't seem to notice Josh who sat in silence until his breathing had slowed.

He handed him a glass of water. "Do you feel any better?"

Josh heard a mumbled 'yes' as Sam turned on his side.

"Do you want anything?" Silence. "Can I get you anything?"

The room was dimly lit but Josh was able to make out the shake of Sam's head.
He headed for the door but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Sam whisper, "Why didn't you come?"

Josh stood with his hand on the doorknob, his back to Sam. "I did. As soon as you said you felt ill, I came straight here."

"No…when I was stabbed…why didn't you come?"

Josh didn't reply. It was the question he had dreaded Sam would ask and for all the times he had gone over the answer in his head he couldn't think of a single word to say now.

"I waited…I was waiting," Sam mumbled the words and Josh knew he was drifting off to sleep. He stood for a little while longer and then released his tight grip on the door handle and walked into the living room. Toby was perched on the back of the sofa and CJ stood by him, they both stared at Josh.

CJ was about to ask if Sam was okay when she noticed Josh's face which was drained of colour. He picked up his coat and bag and started hunting for his keys.

"I've got to go now…can you stay? I can't stay." He was talking rapidly Toby noticed the keys on the armchair and picked them up.

"What happened?" He tossed the keys from hand to hand. It reminded Josh of Sam in the car when he had brought him home. He said nothing and held out his hand for the keys. Toby put them in his pocket. "I'll stay but you're not driving home."

When Toby returned from taking Josh home CJ was in the kitchen putting away the last of the dishes. He entered the room and sat down at the table watching her work.

"Did Josh tell you what happened?" she asked.

"No. What did Sam say to you earlier?"

"Nothing he was just upset." CJ carried on wiping the plate even though it had been dry before she had picked it up.

Toby stood up, reached over and took the plate out of her hands. "What did he say?"

She put the towel down and sighed. "He asked me why no one came to help him. He was feeling sick, Toby, and I think he was a little…confused he didn't really know what he was talking about." Toby nodded for her to continue. "He told me the man had come into the bedroom and he had tried to calm him down but he had pushed him down on the bed and held him and then stabbed him." CJ paused and looked at Toby, his face was expressionless. "He said that if Josh had come then he would have been alright and as much as he can't cope with thinking about the attack it's the memories of waiting for someone to find him that are harder to cope with."

Toby started spinning the plate slowly in his hands. "That doesn't sound like confusion to me."

"Oh yeah, what does it sound like?"

"Clarity." He spun the plate high into the air, caught it and put it back on the side.

"No I don't think…it wasn't like that. I just verbalized the thoughts of a very frightened man. He didn't sit up in bed and say 'I realise how I feel now' he was saying it like he still believed it. God Toby, he believes we left him waiting on purpose. I don't think he's even begun to come to terms with what happened."

"Do you want me to lie on the sofa and tell you about my mother?"

CJ ignored him, she knew her words were making him uncomfortable. "How many times do you and Josh have to tell each other that Sam is fine before it comes true because if I join in maybe we can speed up the process? Sam is not fine and you know that and Josh knows that, you just don't know what to do about it."

CJ stopped and Toby looked up at her, there was no flippant comment from him this time just a look of total exhaustion. "Work out what to do, Toby, because if you don't Leo will."

Toby sat for a long while in Sam's room after CJ had left. He sat and he listened to Sam breathe and he tried to work out what to do.